Be Croatian American diaspora

>be Croatian American diaspora
>Want Croatian dual citizenship
>Contact consulate
>You need birth certificate, documents from parents, written biography
>Ok sure
>Also you need to be a member of a Croatian club for a while, you need to speak the language fluently we will also quiz you on the history


And this is why the jews always win. You simply have to prove you are a Jew and they will pay to fly you to Israel. Meanwhile this small country of 4 million that produces nothing has tough immigration requirements as bad as the US. Why?

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Because they just simply do. If you're too retarded to learn another language then you should stay in the US and have no sense of cultural identity whatsoever. Remember, you're an "American" ;^)

Because we don't want people who aren't serious. Since anyone who emigrates is comiting an act of treason against his country a little bit of discomfort in obtaining your papers is nothing.

We are not under any circumstances obliged to drop on our knees and make it easy for you, Mr Rich American Expat

>Also you need to be a member of a Croatian club for a while
This part is interesting.

I like both countries. Why not both?

See Mr. Condescending the problem here is Croatia is a small country hemorrhaging thought power. Even long time Croats leave and never come back since you don't have any opportunity there. They should jump on the opportunity for the opposite at least for the time being until their country stabilizes. Your unfounded arrogant xenophobia is a major issue with the country today

It produced your worthless ass, pice of shit.

>Worthless

No I do very well and I love both countries. I am not fluent in Croatian because I literally have no opportunity to use it here and no one hosts classes on it but continue being irrationally butthurt.

>Croatia
Dont you mean Serbia?

Reading through your posts, I can see you know nithing about croatia.
You're gonna ace that test m8

Fuck off with your dual citizen nonsense.

I don't want Croafag citizenship. They're all crooks over there.

Prove it.

>be diaspora
>have no idea what the fuck is going on in the country
>still get to vote for whoever my 80 year old grandpa tells me to
every time

You need to know the language because it is not 'friendly" towards foreigners, e.g. you will find that many things are not translated and it doesn't help that an average middle-age person can barely understand a simple english sentence.
The Croatian history is shit, it's also one of the worst, if not the worst, subjects I had to endure through in school. So, have fun with that.
I honestly don't know what the deal with the 'clubs' is. What do they even mean by a "Croatian club"?

What's a croatian club, am I missing something? Also if you have no prior contact with the language, just give up, you wont learn it any time soon.

How do you know that I said nothing about the country. In 3 months maybe I an get myself up to speed for the language and history but what do I do about the club? I live in a part of the US where when I explain to people I have Croatian heritage they just look at me blindly so I just say I'm Italian now. There are no Croatian "clubs" anywhere? What the fuck o I do?

Prove what?

>he isn't a member of a Croatian club

>OP just proving the meme that Burgers think they are European
>H-H-hey guys I'm 1/8 German 1/8 French 1/4 Scottish 1/16 Czech 3/16 Seedish. I'm just like you guys!
Harsh reality burger - if you don't speak the language and latent part of the culture, you're not fucking Croat. Fuck off back to McDonalds.

Croatian club like a group that deals with something Croatian. Like a Croatian art club or Croatian sports club I dunno. We don't have that shit here. If you guys help me I'll help you come here illegally.

because otherwise they'd get flooded by shitskins who don't want to integrate

>Frenchie getting irrationally butthurt at Americans on behalf of other countries
every time

Both my parents were born there it's the only reason I have a shot. Also I know the language but terribly since I don't use it much. It isn't a widely used language even my Russian coworkers laugh at it and call it a bastardization of their language.

>Tfw croatian mexican
>tfw you have Croat passport and dual citizenship
>at a croatian club right now after church
Feels good brate.

Jesus, just because you lost the primaries doesn't mean you have to leave the country, Governor Kasich.

I like how all these Europeans in this thread are condescendingly lecturing me about this without a hint of irony. Maybe is should fly to Syria and then I can havey puck of whatever country to go to for free.

>croatian art club or croatian sports club
kek, better start learning the folk dance boi, its the only kind of club that is bound to exist.

The language learning is doable, but as any slavic language it'll be hard for an english-speaking person. If a Canadian can just randomly hop from canada to Croatia, barely know how to form a sentence and become a prime minister, I'm sure you'll do just fine.
One other classmate I had was born in Canada as well and was taught SLIGHT Croatian by his parents, they moved back in and he mostly learned the language by using it. In a year, you pretty much couldn't tell he's foreign

>huur though immigration is stupid an xenophobic! reeeeee why don't they let me in! RACISTS!
Is it your first day here?

My god you are retarded and don't have slightest idea of Croatian history. I don't know much about Croatia myself but it's common knowledge that Croatia and whole of Balkans was hell for most of recorded history since Rome. It had to defend against Turks, Italians, Austrians and had lots and lots of infighting. People there had to literally fight fists and teeth for their right to the land and to survive. You ancestors were one of fucking pussies that chose to run like a cowards instead of standing beside their brothers and sister in their struggle for freedom and survival. Your ancestors were betrayers! And now, when situation has stabilized and there is no imminent danger you think you can chose come back and be greeted as a brother?! You are son of fucking traitors! I bet if I tried to emigrate there, locals would be friendler to me than to you, because your bloodline already proved you can't be counted upon and if things get serious (as they very well might) you will just chuck your tail between your legs and run to your beloved america.

People here don't have your fucking "get rich" mindset, they have "we need to be strong to surivive" mindset. Because they had to to survive.

>we will also quiz you on the history
that should be short

he's right though. This country is half Bosnian now

I have this level of education though and when I used to spend my summers there I would become fluent. I just haven't been in about 5 years because post college it's tough to get time to go there. My sister did that folk dance shit god damn I don't want to do that maybe I can start a soccer club or something get hipsters to join and swear it's a Croatian only thing.

>bastardization of russian
All slav languages are similiar and they are extremely hard to learn.

> I just say I'm Italian now
You're a disgrace to your parents.

We still get flooded due to Merkel, but hopefully they'll jut leave when they see how few gibs they get here and how everyone hates non-whites.

Join a soccer club faggot in Canada we have shit ton of cultura shit such as Kolo,nogomet and church. At a croatian place right now desu very nice.

At least our history isn't recorded in Turkish.

Everything I am condescendingly being told Europeans aren't actually applying to themselves though is my point. Also I have 5 Croatian relatives that came here illegally and don't speak English so I dunno it's funny hearing me be attacked for this.

Fuck off! Why should you get citizenship if you don't even speak the fucking language or know nothing about the country's history?

Tldr

t. Abdul

I dunno why do you give citizenship to shitskins for literally the same reason? At least I'm white.

I'm going to Croatia soon if my area keeps being flooded I will sow my half mexican seed

>I like both countries. Why not both?

with that mindset, i understand why croats dont want you back. you have no loyalty, no honor.

you want to go to croatia now, but when things get tough in croatia, you will instantly betray croatia and go running back to america.

Should have called back in 1991 pretty much everybody could get a Croatian citizenship. Everybody I know from Bosnia has one.

It'd the opposite Hanz, the US is shit so I want to go to Croatia. If the country gets invaded by Russians or Turks while I am there so be it I'll join the army.

this is a lot of projecting you're doing. Why are western Europeans so hostile to white Americans, holy fuck.

>that should be short
you wish. I wish it too

>I don't want to do that
learn to sing youtube.com/watch?v=HMATdAVEoI0

in short, the history is a bunch of buttfucking and passing around croatia's land

>venice
>hungary
>habsburg monarchy
>ottomans
>yugoslavia
>ndh
>yugoslavia

it's a fucking mess that I still don't understand to this day

I don't get it. I'm not asking for a red carpet to be rolled out and I know if I live there I can't act like a nigger or spic and demand everyone speak American. I do have a lot of family there and can speak some. It's mainly the club thing that annoys me because where I live these are nonexistent. Sup Forums and their flag elitism ruined a lot of discussion on these boards and it just trickles down to here.

Can't you come without citizenship, I think your case would be easily approved in Croatia if you live/work here (good luck with finding work, though)

Yeah, it's shit m8.

>If you guys help me I'll help you come here illegally.
Fuck off you Balkan piece of shit, we dont want your kind over here!

Nobody here would like to live in a nigger-ruled country.

I'm a computer programmer which thankfully is language agnostic. What is the market there like for that? All my cousins do over there is dig ditches or are farmers.

Make a demand at the French embassy, it delivers French papers to anyone in the universe. And without verifications ! Certainly it's not the dual citizenship that you would like, but it will be easier...

>croatia's land

Meanwhile in the real world I have tons of cousins here illegally and tons more inquiring to me if I can help them. There are Croatian areas in NY and Ohio filled to the brim with illegals. There is a church in NY if you contact as a Croatian they will help you come illegally.

You can't live here without the language and I doubt you'd get work without the language, the market is horrible and the state is still half-socialist.

It's because they see their countrymen just as people that speak the same language of them, that's why they're going to shit. imo if a Polish-American has a Polish surname, looks like a Pole, and has ancestors that defended Poland alongside mine through the centuries I don't see how they are any less of a Pole than me, even if they don't speak the language. Fuck this "horses born in garages are cars" leftist shit.

Serb bro is the citizenship process for you any easier and can I just sent I'm Serbian and not Croatian and get citizenship with you guys? Your team sound more rational at this point.

SDP will win the election join a coup for Hasanbegovic to be dictator then you can live peacefully

Not a member of a Croatian fraternal union lodge

give up pussy

Maybe I should try to get polish citizenship. I visited Szczecin recently and liked it.

>the US is shit so I want to go to Croatia
lol

if you're still serious then first save up money, as much as you can. You can apply to a larger bank or something, it can be pretty comfy and a lot of fun depending in which section you end up. Larger companies are as close to govt departments as you can get, and you do jack shit there for an above average paycheck
Lately, a lot of IT/programming job positions opened up in many companies
moj-posao.net/Poslovi/11/IT-telekomunikacije/

Also thanks for the offer, but USA doesn't seem as much of a land of opportunity as it did in the past

he better get used to calling it if he wants to pass that quiz

I support Trump and hate illegals, they're the scum of the earth.

kek

>Serbia
>lost against a country half its size without any armaments

Sranje..

Pay back the denbts Serbia still waiting for my JugoBanka & PBS money.

>tfw Member of The Croatian Club
>Hanging out with my club mates every weekend playing golf and pin a knife on the shqiptar
>Driving around Dubrovnik in our exotic cars
>Drinking finest Rakija listening to Mitar Miric
You're missing out OP

I have 100k in the bank and $220,000 property I own that I could sell plus my dad has two houses there one in Zadar and one in Umag so I have a opportunity. The only thing holding me back is this citizenship and also I fucked this girl in Zadar years ago and my cousin said later on she became pregnant and it might be mine how do Croatian laws work about that? Can she get money from me?

>listening to Mitar Miric
kys Rakiticu

To keep out the lying shitskins

>Mitar Miric

Miric a shit

>mitar miric
kys

I've helped set up Oliver Dragojevic US tour when he played here and drank with him does that help my Croatian cred?

I have the same problem to get into England. I am 100% anglo saxon. My surname is that of large scottish clan. Both my grandfathers fought for the British Royal Navy during the second world war and both my great grandparents were high up employees of the British railway company responsible for building railway lines in South Africa and Rhodesia.

Still cannot get a citizenship.

Do they want you to join an English Club also? If so that's retarded.

Polish citizenship is pretty easy to obtain by blood. Polish-Americans without citizenship travelling here actually used to have problems with the Polish government literally just claiming them as citizens when they arrived.
>Poland has been enforcing with varying stringency its claims to citizenship allegiance from descendants of Polish emigrants and from recent refugees from Polish Communism who became naturalized in other countries. Under a particularly strict enforcement policy, named by the Polish expatriate community the "passport trap", citizens of the United States, Canada, and Australia were prevented from leaving Poland until they obtain a Polish passport.[10] The governments of the United States and Canada have issued travel warnings for Poland, still in effect in February 2007, to those "who are or can be claimed as Polish citizens"[11] that they are required to "enter and exit Poland on a Polish passport" and will not be "allowed to leave Poland until a new Polish passport has been obtained".[7]
>Travellers to Poland who have Polish ancestors are advised to obtain in writing a statement from a Polish Consulate as to whether or not they will face any obligations in Poland, such as military service, taxation, or the requirement to obtain a Polish passport.[10]
You cannot escape from Polishness.

The communist have been fucking diaspora for 90 years sorry m8.The history part isnt hard and if you have a club in your town just enrole the language part is tough do.

kek, I wouldn't know but also don't see how it's an issue.
Just run back to USA if she finds you.
The main point of saving up money is that it's a nice country to live in if you're rich.
Save up money -> work something stupid to earn pension -> live without any care for the rest of your life
It's what germans do

oh yes, especially if you'll be going to the coast.
In case you do go to Zadar, make sure to buy some Dinamo ZG T-shirts, scarfs, flags and whatever else you can find. People love that shit there

Dunno, possibly if it's proven yours, there's a bigger possibility of her family beating the shit out of you, though.

It helps only your cred with him, nobody cares here.
If you want the citizenship, come here and work for a living, as I said previously.
I think you shouldn't have a problem since your parents are Croats.
Also Zadar is, apart from Zagreb, the fastest developing city in Croatia.

No, my grandparents never registered my birth certificate at the British embassy so they wont even review my claim.

But I'm Hajduk fan......

we have it same here so what. you are not croatian american. you cant even speak language and know nothing about history. you are just american.

then ur shit

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Tornado Zadar was pretty based during the late 90s and early 00s

Proklet bio na bozic 2010¿¿¡¡¿!!!!

So you're into masochism?
I know that feel, bro

Faggot I was taught the language I just never have many opportunities to use it here how many times do I have to say this? If you speak anything other than English or Spanish chances are you won't get much practice on it in the US. I have language CDs but that's not the same. The only time my old man speaks Croatian is when he curses or wants to talk shit about people in public. When I was a kid and the police came because they were inspecting the complex over a robbery unrelated to us he told me in Croatian to go hide his guns. That's the extent to what I use it.

they don't understand that in order to bring along our heritage with us, we crated clubs, parks, etc...
we didn't just wholesale turn american or canadian or w/e when we left croatia. We assimilate fine, but many of us will never fully integrate or become whitewashed.

How can someone whose parents fled as a result of persecution and had little to no chance of being fully immersed in croatian culture expected to be fully fluent in the culture?

I use the wrong words once in a while in croatian and people laugh at me calling me a dumb canadian.

Ayy lamao marjane marjane ca heroin ne pucas.

>Also you need to be a member of a Croatian club for a while
Whoa... isn't this too much turbo folk loving of Croatia?

you are not entitled to croatian citizenship. if you rly want it then try harder. fuck off cunt.

croats don't understand that knowing another language other than english is seen as a disability in america

Go live in Rijeka trust me ;^}

folklore clubs are the biggest/most prominent but there still are many sports clubs

If any of your parents have a croatian passport go the the embassy they sign piece of paper you get your citizenship.

That's amazing
>implying any of this is bad

Kill yourself faggot I don't think the language thing or history thing is irrational but the club thing is. What if I lved in fucking Nigeria you think there are any Croatian clubs there?

>The only time my old man speaks Croatian is when he curses or wants to talk shit about people in public
oh man I can already imagine it
and as I already said, you need to come down here and have proper conversations, so either force your parents to talk to you in Croatian, or simply come for a month or two long "vacation" and try it.
You need the language. Noone other than classy hotel staff know english properly

where?

then your aprents should not be coalburners and racetraitors. you dont want such people back.

thats becuase you croats are just retarded slovenians which are best of south slavs.

Midland right now I usually go to Norval or Missisauga park though.

t. Bohemian Croatian nationality law expert