What are your worst Sup Forumsathroom stories?

What are your worst Sup Forumsathroom stories?

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I had this really bad diarrhea before my class and I could not hold it in. Ran into the stall and was in there for like a good 20-30 minutes. It wouldn’t stop.

i had diarrhea and when i was done i dropped my phone in the toilet. my phone had shit on it.

I was dealing with a gout flare up a couple years ago. A friend told me to get tart cherry juice and drink it. So I went out and bought a liter of it, not realizing it was really strong. I guess I only needed a few ounces but I drank the entire thing. Ended up shitting my brains out for the next 6 hours or so. Not normal shit either, it was like black tar...super painful.

Shit myself 5 steps outside a mcdonalds bathroom in brooklyn. Once I got inside there was no toilet paper.

I was hanging around at some coke dealer's place, and we were celebrating father's day, so his children were upset that he brought us in. I was completely drunk, and joking around pushed a friend so hard that he hit his head on the floor and started to cry. The house owner's son, who was like 17 yo, asked us to leave, he put me on a chokehold, and the grip was so fucking perfect, I lost almost all control of my muscles and my bowels just went loose. I just couldn't hold it in, I suddenly realized I was being carried to the front door while shit was coming out of my ass non stop. I heard a few shots after that, but my only worry was trying to hold that turd inside my undies

I had some of this really bad diarrhea out at a resturuant and they kept the bathrooms locked and while waiting for the key i shit myself, flooded my shorts and some of it even dripped out onto the floor where I was waiting for the key I was in the bathroom for 30 mins wiping shit from my ass and shorts. my mom kept banging on the door telling me to hurry up

Gallstones for years that the retard doctors failed to diagnose. People that have had both childbirth and gallstones say the gallstones are worse.

Shitty day

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I can only imagine the shit you had to go through to get your phone back

>Once I got inside there was no toilet paper.
Explains why there was no line. Why I stopped visiting NY

This is the faggot from the soyboy video, what a shocker he selfies taking a dump

At a party drunk as fuck went for a shit and fell asleep. Woke up to everyone laughing and pointing at me till one of my friends and his gf closed the bathroom door and stayed with me to make sure I was ok.

WTF?!

I laughed for two minutes and forty-eight seconds straight!

Yeah, that's him all right. Identical likeness.

youtube.com/watch?v=iptUNUFdyas

Does this guy have no decency?

What the fuck is this guy's problem, taking a selfie like that on the toilet?

>Couple weeks ago I had to take shit but I was out at school.
> I NEVER take shits out of my house.
Brief aside I've gone 5 days without taking a shit because I was out at family member's house and I never felt comfortable enough.
>Back to story
>Get to the public restroom at my uni
>Obviously emergency.
>I always pick the emptiest restroom because comfort.
> This is one of the most secluded restrooms on campus.
>Oh shit one of the stalls is occupied.
>Well fuck I don't have the option of turning back now.
>Sit down in the adjacent stall (only two stalls open)
>Hear light laughter in stall next to me.
wdf?
> put my book bag up on the hooks and get ready for #2
>a guy walks out the stall next to me and washes his hands.
>there's still a pair of legs with their pants down next to me.
these niggas.....
>2nd guy walks about about 20 secs after guy 1.

Christ. I just did god's work. Stopped some faggot sex. Phew.

>Never felt more comfortable taking a shit.

Good work, user. Stop them.

Sup Forumsased brap bicture.

Lmao

Shit straight blood on new years eve when I was 14. Looked like a bowl full of kool aid. When I was done I got up and tookmy dog for a walk and never told my parents.

Bruh

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>walking downtown
>see coked out homeless woman
> asks for money
> “I don’t have any”
> Mexican gas station sushi from earlier explodes out of my anus
>pants soaked in rancid diagrams
> homeless woman is enraged
> homeless woman stabs me
>am kill

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>Be me
>Have stomache flu
>Drunk, Sweaty, dizzy
>Asshole twitching
>Heade aching
>Stomache in unbearable pain
>Sit on the toilet
>Spicy hot shits stream out of my ass
>First is one massive log with the texture of fucking tooth paste
>Then I’m practically pissing out of my ass for what feels like hours
>Its just a nonstop stream of liquid, that goes on and on. Not even sure how my body fits that much shit juice in.
>Then suddenly I feel queeze, my throat feels tight
>Oh god no
>I begin to vomit all over the bathroom floor
>Fucking spicy chicken goodness comes right back up
>So here I am spraying liquid diarrhea out one end and flooding my bathroom floor with an ungodly ammount of vomit on the other
>In between a few spurts of piss that burns like acid cause dehydrated
>After a few minutes of absolute shitting puking pissing hell I stand up and attempt to clean myself
>Fart and spray more shit, splat right on the fucking bathroom counter
>Turn around to look at it
>My drunken ass slips into the vomit on the floor
>Smack my head and start bleeding everywhere

Did I mention this was at my girlfriends house?
>Get up and try to unfuck the situation
>Clothes covered in vomit, shit, puke, blood, you name it

Not fun at all.

I am very sorry! Did you try to make your exit from that place, as soon as possible?

>Be me, at wal-mart
>gottashitbad.bin
>Went to bathroom and start checking >stalls.
>First one is plugged with shitty tp on the >seat.
>Second ones clean thank maker.
>Apply paper toilet condom and start >shitting.
>Toilet starts flushing by itself ripping >away my paper toilet condom.
>Continues flushing again and again.
>Each time spraying my ass and gooch >with dirty ass toilet water.
>Finish shitting and go home to disinfect >myself and don't buy anything.

I hate it when automatically flushing toilets do that, non-stop. In fact, I don't like auto-toilets, either. Just give me the ability to control the flushing.

Not mine but my Godfather's story that makes me chuckle everytime I remember it.

>be him like 13-14 at the time
>was going to Mexico by car (we are both spics with family down there so we go frequently on breaks)
>car needs to stop for gas so he goes to take a shit at a truck stop.
>he just got done taking a shit and wiped when a dick appears through a gloryhole.
>he freaks out and smacks it with the shit covered toilet paper.
>he heard "WHAT THE FUCK" as he runs out the bathroom

That's scary. Imagine your uncle or whoever getting chased out of the bathroom by a shitty-dicked guy.

i want to force feed him chili made with my shit then kick his balls so hard they come out his nose

Shart in mart

>be me
>probably like 13 at the time
>i'm a punk ass little cunt bitch
>in taco bell bathroom
>decide to dismantle the oppressive system keeping us common folk down
>whip out my dick and start pissing upwards into the paper towel dispenser
>this piss sponsored by monster energy
>employee walks in on me saturating the roll of paper towels
>we look at eachother
>no words exchanged
>he turns around and leaves
>i exit the bathroom
>order a baja chalupa, 2 doritos volcano tacos, and that spicy fritos burrito with chips and cheese and a side of beans and rice with sour cream with a caramel apple empanada for dessert
>that same employee gives me my food
>2 extra tacos on my plate i didn't pay for
>that'll show them
>workers rise up

Yeesus.

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Sounds like your dad’s idea of a perfect afternoon

God I hate soyboys

I had an internship in brazil for about 4 months and have all kind of fucked up bathroom stories, but this the worst one:

>new years eve, first time drunk for 2 month
>drunk af
>at the end of the night we go sleep at a friends house
>have to take a shit, stumble into bathroom, massive load
>swipe ass after I'm done, flush, business as usual
>suddenly water/shit mix goes up instead of down

btw: I'm from germany where everyone is used to swiping and flushing with the toilet paper. You can basically flush everything because diameter of pipes is at least >10cm. In shithole countries like brazil it's like 4cm, that is why you have to put your disgusting shitloaded toilet paper seperatly in a box that smells like shit too. And we slept at an upperclass apartment, not favela. shithole country.

>Never forgot to think of stupid toilet paper rule, but drunk brain doesn't give a fuck.
>meltdown.jpg
>realize people will know and I might have to pay $$$, like actual $$$
>brain goes full fight or flight
>try to get it out with toilet brush
>nope
>search bath for tools
>nope
>...
>...
>check my hands for open wounds
>fisting that fucking toilet
>getting it all out bit by bit
>at some point it feels like a mission, like a soldier doing shit not because it's good or heroic, but because it has to be done
>throw up at some point
>into the toilet
>whatever keep going

I can't even remember how I finished it because I was so drunk, but it worked out fine.
The next morning people ask me what was going on, I joke about not knowing, we joke about how we all don't know.
But I still feel the urge to throw up right now.
Fucking traumatic.

(Oh and the diameter of your toilet pipes is anti proportional to how much of a shithole your country is. Yes France and USA, you too)

>2013
>hs locker room.
>Use the bathroom stall while nobody is there.
>embarrassed while more people walk in to shower and change.
>Accidentally shit loud.
>Hurry up and gtfo.

>be me
>going to city college for my cosmetology license
>yeah yeah whatever, gay fag etc.
>alcoholic too
>the dark urge rises
>go to restroom right outside class
>fucking bombard the toilet with acidic vodka shits
>my ass is burning so bad i fly into a fit of rage
>rip toilet paper holder off wall
>kick sink hard enough to chip the porcelain
>am in such a fury that i need to puke
>puke all over toilet
>it's now full of my shit and coated in chunks of the carl's jr sunrise sandwich and hash rounds had for breakfast
>this toilet could legit apply for 6 weeks bereavement leave
>puking calms me
>return to class like nothing happened
>half hour later our instructor comes back from the restroom
>states that a key will be required from here on out if someone wants to use the restroom
>:)

heh