Be me

>be me
>32
>autistic with several underlying mental illnesses
>self medicated with alcohol for a decade and finally quit in February but relapsed 5 times and went through medical detox 4. Last time nearly overdosed on 6 beers and a half mg of buspar.. had to force myself not to pass out and drink a Red Bull cause I kept nodding off
>can’t hold a job longer than 3 months
>can’t deal with close relationships
>no friends
>dad gives me his rental house in Florida because he knows what a loser I am and puts me on a disability check of 1500 a month
>body hurts so bad I can barely get out of bed
>severe gastritis and lower abdominal pain
>Prilosec and sucralfate no longer working for stomach
>hurts to sit up long enough to drive a car
>no health insurance make too much money for Medicaid
>mom coming into town tomorrow to visit. Can’t even get up long enough to clean. House is a wreck, I’m a wreck
>no furniture to sit on and nothing to do and expected to host my mother for a week
>post acute withdrawals giving me constant migraines
>no quality of life
>sitting outside of church having such a massive panic attack I can’t even go in

I don’t normally post on Sup Forums but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do anymore. I came down here to work for the post office, pay my debt off and start a new life. I immediately joined a church and started playing guitar on the worship team. Got kicked out for being a sperg. Job fired me for being a sperg. Bills are piling up. I have no ability to pay any of them. Don’t have energy to take care of myself or my house anymore.

I’m at the point where I no longer see a future for myself or anything positive coming from my life. I’m a burden on everyone and functionally retarded. I don’t know what to do.

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Ok

Do.not.kill.yourself.

My dude, I've been in that dark hole before.
Keep fighting the good fight and don't let r-tards persuade you otherwise.

Start slow, 25 jumping Jack's every morning to get your heart flowing and feel vigorous.
Take a warm shower and clear your head.
Become a mentor, get mentored.
There's always a way my friend.
All I can say is try to get the help for the mental illness. That shit bogs you down more than anything. Don't let your mind stop you from at least trying to grow as an individual.
Remember l, trees take years to grow from a seedling.

God speed,
Seedling

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>OD on half a mg buspirone with 6 beers

HAHAHAHA

That shit is no better than placebo

I want to get better but how do I get mental health help. I can’t afford to see doctors every week and none of the medication I’ve ever been prescribed has worked. I’m not going to kill myself that would be the most selfish thing I could do to my family that has done nothing but help me.

It may have also had something to do with the week worth of Ativan in my system from detox. I got out and started going into DTs the following night. I could normally drink 15-20 and I passed out cold from 6 on the floor with my clothes on. Woke up and couldn’t keep my eyes open.

see, just do 25 jumping jacks and you'll be cured of autism! never ask normies for advice because they're braindead fucking morons

What are your "several underlying mental illnesses".

You sound like you just have a personality disorder.

Depression
Generalized anxiety
Post traumatic stress disorder
Hypervigilance
Adult ADHD
Obsessive Complusive (the real kind where I have ticks and obsess over negative thoughts like having a heart attack if I don’t do things in a certain order or wash the same clothing 5 times in a row)

never give up user
get fit while looking for a job
go to another church
find job
get wife
become free of finance at 37
procreate, have 3 children min
own a firm and farm, be autonomous

everything except the gastritis sounds nice to me. Just dont trust docs with that. Inform yourself about healthy and basic (ph) food and drink water. Try to get rid of sugar.

Your mom is a normie.
Getting blood flowing is the first step to waking the fuck up.
Not a cure all for head cases you twit.
Now, quietly sit there and eat your cheetos and fap, tubby boi

May the God of hope fill your hearts and be with you all. There seems to be a lot of suffering displayed on the Chans.

Matthew 11:28-29
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

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But it’s my autism that fucks my life up the most. I’m too sensitive to everything. Someone with something as simple as a harsh voice could bother me so much that I have a fit and can’t speak or do anything. So I clam up and leave. That’s usually why I lose jobs.

Thanks. I’m waiting for the 10:30 service. I did find another church and I’m supposed to be auditioning for the worship team soon... have already played bass in a few services. Maybe things will get better.

The low energy is from poor sleep and nutrition. Both are related to the gastritus. Learn to cook and start a low FODMAP diet. Force yourself to exercise regularly as well. It is important for digestion. Our bodies aren't made to site around anymore than they are made to live in space. Make these changes and you will be less depressed, have clarity of though and less anxious which will make it easier to fave your problems instead of pretending they don't exist. Best of luck.

Never use any medication they give you. Medicaments are there to hold you in a wheel of sickness. One thing may get better but you will get other things cuz of it. Always medicate with natural things and vitamins. If your body has all the vitamins it needs you wont be depressed or have any pain. The human body is capable of healing almost anything but our food nowadays is very bad.

>post thread with frogface

kys

I have been drinking probiotic beverages every morning and eating nuts and dried fruits as snacks. Had a rotisserie chicken for the last 3 dinners. Trying to get my vegetables in. I know how to cook I just couldn’t bring any kitchen shit with me when I moved from Colorado in my car. I’m feeling a little better today after eating at home for a few days.

You are ............. RETARDED

they are but that is what a lot of meds do. It's not intentional, but a byproduct.

What did your parents do to u? Sounds like u have serious childhood "trauma".

Fuck off retard

>Can't afford it.
If u can afford alcoholism u can afford therapy 2 to 4 times a month.
Stop being a retard

Please stop. Ur dumb

Deep introspect will reveal that religion is the root cause of mental illness

Did u just make all that shit up?

I have self medicated myself with Adderall for a year now and I was really depressed before I started taking it. Now I have my ups and downs but im more functional. I used to take the medication when I was young but then stopped after I understood that I didn't understand. Now that I know how the medication affects me I am able to safely use it to better who I am.

most nuts and dried fruits are actually bad for digestion. Rotisserie chicken is good. If you like salty/sweet/oily foods try to stack on salty foods first then oily if you need something a little tastier. Try to cut back on sweet things, but make sure your food taste good or else you won't stick with it. I'm serious about the low FODMAP diet. It changed my life.

Nope I almost had my life ruined by gastritis. I was failing at everything and constantly fucking up. Changed my diet and now life feels like easymode. I never realized how hard everyday tasks really were for me when I wasn't sleeping and in constant pain.

I also take adderall when I fall into deep depression even though my prescription is for ADHD. Taking it every day really fucks with your head. Your brain isn't meant to be overclocked 24/7 but an occasional jump-start is sometimes what you need.

Eat your own shit.

What is your dosage? I always pour some out of the pill so that it doesn't completely fuck with my head. I've also learned how to not build a resistance to it by taking breaks from it and then going back to 20mg. Take a steady amount don't go too high.

I know it will fuck with your head no matter what, however, when I took my break from it a while ago I thought I would figure out how to live with it completely. I've learned that the pros outweigh the cons. I have moments of depression due to the medication, and that's good because it motivates me. I never had severe depression off the medication, only while on it. Im in school and preforming 100% better, and every test score I get back boosts my mood. Also I work out like a fucking beast while on the meds. Also I started to do hobbies that I lost while off the medication. The pros outweigh the cons right now and I don't feel like I have suffered horrible permanent damage.