She told me "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". We fuck regularly...

She told me "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". We fuck regularly, and there's no free time she has that she could be with anyone else, so I don't think she's cheating. Is she just saying she sees this relationship as a comfortable friends with benefits, but that she would never want more than that? Would I be stupid to rock the boat and just enjoy the regular pussy?

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She's going to fuck around on you, and probably has already. If you are cool with getting some regular pussy though, then who cares.

Its like sex without any of the relationship work.

That's what I'm thinking. She just enjoying the warm bed, but will cheat when convenient.

But can you enjoy it knowing that you can't have anything more from her, even though you want to?

That's the question.

OP you're giving her something she wants other than dick. Stop giving her whatever it is and just fuck her. She'll slowly dip out. Move on to the next slut.

And she's already fucking around on the side. She doesn't want to be seen as cheating on you so you fed you that bullshit to string you along.

Basically it's already ruined. You want more, she doesn't. When you continue the "relationship" as it is right now, she will sense that you want, which will push her away. Enjoy the ride while it lasts but prepare for her leaving. It's best if you start getting more and more "detached" from her, that will make it easier when she cuts all ties

lol such a cuck thing to say. be a man.

>You want more, she doesn't
I guess it's this. It made me sad.

>OP you're giving her something she wants other than dick
The companion part and the emotional part. I guess it's just a friends with benefits and I didn't get the memo, feeling kinda stupid. She thinks she can do better I guess.

>But can you enjoy it knowing that you can't have anything more from her, even though you want to?
Probably not, it did sting when she said the I'm not in love with you part.

just enjoy her for what she is giving, if you need more than that look for another person, don't try to force it because nothing can be gained.

don't be a cuck just enjoy the sex and look for someone on the side if you still want a relationship

Dude, she just comoditized her pussy.
Treat her like a whore that you don't have to pay.

... OP, she just told you. Shes not in love with you. Do you not know the difference? Maybe that's why you are where you are.

Might as well just end it now. Shes just with you out of convenience and will ditch you when she finds someone she can actually picture herself being with long term. Its better to break up now than have her break your heart a year from now.
Unless you're only with her for the same reason as hers. If thats the case then just stay together

Dear user,

You are worthy and deserving of happiness and love. It seems that you will not get everything that you expect and deserve out of this relationship. It might be ok to stick around for a while, but it will probably just mean wasting time that you could be spending with someone that can give you all you deserve and want, or even bettering yourself before you are ready to find that someone.
Go find your happiness, it is somewhere else

Ditch her. Don’t torture yourself by staying with someone who doesn’t love you the same way you love them.

Ok, but why does that hurt so much?
>Do you not know the difference?
It was a surprise she said it is all.
>someone she can actually picture herself being with long term
I think this is it, like the op pic, she can't see a future and is just keeping a warm bed out of convenience.
>Go find your happiness, it is somewhere else
It hurts, because I thought she was it user.
>someone who doesn’t love you the same way you love them.
True, don't know though.

Shes just sticking around until she finds her "upgrade". Shes with you for now because she benefits somehow by doing so... Maybe a place to stay? Free rent? Cuddles? Not being alone? Money? Not wanting to disrupt a social circle yet?

Shes saying that she does care about you, but she knows you are not the one she wants to end up with (like marraige). Thus implying that she already knows the relationship is indeed going to end at some point of her choosing (when she finds her upgrade).

Personally i would break up with her. Not right away of course because i imagine that you have strong feelings for her, and heartbreak sucks ya know? I would seriously attempt to remove myself emotionally from her as fast as possible until i know i can comfortably break it off without the effects of heartbreak. Of course do not tell her this though. It would be sort of like going through a break up, but shes still there. So like you can sort of break up at your own pace instead of one day out of the blue she dumps you for some new cock she met and leaves you heartbroken. Usually she will always start cheating first and then you start to pick up on it and confront her and then she blames you, calls you controlling and jealous and dips out.

Also i might even fuck with her a bit because of her shady intentions here. I might intentionally start seeking her replacement to see how she reacts to me "guarding" or being suddenly protective of my phone and getting texts and such from other females. She might start getting jealous which would mean she is somewhat emotionally invested in you to at least some degree. But im just rambling now.

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>It was a surprise she said it is all.
Chances are she knows you are a decent guy and doesn't want to be the stacey that jaded you. Tho there is also a rather large chance shes so jaded and used up shes oblivious to how it reflects on her and thinks its just being cool shes bring upfront about being a whore.

Btw, you best get a test done asap. A female whom says something like this has already cheated or already knows the guy shes about to fuck, and is going to do it very very soon. Shes pushing the responsibility for whatever this is, off onto you. Despite no choice in the matter on your part. Don't internalize it or make it about you. Just accept shes an animal with base thoughts and move on.

>get a test
>make sure its wrapped if break any more off in her from here on out.
>or prepare to be posting a pic w/ "user's what do I got growing on my dick" post in a month.

I told my college gf this. I told her from the beginning that I didn't see it as being that serious. She kept pushing it to be more serious, and didn't listen to me. Every time I tried to break up with her, she'd cry and scream and call me and her friends would call me to try to get me to stay with her, and I'd relent because it was too exhausting to go through with the breakup.

Eventually I moved across the country, started dating someone else, and dumped her over the phone. She was devastated when she realized I was gone for real. I was somewhat relieved that I had one less obligation.

So listen to her when she says this. She's not in love with you. The only part she's lying about is that she loves you.

She basically told you that she's gonna stick around until she finds something better and then you're second fiddle. You can pretend that you're fine it and it's free pussy, but you wouldn't have made this thread if you were. End it now, or grow to resent her more and more and end it later. It's ending regardless.

She's looking for someone else to pay her bills. You'll keep paying them until she finds him.

enjoy the pussy while it lasts as you are on borrowed time, you get on well, you physically attracted to eachother but thats it for her...
if you love someone set them free as they say...
be grateful for what it was when it was but its on borrowed time... she or you will move on soon you can still be friends just the benefits will be long gone. Sucks to lose that but enjoy your new freedom

i love that chair

...

I found this thread very interesting. Thanks to all who posted.

And to OP: maybe it’s the emotional cocktail in your head or maybe you’re thinking about what you should or shouldn’t do based on outside cultural/societal influences.

I’m not going to tell you what to do because I don’t know you and don’t have that right. But you already know what needs to happen. It’s too easy to waste years of your life through indecision and overthinking. What is your mind telling you? Why does this bother you? And what are you going to do about it?

Did you learn a new word while on the internet? Whats “cuck” about him moving on emotionally from a whore who is stringing him along?

Just fuck other people. Idk what my “girl” wants, or what she’s doing. I know she’s not in my business too hard. I’m craving to fuck other girls, so I’m going to.

Same mistake I made. Was friends with benefits with this woman I worked with. Except she wanted more, and I didn’t. We constantly fought about it. She would come to see me at work when she was off wearing sexy clothing, constantly wanting to suck my dick everytime we went on lunch together etc. Eventually....I caught the feelings disease. Started seeing her more than just a few holes to fuck. We talked about being together.....then she started pulling away.

Never.Catch.Feelings

He's just being an internet tough guy for not immediately overreacting and throwing her out or something.

>What is your mind telling you?
She doesn't love me the way I love her, it stings.
>Why does this bother you?
Because my love isn't returned.
>And what are you going to do about it?
I don't know yet.

answer these OP

do you provide money?
do you provide emotional support?
do you tell her about your feelings?

only tell a girl your feelings rarely. it seems they like it at the start but if you do it too much it seems forced and annoying.

girls want what is hard to get. its like a game to them, unfortunately.

This is similar to what i went through. Met a chick through friends of friends. She was laying it on heavy for me. Every single morning i got a good morning text. She always wanted to hang out or text or talk on the phone. Like every free moment she had she wanted to spend it with me. Bought me food all the time. Even unannounced. Would just show up sometimes with food where ever i was. People kept asking me why i wont be her boyfriend or why arnt we official yet. So about 2 months of this i started thinking like yeah this chick seems like a keeper. So i made it offical one night when we were chillin, and i shit you not, it was like a flip switched. Very very soon after that she started acting diffrent and getting protective over her phone and not wanting to hang much anymore or she was busy or somthing. Bitch was cheating already. I had actually caught feelings for her and made her my girl then all downhill from there. Its like they love the "chase". Thats what their in it for. Once she knows you "love" her, its not fun anymore. Im really fuckin torn on how to proceed with my next relationship endeavor. I dont think all girls are like that.

Beat her to the punch dude. She already knows, and basically told you in code talk, that she IS going to leave you at some point. Thats a fact.

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>do you provide money?
I pay for things like going out to eat, occasionally shopping, but we don't live together
>do you provide emotional support?
We text all day everyday and call at night if it's a day we don't see each other.
>do you tell her about your feelings?
We about 6 months together, about a month ago she started saying I love you, then I started saying it too. Now this.

If someone that wants more is given that thing and then pulls away then they probably didn’t want it in the first place and/or they need therapy to try and fix what’s been done to their brain.

There is nothing wrong with feelings and looking for a deeper connection with another human. Commoditizing relationships and orifices as a solution to hurt feelings isn’t going to really solve anything. It’s an out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach to emotions.

How about treating everyone as a unique and imperfect individuals and realize that maybe there is something that leads you to being attracted to people and situations that bring you harm. Maybe your “picker” is broken and you don’t even know it.

I can relate to what you’re saying because people can do some pretty fucked up shit and because I’ve been there, but I can’t agree with the idea of avoiding feelings as a solution.

Fucking up and getting hurt is the ultimate catalyst for either growth or self destruction. At least that’s how I’ve learned to see it.

ask her what the issue is then. you got nothing to lose. its already game over unless you like being used.

"love" doesn't exist, she just doesn't think of you as a high social status male
ignore her for a bit, get better (financially, physically and mentally) and see how she will get all over you

Not op, but wise words. Your friends should appreciate having you around.

You’re right, not all girls are like that. Not sure how old she was but she sounds immature and retarded. All girls love the chase though but the good ones will stick around when they finally have you. They’re out there. My advice is to make them work for it, but be a gentlemen and cool too. Don’t say I love you to them for at least a couple months, and only say it once you actually mean it. Too many people jump the gun and it seems to go sideways from what I’ve witnessed. Don’t be a whiny, over protective spaz either. Be yourself of course but be mr. cool at the same time. Actually let your feelings for her grow naturally and once you finally tell her you love her, it will mean so much more to the both of you.

Love absolutely does exist though.

>I dont think all girls are like that.
And please try to not let people doing shitty things change your opinion of that now and in the future.

A lot of the time people really don’t know what they want or what they should do. Maybe it’s cellphones/porn/social media, or maybe it’s a million other things. Who the fuck knows for sure? All I know is that there’s so much noise pollution out there now that’s it’s a huge challenge to just try to figure out who you are and to be satisfied with yourself. Everywhere you go there’s someone or something trying to define you.

how do you describe it?
I would describe it as just mammals with huge abstract capabilities trying to explain simple limbic system function of "me wanna fug"

Get STD tests, and be sure she didnt give you anything. If she did, then she broke the law, if you didnt know, and you'll get hella money and hella revenge.
She is using you for convenience, the idea that you can have someone to make you feel like you're in a dedicated relationship, but without dedication, is really a farce to begin with.
Why else do you think everyone catches feelings?
The biggest issue is she wants all the benefits with none of the attachment, and that's abusing your trust, she doesn't want to have to be loyal if someone slightly better comes along, but she wants to be comfortable right now.
Dont let her do that, say you arent going to see her anymore.
It's obvious what she is doing is keeping you in her pocket so she has a fallback, and so she can feel loved while she looks for true love.

Exceptional simplification, but when you add all of the relevant information, love becomes a secondary concept to sex.
You don't immediately feel horny when close to someone you love, instead you feel attachment, similar to how you'd feel attachment to a small child, or to a sentimental object.
You wouldn't say those attachments are sexual would you? Does ones love of a small child indicate their sexual feelings for said small child, or inanimate object? No ofcourse not, because love isnt JUST a rationalization for sexual action.
We know love is separate for these reasons, you can love things you would never be able to sexually interact with, and you could not argue that love is any different, as it wouldn't be.
Romantic love and sexual love does exist separately.
How would YOU define it, if you were defining it correctly?

>LoVe DoEsNt ExiST
Found the virgin

>edgy 2009 rationalization which doesnt make sense when you compare it to reality.

I gave you a hint, in how to describe it too! It should be easy to define as I've even said the definition in my reply.

The way I see love is as a deep connection between animals. It’s teamwork, reciprocity, and empathy. It’s knowing that you won’t be shamed or bullied for being wrong. It’s growing for the benefit of yourself and those around you. It’s what you need in order to accept yourself and those around you: especially when those around you bring you harm. Love is that which enables choice.

No thats lust

Well, he may not be a virgin. But he definitely is lacking life experience, as only someone who hasn't gone around loving his nieces and nephews, and family, would think this way. Family is a great example of how love isnt sexually based, and instead is more so sexually construed.

You're so close to using the right word!
I feel the word "attachment" just boiling on the tip of your tongue.
If you would've said it, it would've been the exact definition of love.

> how love isnt sexually based, and instead is more so sexually construed
I really like this, thank you.

You're welcome user :)

Ok let’s try.

>attachment is teamwork, reciprocity, and empathy
>attachment is knowing that you won’t be shamed or bullied for being wrong
>attachment is growing for the benefit of yourself and those around you
>attachment is what you need in order to accept yourself and those around you: especially when those around you bring you harm
>attachment is that which enables to choice

To each their own, and that’s why I prefaced such a highly debated definition with “the way I see...”

I disagree with your statement but I appreciate your input. I do not, however, appreciate being condescended and bullied when I’m trying to add to a discussion. I hope we can continue debating, however, and contribute more thoughts to this thread.

Highly debated? You just dont understand what love is, you misdefine it based on feelings experienced, not what it as a whole is.
You cant define taking a shit as a rumbly tummy, and sore abdomen can you? No, youd define it as the action of excreting.
So, why do you define love this way?

I'm in a kinda/sorta similar situation. I want this chick to marry my ass and live with me. She just wants to date me indefinitely. The sex is great. I don't think she would cheat on me unless with another chick. (She says she's not into the idea of being with another girl, but she has a LOT of lesbian friends.)

I've tried breaking up with her. Then she'll come over to my house -- AFTER I TOLD HER NOT TO -- and then we're cuddling in no time and my face is buried in her pussy. I can't shake this bitch!!!

KEKD WHAT AN ANALOGY

Dude you should call the cops. Dont let her in you fucking moron, you're hurting yourself by letting her into your house

>love is reciprocity
OP is in love but it isnt reciprocated, your definition is wrong.

>So, why do you define love this way?
I define it in the way that I have learned to see it over the course of my life. Perhaps I do not understand love how you see it? Does that mean that I’m wrong and you’re right? I define it in a string of personably relatable anecdotes and feelings because that is how I am best able to describe something so intangible.

Start fucking her like the worthless whore that she is. Up the ass no lube.

Push her to her knees and throatfuck her.Make her gag on your cock.

From now on every fuck is a hatefuck.You want to fuck her so hard she cries.

Yes it does mean exactly that. I'm not telling you how to define it based on life experience, I'm telling you the exact scientific usage of the word, and how all collective study over hundreds of years of study of the term and feelings related to them comes together to define the word.
You're like "but it feels like this".

She's a gash. Women are built to cheat. Governments give women everything and men nothing. Forget about her and save your money

>intangiblility makes words harder to define
God, if only there were other intangible things we could define with ease.
Like Ease, and God.

It means she doesnt want to be your wife but shes down for everything less. Fuckin shit.
Shes smart enough to know that. Your probably a 17yo faggot anyways.

honestly, this is what i want because finding someone that i can call a partner is no easy task
so yeah in my case an "open relationship" is amazing

Haha alright well it looks like I’m starting to rustle some jimmies so I’m going to remove myself from the conversation.

Thanks everyone for their input and best of luck to OP with their situation. Hopefully you’re feeling better soon and in a place more conducive to growth and happiness. *tips fedora whimsically*

Dude, go find someone you can make something more and better with, you'll be more fulfilled and happy. Fuck mediocrity, go for the gold yo.

>loses and acts like hes leaving for another reason.
Copy that chief.
Over and out.

You win and I congratulate you. Have a good day

Dude, break up with that dumb bitch. If you don’t, you’re as dumb as she is. You can thank modern progressivism for turning women into whores who are only interested in the pleasures in life. It’s starts with you, though. You need to be the standard you hold women to. You can’t be pissed off with women who sleep around if you’re doing the same thing. Find a good church and learn how to be a good man. Only then will you find a good woman.

OP, there's a lot of advice for you in this thread. Most of it is people telling you what they would do. But they aren't you, so it doesn't really matter what they would do.
What do you honestly want with this girl? If you are wanting a committed relationship, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. And if that is what you want, you are only setting yourself up for more hurt down the road if you stick around. OTOH, if you are mostly in it for the sex anyway, then there's no reason not to keep seeing her. I mean good sex with no emotional attachment can be a great thing if both parties are in the same state of mind. But it really all comes down to where you're at, no one else can tell you that.

shes a thot user. thots do what thots do. if ur only in it 4 ass then stay if not then end it.

kek, try harder greenhorn

If you read the thread then youd know where hes at and that your advice sucks.

birdbrain, thats a birdbrain user

The less you care the better off you are. Enjoy the right now and don’t overthink shit. Only niggers overthink and destroy the good thing they have. If it progresses good if not, you had fun.

they can be, we just have laws against that

if its a friends with benefits relationship then you cant "get cheated on".
stop being so clingy.

I'm in your same situation user. I used to like her a lot but now it's just a weird friend who I some times fuck.