I got a big matzo ball of a situation hanging here, fellas. Please, you have to help me.
One of my longtime closest friends has suddenly started dropping massive hints that she wants to get with me. She is also particularly attractive. The problem (among others) is that her libido is off the fucking chain; meanwhile I'm secretly a virgin who sucks so much at kissing that I still clank teeth together.
How the hell do I stop this from blowing up in my face and ruining the friendship, guys?
tldr
just tell your friend your worries. If she is a good friend she'll understand, and hopefully you'll have a sweet girl be gentle on you for your first time. It's amazing how often honesty works my friend.
>>Friendship
Go balls deep. pull out before you squirt. Let it relax. repeat. Fuck her brains out.
I was a virgin until I was 26. Told the girl beforehand. We had sex 3 times that night and very frequently after that while we were dating.
Fuck her and tell her you don’t actually want a serious relationship with her, keep her as your human flesh light AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING COWARD
just talk to her and give it a go dude. I've found that men and women can't really be platonic friends unless they've tried things and they dont work. And just think, a friend taking your vcard is better than some random bitch you dont know or care about.
OP want puss and how do
hot friend want sex but i virgin so prob bad idea and don't want ruin friendship
That seems like really good advice, but she hasn't technically outright told me her intentions straightforward yet, so I can't rightly confront her with that response until she does.
You are drastically underestimating both the constant state of horny this gal lives in and my ability to not limp the hell out.
How good were you with at least kissing before that?
>can't be platonic friends
But I thought that's what we were for the past six or seven years. I always recognized from an objective standpoint that she's attractive, but never considered her for myself before this.
Sounds like a stellar way to lose one of my closest friends.
if she's such a good friend just talk to her about it. Say you've noticed some signs and ask her how she feels about you. If you are really good friends it sounds like something you need to talk about. If you are wrong and she isn't into you, then at least you know and it may be a little awkward, it'll just end up as something funny later on. If not, who knows, this may end up being great for you dude. If you are already friends, that means you get along, and believe me, a big part of any relationship is that. This may just end up being an awesome experience for you both. Honestly talking to her about it is the only real way forward. If you ask and she says she is into you, or maybe hesitates to say anything along those lines, maybe just tell her that you find her attractive too, but due to your lack of experience you are worried about how things will go. Believe me man, opening up like that will help no matter what. Women like that kind of honesty.
Nicee! one Elon Musky..
be honest and tell her youre a virgin and you want her to blow your fucking mind for your first time and you want her to teach you how to properly dick her down like she deserves
This is far and away leagues better advice than I actually expected to get from anyone here. Thank you, chief.
Still pretty worried even broaching this will make everything insanely awkward, but I don't really have a bunch options other than trying to ignore her hints, and she's already caught on to that anyway.
Wait, what if she wants a full on romantic relationship? Does this advice cover that or does it just work exclusively for if she wants sex? God damn this is a mess.
... by the way, before anyone excuses me of avatarfagging, for the record, I'm just using these pics because I ain't gonna post the real gal's pictures, and the character reminds me of her.
This
love is about forgiveness. If she doesn't forgive you fpr who you are it is just a crush.
>How good were you with at least kissing before that?
Not good, I but not horrible I guess. We had been making out before we actually slept together for a couple days. Honestly it comes pretty naturally. Have a couple drinks before.
Kinda concerned about destroying the obvious expectation she's built up that I know fucking anything about physical intimacy. Like, we hung out in a group the night before last and she was blatantly complimenting my ass for like ten minutes. And that's just one example.
I mean, I'm not saying you're wrong, because you are right and I don't dispute that, but the larger issue is that having known her so long I've obviously been witness to her being in relationships, which has taught me one truth:
although we get along absolutely splendidly as friends, there is a consistent track record of how she has handled her role in her various romantic relationships, and lemme tell you, it seems like a fucking nightmare to deal with.
Again, she's great, easily the closest female friend I've got, but unless she suddenly does a complete 180 spin on what she's always wanted from a longterm boyfriend, we would clash so god damn hard it ain't even funny.
I have a stomach thing, can't drink. I guess I could smoke, though.
That's what I did my first time and that chick taught me everything I needed to know from then on
If she is as close as friend as you say, you be straight forward with her. Let her know you're new to the game and that if she wants to play game she's gonna' have to show you how it's played. Girls always want to be the ones in control and determine the pace they go at, so just go how she does. Who knows, maybe she'll wake up your inner rock star. If the friendship flops because she wanted to ride some bone then that's entirely on her, not you, and you will have learned something important about your friend that could have caused you trouble later on. Either way, it's a win-win. Just go with it, my dude.
lern 2 eat pussy
She'll be hanging from your pinky.
dawg you do realize that she'd have to put up with god knows how many terrible attempts before I got even remotely alright at it, right? I assume, anyway. Obviously I don't know how hard it is, but I've heard it's hard.
Then I guess fingers crossed she doesn't want an actual relationship? That'd fuck things up quick.
This is exceptionally good advice that I'm copypasting in a notepad. However, with that said, if she just wants to bone, that's one thing, but if she's wants a relationship than I am well and truly royally fucked because that wouldn't work between us.
Do it you'll regret it when you're older. And you will get older and start to take stock of your life. Go for it man. Most friendships end anyways and a good friend can make the best lover.
>Do it you'll regret it when you're older
LOL. But don't worry I get what you mean though.
Fucking bizarre that Sup Forums of all places actually changed my mind from "how do I get out of this" to "fuck it let's go". Jesus Christ I hope y'all aren't wrong.
Is she a patient person? In my experience, most girls are understanding. Everybody's body is different and it takes a couple tries to get used to what some people like or don't like. Would she be willing to let you fumble through this shit until you get it right? Would she help you through it or get frusturated?
G
I wouldn't define her as especially patient, no.
No way to know how that translates into hypothetical sex between us, but yeah.
What I can say for sure is that, because she has a thin filter with how she talks, I've heard more than a fair share over the years about what she's been up to in the bed, so I guess my only hope in this totally make-believe situation is that she'd continue to be honest to a fault, like "yeah, no, do it like this, dummy". I dunno.
Imo communication is key man. In and out of the bedroom. Be upfront about what signals you're getting, be upfront about your concerns, show love and show understanding. What's your conversation flowchart? You need to know what to say if she says she's interested, and an escape / deflection if she's not interested is especially needed if you want to make this not awkward.
That's a good idea. I'll write down some responses tomorrow for whether it's a yes or a no or a maybe and hopefully a tolerable, not super embarrassing explanation as to why I have been blatantly ignoring her hints.
What to say about the prospect of a relationship (if that's what she wants), I have no idea. That's the immediate concern, because how are you supposed to tell somebody "Oh, you want to have sex and be a full-on couple now? Yeah, I think that second thing is a terrible idea for both of us for like eighty reasons, but I'm still down to bang the shit out of you." That sounds so fucking trashy, what the ass.
Don't write down responses / memorize a script, you just want a general idea of what points you want to get across and make sure to hit those points.
Be honest with her, point out what you've seen from her in her past relationships, ask her if she recognized those points as well, ask her opinion on them, ask if she's worked / plan to work on those issues, etc. If things don't look good, decide how you want to handle that before the conversation happens.
G
You should be a councilor or some shit, guy. This is some wise shit you're talking.
Alright so what about this:
what if I think this whole thing over and I realize that it isn't just her way of handling boyfriends that puts me off the prospect, but also that I'm kind of just at a point in life where I've been primarily focusing on my career, and it would be unfair of me to enter into a relationship while knowing that I can't properly satisfy the emotional needs she would rightfully expect from a significant other.
I mean, does that shut all aspects of the entire operation down, or what?
be like hey bitch give me succ. the bitches love that shit. jk.
just tell her the truth.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
How do u know u chalian teeth if u don't practice. Tell her you're a virgin she can fix that.
I mean this genuinely, not being sarcastic, this is a real question: How the heck am I supposed to practice something that requires another person without disappointing that person?
I've made a lot of mistakes and fucked up a lot of friendships, wisdom comes with the territory.
That's a valid point, but don't feel top proud of yourself for being able to recognize that. It's never an easy comfortable time to jump into a committed relationship anymore, this isn't high school. Everybody is busy, everybody has other shit going on. If you /want/ a relationship, you have to put in the work, There's no easy way anymore, big boys and big girls take more work to develop and sustain deep emotional connections with. Woo I'm on one tonight.
G
yes the advice covers full on relationship. You are obviously young, don't decide what something will be before it even starts. Just give it a try. Any kind of relationship needs communication. And any kind of experience is good for you. You may end up having a crazy whirlwind romance with the girl, you may just end up fuckbuddies, you may try it and it doesnt work, you may be reading teh situation wrong. The point is don't go trying to predict any of this stuff. Just talk to the girl and see where things go from there. Figure out what you want together.
If you're fucking avatarfagging as Mina you are definitely a secret tranny. You don't want to fuck your friend because you don't like your peepee
If you read what I said you would see I already pointed out why I was posting some mina pictures
Oh, yeah, I'm not trying to act like I'm the master of all internal logic, I'm just saying. She grew up with a lot of messed up shit and honestly kind of sucks at actually communicating as a result, and there have been a number of times where I've had to, like, walk her through her own emotions to get to the logical conclusion of whatever situation. That's just me being a good friend, but I don't like the idea of being her full-time therapist for all the baggage. Plus she texts like crazy, which is fine as a friend because I can just ignore it when I'm busy or don't feel like talking, but as a BF that kind of behavior becomes unacceptable.
Never say never and all that, sure, but I have the feeling (and I could be wrong) that she's searching for a long, committed relationship, and I don't have the mental wherewithal to handle that.
My bad if I came off like I think I know everything, that was not my intent. All I mean to say is that I (think) I can reliably handle how to respond to any potential outcome of this, with the exception of the possibility of her wanting to establish a longterm relationship.
I do not have the mental wherewithal to make that kind of commitment right now (and on top of that, as you said, I am obviously young), especially with someone who, while still lovely in many ways, I have come to know over the years to be very high maintenance. Also, forgot to mention this, it's only been a couple months since she got dumped by the guy she'd been seeing for 3+ years, so I also don't know if she's in a place to make that commitment either. And yet, suggesting something casual makes me look like a scumbag.
I don't have time for your degeneracy, el trapo
then dont suggest anything. As i said you dont have to decide what something is at the start. Things usually start off casual, you both get to decide where it goes from there. If you think things arent working out, just say so, thats how these things work. The main point im trying to make is just be open to things. Don't try to plan for every contingency, just see how things are going and how you feel about them. Work it out as you go. You are already getting way too far ahead of yourself. And about the career thing. That's no reason to not try things with someone. You need to have balance in life, and part of that is developing your personal skills. Tbh getting in a relationship probably can't be bad for your career.
Whatever you say, hauss.
It's abundantly clear you have more first hand experience with this kind of thing and thus a wider view, so I'll differ to your judgment on the matter and hope things turn out alright; y'know, try to feel for the right moment to acknowledge her hints and work that out. See where the cards fall.
At the end of the day I just don't want to lose my friend. I already lost one female friend to this kind of bullshit because she got so turned off by my inexperience, and I'd rather not repeat that. But maybe I'm just being selfish and immature in that desire.
The career thing, man, I don't know, I spend the heaviest percentage of my free time with that stuff, so the thought of splitting that focus into the effort it takes to manage a relationship, I don't know, but I suppose that's not something you can rightly answer. That's just something to hash out with her if the time ever comes, "can you deal with this" and all that.
In any case, I really, seriously appreciate all your advice.
thats it dude, if things do get serious and she can't handle the career focus, she isnt the right one. But as I said, you don't know how things are going to go right now, just deal with things as they come up. Anyways bro, good luck with your friend, as long as you are honest with her im sure you'll do just fine.
Thanks again, dude.
I haven't a clue what your own story is, but I wish you the best of luck in it, too.