I'm an airport security screener

I'm an airport security screener.
Ask me anything.
>inb4 I do not work for the TSA

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how many trannies hiding their dicks are you sorting out?

There aren't as many as you would think. About 1 per month, and most of the times we don't even need to touch them.

>what is the weirdest thing you have found??

Why all your colleagues are assholes?

Why do have to take off my shoes

do u cum on the bagz an shooz?

You ever feel up hot women because you "had an alarm"? Hands up skirts ever?

Airports are legit nowhere near as safe as they want you to believe. Several employees can walk in and out freely without bagchecks/screening.

Some trucks don't get searched when bringing in merch and can go through with basically anything they want through loading docks.

I've found 50 packs of condoms.

No, I was great friends with a buff black man. I can't say his name because unfortunately, he passed away.

So you're not hiding anything in your shoes, such as a weapon.

Please speak clearly.
I don't because other female officers handle that.

Is opt out looked upon as a smart traveler or just a waste of time?

or a sock

Do you get to see women naked on the scanner?

Do you look for drugs, like weed being brought on the plane in large quantities?

Why are your coworkers so retarded. I have had two different people give two different directions saying to do opposite things with the second one yelling angrily at people following the first persons instructions. That is just one example of the idiocy I have seen and I barely fly.

Sorry, power went out. replying now.
A full set of stuff for a BDSM night.
Mainly it's due to having to watch people do dumb things every day. Like thinking that their phone won't alarm though a metal detector because it's turned off, having to argue about shoes that have metal inside but not visible on the outside, having to argue about the myth that "gold doesn't alarm",having to argue with people that open tensors to jump the line and more and more.
Because they either have metal inside, they cover your ankle or can be used as a hidden storage.
I do not understand what you are saying.
No, Males can search males, females can search females.

Are you gay?

That is true, but you forgot to mention the whole thing. The only people that won't do any checks are the police forces that carry a gun. And, yes, some trucks aren't searched, but they are subject to a random search, so when they reach the security check, they don't know if they are going to be searched or not.
It's just a waste of time. For us and for them. Mainly for them, because if you opt out the first thing I think is "is he hiding something?".
No. There is a human figure, like the one on the bathroom, for example, and it simply highlights where an alarm is generated.
No, we only look for forbidden items, like knives, guns, hammers, screwdrivers and such. But if we find some weird stuff we will call the customs.

Airports are huge, and there are many ways to reach a point. It's not uncommon that there are two or more ways to get to your gate. Maybe they just suggested two different ways to get there. The yelling, I will agree, it's pretty rude, but when you spend most of you day saying things and people don't listen to you or they understand what you are saying but won't do it on purpose, then you get pretty nervous. Generally I try not to yell to passengers, but sometimes they really get on your nerves. Sometimes you are just having a bad day and the smallest thing triggers you.
No.

The example was at the back of the TSA line the agent said to not take off your shoes so people obviously did not bother despite the signs saying to do so, but then 100 feet away at the front of the line the agent is yelling at people for not having their shoes off.

Bare in mind that i do now work for the TSA and don't know what kind of procedures are applied in the USA, but i will try to explain.
Some shoes are ok, like normal sneakers. You can keep them. Some shoes must be taken off, like the ones that cover your ankle or if they have a platform that you can hide stuff in. Maybe he said to one passenger that he could keep the shoes and everybody thought that shoes could be kept on. It's normal behavior, it happens the exact same thing when saying to one person to remove their shoes, everybody behind them will begin to take their shoes off.
Also, as you can see, there is a grey area, so maybe an agent could consider them ok, while the other not. As far as the yelling, it's stupid to yell fo no good reason. It only makes people nervous and more prone to do stupid stuff.

Personally I find it just irritates people. No one wants to be here or dealing with this both agent and person trying to get through the checkpoint so be polite and nice to each other and lets get this over with. It isn't personal so why make it that way? Lifes hard enough as it is already.

ever caught a man wearing female undergarments?

Yeah, but, also the agent is a person and, as the passengers get irritated, he could get irritated as well.
I heard that the TSA just yells at everybody, and that's wrong. But some people make you angry. EG:
> Have you got any laptop or tablet inside your bag?
> No
> 1 minute later
> "user, there is a laptop inside this bag, make him take it out"
Another example:
> Could you please take off your bracelets?
> They are gold
> Ok, could you take them off?
> No, because gold doesn't alarm
> Gold is a metal, and that's a metal detector. It will alarm.
> No, it never does. I always keep them.
> Fine, try going trough
*beep*
> (guy at the metal detector) Madam, take off your bracelets.
Proceeds 2 minute talk on how our metal detector are broken and alarm with gold
Another one:
> Could you please take off your shoes?
> Why?
> Because they cover your ankle.
*starts looking at other passengers' shoes"
> And why he doesn't have to take them off? This is an abuse!

Thank god, no. Usually we don't have to check underwear.

thanks for the reply, how come peope are so lazy and cannot follow simple orders for a fast handling so no delays happen?

are they just entitled and think they do not deed to take orders?
are first class TSA checks upper class or the same idiots there?

how i can hide drugs ?

The thing is that there are a lot of myths about the checks, and everybody has a different one in which he firmly believes. Also, some people try to be "smart" and not listen to us, because they will save time doing so. They don't realize that not only they will lose more time doing that, but that they will make everybody lose time.
Some think that they know better than us because "in this other airport thing are done this way", not realizing that even in the same city, two airports might do things differently.
Some are just entitled assholes that won't do a thing because they are better than you.
It's just people. They are this way. Everybody is better than you, knows more than you and is smarter than you. And making them do very specific things is just a pain in the butt.
I do not work with drugs. For us, you can simply keep it in your pocket. But, usually, checks for drugs are in the final airport, not in the starting one.

yeah that is fair I could not work with the general public without getting into a fight at least occasionally due to people being both stupid and rude.

idiots, thanks for taking your time

That's the problem. In a work day you have, at least, 100 of these "small talks" with people.
Do you mean the people or the agents? Because it's not my job to make you go faster. If you take 10 minutes to take off your laptop and liquids because you buried under everything then it's not my fault. And, also, there are signs and monitors everywhere showing what to do before you even reach us, so you could do most of all that by yourself.

the people who are slowing all down of course!

TSA here
gg/tHtGxZ

How do i smuggle weapons into the airport?

Ah, ok. Still, I'm not saying that every colleague of mine is a good worker. There are some people that aren't the best, let's say that. I'm just trying to make people see things from the other side.
Into the airport, no problem, there are no checks. After the checks, you just can't, whiteout the aid of a lot of luck.

Why do we waste money on the TSA

'Murrica. Elsewhere doesn't work that way. Private agencies will do the work, not government founded ones. So, they have to work well, because money won't be earned in any case, like it happens with the TSA.

What are the team dynamics and culture like? It seems like a comfy job, one of the better airport roles

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It's the best paid job in the airport, second only to the air traffic controllers, but also the one with the most responsibilities. It's a pretty funny and chill job, if you like your colleagues.

Why the fuck did they pat down my left ankle and only my left fucking ankle while my shoes were off? Fucking perverts.

Maybe they say something weird in your socks and they wanted to check. That's it.

*Saw, not say.

Yeah because privatization has worked oh so well in the past. Just look at Chicago parking meters as an example.

I do not live in Chicago. But what I know is that we don't have 100 thousands of filings for stolen goods against us each year.