Leave milk out

>leave milk out
>blame it on batman
HAHAHAHAHAHA LOCK ME UP

>say I'm gonna go to AA
>I'm actually drinking right now

IM SO DAMAGED

>Masturbate when I go to bed.
>Mum rushes in to ask why I'm making baby noises.
>Pretend to be asleep.

SOMEBODY STOP ME

>buy bag of almonds
>never activate em

CALL THE COPS

>almonds
>not cashews of chaos

I've never seen a post in these threads beat pic related.

>mom tells me to go to bed at 9 pm
>stay up until 10 pm

HAHAHA I'M CRAZY

>cashier tells me to have a nice day and come back soon
>be miserable and never return
CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME, BABAY!

>at the movie theater
>ticket person breaks my ticket and tells me to enjoy the movie
>movie sucks and I don't enjoy it

I'M DA JOKAH BAYBEE!

>job interviewer tells me to tell him about myself
>proceed to recount the tale of Darth Plauegis the wise
>he tells me to leave and never set foot in the building again
>go back the next day and yell "IRONIC!" at his face
m-m-m-m-m-mad mad mad m-m-m-m-m-m-mad-mad-ness

>see fags having fun in thread
>report it
:^)

Literally me

My pet rabbit will eat dog or cat food if I leave it out during his daily play time.
He ate a mosquito corpse once, too.

Jesus christ I know it's Sup Forums but can we please dial it back?

>customer asks for a couple of icecubs in his drink
>only put in one

THROW AWAY THE KEY

>stare down my bully during lunch hour

IM DANGEROUS

>user asks to dial it back
>turn it up to numbah uhleven babay!

>know that I have to work tomorrow
>stay up to post in a joker thread past 3am
SOMEBOOODDDY STOP MEH!

Get some rest, user! Think of your health!
You're tearing this family apart

>should have went to bed
>I'm still up well unto the morning

IM LOCKED UP

>could have a life
>shitpost all day instead

>Eat breakfast at 11 PM
INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

>make joker thread in 2017

HUMMANA HUMMANA SOMEBODY STOP ME

>stop in the streeet and ask busy people for the time
>actually don't give a shit about the time
LOCK ME UP

>return VHS I rented
>Didn't rewind it

CALL THE WARDEN

UH OH THE MADMAN DID IT AGAIN

thread is making me lol

wtf is on that cat's face

>VHS
>in 2017

ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>its common to leave a 15% tip
>leave 14%
OOOOOO SOMEBODY STOP ME

>cashews of chaos
holy fuck they can't be serious

>get banned for posting off topic thread
>reset router and post it again

JUST CALL ME MR CRAZY

>sign in bathroom at work says all employees must wash hands before returning to work
>wipe my own ass with my hand after I shit
>don't wash before returning to work

SOMEBODY FIRE ME

>Keep my socks for at least 4 days straight till they have a rancid smell

MY GRAVE WILL NEVER BE FILLED SO KILL OR BE KILLED

>get a warning
>continue to break rules
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>adding caffeine and taurine to fucking dried fruit and seeds
why are americans so fucking retarded?

Dude, calm down, you're out of control

>Say I'm going to improve my grades
>Skip class and masturbate in the bathroom

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

TOO FAR