Taking a shit is one of the least enjoyable things about the day, it's seriously driving me crazy >go take a shit >go to wipe ass >ass is slippery with shit >keep fucking wiping >still more shit on toilet paper >used up all the toilet paper >get a new one >keep wiping my ass >ass is finally somewhat clean >go to flush the toilet >toilet clogs >unclog the fucking toilet >finally able to leave the fucking bathroom
Why are we still using fucking toilet paper, it's a waste of money, it never gets the job done, toilet constantly fucking clogs. I want to get a fountain thing but I'd have to get a fucking plumber. I could use some tips guys. I wanna be in and out of the bathroom and not have to go through this stupid fucking process
get a bidet or use moist wipes. try having your mommy shave your asshole.
Nathaniel Evans
If you keep wiping and the shit is still smooth that means theres still a log in your ass and you need to push that bitch out. Alternatively you could just hop in the shower after a shit and finger bang your ass clean.
Angel Lopez
Oh my, that's quite a story you've got there.
Charles Bennett
eat more fiber
Dominic Morris
Yo gotta spread your cheeks real wide user so the shit doesnt get on your hairs too much or between your cheeks. Wipe with a few pieces of toilet paper and finish it off with a moist wipe or something wet to clean the remaining shit
Robert Turner
You need more fiber. My turds are so hard I literally cum from shitting.
Aaron Fisher
stop eating greasy ass fast food
Hunter Ramirez
But If i use a moist wipe then it becomes super small and I'm basically getting the tip of my fingers covered in shit
Robert Russell
Buy a bidet attachment for your toilet, best $20 I ever spent. Shits fucking cash, blasts the shit right off my ass and clean wipe every time. Sucks when you have to go back to using normie public toilets and wipe your ass with try tree flesh though.
Adrian Robinson
>greasy ass I see what you did there.
Kevin Davis
I've stopped using toilet paper. After I shit I hop in the shower and rinse off with a shower head that's on a hose. I eat enough fiber so it's a clean spray down. No more wet wipes or TP
Dylan King
I'll go eat a couple bags of popcorn hopefully that'll do the trick
Evan Jones
This, infinitely better
Jack Smith
Holy shit I just might do that, cant you adjust it so it can directly get your ass crack??
Robert Ward
Yeah but that'll take even longer because you have to dry off your legs
Noah Jones
idk op. when you wake up in the middle of the night to unleash a horrible demon from your ass, then you lay your limp body back down to rest in your bed, it's pretty good
Matthew Jackson
You could use a wash cloth or a towel ig but you have to clean in right after. Or you could just take a shower and fingerbang your ass crack with soap like the other user said.
Gavin Watson
This. Best fucking feeling.
Aiden James
But my ass hole is a virgin I've never put my fingers and there and the thought of it scares me, what if I put my fingers in my ass and then I'm gay? Or if blood starts coming out?
Juan Wilson
If you’re constantly plugging the toilet, then you must be a gigantic fat fuck. Stop eating so much, stop eating garbage food, eat more fiber, drink more water. Holy fuck, you should just kill yourself.
Cooper Russell
it's wrong. Honestly from eating too much fast food/shit food and shit sleep. When I work crazy hours at work and dont eat home cooked meals my shit gets like this. It's like another user said, there's still shit in your ass . Even worse then OP said, you finally clean up and 10 minutes later after you bend over or walk around your like "damnit, more shit". Try eating better here and there, otherwise bidet or those stools they use in some country outthere, they say if you keep your knees more elevated and feet on a box you shit easier and gravity does its things better,
Aaron White
If you're not able to deal with shitting, a bodily-function as basic as breathing, then you're pathetic.
Isaac Wood
This isn't something people say, but most people shower in the mornings because that is when they drop a deuce, and they can go and shower off the shit. They wipe the big obvious mess away with the TP but the rest is easier to handle with soap and water. Plus no matter how hard you scrub with dry toilet paper you're never going to feel 'fresh' down there.
Nathaniel Taylor
Good point, honestly I'd just kill myself tbh
Josiah Gutierrez
You don't need to stick your fingers up your asshole faggot, just clean your crack good. Unless you want to see how it feels then you can stick a few fingers up there.
Ryder Richardson
I dont want to feel my fleshy insides dude that's fucking disturbing
Cooper Sanders
Yeah there's an angle and pressure adjustment. Takes a bit getting used to the cold water at first, wish I had a heated one.
Benjamin Cox
Spread those cheeks wide. Use the double flush if you need to. Flush the shit down first, then wipe then flush again. I use toilet paper for the heavy lifting & a few toilet wet wipes to finish. Put some toilet cleaner in the bowl before you shit, so your doings will shift better.
You get less mess and more complete evacuation from squatting to shit. You can get a squat toilet like they have in asia, go shit outdoors etc, or pussy out and get a squatty potty.
When using public restroom, shit on the floor and the fucking minimum wage dipshits need to clean it up! I find it is great stress relief so I often piss directly on the floor too. And sometimes not even in the restroom if I find a good secluded spot on a salesfloor or something. Fucking hilarious.
I got one, i thought it was queer but god damn i cant shit without it. The shit just flies right out of your asshole when your using it.
Alexander King
You’re shitting all wrong, nigga. You need to shove an empty toilet roll up yoass. Fill the roll with shit, pull the roll out and your ass will be pristine.
But seriously, eat some fibre, you stupid amerifat. EVERY DAY. And stay hydrated. That’s just as important as the fibre for your poo-life.
make sure you are leaving forward (abdomen to knees) when shitting
do not sit upright
sitting upright does not put your colon and rectum in the correct alignment for normal shitting
remember, humans had tens of thousands of years of evolution where our bodies developed to shit while squatting
William Sullivan
>Ok Pahjeet whatever you say It is science my newfriend. Your body was evolved to shit while squatting. We did not have toilets during the time of our evolution.
Carter Sullivan
I weigh 190 I'm really not that fat, I drink out of a huge water bottle and sometimes fill it twice a day, I get fiber. I think I'm just a sloppy shitter
I bring it with me if i travel, it's a fucking life changer man.
Gavin Baker
>Mfw no bidet in the U S of A You are on the internet. I don't know if you missed recent developments in the internet, but you can now actually BUY THINGS ONLINE.
I know I probably just blew your mind, right?
Benjamin Price
Just use the outside hose and spray your wide open ass with water in front of the neighborhood.
Connor Ross
SHAVE YA BUMHOLE M8
Nicholas Rodriguez
I have an anus flannel in the shower that I haven't washed for months. I always give it a good rinse, but the idea that someone else I live with uses it without realising sometimes is funny.
Charles White
shave ur ass hairs then and eat more fiber retard
Brody Rodriguez
Yet the majority of people think it's ok to rub some paper over their anuses, smearing the feces like some sort of neanderthal
Nicholas Davis
Try making brown rice a staple. It will tear you a new one.
Bidets are easy to install you fucking moron. Just go buy one. Boom problem solved.
Bentley Jones
Just shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, what's the point in shitting if you're not having fun.
Aiden Moore
>Taking a shit is one of the least enjoyable things about the day I use to think the same until I had kids.
Asher Diaz
PEEPEEPOOPOO
Lincoln Butler
>Just shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, what's the point in shitting if you're not having fun. Waffle Stomping time.
Ryder Wilson
Learn to time it right. When you get a routine going, it's fine
Christian Sullivan
I'n asia every toilet comes with a sprayer (also known as butt gun) because they can't use toilet paper. They have care cleaner assholes than us. I don't know why they aren't mandatory worldwide.
bro it may have already been said cause fuck reading the thread there are like 60 replies. bro wipe somewhat decently then shower, time it out with your showers bro. get the bulk of it with the toilet paper and actually clean your ass in the shower
