"Extra butter, as requested"

>"Extra butter, as requested"

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Many thanks, Ni-, I mean, "Robert".

You're doing a bang up job as usual Robert.

Uh.

Where are my crab legs?

Why aren't you on a basketball court?

I didn't want butter

>>Extra butter
thanks Robert. Don't worry, I won't mention it to Mr. Shekelstein

don't take this the wrong way but your skin is a little burnt

Thanks

why would you bother posting this?

lol I heard dat nigga quit

I requested falcon chow and an anvil and you hand me this shit? Fuck you Robert, I want to see your manager

I NEED MORE GREASE

You know Robert, I've come to this Cinema for five years in a row now, and man, you've always been here to serve me my popcorn.
Here's a extra tip Robert, I love you man.

Here alone? ...again?

I humbly beg your pardon if I am overstepping my bounds. I don't mean to insult nor do I mean to pry, but don't you get lonely? I see many people walk through these halls day after day but none have so interested me as you do. You avert your gaze to the floor under my attention as if embarrassed or ashamed to inhabit a human body. You stutter and mumble as if this routine transaction is a strenuous ordeal. I see a pain in your countenance sir, you try to hide it under a stoic demeanor, but it is as clear to me as day. What has you in such a state sir? Why does the contentedness that others find so naturally elude you? Who made you like this?

I...I'm sorry if what I said was out of line sir. Enjoy the movie...

>Fuck you Robert, I want to see your manager
Chaim Sheklestein, is there a problem?

Gee, thanks. All. I wanted was to watch a fucking movie

Please Robert, just pour the butter

What are you, my fucking shrink? Get the fuck outta my face Uncle Tom ass nigga

Yeah, tell your BOY to listen to what a customer wants before assuming what a nigga wants, then try to psycho analyze a nigga

Oh and find me dem Derek snow caps

Fuck Jerry Heller

Thanks

I said DROWN it in butter. Also get your dirty negro hands off of my tub.
No, it is NOT ok if you wash it. Throw it in the trash and get me a new one.

Let me speak to the fucking manager.

ha, too bad Tyrone
shouldn't have banned singles

I'm sorry sir, but I'd advise against that. I'm willing to look the other way at you violating the no singles policy, but I assure you Mr. Shekelstein will not.

HELLO RE DDIT

Wow, way to bring me me even more down.
I just wanted to watch Boss Baby to have a good laugh, but now I don't want to.
Maybe I'll catch Logan again and cry.
Thanks a lot, Robert.

Thanks man, same time as usual? I'll send the wife over at 8 and remember no anal!

Mex-Men? I'd advise against it sir.

youtu.be/JBx-vydxfKU

Y-you too

>Not many people know this but Robert has a wife and four children. He is a devoted husband, and loving father. He works hard for the family, and provides excellent service to his customers at the movie theater. Yet some anons on a certain website disrespect him by calling him racial slurs, or stereotyping him when he is just another good American citizen.
>Sorry Robert. I am rambling for no reason. I'll get a large coke too.

Thanks, have a good night.

>when somebody presses the hologram dance party button during opening credits

was not expecting 10/10

>his theatre doesn't have self-serve butter

Thanks Robert.
Here you go.

>bibble bebop was taken off of YouTube

WHYYYYYY

this is too real for me right now fuck you Robert

...

Apologies sir, You white people all look the same I confused you for someone who wanted popcorn.

Thank you!

Perfect.

literally no kino will put the butter on for you. fucking losers don't even leave the house

It's popcorn time!

*cracks whip*

What did I say about speaking out of term, boy?

stop shilling, samefag

You betrayed me Robert
They were right about relaxing next to you.

Do you think me a fool, Robert? That you would gaze at me and state the painfully obvious as if making some grand discovery?

Yes, I am alone. No, it is not by choice. Every morning I roll out of my single bed and drag feet that couldn't possibly be my own to the bathroom mirror. I don't brush my teeth or wash my face: I merely stand there in silence, taking in the twisted product of a wasted life that is my visage. I look at myself and I find all things wanting, and yet I must reside happily in the knowledge that I will never be more than what I currently am.

Sure, I could join a gym. I could go every day to a house of pain and work my fingers to the bone trying to attain what comes so naturally to those who surround me. I could surgically remove all the simple, gastronomic pleasures from my diet and live a life of asceticism. I could deceive a few, if not more.

But what would be the point? To lead a life of deception knowing that I am trapped within the body of some fictional character seems both shallow and unsatisfying. I would become little more than a puppet being controlled by the omnipresent hand of insecurity, preening and primping at every interval just to maintain this mirage.

Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I admit my inferiority and discard the man I am today, but for now, Robert, I would like a large soda and a carton of Milk Duds.

And Robert? No ice. The world is cold enough.

W-why would you do this Robert?

>as if this routine transaction is a strenuous ordeal
It's the other way round: strenuous ordeals are routine transactions.

You crlearly don't know Robert. He goes the extra mile. He IS a good boy.

>Robert wasn't real all along
>He was merely a projection of the protagonists inner doubts
>Rejecting the butter was the key

Um, excuse me garçon. Where is the BBC cream?

Fuck me, someone has got to make a movie now about Sup Forums's cinema experiences which ends with the protagonist rejecting the crab legs and just getting regular popcorn not from the pop corn mines.

This snaps him out of his delusions and he becomes the normie.

/thread

...

Just hit the gym fatty ffs

Thanks Robert. How's my wife tonight?

why is there no lobster flavored popcorn?

Nonexistent, sir, just as your last visit.

Wait hang on a second, if that's true then who's son is this?

doesn't popcorn butter give you cancer?

That would be the most recent boy you've elected to abduct and force yourself upon, sir.

The sun gives you cancer

...

then don't go outside in the sun, simple prevention.

>opening scene
>main character is near death, in chains and hung upside down over a cliff face overlooking the popcorn mines
>Pause
>"You're probably wondering how I got here...well it's a long story. Let's go to beginning"
>Rewinds back to the illuminated figure of an overweight NEET hunched over a computer screen browsing Sup Forums chuckling at a Bane post
>"woah not that far"
>Fast forward
>"1972, Laos" title card
>"It aint me" starts playing

wtf i hate the sun now

>Main plot revolves around the local kinoplex finding out all the movies he has gone to was just him, alone and they are hunting him down.

Domo arigatou Roberto-dono

How do you even do this in real life? Do you make quotation marks in the air with your fingers?

...

>movie trailers start out with "One man..."
>"wait...just one? you mean by himself? As in a singular unaccompanied male? No friend or girl or family members too? Just him?

like the imagination box from spongebob lol

So you're one of those people

Haha, it's alright Robert, no harm done.

I like how fat people turn laziness into a philosophy

haha

I like how /fit/fags turn jokes into attacks on their egos

Bravo. I'd rate this 9/10 on IMDb

reddit spacing

This "reddit spacing" meme is really fucking stupid. People have always typed like that here, people always put spaces between their paragraphs. Why you would suddenly pretend like that's a reddit thing is quite baffling.

You must have reached the point where you're at least tangentially aware of how silly and pointless your existence has become by now, user.

I know the whole crab legs thing is a meme, but they really are the best theater food. The local cinemark is right next to pic related and they do all you can eat crabbers on wednesdays. Here's the thing tho, once they thaw the crabs they can't refreeze them so if its not particularly busy that night they end up throwing out a good amount of perfectly fine legs. Also, most of the idiots around here have no idea how to properly clean a crab so they end up throwing away half the meat too.

So what we do is hit up the dumpster around 4 am and see what kind of goodies we get. Then we usually come back to the theater and set up shop on the side. We resteam with a coleman portable stove and then use an old popcorn tub to sneak them in through the side door that we prop open. And no, we don't leave the scraps on the floor.

What did he mean by this?

>The world is cold enough.
ABSOLUTELY KEKED. I swear, Reddit brings us some good kekposters sometimes.

reddit president

Dont fucking REPLY to me again ass whole

Spacing out paragraphs is reddit now....

>How bad does the room you are sitting in now smell?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Ugh can you guys ugh like stop having fun in here and let us discuss our shitty obscure foreign films ugh

You are obviously new here on the chans buddy?

We dont upvote
We dont spam "paster"
And you are not funny
Why dont you head on back to plebian-eddit

>reddit

**greentext**I agree with you, thise newb needs to leave

/i dont like popcorn

[greentext]newfags[/greentext]

#NicePost @81602286 @81602241

lol someone doesnt know how to **greentext**GREENTXT!

[greentext]summer noob[/greentext]

>reddit
[greentext]newfags[/greentext]
**greentext**GREENTXT!