Feels thread?
>Be me
>Kids are early 20s and don't live with me anymore
>My oldest doesn't talk to me but whatever they can get a hold of me if they wanted to
>He told me told me back a few years that he was one of those transgenders
>Don't agree with that kinda lifestyle but whatever
>He lives with a few people in a flat but they never talk and he doesn't work as far as I know so I assume doesn't leave his room there much
>Decide to try and reconnect
>Decide on lunch somewhere, would be good to get him outside
>Give him a call but goes straight to voicemail
>Whatever I'll just go to his flat
>Knock on door, no answer
>Eventually some skinny Asian kid answers the door who I've never seen before
>Some flatmate.jpg
>Ask if he's there
>Guy says probably, he hasn't seen 'her' in a few days but knock on 'her' door to check
>He points to the door
>Walk to room
>Knock and don't get any reply
>Call out, no reply
>Open door because he's probably on his computer with headphones in
>He's lying on his bed
>He has really long hair now and looks quite odd, looks like eye makeup is smudged and running down face
>Go to ask why he's asleep in the middle of the day
>Realise he isn't conscious
>Empty bottles of vodka/gin on desk
>Bunch of medication sheets on desk with all the tabs missing as well as empty bottles of meds
>Fuckfuckfuck
>Go to call emergency services knowing that he's already gone
>Face is cold and isn't breathing
>Check arm, no pulse
>Yell out for flatmate, ask if he knew anything about what was going on
>He just stands in the doorway looking shocked and going pale
>Eventually ambulance arrives but they just confirm what I already suspected
>He didn't tell anyone he was gonna do it
>Later, find file on his PC explaining how he hated himself and his body
>Thinks he won't ever be accepted by society
>Find bit about me
>Just wanted approval but never got it
Did I kill my son Sup Forums? It's almost a year since and I can't get the image of that day out of my head.
