I am the Oracle of Kek

I am the Oracle of Kek.
>Ask me your questions and I will devine an answer for you

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Will I keep my job during the lay-off this month?

That is a product of your actions. Have you been a good boy?

What happened to your eyes, bro?

Without eyes to see, the mind is free. My eyes were removed in my innotiation into the college of oracles. I type with speach to text

Oh wise and mercifull Oracke!
Will Pilates or kettle bells alliviate my lower back problems ?

are you gonna get coal for Christmas this year?

Never underestimate the powers of proper nutrition. Kettle bell or palatis never saved a starving man.
That being said, kettlebell workouts are a good strain, and worth considering.
Anything that causes you to break a sweat is good for your cardiovascular system, which is great for all other systems in your body. Breathing heavy from excersize also works your respitory system. All parts of the body are connected, and good diet coupled with proper sleep and excersize will fix many ailments of the body. Especially if you focus on strengthening your lower back. I would recommend planks (holding push up position for 20 seconds in sets of 10)

I am on neither list. I sit in my hut awaiting questions.
Santa does not come here.

Should I finish college, oh wise oracle. I constantly feel like I'm going to regret my decision, but I also know I'm not old enough or experienced/knowledgeable enough to start my own business. Will it be worth it?

Not op. But if you want to start a business, put everything on the line, max your credit cards, be young. It will suck and you'll fail, but do it anyway. You'll never regret it.

College is only useful to you if there are careers in your field of study.
If you are in arts and humanities, such as history or classical studies, you'll find strife looking for work.

On the other hand, STEM or engineering / skilled trades are very lucrative industries.

Ultimately, this is a question of the utility of your degree.

This man has a point.
Failure on your own ship is sometimes more rewarding than success as a hand under another's direction.

Assuming one has the mean average amount of saliva considering all living humans on Earth right now, and considering said saliva has the mean average acidity level of all living humans on Earth right now, and assuming that nothing can be used other than one's tongue, and assuming that a "lick" can last no longer than 3 seconds, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

Over 9000 licks.

I'm doing chemical engineering right now so I've got a decent back-up if I fail, and college is a great place to network for when I start. Additionally, banks give out much better loans to people with degrees because of proven responsibility equating to lower risk, so even though my degree doesn't directly apply to my goals, it will aid them quite a bit.

Thanks man, this really resonated with me. This is pretty much why I want to run my own business, and seeing someone else say it back to me is fucking amazing.

But how many exactly?

Glad to be of service in some small way. If I might offer some advice, I would suggest that not only the bank will take you more seriously, but also potential customers. Bragging rights.
As far as starting your own business, you need to weigh potential income from revenue vs income gained from employment.
I would say if you are young, your best bet is to START with a job that pays decent, and focus on starting your business on the side. That way you aren't spending revenue on rent and breakfast

That Is a question for somebody willing to test it.
But definately over 9000 mudkips

Oh great oracle of kek, I wish to become a pilot. Should i stick with college and go through formal training, enter the airforce after college, or enter the military now as an enlisted man and spend 10 years getting to the same place i would be if id done college?

It depends on how devout you are to the path of pilotry. Is that what you truly want? Many young people have fantasies of what they see themselves doing only to find they dislike it once they are on the path in the third dimension.

I would ask yourself what you wish your life to be. If you're going to be a commercial airliner pilot, then military background seems irrelevant. However, if you see yourself running international flight, it might be worth the training.

I would say give the path some thought and decide what your ideal situation is, and persue that path specifically, rather than loosely saying pilot or doctor or something without consideration for specialization.

How can I find a way to channel this bs potential my dad keeps talking about whenever I visit?

Am I banned?

How do I shot web

Pick something and stick with it.
Potential is ethereal and has no bearing on what you do in the real world. If you sit at home patting yourself on the back for being a genius, you won't accomplish anything with your potential.

If you pick something to do, whatever it is- and persue it, situations and opportunities will present themselves.
Life doesn't come to you, you have to seek it

To shot web you have but two choice. Bit by spider or create web substance piggybacking off your father's work and find way to implement sling machine.

Bug option easier

Not yet. Post CP if that is what you desire

Great oracle.. i won a legal case..the bank doesnt want to pay me yet..how much time left to pay me what the own? Thanks.

oh wise oracle, will I find a job in near future. I've been unemployed for nearly a year and I really need money.

Would you care for a slice of pie and a cup of coffee?

My vision of such things is clouded by many people's actions and decisions. Beurocracy is the bane of divination.

I am afraid I know not when they will decide such matters- it seems random- some cases take but a few weeks, whilst others take years.

A man came to my hut some time ago, and was asking about his settlement from insurance after nothisfault accident with automobile. Ended up taking no less than 7 years for him to receive compensation due to dilly dallying on the behest of insurance red tape.

You could be waiting for some time to come, user.

If you seek employment, you will find it. If I might offer some advice, apply to these companies directly, not through job posting sites. Often times due to regulations and company policy , jobs are posted after they've already decided on an internally hired candidate.

Go to their websites, scroll to the bottom of the page and search for their. Careers page. Here you will find the hidden job market.

But again, it takes action on your part to find these things. Nobody is going to reach out to you if you do not make yourself available to employers

Kinda like a hooker, now that I think about it

Gotta be on the corner if u wanna get picked up

That would be lovely, user.

Many come with questions of their own lives and care not for the troubles of a little old Oracle such as myself. Bah. Such things are irrelevant, I've accepted my role and my hut is mighty comfy

Thanks. The fight its about 5 years right now..maybe a few months.
I will do some drastic legal shit..need your opinion if its the right move... Thanks again

Do I have a chance with the woman I'm into?

How shall I die?

I hope you have a merciful and swift death from the bottom of my heart

Holding hot embers with the intent to burn others results in your own hand getting burned.

They pull the strings, they are the authority- I'm not saying to cowtow to their tardiness, but consider the legal grounds you stand on....
Legally, if their terms of service reflect an "as long as it takes" policy, your lawyers will be useless.

That being said, if you believe they've done something illegal in your case, then legal action is justified. Otherwise, if you're taking legal action out of anger with no legislation to stand on, your case will be delayed and ultimately result In wasting your own time as well as the courts.

I appreciate your blessing. Thank you.

You always stand the chance, user. This is another question of your actions. If you play your cards right, and she likes you as a person, then yes.

Keep in mind, if she takes interest to you because of your own misrepresentation of your character to sway her opinion of her- you may find misery at the end of that path when you two become intimate enough for her to see you for who you are. Best bet is to be who you are, and better yourself wherever possible to increase your chances.

Hmmmm...who thinks was him..?!

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The same as everyone else...when your time comes.
All shall pass when the time comes for your oroborus to eat its own tail. It is the cycle of life.

Whether the photo is doctored or real, I am unaware.

If it's real, it's probably him. Seems like his kind of humor, Elon may have got a kickback for posting for them.

If fake, then obviously the most likely explanation would be that it was not him.

Thanks for the advice and insights, Oracle. I always stay true to who I am and don't put up a false front as I want people in my life that are drawn to me for me and not some act just to fit in.

Especially so with her. As much as it would suck if she doesn't like who I am, I would feel worse for her to fall for an act I'd have to maintain just to have her as part of my life. And I'd never dream about toying with anyone's emotions like that for my own interest. I could see where she would be skeptical or cautious of people's actions and intent, especially if she has been burned in the past. I just hope she can see me for me and like whom she sees.

Thanks again.

It is no trouble, fren.
I wish you luck with your endevours