Walk into your bedroom

>Walk into your bedroom
>You find Billie Ellish standing there
Wat do?

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Gawrsh, I don't know.
What were some of the clever answers from this same thread yesterday?

I blow her fucking head with a shotgun

i wouldnt even recognize her

Sexually assault her

Who the fuck is that? Kick it out.

Hit her to death with every peice of furnature i have then find a plastic bucket and acit to dispose of her

how tf she come into my house, boot it

/
She is so ugly I can't even believe she is popular.

why are you obsessed with her? Youve been posting this shit for months, just jack off to her and fuck off

Call the cops, obviously

Beat that entitled bitch face right off her.

Ask her to leave. She's fat, pretentious and not all that talented.

Come join us user, you don't have anything better to do anyways, right?

discord gg/bVvJDeG

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41765168

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>Tell her "Hey, want to smoke with me downstairs and hang out before you teleport back home?"

>" 'sup."

Isn't that the fucking dancing kid?

Man he sure leaned into being a girl

Put out my cigarette on her cheek

Ask to see penis

Ask her if she'd act in my ARG. It would have so much credibility if I could land someone like her.

I want an emotionless bj from her. Just cold dead looking eyes staring back

I'd probably start fucking that soulless face of hers

This. Her gayfag brother is behind literally all of her success. When you realize he uses her as a mouthpiece for his lyrics and beats since he has no appeal himself, that bad guy song is just blazing actually faggotry. Sort of like how Cardi B can be replaced by literally thousands of nigger spics if allowed, her and her vocal fry singing could be too.

ask her to leave and give her a garbage bag full of prozac for good harvest until/if she comes back again next year

The persona currently known as "Billie Eilish" is one of the many forms of my ancient adversary, Angrimainyu.

I must seek him out and challenge him to a series of riddles which I have memorized, since the wizened scribes were generous enough to share them with me.

Ultimately, a battle of wits and words will ensue, and I do hope I would best him.

I have already succeeded once and the world still stands.

If I were to fail this time... Well we should hope that never happens. For all our sakes.

Grab my 12 gauge from behind the door and shoot her for illegal entry of my home

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turn 360 and walk away

film a porntape with her and earn millions of dollars

Make her pay me, to not kick her teeth in.

Start the whoopie machine.

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>I have already succeeded once and the world still stands

Story?

I would detain her myself, then call the police to come and arrest her for stealing my dog's Xanax.

>be me
>be 1977
>trip to iran
>loving the place
>loving the people
>loving the culture and history
>visiting old zoroastrian fire temple
>gazing into unreadable text of old stone tablet
>can somehow read timeless cuneiform words
>ask my friend who/what angra mainyu is
>his persian face goes pale
>"most westerners don't know that name."
>reply i didn't but it's written on this tablet innit?
>"you should not be able to read that." he says
> old man's voice from behind us:
I allowed him read it.
>turn to see grizzled old persian man
>face looks centuries old
>he has a cane
>body looks swole af, cut like marble
>an evil essence radiates from him
>anger, fear, despair, toxic ex, you name it
By saying my name while standing on this holy ground, you have summoned me to this time and place.
Being here now, I have extended a small bit of my power moments into the past, giving you the understanding necessary to read my name.
So did you summon me? Or did I summon myself? But no matter.
>you'd think it sounds silly
>just some old guy talking nonsense
>but if you were there, you'd know
>up to this point, the most terrifying thing i had experienced
>he steps out of the temple
>into the sunlight
>dumbfounded, we remain inside, petrified
Oh, do join me out here! The weather is absolutely lovely!
>he snaps his fingers

>unzips
>dongcopterinstensifies.jpg
>proclaim aloud
>"So you're a tough guy
>Like it really rough guy
>Just can't get enough guy
>Chest always so puffed guy?"

>invisible pressure pushes us outside
I have been gone far too long.
>he closes his eyes
>takes a deep breath
What have you apes pumped into the air? Burning the world's blood to race to and fro?
>he looks around
The baubles and gadgets your race have forged in this day are quite impressive.
Not quite on par with the accomplishments of those on that continent I sank last week... Or was it millennia ago? Bah! Linear time!
>turn to face him
>truly take in his form
>curiosity and defiance overtaking fear
Oh? And now you face me?
Challenge accepted!
>what?
>im not challenging him
>don't say that out loud
>doesn't matter
Oh, but you are challenging me.
I can't see all your monkeybrain thoughts, foreigner, but I can feel what's in your heart, better than you can!
You wish to know what I'm up to. You can sense it is in direct conflict with your arbitrary values and world view, so you think I must be stopped.
>hes right
>i didnt even realize i thought that
>but now I feel it
>he must be stopped
"He must be stopped," you're thinking. Understandable.
You see, I am here to destroy the world. I intend to bring an end to all that exists. And you are the one who brought me here. Therefore, you are the only one who can stop me.
By the ancient laws, you are to be given an opportunity to stop me. So, I offer you this: You must propose a task I cannot perform, or a question I cannot answer.
But know that I am the most powerful being you have ever met. I have decimated civilizations. I have annihilated entire races. I am the reason all life on Mars is gone.
Stars have dead worlds orbiting them, worlds that were "rich" with art and music, of colors you will never see and melodies you will never hear. The light that radiated from those stars as those beings' voices fell silent is just reaching your world now.
So know that I am not to be trifled with.
>know this thing means business
>im not just talking to a scary old man
>this is a god
>beyond good and evil

Time to be a... bad guy;)

>likely toying with me
>probably has no intention of letting this world continue to exist
So, what will it be? What is your unanswerable question? What is your impossible task?
What is it that you would have me attempt and fail?
>fear collapses
>just anger
Yes! Yes! Get angry! Haha! "Anger!" In your language, you even fashioned a word after my name! My legacy lives on!
Now, let rage fill you! You wish to stop me? Well, here is your one chance! What is your challenge?
>cant even think
>rage, despair, hopelessness
>think back to middle school
>1960s
>recently integrated school system
>be only mixed race kid
>too many colors in one person
>black, white, asian, hispanic, middle eastern...
>white kids dont want to hang with me
>black kids dont want to hang with me
>white kid tells me to kill myself
>becomes a chant
>"heinz 57, kill yourself!"
>wish i had back then

be extremely polite about offering her a joint, be realy realy frendly and all that, get her extra relaxed and comment all sorts of inane shit and offer her a line of blow and be extra nice about it, and not even stop being nice and polite as i force her down on my mqttrase and shove my dick in her young tight cunt, be extra polite and nice about raping her roughly, be rela yrela ynice about ramming it into her so she cant walk straight for a week

>wish id ended it, rather than facing the end of the world
>now billions will die because of me
>"kill yourself" i mutter, with a resigned laugh
What...?
>look over at old man
>his human face bears fear and surprise
>it clicks
>say it louder
>"kill yourself! that's your task! destroy yourself! cease to exist!"
>old man gapes at me
>look of rage settles into disbelief
>disbelief gives way to raucous laughter
Bahahahahaaa! You clever, mixed-up, half-breed son of a whore! Congratulations!
You just saved the lives of four billion worthless apes like yourself.
Bravo!
>shakes his head, still laughing
>actually seems impressed
Well, you have done one hell of a job besting me! You are the savior of humanity. You are a hero. People will sing your praises. They will remember you as the man who stopped Angrimainyu from ending the world!
>think this must be a trick
Haha, no, of course nobody will know of this. Well, except for your native friend here, but nobody will believe either of you if you were to speak of this.
But never mind that. I came here to destroy, and destroy I shall.
>he starts walking away from us,
This world is safe for now... As safe as it ever was from your kind.
>he looks back at us
Word to the wise: I wouldn't stay in this country much longer.
I have work to do.

>he disappears into small crowd
>friend and I know we can never mention this
>friend converts to zoroastrianism
>don't convert, but study the texts
>seek out obscure zoroastrian lore
>spend next 40 years preparing myself
>tfw angrimainyu is back
>tfw i know what i must do

Wish me luck, guise!

Good job walking into her again you retard

Good luck man!

Wish her a belated Happy Birthday.

kill her this bitch retard af