I'll give you 100 million dollars if you accept my challenge. You have to survive for 5 minutes in a cage against a wild gorilla. You don't have to kill it, just survive and the gorilla will be tazed down when the time is up. You are given one year to prepare for the fight. All your training expenses will be paid for, any training-related request will be provided. The gorilla will be conditioned to hate you. It will also be roided up after juicing for the whole year so it's even more angry and stronger.
You can use drugs to enhance your performance. You enter the cage in boxing shorts and can pick one of the following: One-handed sword + shield Spear + leather full-body armor Katana
Of course.. a shield+sword or a spear, I'd do it right now. It all sounded crazy until you said that dude, then it became 0% challenging.. ehat is wrong with you
Ethan Kelly
Seduce the gorilla
Benjamin Wilson
Yes
Juan Morgan
i'd hang out in all-black comedy clubs. steal jokes like carlos mendez entertain gorilla with my fire 5-minute set. profit
Hudson Clark
This, stab this fucker with a spear at full force and thats it
i've been secretly training with a spear since i saw 300.
Anthony Myers
I don't need a year, I'll do it right now. All you have to do is sit down and not make eye contact
Benjamin Lopez
First off I would not accept. second a shield would be absolutely useless against something that much stronger than you, It would yank it out of your hand. Assuming the katana is the best weapon out of the 3 "don't know about swords" it would be your best bet to try and stab it if/when it charges you, try and cut/injure its hands off he can't grab you. Also is this gorilla being provoked to attack you before this because I think they are generally kind of chill unless you piss them off.
Camden Ward
Just stand still lamo, gorllia won't do shit.
Lucas Murphy
>Also is this gorilla being provoked to attack you before this >The gorilla will be conditioned to hate you.
Gorilla is so strong it can grab the shield and rip it off with your entire arm in one motion, assuming the straps can withstand such force.
Elijah Hernandez
m8 it takes a minute or so to bleed out. there are gore threads all the time here. All it's going to know until it's unconscious is that guy hurt my chest and Im going to fucking kill him for it. wouldnt do it, I might consider it if my family got to keep the money.
Dominic White
>The gorilla will be conditioned to hate you You're dead Jim.
Mason Jenkins
keep your armor. enter cage. spear the thing in the throat as it charges you.
joe rogan is a fucking retard.
Jordan Perez
Sure I‘ll take the spear Joe big is the cage we are fighting in ? Are their options for him to go on the high ground like trees or shit like that ? For sure we all would be killed but it’s worth the shot You would also never win such a fight in a fair close quarters combat situation one hit from the ape and your done
John Hill
Spear would be the worst weapon unless you can kill shot it in 1 try. You need something you can attack with and not get stuck in the gorilla so you can attack again. And if you attack it and don't kill it quick you are not leaving in good condition
Jack Torres
Hhmmm yesss
Jose Davis
i take the sword + shield combo i take whatever old rusty sword you have but the shield should be 1cm thick, 5meters high, 5meter wide and curved, with 0,5meter long spikes on it.
>spear would be the worst Fucking mongoloid, you know what humans hunted with for thousands of years before firearms? It wasn’t swords, ill tell you that. Spears and javelins. Bows too but they were shit for a long time.
Wyatt Lewis
winner
Caleb Harris
I'd give you 3 seconds until that gorilla is using your faggy spiky shield to hold you down and bite your fingers/cock off
Ian Martinez
Hunting squirrels with sticks and being locked in a cage with a pissed gorilla that you cant run away from are completely different things
Samuel Lopez
I would spend a year training to hit a moving, gorilla shaped, target in the head with a spear.
Lincoln Nelson
Spear, loincloth, and the blessing of Odin as I drive the spear through that gorilla's sternum and simply impale him in such a way that it can't get closer. Then I wait for it to bleed out, as it writhes and rends its own wound larger for me.
Michael Howard
One handed sword and shield would be fine I guess. I can through the shield at the gorilla, gain momentum and slay the beast
Jordan Cook
Joe Rogan is a fuckin moron.
Grayson Rivera
make it a big steel ball with spikes then. faggot gorilla goes crazy while i masturbate to his screams inside my ballshield
Do your actually believe that you would stand a chance just because you have a weapon and somesort of "defence"? A gorilla can lift up to 1800lb, one strike. it would just take one strike that connects and your bones would brake into tiny bits. that leather would just prevent that things 500+ psi bite to go through your meat for maybe a second. that thing could even decide to tank that spear/sword of yours with its 600lb, juiced bodymass and crush you just by taking a seat on your puny torso. >0% challenging dude, just stfu and finish your froot loops
Dylan Moore
I would just go in with tear gas, a Gun probably a 7,62 or a .50 cal and some bananas too keep him calm
Matthew Morales
Do people even read things they are responding to? Or they just look at 3 words and compile answers to life and everything right away?
Samuel Parker
A lot of people in this thread would die a painful death. Armor is useless, so is the shield, they both protect against sharp objects not against a fucking full force body slam from a gorilla. The weapons give you a chance, but you only have one. The gorilla would charge you. If you manage to hit the gorilla well you can kill it, but in most cases you'll just wound it and when driven by rage it will kill you long before it is weakened by pain/bleeding.
Nicholas Gutierrez
I'll spend the year training my ass to take bigger and bigger objects, eventually taking a Taurus Judge and a handful of .454 Casull rounds.
this kills the gorilla
But, to stick with your choice of weapons, spear would be best. Shortsword and shield would be best against humans, and the katana is only useful if you're actually trained with one, but the spear has considerable reach, which I would need to keep it at bay, and the armor is at least helpful should I get knocked around.
This. I'd just kneel down and let the gorilla fuck me
Lincoln Rodriguez
This
James Bell
make yourself look weak, act like a female gorilla, stab in the chest with Pretty Metal Shiny. Dont React, keep acting like female gorilla and show pussy, stab again in the same area like a jigsaw and swirl it around. Take long katana and Spin like a cyclone if all else fails proceed to pee like a female and spin attack.
Jacob Foster
I would suck his dick. this drains his energy and makes him change his perception of me. then cuddle a bit in his hairy gamy arms.
Depending on the size of the cage, literally just roll out of it's way for 5 minutes. Those things are fast but not agile, also I doubt it could give chase for a sustained five minutes, I dont exactly se videos of these faggots running around.
Michael Brooks
Gorilla can sprint faster than human and can use all 4 extremities to adjust for your rolls. Game over.
