Im a married man who has semi-retired at the age of 35...

Im a married man who has semi-retired at the age of 35. I have two women offering to be my mistress but am having doubts about the whole idea.

Ask me anything.

Also. Views on mistresses generally are appreciated.

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Shameless self Bump

Nothing?

You might as well do it

R u gay?

I’ve always thought of cheating as wrong.

Is mistresses worse or better than a random fuck?

>Views
Cheating is bad if you're in a committed relationship. It makes you a liar. If you want to do that then leave your wife. She trusts you.

No. Straight.

Both offers are from decent looking slim women. They’re Asian. So maybe it’s more common in their culture? I dunno.

don't be a faggot and don't cheat on your wife

get a divorce first you raging homo. Yeah sure, all us anons on Sup Forums are pieces of garbage but don't be a fucking scumbag. I hope someone dox's you and tells your wife that you have intentions to cheat. stupid fucker

Yeah and this is the problem.

My wife and I have a great relationship. Except for sex. We’ve done it like 3 times in 2 years.

after many years of discussion about it, she ultimately always lays blame st my feet for “not trying hard enough”.

Which, may be true, but I sort of hope/expect that she would want to have sex with me on her own drive.

Sort of hurts that she doesnt.

So when I come across women who do...... well it’s hard. Because he relationship with my wife is otherwise pretty perfect.

Don’t worry friend, I’ve been on this board long enough to make sure I don’t leave any traces.

Shit sucks

Why don't you talk to her about how you feel? Maybe she has reasons, point is you should keep communication open

Dude I’ve talked to her. Like, to the point where I pussied up and cried about how The lack of her desire for me hurts.

Nada.

She just hasn’t got a horny bone in her body.

Like I said, the relationship is otherwise perfect. So it’s not so a remedy im considering lightly.

I just have to wonder at what point do I prioritise my own needs. And if I can do that without, well, destroying the otherwise great relationship I have.

You’re either retired or you’re not dumbass (you aren’t).

how do please be rich enough to retire at 35?

No sex in marriage at any age inevitably leads to infadelity, even Jung had a mistress. Dont get caught though or your wife will fuck your financials up. Simple.

Market boi.

Don’t go to work per se. Don’t watch it like s hawk. But it consumes some of my time.

My uncle is 75 and his wife stopped having sex with him....he found a Chinese girl that will suck his dick because hes wealthy. Lifestyle short. Use it while you got it.

IF your wife doesn't object, (Fat Chance but maybe) then go for it. But even then only if the other two are willing to do the occasional foursome. Otherwise, it's mug's game, You are setting yourself up to be blackmailed.

Divorce your wife. What's the point if she not giving up the grip? Waste of time.

Get a degree in a field that’s not gender studies, and don’t be a dick at work.

If you achieve both those things you’re well on your way.

For extra points - be prepared to do work in difficult situations or circumstances. It pays more.

For extra points - save most of your money and don’t blow it on drugs and hookers like most young guys do.

Yeah that’s the hard one right.

I’m almost at a point where I want to say “hey we’ve tried making this work all these years and I really do love you but........ I want to try this solution”

Am I batshit crazy to think there’s a possibility it might fly?

I have a problem with my conscious unless I can logically rationalise the decision

She's power tripping, tie her up and eat her pussy until she stops complaining and making up excuses. It's literally her being unable to give you 5-20 mins of atrention. If I loved someone I'd let them use my body for 10 mins, as long as it didn't hurt. Women are retarded and don't know how to get what they want. I used to have a different opinion. But got damn accountability and consistency has to be worth something, has to reveal some kind of obvious truth.

Then let your wife know you're unhappy with a sexless marriage and if not rectified you will leave her. That's the honorable way to do things.

>retired at 35
Considering she will take half your estate, what are your thoughts on working again? No fault divorce will defacto be an even split. If you cheat, it will be YOUR fault divorce and you'll lose more than half when the mistress inevitably blackmails you or forces the situation so you leave your wife for her instead- revealing the affair to your wife and thus giving her grounds for a YOUR FAULT divorce.

You may wish to secretly consult a lawyer if a celibate marriage is grounds for HER FAULT divorce in your state, but it's very unlikely. It will most likely be ruled no fault, which means you lose half.

The only way this turns out well for you is if your wife dies in an accident or voluntarily forefeits her claim to your estate.

I used to idolise women (which isn’t healthy either), but these days I know they’re flawed. As we all are I guess.

The real problem for me is respecting her views and opinions so much, but still believing, like you, that there’s something just not right in how she, as a woman, processes/rationalises the situation.

I agree I could forcibly shove my face in her Pussy regularly. But it doesn’t help with her “wanting” me.

I dunno. Maybe I’m just a giant pussy myself

But dude I actually really do love her. Our relationship isn’t based in sex.

Tbh it’s whats holding me back from taking a mistress. I figure - we’ll you’ve come this far without sex so what’s the harm in taking it one day at a time.

But I dunno if I’m short changing myself in the long run.

On net balance im happy with my relationship. There just a part of me that had died/is dying. And I don’t know how ethically/morally justified I am in trying to remedy it in traditionally unscrupulous ways.

I appreciate your legal views though. Thanks.

How old are these women and do they know your financial status?

Incidentally both about 5 years younger than me.

One has experience being a mistress before (to which she got pregnant to the guy...), the other I know quite well, and has offered to let me fuck her, but no kissing, because that’s for her husband.

Yes. You read that correctly.

Oh and they both assume in fairly well to do. But nothing certain.

But money hasn’t really come up. Yet.

I suspect with the second one, it wouldn’t. She’s a village girl at heart.

Are you asian?

No. I’m white. But I live in Tokyo.

Oh. well the first one either wants hapa baby or just child support and the second one at the very least wants that white cock and if she's a dumbass, wants hapa baby as well.

Are you married to a Japanese girl? You're white, and a citizen of Japan?

as long as you are a man you can sleep with as much women as you like and Sup Forums will high five you.
If you allow your women the same thing they will insult you and tell you its wrong and youre ruining society.

If you decide to do it , go for the one with a husband, the other one sounds like hassle. Also try to talk with your wife first if there's something that kills her drive. If she says no, propose something like an open marriage then. If she still doesn't agree, you can either decide to resist (moral option) or give it up at least knowing you tried all so less regrets(immoral option)

I suspect she’d prefer I go for prostitutes first.

And that’s probably fair, tbh.

I already go to massage places. I don’t get happy endings but I think she presumes I do. She sort of takes a don’t ask don’t tell attitude.

Some part of me thinks she’s signaling to me that if I choose to do that sort of thing, that’s my cross to bear and she doesn’t want anything to do with it.

But I agree. The one with the husband is the more stable option

maybe her presuming that you are already cheating is killing her sex drive? have you thought of couples counseling? are you fat or the same when you got married?

Fair comment. And maybe that’s true. But she lost her sex drive 6 months after the start of our relationship over 10 years ago.

I distinctly remember her making a comment to me that her previous bfs always complained about her lack of interest in sex, and me replying “are you kidding? I haven’t seen that at all”. Which at that point in the relationship was true.

But in retrospect I think it was her way of flagging to me that the famine was on the way.

And no I’m actually probably even better, physically, than I was 10 years ago.

She on he other hand, doesn’t really place much value on keeping fit and slim. She’s not fat, but y’know.

But like i said, I love her a lot.

Damn man you are in a pickle. women love honesty even if it makes them feel bad. tell her how you feel. have you thought about scheduling sex? I know it doesn't sound hot but it will clear up space for her to get ready. does she own toys? maybe try fore playing with her a bit? does she watch porn?

If you can see I’m in a pickle then I feel I’ve done a decent job of describing the situation. Thanks for taking the time to review with me.

I guess scheduling sex is an option. At this point just getting my rocks off with another human being in any capacity would work.

As for porn, she hates it. It’s the devil as far as she’s concerned. She hates me even talking about it, let alone watching it. She thinks it influences me in bad ways (which i think may hold some truth in the way it influences many people).

So. Kinda fucked up. She won’t give sex but doesn’t want me watching porn.

Rock and a hard place.

just women seeing an opportunity to jump on
>omg he's retired already
>now i odnt have to work either
>i jsut got to hop the dick

>has premarital sex but says porn is the devil
has she been to a doctor/OGGYN in a while? do you have kids? have you gone on a trip or anything romantic like that?

Probably right brother.

They say the test of a man is when he has everything.

The test of a women is when the man has nothing.

She was there in the latter

That would require her admitting she’s got the problem. Right now she believe I just need to work harder at romancing her.

When I try, she’ll always brush me away saying it tickles, or she’s tired, or whatever.

Trust me I’ve tried nearly 10 years.

honestly this just sounds like she doesn't love you anymore. do you think she still loves you? what does she show that she loves you? if she wants you to be more romatic I'd say buy her flowers or w/e interest she has and do it w/o the expectation for sex, do it because you love her. she'll pick up on that and see that you view her more than a sexual object and as a person.

Your wife is already cheating you. So you might as well get the infertile mistress.

Bro I give the lady massages form head to toe without any expectation of reciprocity.

Nada.

And that’s fine coz I’m happy to give it to her.

I buy flowers for her probably once a month.

Nada.

I’m sure she loves me. She’s just got this weird aversion to intimacy. Our relationship isn’t based on sex.

So I can either pucker up and suck it up.

Or risk destroying an otherwise good relationship by getting a mistress.

I rationalise it that way too.

But then wonder if I’m a cunt

honestly this may sound harsh but you have to "punish" her for acting like this. If you are letting her get away with this and showing that there are no repercussions for her actions then she will keep doing it. sort of like when you take back a cheater, they know they can get away with it and so will continue to do so. does she like to paint or write or do anything like that or a hobby? maybe get her interested with one, if she feels useless that might also be killing her sex drive. you never answered if you have kids or not. have you tried? if you didn't have kids after trying she might have fucked up tubes

guy from does she have any "male friends" does she have a ladies night or anything like that?

user, man up, grab your cock and fuck all thoes sewer rats out there, she in a sexless relationship with you because she is fucking someone else.

Just fuck the one with the husband. She's probably in the same boat. Can't get laid at home, needs action. If you don't satisfy your spouse's sexual urges it's only natural that they'll get it elsewhere.