What's the weirdest thing you've ever put your dick inside of?

What's the weirdest thing you've ever put your dick inside of?
>pic related

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Some user posted a diy flesh light with the use of a plastic bottle, stuffing, and a latex glove.
Shit's good mane.

A women

I fucked this so hard

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A microwaved orange. Felt great though.

I don't get what level of stupid you have to be to think that works.

Fuuuuuuck yeah OP
> I tried fucking one of those jelly fist things too

This.

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SEED STUCK IN THE URETHRA!

I stick my dick in this thing a lot

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"Microwaved orange"? What the fuck?

You cut a hole through it and microwave it. The insides feel nice, soft, and warm.

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and enjoy your third degree burns on your dick
use warm water to warm it up not the microwave !

I stuck my flaccid dick in an empty gatorade bottle then made myself hard. Worst mistake of my life.

I have always thought about putting my dick inside one of these. How did it feel?

casaba melon

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Your mother?

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we've all put our dicks in our mothers, noob.

Gatorade bottle. I used it like a penis pump. Now I'm an engineer.

This was my go to in Iraq while deployed with the Marines.

... Seriously?

Are you dense, that stuff just rolls across, there is no friction.

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A mouthwash bottle like pic related. I cut the top part off and put a sock inside then folded the top of the sock around the top of the bottle. Then I put a bit of cotten inside the sock. It sucked. The pressure was ok but the sock didn’t keep my dick from being hurt by the bottle. I could have put a sock inside the sock to add another layer, but then it would be difficult to squeeze inside the whole. Lube obviously wouldn’t help either, since the socks would just absorb it and cost you unnecessary amouns of lube while also ruining the soft texture of the sock. Whatever, I tried.

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I wrapped silly putty around my dick and jerked off with it when I was like....12? I think?

Your mom

Gottem

No pineapple? What a waste.

Tried fucking one of those yoplait yogurt containers, the ones that are smaller on top. My head barely fit through and the lips of the container hurt like hell. 2/10 would not do again.

I fucked the bejesus out of a banana peel before.

a stuffed animal cow.
admitted tamer than other posts in this thread.

Didn’t you guys just take turns fucking each other’s asses? What kind of square unit were you in?

I am here to bear witness.

Not proud of it

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that's highly illogical

no, YOUR mother specifically

I would cut off the tip of a banana and gouge out the inside with a spoon, being sure to eat it of course can't waste food, then id fuck the shit out of the peel

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4 odd things...
1) Watermelon (flelt OK - but also felt stupid)
2) Baby goats mouth (felt good but I felt like a perv)
3) First Cousin (now very embarrassing at reunions - you've been warned)
4) Own Mouth (when more limber as a youth - boring)

her name was Terry

my sister worked for McDonalds for a while and she said some of her co workers would punch holes in the plastic wrapped blocks of cooking lard and fuck them.

might explain why she was a vegetarian for a while.

Same here. Then I threw it in the bathroom garbage

Does the rest of the family know? Or just you 2?

The legal embodiment of Minnie Mouse - for 2 weeks. Cute girl. French.

Nice

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Any pics?

Remember those inflatable boxing gloves from back in the day? Sockem Boppers or some shit, anyway used to squirt lotion in It and go to fucking town. Shit was cash. And to 12 year old me it felt just as good as I imagined real pussy.

Wow user, it's 2 am and you just brought me back to my childhood

my aunt

A stripper