Hey Sup Forums so recently I received a job interview but may potentially have to take a drug test and I've smoked a...

Hey Sup Forums so recently I received a job interview but may potentially have to take a drug test and I've smoked a lot of weed the past week. Does anyone have any advice in how I can pass a drug test or maybe a fast detox?

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When you piss user always do midstream never the beginning and end of your piss. Drink a lot of water for the next few days, and before and on the day of your testing drink a monster so your piss won't be too diluted. Good luck user.

cranberry juice, 3 liters of ocean spray cranberry juice no sugar added is 5 dollars at walmart or whatever store you have next to you it also helps defeat UTI'S and is a good detox for a number of things. hope that helps :)

Urine Luck.

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What happens if the pee is to diluated?Does fake pee actually work? how's that process work?

The big issue I have is I smoke A LOT and im' not sure if i can clean out my system in a week but you guys are saying drink a lot of water and cranberry juice and I should be good.

>drink lots of water
>start adding creatine powder to the water
>take some vitamin b12 to add color back, but not too much or it will be neon green

Basically drinking lots of water makes you piss water, adding creatine will produce excess creanine inside your body (the identifier used by labs to make sure piss isn't watered down). Then the b12 puts the color back in the piss. Fake piss synthesized by your own organs.

Dude I have had a job that took my piss and never busted and i chalked the reason up to that it is a security theater type deal and think about it someone has to test each bottle of piss seems like a reach to me

Live in a country where weed is legal is my advise

water in place of your piss

Can't speak for every job ofc, but I didn't smoke for like 2 months for my last job, only to find out that they were only gonna test my saliva for drugs I took in the past 48 hours. Seems like they were just checking for the type of drugs that turn people into addicts. A lot of jobs are adopting this mindset, as weed becomes more and more like alcohol, so they might not even care that you smoke. That being said, drinking lots of water, working out, and eating oranges is what my friends always recommended. I also saw this stuff in grocery stores that has an X on the bottle, and I heard it actually works. I wouldn't trust it 100 percent on it's own though. Best of luck to you.

This is the only real advice. Buy fake piss, but make sure you get good stuff don't get the cheap stuff. Look into it, it works and it is relatively easy to do. Especially if you are overweight or heavy smoker, fast detox methods are too risky for a drug test that may be coming soon.

What about getting someone else pee?

Also I live in texas so CBD is legal but I'm not sure if smoking CBD will also make the drug test pop positive.

Yeahh...Elon...you was all time

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Just become a famous internet pefsonality like that dude who rides pewdiepies dick. You'll never have to work again.

It will.

Hm.. so im wondering if i can just blame CBD if possible and maybe they'll believe it

This thread again..

a week isn't enough time and your piss will be diluted which will be a red flag
fake piss works if you follow the process correctly and make sure it is the correct temperature
only issue is if someone is watching you piss but it's still doable
don't risk a fail by trying to detox in a week

cbd and thc are two totally different compounds
cbd will not register as a positive in a test for the
you don't talk your way out of a failed test, they go with the results

I use Quick Fix fake piss and it had never failed once for me. It comes with heating pads and everything to make sure you dont fuck it up. Worth the money and will pass lab tests.

Careful with the diluted pee.
I know a probation UA thst came back dilute resulted in the PO ordering an immediate retest.

im someone else

Fair enough, i know CBD has a very low percentage.. man i just wish it was legal already.

Wait wth are you talking about diluted? Maybe homie just likes to hydrate? What's wrong with that?

It only takes 1 sitting to piss dilute, bro. If you drink a gallon of water before going in you'll likely be pissing water with very little anything else , especially creatine (dilute)

This will work depending on the test. If they send it to a lab, there is a high chance you will be required to retake or they will count it as an auto failure. But if they test on site with a test trip you're probably ok doing this depending on how sharp the person testing is.

If it goes to a lab, it will come back 100% as a retake if it's too diluted.

Buy some Niacin. Take one or two with every meal and drink a fuckton of water, after 2-3 days works every time for me

dawg the people testing do this shit for a living
they know all the tricks and they're not gonna waste time if your test is a fail or inconclusive
idk what you're trying to say

Fastest and easiest way to pass a drug test, guaranteed?

>don't do drugs if you can't do drugs young man,fucking around skating drug tests is what niggers and children do. You're either a man and you smoke weed because you can or you're a dipshit for trying to live above what you are but still worrying about the rules.

This doesn't work. This would be good to add to Niacin adds color which makes it more likely for the person testing to think its legit.

Go to a sauna and sit in there and sweat, and drink an absurd amount of water. Thats literally the only "detox" You're actually gonna get because it needs to work its way out of your blood stream. Sweat and hydrate, repeat.

just dont be a maricon my brudda, ;v 5 dollars weed fron mexico cabrones

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Or you just use synthetic urine and fuck the system.

from >:v shittttttttt

idk how it is in texas but here in MA recreational weed (cbd and thc) are both legal but your employer can still have the right fire you/not hire you if you show positive for it

Exactly.
Ttying to trick a UA by drinking a lot of water is retarded. One of the main hings they look for..
OP'd be better off telling them in the interview that he smokes weed socially on occasion than trying to pass dilute.

It only costs about 22 bucks to run a standard 5 panel test. Shit you can get a self test kit for less than 20 at CVS or Walgreens

do you realize it's not in your bloodstream it's in your fat

It's illegal in Texas

Just clarifying.
The post coukd potentially be interpreted as "it takes time for you to dilute your piss" or otherwise doesn't clarify how easy it is to dilute your piss and fail a UA

It can be legal all day kid, if the employer doesnt want to hire a stoner they don't have to. Just like your landlord doesn't have to rent to a stoner. tbh they dont have to rent to a tobacco smoker either if they don't want to and there isn't shit you can do about it

CBD isnt illegal and an employer couldn't deny you a job for solely that reason.

You drink your synthetic urine. I am a grown up and I simply dont do drug tests.

Why would I drink fake piss you mong? I pour it in the cup and pass my test and enjoy my 6 figure job.

Yes they can. Cbd isn't a fucking human right dipshit, you can't Sue them for not hiring you because you're a stoner and you're fucktarded if you think you can argue about it

You're retarded if you think CBD shows up on a drug test. What a fucking dumbass you are.

>6 figure job

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I'll smoke my weed and continue to be an engineer, stay mad cuck.

Oh really wow thanks why are you here again yanks I wasn’t listening lol stupid ass stay mad kid eat my ass fag

I like your larp. Engineer is definitely a good one to RP

ah ok. yeah I agree with you. they look for diluted piss, that is not a viable method

Buy this faggot. Works like charm.

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I understand you're jealous and cant fathom someone is smarter than you, stay retarded cuck.

Can confirm, use this all the time.

Guaranteed success, just have to keep it between 90-100

kek
You're on Sup Forums, faggot.
That automatically makes everything you full of shit. Guarantee no one else buys your "6 figure stoner engineer " claims.

This, used multiple times. Google UltraKleen

this is the goto from everything I've heard
if not available, I used monkey whizz and it worked like a charm

Not OP but I'm a stoner approaching 6 figures... fuck off

Sure, kid.
Come back when you make 7 figures like me

Nigger I'm almost 40

What an old child you are.

Enjoy working at Wendy's for the next forty years.

Based Bob

Shiiiid nigga I make 15 figures and only fuck chinks.

yeah and I'm the queen of england

see how easy it is?

Nice LARPing ma dude
You must be hella cool to chill with and to light up some dubbies and an eengenier as well that’s so rad

Daaaaang, bro. 15 figures! Is that a lot in American money?

Nigger!
I’m 0 years old and on my way to put a baby in ur moms belly
Niggas y’all might ésé call me Steven stapdada cuz my pull out game is atrocious ,ma NIGGGGGER !

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This plus sweat it out go to a gym with a sauna worked for me also cut anything with preservatives they will make drugs stay longer in you're fat cells

Since this is a weed thread now I need to ask
Can weed be completely out of your system In 1-2 months? I take UAs as part of my probation but I want to smoke and I only get tested every 2-3 months. I’m kind of a fat fuck though keep that in mind

yes easily but not worth the risk
just stop smoking. it's not that hard. not like you're quitting heroin or alcohol

You’re right it’s probably not worth the risk

Don't risk it
They csn order a random UA whenever and they love tossing one at you when you least expect it.

Kys degenerate scum. You don't deserve a job.

Just give yourself an oil change
Shove a tube into your urethra and up into your bladder, then after you drain all of the piss out of it you inject the clean piss in.

Then you take the tube out and you have clean piss in your bladder, will stay the right temp and you can pee it out of your own dick.

it's fucking weird how us Hispanics can look so similar. you're so fucking close to looking like my older brother

Heavy smoker here. For a mouth swab test I've smoked the day before and passed just by brushing my like 3 times and kept mouthwash in my mouth for like 5 mins. For a piss test I've used a friends piss and hand warmer to keep it warm. A friend of mine who's also a heavy smoker passed a piss test by just drinking a 40 dollar drink that apparently made him piss green at first but after the green piss your apparently clean. He also smoked the day before and passed his test.

Hey it worked for thad castle, should work for the average joe

It's possible if you wanna risk it. I have a couple friends that used to be on probation and still smoked. Got tested every 2-3 months like urself. They would burn for the first month then not for the next month or two. Still risky though. They were also skinny not sure if being overweight makes drugs stay in your body longer.

Take another job. Fuck Nazis.

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I had my mom pee for me 100% honest. Used a visine container because it's 2 ounces which is exactly what you need. stuck it up under my balls because you need it to be warm. tied it to my belt loop with a bit of yarn. good luck user

It's more likely they'll do a mouth swab than a piss test.

I got a little bottle of ten pills from my dispensary and I passed my test easy.

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