I'm a single homeowner giving candy to trick-or-treaters. What are you doing this Halloween guys?

I'm a single homeowner giving candy to trick-or-treaters. What are you doing this Halloween guys?

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I, also, am attempting to lure lolis into my sex dungeon

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im drinking alcohol and shitposting on Sup Forums

it rained here so now i get to eat all the shit my mom was gonna give to trick or treaters

sitting in my room doing xanax and being a neet

Im sitting in my dorm on Sup Forums drinking titos mixed with Newmans own Mago Tango, also its my b-day mf

I've lived this exact day before. Good on you user

also about to go to the halloween capitol of the US and get wasted

>newmans own

ewww,the salad dressing? way to ruin alcohol you retarded fuck,is this baby's first alcoholic drink?

Shit blows, don't have any friends here, and my gf is an hour away, she took me out to dinner last night tho so that was nice, Im just getting turnt here and playing minecraft

where?

The juice u tard

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How's it going?

>woefully misinformed
>aggressively insulting
>has never experienced the finer things in life
>including, but not limited to, Newman's Own Juice

I'm in Chicago about to leave work network admin 12 hour shift. Bout to go to my wife's family house her cousins are cool to talk to.

Keep an eye out for MAGA hats, I hear they're hunting you nigger faggots these days

Thank you for defending the juice

>We don't celebrate Halloween here
>Put on a black cape anyway
>Look like Uncle Fester with hair
>Walk outside in the dark
>Wierd out some people
>Get bored fast
At least had a nice walk and a reason to leave the house once in a while.
Fuck.

what juice? what kind of shitty vegan liberal cesspool do you live in

that juice is the only reason I survived 12 years of daily hallucinogens

maga hats in chicago? wow,you rednecks really are dumb arent you

reading the preliminary investigation report on a swedish teacher who fell in love with one of her 10-year-old students, shit's whack

I live where we have good juice, you troglodyte

>finer things in life

like some shitty vegan liberal juice? or are you to dumb to realize that 99 percent of people who buy newman's own are vegan liberal faggots

Another one to add to the list

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u the type of fat nigga who scrape ketchup off a cheeseburger because ew, vegetables.

u the type of nigga who goes to burger king and gets his beyond meat and everybody working behind the counter spits on it because your some dumb vegan faggot

>not sure which one of us is being more ironic

damn wrong picture

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1. Do you drink non vegan juice?
2. fuck off I bet you like shit juice
3. if you don't like shit juice im sure you only drink some terrible off brand local soda

staying inside and playing video games and smoke some weed

I've had beyond meat and I can't tell the difference.

I too am a single homeowner, but I'm giving out bouncy balls from Old Navy. They sell them for 25 cents each which is about what I'd be spending on candy. Difference is I can keep them and give them out next year if there's any left.

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>only the finest meat juices for me, thanks

I bet u have heart disease you cholesterol ridden bitch

are you single because your wife left your dumbass?

your neighbors are searching various databases for you. 100% guaranteed.

Some kid just showed up all on his lonesome in a Transformers costume. I felt bad. He's the only kid all alone and you could tell in his voice

>>tfw you never be molested by your hot teacher

thats God reminding you of your responsibility to cull the herd.

Lol I'm actually not black dumbass and maga in chicago suck a dick

I know that feel

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>living in chicago
>too cold and poor to recognize sarcasm
>wit is a rich man's game

Ya bud your sarcasm made total sense

For giving out bouncy balls? Maybe I should point out I'm also old. Had a wife and kids once, but the kids grew up and the wife is gone.

What possible reason would you have for assuming this and calling him a dumbass?

Salem MA

These trick-or-treaters are adorable. I have to keep the bowl almost empty and refill it every other doorbell ring. That way even the youngest ones will only grab one even though I say to grab one every time. It's the only way I'll stay stocked until trick or treating is over

teens I can at least understand, my greatest wish when I was that age was for my arts teacher to just grab me, take me to the nearest toilet and force herself on me

but a 10-year-old? the report is pretty fascinating too, a dive into a completely angst-ridden, messed-up psyche, and reads like one of those games where you find journals of some past event and slowly piece the story and characters together

first it's an endless stream of text messages in the vein of "you're the light of my life", "you're my everything", getting jealous when the boy is spending time with girls in his class and so on

after that comes an endless stream of online confessions posted to some church website where she alternates between wishing for him to commit to her and leaving her family, and wishing for the strength to stop and that she won't be found out, promising to always be a good person if god just makes all the evidence go away

then finally an endless stream of google searches along the lines of "kissing underage child illegal", "relationship with underage prison sentence"

Watching the babadook with my wife and carving pumpkins

Carve her pumpkin

That green witch in the middle.

that's such an old man thing to do

not those nice-looking galaxy ones with glitter inside
not those translucent ones with a figure inside
not the ones with a nice color pattern or the frosted ones
but fucking old navy

these kids are so polite

kids are polite

>Iwasonlypretendingtoberetarded.jpeg

Only if there's candy on the line, if you whip out your dick they a all "MOOOOM", so rude

Hey be nice

Had some young women at the door, said candy was out and showed them my tongue bodymod if they wanted some treats. They understood very well and were gone faster than the candy.

I do not don't understand

Yep, probably is an old man thing to do. Usually Old Navy has better one than these, but when I went to get them on Tuesday this is what they had in bulk. Do you think the kids give a fuck?

I have a knob on my tongue tip.
Offered the girls some oral.
>They went thattaway

I still dont get it? You got oral sex? What?

You are trolling me, no?
I offered them to do oral sex on them. My tongue tip is modified to maximize the experience.

post pic

Just jumping in to clarify ...
He offered oral sex ...
>> they went that away
and
they were gone quicker than the candy
both imply that they left without taking him up on the offer.

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based

pic related

and this guy rounded it up nicely:

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just made my night, thanks user

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Wife took daughter around the neighborhood. I hit on every single mom dressed as a unicorn & gave out candy.

You'd get a lot more milf ass if you gave out full bars. Dont be cheap.

Lol. You should have been there hours ago. Good like finding parking.

>Do you think the kids give a fuck?
I would have. I only collected marbles with a nice visual aesthetic.

Any questions left? Because I'm off any minute now.

How many single moms dressed as a unicorn?

I don't need a thing to get milf ass. I'm living the life. Being single 50+ with a good paying job means single women my age are hitting on me. This isn't the thread for it, but it's outrageous and even embarrassing sometimes.
Halloween is for the under 10 crowd. If they're old enough to understand the marketing I don't care if they like the bouncy balls.

All in all I still think bouncy balls beats candy, even Snickers and Reeses Cups which what I gave out last year.

and i bet i have more testosterone in my body then you do fag

>babadook

i babadook'd your wife's pussy