Yo Sup Forums I'm going to meet u a guy to fight in about an hour, I never fought, give me some tips. The fuck do I do?

Yo Sup Forums I'm going to meet u a guy to fight in about an hour, I never fought, give me some tips. The fuck do I do?

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Get some coffee

When he goes to punch you, you either take the hit, falling to the ground, where you piss and shit your pants in front of everyone you respect, or you duck quickly and shoot him right in the dick. Just go ahead and empty the magazine. Right in the dick.

just bee urself anone

What is with you and dicks? Fucking faggot.

suck his dick

If they are trying to fuck you up, fight dirty.

Use a glove and put something inside it. Like an english punch idk, so when you do hit him its lile 100x more powerful, and probably insta ko

Show up naked and insist he gets naked too. if he tries to say your gay just go with the "No I fight like a real man." and insist on the fight still. If he asks what kind of man fights naked you look him dead in the eye and say "a real one"

Then throw it at him?

Nothing we can tell you or show you will prepare you for the fight OP, fighting is largely instinctual, that’s why fighters spar over and over so that when they are in a fight their attacks and counters will be reflex

TLDR fighting is not something you learn in a week-let alone in a few hrs, you’ll forget any advice the second you get hit in the face

get a gun and go school shooter on him

Bend the knee. Punch the D.


Right in the face. Follow that with a hard kick to the nuts. When he falls, stomp still he stops twicking.

He could learn simple boxing defense in like 30mins

He could know the theory, in practice you dont have time to think your moves, you just have to be trained so it becomes instinctive

>bro are those gloves? take that shit off

I mean, sure this could happen specially if he is somewhere hot. So he could leave it on his pocket and equip during the fight. Better be called a pussy than take a beating

lean into your punches when you see you've got a clear shot. pummel with haymakers and jabs. STAMINA. do not get tired. the moment you look tired, thats when you'll get rushed and knocked out. if the person you're fighting is a bitch they'll try to take you to the ground because they have no form and don't honor fist fights. if they kick, thats worse and you'll have to anticipate damage to your shins and ribs. alternate your guard and STAMINA. pace yourself. always move your feet but never back up. always to the side. you'll end up cornering yourself otherwise. STAMINA. dont go thirsty to a fight dont go overwhelmed with a full gut either. nothing is more hilarious then watching someone puke after winning/losing a fight. make the whole thing worse if you lost.

Don't fight unless you already know how to fight. Unless you think they don't know either. Or unless you're ok with getting your ass kicked. Cheers

You sound like one of those fags that has never been in a fight but obsesses over mma and shit. Stop talking out of your ass you dumb nigger or I'm gonna show you what a real man can do.

^underrated comment

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you aren't going to show me shit you stupid faggot. I have been in a few fist fights and just took the time to reflect where I went wrong and where I did well.

> leaning into punches = powerful punch
> not being a fat shit = STAMINA
> footwork = not getting caught
> you = faggot

Buy a mouthguard and those work out straps for your hand so when you hit them your hand won't be as fucked up and keep your hands up and don't put your head down.

You’re both gay.

Try not to die from a single punch. Good luck op, fighting in a brawl is a dumb way to go.

its hilarious though
OP if you die by cracking your melon on the ground whoever you're fighting catches a murder charge TOP KEK vengeance from the grave. you'll be in heaven with your 71 virgins

plus this faggot

while he'll be in prison getting raped by tyrone.

Walk up to him and immediately punch him in the throat. This will cause to either grab his throat or fall to the ground. Either way he is now defenseless. At that point do whatever you need to prove your pint without fucking him up to much. Then walk away like a boss.

When you are face to face with him look over his shoulder and say "Cops!". When he looks behind him sucker punch him in the jaw with all your might. You seem like a pussy so you prolly wont knock him out. So keep punching until he falls. When he is on the ground talk mad shit to him. If he tries to get up start kicking him. Ask random guys watching if they "WANT SOME". If any girls have gathered to watch the fight tell them to "Get back to the kitchen". You will be a legend and no one will ever fuck with you again.

best case scenario: knock him out, rape his unconscious body.

second best scenario: he knocks you out, he rapes your body

worst case scenario: he knocks you out, cuts off your penis

Take the beating like a champ. If you haven't trained for it or don't feel like your fists have enough oomph, you will never win. Just saying. Fight back, but don't go down like a pussy.


try sucking his dick

Quick quick, download Roadhouse, memorize the last scene, do that

Then it's vock sucking time, push him over and go to town

This happened to a friend of mine

Punch him in the throat first chance you get, and then just wail on him while he's down

falcon punch

Worry less about the one punch KO and just take ground control straight away. Shoot for his legs (with caution), take him down, then just keep smacking his head against the pavement until he stops fighting back. EZ Clap

Buy the bas rutten mma workout CD
So you are in physical shape to fight.