What are the best ways to coom so that I don't leave much of a mess...

What are the best ways to coom so that I don't leave much of a mess? It is very clean in the shower since it just flushes down the drain, but I can't wear my VR headset then. Using tissues and holding them out in front of my dick like a Mexican bull fighter is risky; if cum lands on my hands I get grossed out. Onaholes are likewise nasty to clean up afterwards, though I admit I have never used one. Should I just cum onto the tile floor and scrub it afterwards when it dries? What are your methods?

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Just cum into an old shirt bro

coom in sock you mong

Cum in toilet

Easy solution I like to call
"Blast shield"
Or
"The Pig in a blanket"
There's 2 ways to perform this operation
Let's just call it
Option A and Option b and Option c
Option A is my 2nd preferred method. Find something to jerk off to, SU Gem porn for myself, get nice and hard and re adjust penis to be comfortable while its still inside your underwear and shorts. Once it feels nice, jerk off by grabbing your penis from the outside of the clothing and use it as a sort of blast shield. Continue until finished and Youre done. Cum stain usually fades away quickly and if it doesn't usually 1 wash does the trick.
Option B is my least favorite, take off your underwear and pants, get dick hard, and wrap napkins/tp/paper towels around either entire penis or just head. Jerk off and boom, instant blast shield.
Option C my favorite but you have to be uncircumcised. Jerk off normally but right before you cum pull your foreskin all the way up over the head, pinch the tip, and grab a napkin, or just stick your dick back in your underwear, release grip on foreskin and bam instant blast shield

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Is that what people do? Articles of clothing? I may try it out
Can't use VR in bathroom
You have put a lot of thought into this. I currently use a modified option A

eat it

Not OP, but i have tasted my own cum before. It is true what they say about different flavors. The first couple times i did it, it tasted really sour and salty because i ate a lot of salty foods. I swear one fuckin time I drank a shit ton of milk or ate a lot of sweets and my fuckin milk was sweet I promise

>i promise
made my sides hurt, thanks user

Well I just cum in my gf's mouth and she spits it in a tissue/swallows
pretty much just cleans itself

Wear a condom while you jack off

its true. but also for clean up its the easiest with zero evidence. milk and fruits are great. after consumption your body can reuse the sperm so when you jerk off later your ph balance stays level and you wont have to take Tums after eating a Hawaiian style Little Caesar's hot and ready

I use a small glass bowl. Easy.

Gay
nice solutions, but these are too much of an investment.

if its gay to eat your own sperm its gay to stroke your own dick

well I mean if my girls not around I'll just cum into a tissue

wait so you just cum in your boxers ? and you just stay like that?
man wtf

Not him but I cum in my boxers, then quickly remove them, wipe up what sticks to my body with a tissue, and leave the boxers to sit overnight. Finally, I wash them the next day.

but why? whats so bad about just shooting into a tissue and making a little tissue ghost?

I don't know how, I have never tried. But these trips tell me I really should. Do I double layer it?

just rub it into your skin. the sperm exfoliates on microscopic level

you need 2 layer min of 2 ply depending.
when your about to cum just drape it over your dick and then close you hand around it but leave enough room in the top so it doesnt rip and shoot everywhere
bonus points if you draw a little face on the tissue , end result should look like this

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Gem Porn/ Cum in boxers gut and guy here,

I only jerk off once I know I'm not leaving the house for the rest of the day. Although jizzing in your undies has its perks, it does has its downsides
+perks+
Easy cleanup
Little to no evidence
Quick dry
No waste of paper
Can do anywhere
Reusable

-drawbacks-
Can be uncomfortable
Can make you a walkin fish air freshener (cum can smell bad mixed with ball sweat)
Can give you swamp balls
If ejaculate too much, can leak thru the boxers and thru the pants / shorts.
That's why i usually just use option C: jerk off and then pinch my foreskin closed as soon as I cum and then go and get a napkin and shoot my load once ready
This also has perks and drawbacks
+perks+
Easy to do
Allows you to shoot load when ready
Low mess
Enhanced sensation than option a or b

-Drawbacks-
MUST HAVE FORESKIN
Less powerful orgasm because I don't know why it just doesnt feel as good
Not as discreet
Can make your foreskin hurt
Jizz can get stuck on the foreskin but instead of acting like a lubricant it just builds up

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pls expand in cum building up

Smegma .....

How do you guys coom so hard? Mine just dribbles out unless I've been edging for an hour+

while youre jerking off have an electroshock therapy pad on your gooch. when you coom the zaps propel your cum much faster and harder like you wouldnt believe

2 tips young padawan
1. Drain your cock
Jerk off 5-10 times a day for at least 3-7 or more days. Your dick will become adjusted and start to produce more sperm to keep up with the demands. Then, rest for a couple days, 2 might work, I usually can't hold out longer than 3, and then coom as hard as you can. It will also help strengthen your erection.

2. Find what helps you coom. I remember I had got a bracelet at school one time and it was basically a rubber band. One night I just wrapped it around both my cock and balls and not only does that help me get harder it helps my sperm shooting go up.

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that sounds like something I don't want my coommate to find

Sock on dick, stimulate your nipples untill you coom

Stimulating nipples doesn't so anything for me but now I have a use for my socks without a matching pair!

In little girls nappys. They get changed frequently anyway so zero mess

lol. i collect it in a small container or i sploosh all over the floor

How do you wash out the container? Cum sticks to it I bet so youd have to wipe it with your hand or a rag which will get progressively more crispy.

i wait will it gets dry to scrape it and sell as cocaine. jk its an old battery box the plastic ones i just throw it away

Just cum into a tissue?

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This. Just use an old tshirt you don't care about and wash it once in a while. Happy cooming.

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And to think of all the clothing I could have used for this endeavor rather than giving it to the donations.

>Put a bag near your bed
> have a good time
>Turn and shoot
Put the trash bag out weekly unlike my nasty teenager self used todo.
Cleaning it off the floor is peasant teir.

Eat it fag

Plastic bag? That sounds like the most economical option thus far!

Why not a fleshlight or onahole? It's just like a handheld pussy just cum inside and wash when you're done

I don't want to wash or touch my cum. The slimy feeling against my fingers would be gross. I have read that people spend more time with onahole prep and cleanup than actually fapping. that is when I can see it isnt for me

Uhh ok it's worth trying though, they're pretty cheap and a huge improvement over your hand, especially with VR.

Ok I have Amazon Prime for 2 more weeks. Any recommendations?

Anything under $30 is good to start. They all have slight differences, might make you cum faster than others.

Something with texture inside

I usually cum through one of my neighbors mail slots in their front door at like 2am Kek
Done it like 4 times now