Suicide thread. post your experiences with suicide, friends you've lost, times you almost did it...

suicide thread. post your experiences with suicide, friends you've lost, times you almost did it, why you stopped short of an hero.

I've been considering it daily for about a year now.

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>post your experiences with suicide
I killed myself. The end.

>I've been considering it daily for about a year now.
Less considering. More action.

My best friend did it a few months back. He's the only one close to me who actually went through with it though.

I've never really considered it myself. I wouldn't care too much if I died, but I dont dislike my life either.

naw. I've still got marketable skills and manipulate women into having sex with me occasionally but deep down I know:

>no girl will marry a Neet
>they all find out eventually
>if I start a family my children will be made into faggots
>I live in a world that wants me to kill myself and is hostile towards me

I feel I'll finally breakdown one day, but not today

Every day I daydream and see scenes of torture chambers play out in my head, flesh striping and distorting to the point I can't tell it's a person anymore and think about blowing my head off with a shotgun every single day. I've seen this shit for the past 8 years and to this day no one I know knows about this and just treats me as another normalfag like them.

my father starved himself to death, he was ill and psycho.

sorry man, that sucks. I hope hes in a better place

nice dubs, maybe lay off the shitty horror flix?

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he rebels by existing. I can respect that

Funny thing is I dont watch horror movies

what do you consume if anything? maybe horror movies might help then

how does one do this?

Nothing that would really warrant that.
I guess I'm just a nutjob

LOL rebels against what, you spastic.

bullshit it had to begin somewhere, that's not an answer

>how do people starve

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A society that rejected him.

Thanks man. We all hope he found his peace.

He was a genuinely intelligent and social guy who had a lot to live for and was always there for everyone. If only he had reached out to us, we could've been there for him as well.

Edgy memes aside, I encourage everyone in th e thread seriously considering suicide to seek help, or at the very least confide in someone and clear the air.

I was interested in thought process that led to it you dumb faggot

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I watched alot of war documentaries when I was like 8 and that's about the only movies I'll watch. Ever since then I've been obsessed with war stuff.

If you reject psychiatry help isn't really help but it's ((them)). I have faith the world will improve and want to live to see the victory
me too, military history is my shit. Theres a job market for people like us

I was suicidal when I was younger. I am 31 now. One night when I was 23 I had decided to end it. I downed a 5th of whiskey along with a new prescription of ambien (30 capsules), and a new prescription of trazadone (30 tablets). I woke up in the hospital 3 days later and was informed that I did, in fact, die. It was weird because I knew before they even told me. Idk how to explain it, but the world looked different. Everything was recognizable, but “new” in a weird way. I haven’t felt suicidal since. On an occasion a few years prior, I took a .22 rifle with me into the woods behind my parents house, sat against a tree, put the gun to my forehead, pulled the trigger. The thing jammed and I couldn’t bring myself to try again. All in all, I’m glad I’m still here.

wow that's crazy. Did life feel more valuable somehow? What makes you glad to still be here?

My old roommate killed himself while we were living together. He stole my gun, went into the bathroom, and shot himself behind the ear. I found him hours later when I got home from work.

I really don’t know how to explain it other than it was like I wasn’t looking through my eyes anymore. Somehoh the fulfillment of the act had shifted my perspective in a way I didn’t understand. The desire to die was just gone. I didn’t feel like life was any more valuable, I just didn’t see things the same anymore. The whole experience was freaky. After that I became a different person - started exercising regularly, got into mushrooms and trying to heal my psyche... it’s been a process. I think the act gave me some insight into self that I didn’t have prior.

>I murdered my roommate

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Maybe society was rebelling against him for being an asshole.

why did he do it you think?

>did you keep the gun

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I’m glad to be here because I find joy in life now. I have a family of my own, kids whom wouldn’t be here had I died for good... life is a struggle and full of suffering, but that’s what makes you appreciate and love the other end of the spectrum. You can’t have joy without also knowing sorrow, can’t know happiness without also knowing sadness...

Two cunts from my school killed themselves one with straight up hanging because he was bullied and the other was a douche "starving artist" type fag that decided to OD on heroin despite coming from a very well to do and moneyed family. Suffice to say that suicide is for pussies.

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>when natural selection goes into reverse

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This. Nothing of value is lost.

oh look I found one of your yearbook pics

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I can't deny that suicide helps our situation when cancerous people do it. But remember the establishment wants you to think YOUR the cancer

I’m paralyzed and often wish I could kill myself but I literally can’t

Please don't do it. My older brother committed suicide at 20 years old, it changed my life and my family's lives forever. You don't realize how many people you are affecting by doing this. Pic is him.

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>decide hanging is not a viable solution
>had the urge since 16
>almost 23 now
>son to a sexually and physically abusive father up until 9 or 10 and a narcissistic pillhead tiger mother

>just waiting to purchase a firearm to off myself but my state is conservative in beliefs yet liberal in action
>no gun shops
>diagnosed with ptsd and dissociative identity disorder by multiple doctors throughout life
I know the day will come. i just keep putting it off just for a little while longer. I hope everything gets better eventually. Optimism is all i have left. Any user out there just hold out for a little while longer!

Where are you? Maybe moving will help.

lel

its easy not to eat after 2 weeks
I went 2 months tho i dont know how i survived

Funny enough, my first reaction when the cops arrived was to
1. Tell them where he was
2. Establish my alibi
3. Let them know the gun was mine

I suspected murder, personally, because the ME told me that he shot himself at a downward angle, but there was a bullet hole in the ceiling. Also his car was missing.

I wish I knew. He was a loser, but a very private one. Had a very hard time making friends. Also, yes I did keep it. I got it back months later after the police investigation formally concluded. I had to clean it when I picked it up from evidence because it had dried blood all over and inside as well.

Says the guy whom will likely die alone and childless in his mother’s basement with a Mountain Dew and Cheetos still gripped in his hands.

trips of truth. he looks like a friendly guy, I'm sorry.
pretty sure nobody would gave a shit though, gf left me for nigger dyke and my best friend is a moocher

now that's a reason to kill yourself. does your dick work?
you could get laid tomorrow user

Natural selection only exists in nature. It doesn’t exist in a man made world where kids with autism, retardation, diabetes, cancer, obesity are all kept alive and continue to reproduce.

Holy fuck I got trips... That's him sending me a sign

The you got dubba dubz!

No I can’t feel anything below my chest and can’t use fingers

Shit. Really? What country? No assisted suicide?

my best friend might but I dunno. hes a jew and lives off me. pretty sure he knows I come on here and still hangs out with me. meh. I could laid tomorrow. Maybe they'll release Tesla's free energy and change the world forever tomorrow. I want to be there

>
>naw. I've still got marketable skills and manipulate women into having sex with me occasionally.

Then you don't really want to kill yourself. You just like to be a depressing cucklord. Can you anons please stop spamming you want to kill yourself and actually commit? Otherwise just shut the fuck up and live your mediocre lives like everyone else.

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go fuck yourself, you can still get laid and make money and feel empty you tard

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No you have to be terminally ill for assisted suicide I’m just permanently disabled I would have to hire someone to help do it

if your dick still works life is worth living

Yeahh, Elon Musky...you was all time

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Exactly. But what the fuck are you complaining about when there's hundreds of thousands of people who are doing much worse than you and would actually kill to be in your position? "Oh man i have everything i really need in my life and then some but I'm just so empty inside. Let me just waste it all and kill myself like the dumb bitch i am" come on now. I don't want to hear that bullshit. Especially if you're fucking white. You anons make me want to puke

It does not work and I can’t feel anything even if it did

Samefag here. It's like you guys want your lives to be something special when life itself isn't. You're just like everyone else

It’s actually not an easy task to kill your self without moving or implicating a care giver

I lost my gf recently I worked really hard to get with her and loved her a lot. She was all I wanted. My family is all fucking dead. My friends from childhood are all dead or in jail
I have flashbacks about Iraq every fucking night. kill yourself you little faggot you don't know anything
damn dude. I'm sorry. That's just awful. tried astral projection?

My grandmother did it in the garage with her car and a hose. I never knew her and don't remember the funeral. I have one image of her in a blue housecoat with buttons at the back, facing away at the sink washing dishes. I would have been 3.

My uncle wrote a bunch of $5k checks to people he felt hadn't gotten their chance in life and then went out to the woodshed and blew his brains out. I was in college.

I've been really fucking depressed this season, wife wants a divorce but won't pull the trigger so it's a limbo of shit. I'm also just fucking done with being in pain and sick 24/7. Getting old fucking sucks. Honestly Diablo 4 has given me hope for the future. I know it's misplaced but it's made the urge to kys myself less.

The real reason I don't do it is because I have nieces and nephews and my own children. The true horror of suicide is not having that person around as an adult. People are very different in their 30s than any time before in life, I would have given anything to know my uncle, adult to adult, really understand him instead of just seeing him through the lens of old letters, writing and the "kid safe" version of yourself that you have to present to nieces and nephews when they're young. I would have also liked to know my grandmother, on my dad's side. My other grandmother was fucking amazing and just to have that relationship while growing up would have really helped.

So I'm not going to rob my kids, nor my nieces and nephew of the opportunity to know me, adult to adult. I just worry because at some points it gets so bad I've looked for a gun, and I know that it only takes a split second to forget that there are reasons to not pull the trigger.

Remember that I love you all, and you're like my second family. Please don't kys, the long term effects are the real pain death causes.

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plus how dare you being my race into this you nigger. niggers and jews are so racist they don't even believe white people suffer. Fucking cancerous nigger shit stain

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No it’s weird you say that though I did have a feeling to read astral dynamics I guess I should

damn dude. I respect that. I lost one of my good friends that way and his kids aren't doing well. preciate the contribution

What is even worse is I was a sex addict

Some of the best occultists/spiritual experts are paralyzed people. also some of the best gamers

I could imagine why if I had the will power I could meditate all day

a girl in my high school hung herself after prom. i was a freshmen and she was a sophmore. Another girl in my grades little brother hung himself after getting caught with weed and getting kicked off the football team. fucking sad.

i dont want to do it myself, but sometimes I feel like it will be my only option. i dont want to live a long life lonely as fuck. im 27 but as long as my parents are alive I probably wont do it at least.

>.22
>put the gun to my forehead, pulled the trigger
that's a good way to become stupid not die

I played russian roulette with a .357 once, because everyone always told me I was "lucky". I spun it closed it and cocked it, then looked under the hammer and there was the shell all lined up. I wrote a short story about how the real luck was that I was smart enough not to pull the trigger, and the english teacher wrote that's horrible on the top and gave me a C, missing the entire point. That was back before columbine and shit kids would face now if they wrote something like that.

after watching both parents do chemo I know for a fact I'm ending it the minute I get diagnosed. cancer is a death sentence

>did you keep the gun
not him but my father still has the gun my uncle killed himself with.

I bet it was good I'd read. normie teacher was a normie, they hate anything good

I'd keep it. I don't know why but I would but I don't like the idea of somebody else having it

there might be a cure in your lifetime you know, shit is progressing faster than ever.

>pretty sure nobody would gave a shit though, gf left me for nigger dyke and my best friend is a moocher
temporary problems don't need a permanent solution

if you can get laid succesfully then fuck off...your an outsider here and you are just a normie with no reason to die.

>state
>no gun shops
I'm sorry you're a fucking retard who hasn't even tried. Fucking WALMART sells guns in America. post a major intersection, I bet there is a real gun shop in 10 miles.

who all wants to do a suicide pact for new years day?

what happened?

yeah that happens when everyone tells kid you that you can be anything you want, that you're special.

>my gf recently I worked really hard to get with her
found the malfunction

I've been here since 2008 newfag, I'm an incel most of the time unless I LARP like a beast, don't hate me because I'm a good liar. I'll never be able to be in love or have a gf because I'm not a normie, eat a million cocks you cuck

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same, cept i did get laid in 2009 but haven't since then.

can't disagree there, I should've known a normie is incapable of love

Yea I’ve thought about that I’m only 28 cross my fingers lol

we lost my mother in law, kids nana, to cancer this year. this is going to be first christmas without her. she was diagnosed stage 4 of the everything and chemo gave us an extra ~2 years which I hope the kids will always cherish. I feel you though, living your life sick is no way to live.

whores help

i'm not a normie so i don't know how the fuck to even talk to a whore or even find one.

no, normies just date and find somebody. they don't obsess over "the one" and spend years winning her over. there are half a billion women in china alone, yet you still think she was "the one". it's fucking pathetic.

My Ex girlfriend killed herself while I was out of the town for a few months to work, because we had debts. Changed my life completely. Weird thoughts kept creeping inside my mind convincing me to join her. Not that I wanted to die, but more that I wanted to join her. First time in my live that I realized what it meant to lose someone. That I wouldn't see her ever again broke me and ever since then I've donned the SJW cloak in hopes of preventing that other people will have to go through that.

Suicide is worthless, but if I'd go I'd do it jumping out of a plane or something else that's awesome.
If you got to go you might as well make the best out of it.
Ever since then, I try to keep myself occupied with things that are awesome.
Being dead means that I won't be able to do or watch awesome things.
Plus the saying is that pain is temporary and they're right, you just need to find something cool to do or think about while you're healing.
Try to figure out what's wrong and fix it. you might never fix it, but what matters is that you keep trying as if you're on the edge of having fixed it.

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chin up, then. at least you can still do that.

I shattered my c5 vertebrae in a freak occurrence

there is this place called las vegas. prostitution is legal and you can pay with a credit card. if you can manage to shop at a whole foods you can get laid. you just have to actually do it.

theres a lot of books that can teach you this, many Anons know it and some are even masters. I learned about the craft here actually. start with the game by niel strauss, being user is no excuse for being a cuck
at least I tried, cuck

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>go out with a bang

I like that

>go to las vegas
nigga you think i'm made of money?

/spoiler i'm not

I don't read though, I was never taught how to read properly or learn properly. Reading comments on Sup Forums is fucking easy, but reading an actual book, i don't know how.

>in a freak occurrence
which would be the thing I'm actually asking about. pretty easy to guess you severed something in your upper spine. don't forget to say how old you were.

also for the record I'd totally hang out with you. I have friends for their minds, not their bodies. I hope you have some people that aren't family in your life.

how much do you think it costs. what the fuck else are you doing with your money?

>tried once
>gave up when it didn't work
yeah, you're my hero you fucktard