Producer: Here's our offer; one $200 Dave & Buster's gift card, a Publix sub, and a box of Q-tips, and uh...

>Producer: Here's our offer; one $200 Dave & Buster's gift card, a Publix sub, and a box of Q-tips, and uh...this wrinkled up $100 bill from my pocket
>Eric: Deal
>Eric: Hehe, there's a sucker born every minute

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/H-VAz-4x9hc?t=64
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>I'm sorry Eric, we can go skittles OR pepsi, but both...I just can't see us coming to an agreement, I'm afraid.
>*Sigh*...oh well, sorry we couldn't work anything out.
>Click
>Phone rings 30 seconds later
>Hi it's Eric. Did you cast that role yet?

>Ring ring ring
>Hello?
>Sigh, i've gotta who's dick to get Emma's domestic abuse charges dropped?
>...
>I'm on my way...

Would be really go so low?

I can't imagine he got paid much for recording his lines for A Talking Cat!?! over the phone

>>Sigh, i've gotta who's dick to get Emma's domestic abuse charges dropped?

>movie maker: lol here is one dollar it's very little money :D
>eric boerts: thank you movie maker, this is lot of money for me :D
xD

hahahaha my sides are in orbit

Upvoted

Why did I laugh at the most retarded post ever made on Sup Forums

haha thanks dude here is another:
>movie maker: here you get only food and not even money if you do this movier robert :DD
>eric rober: okay I do it because I do lot of movies and don't want much money : D

That's not how the meme works, you fucking faggot.

>make sex tape
>eric roberts is fucking my gf in it
>all the loose change in my house is missing

>"Alright, for this next role we nee-"
>Mexican cleaning lady rips off her disguise and jumps onto the table

sorry man I'm new here :D
and I'm not gay btw
>movie maker: here erib you can have sandwich if you come to this movie eric :D
>eric robe: sure I do it for sandvich movei maker dude :D
>user: that's not the meme you dip
fucking lol xD

>Hey, this is Eric Roberts. Did you cast that role yet?
>Who?
>ERIC ROBERTS
>I'm not following.
>E R I C R O B E R T S. Just google me.
>One minute...
>...
>*sigh* I guess we can cast you. How does a few peanuts I found lodged in the cushions of my car seat and this sticky bag of empty soda bottles sound?
>I want a pack of smokes too faggot.
>Ok, that works for us. Shouldn't we call your agent or something? We almost never have people apply to be extras directly.

...

Fucking kek, doing God's work user

I don't get this meme at all.

Yes, he's got a lot of roles under his belt, but so what?

HAHAHA

underrated

A lot of roles is an understatement. Check his IMDB.
>30 (thirty) roles already planned this year alone

Ok, but why is that bad?

...

Because every single one of them are low-budget garbage.

Not the guy you quoted, but he had a decent screen time in The Dark Knight.

okay that was 9 years ago what's your point?

whhhhhhooooo00000000OOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

>Just google me.
"Just Bing me" would also have been acceptable. Over all, 2/13.000

>his daughter
Well, would you, Sup Forums?

damn you're funny

can you also smile in Italian?

cos we really want you to take over eric's role in our upcoming movie... name your price, ofc you'll incur the usual fees of buying him out at the cost of parking ticket validation and a half chewed cigar.

Robert pls

>eric boerts

...

sometimes its the simple jokes that are the funniest

>get sick and tired of Eric Robert's seemingly omnipresent appearance in all of my films
>tell him to leave the studio and never contact me again
>five days later he's back knocking on my door
>tell him yet again to fuck off, I'm sick of all his tricks
>he doesn't leave, says he's got one more role up his sleeves that he'll do for $1000
>keep insisting enough is enough, he should leave and never return
>"no silly, I'll give YOU $1000" he says
>I'm taken aback, because my last film flopped and I most definitely needed the money
>say fine, he can do just this last role
>"I've already done it" he says
>once again I'm dumbfounded, but knowing Eric, I entertain his nonsense
>"okay, Eric, what IS this role that you've done?"
>"follow me" he says
>he proceeds to escort me to a cabinet in the back of my room, where I've stored every film I've ever directed or starred in
>leads me to a section titled "personal"
>"trust me on this one" he says
>he then takes out a film that's titled "user's Baby Video June 30th 1992"
>"that's just one of my home videos, Eric" I say somewhat apprehensively
>he smirks and puts the tape into a VCR
>-user's Baby Video June 30th 1992-
>hear the lovely voice of my mom as the video fades into focus
>"say hi to daddy!" she says
>as the video pans out you can see it's my second birthday party and I'm on my mom's lap
>"see, it's just me as a baby. big fucking deal, Eric" I say
>"just watch" he says
>suddenly hear a knock on the door in the video
>my dad goes to answer it
>"hey, may I help you?"

>the figure in the door frame slowly turns
>"hey" the figure says
>the lighting adjusts and I can see that it's Eric fucking Roberts
>"I was just in the neighborhood when I noticed there seemed to be a party going on"
>he holds up a wrapped gift box to the camera
>"here, I owe this to your son"
>he slowly walks away, bearing a striking resemblance to John Wayne in The Searchers
>the tape stops
>I can barely muster the words "what... the... fuck"
>as I turn around I realize that Eric Roberts is nowhere to be found
>in a fit of mild confusion I rush towards my desk to call my mom and question her on this enigmatic man that has warped my perception of reality for better and for worse
>on my way to pick up the phone I become aware of a note left on the desk
>it reads: "Happy Birthday, user."- signed, E.R.
>next to it is the same gift box from my home video
>I open up the box to see what Eric had given me all those years ago
>it's $1000
>and that's the first and last time I've ever seen or heard from Eric Roberts

What, fuck an attractive woman?

Of course not

>crash car
>insurance not buying my story
>recover memory card from dash cam
>all this extra night footage of eric roberts at drive thrus using his fame to score free meals.

Shut up you fucking pussies

lol

>found out on parents basement some childhood tapes of me as a baby
>found out all of my scenes had been played by Eric Roberts
>asked my parents what the fuck was that
>"Eric was cheaper honey, all he asked for was 5g of coke and a bottle of Jack"
>mfw

Erica Boberts detected

>Yes hello, we are calling because we want you in our new movie, how does $3 million sound?
>o my god yes of course!
>o im sorry Eric I didn't realize it was you, is your daughter home? can you put her on the phone?

Hey Eric, how much do you charge to play me at my wedding film?

5g is like $350
he'd probably do it for a single line

kek

>5g is like $350

Maybe where you live.

yes
but she has to play the role she did in scream queens during it

A $200 D&B gift card would take you pretty far desu

I want her to spit in my mouth

Well yeah, but only if you want stuff that isn't cut to shit

wtf I'm in love now

Name the best Eric Roberts film.

Mr Brightside

You sure it wasn't Eric Roberts fucking you?

Stalked by my Doctor

Not funny, but deep AF. 8/10

>HIS NEW AGENT: listen eric, my mortgage is overdue, so i am going to need an advance after all
>ERIC BOBERS: sure harvey, I can spare a few cigarettes for an old friend.
>HIS NEW AGENT: huh? where's all the cash you made from this weeks signings?
>ERIC BOBERS: here, have a car wash coupon that never expires - that's power money can't buy.

This is a neat story.

Lel

>ok mr roberts you can have the role of guy reading newspaper #2 but I want your daughter to choke on my dick for 50 minutes every day for one week

He was in some of the worst films ever, yet, he's still has a better filmography than his daughter

How did this happen?

...

Eric, please fuck my wife in black face for a Quizno's gift card that expired in '03

...

Its super funny cause its basic writing oversimplifying a mulitimilionaire.
Its a parody of bashing eric roberts.

youtu.be/H-VAz-4x9hc?t=64
What did he do 20 years ago?

Best of the Best

What did he mean by this?

...

Thanks for reposting my greentext, I really struggled with executing the punchline but whatever

He wore a wig and acted under a different name

Eric roberts is this you. With his sense of humour I can see someone telling him about /tv and him trolling.

Dont you mean "want your daughter to choke my dick for 50 minutes"

Too far not funny.

> What did you just say about my father, user?

Put that fist down before I Evan Peters your ass Emma.