So my wife won't suck dick, is a horrible kisser...

So my wife won't suck dick, is a horrible kisser, gives a boring handjob and is absolutely not into any kind of ass play. Honey, there's a reason why I can't start hard for you. Its because you are pathetic in bed. I have more fun jerking off to pornhub.

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fuck her pussy like a real man you whiny limp dick

ok thanks for the blog post op, we really care.
also
>wife
>falling for the jewish scheme that is marriage

I feel ya user. Same situation. She's great outside of the bed tho.

Ive seen that dick on here before thats not you.
Why did you marry her then? You would have been nailing her long before you married her to know shes a dead fish in bed

Dinner is cooked, bills are paid and the laundry and grocery shopping is always done in a timely fashion. It's a shame too, as she is in great shape, but sadly has no clue how to use herself in bed.

She was great for a while. Lately, she's been really lame.

Tell her that

hast thou ever considered the possibility that it isn't her that's the problem, but you?
maybe she's waiting for you to take the initiative or broach the idea of bringing different shit in that neither of you have tried.
or maybe you're just boring her now and she doesn't feel like putting the effort in.
idk man.
like what do you want us to tell you - divorce your wife because she is bad at sex now?
and have you even talked to her about all this?

fuck her sister then

>critisizing a woman
Clearly a virgin

That’s because she’s getting it better somewhere else. Sorry dude she ain’t into you anymore.

Told her last night, after I went totally limp as she was trying to ride me that I'm going to buy her a dildo. Then she can be as selfish as she wants.

Mine is a fatty, lost interest after birth.

Bro. YOU ARE BETA BUCKS. She just married youfor the purpose of being a provider. Harsh blackpill

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Her sister is a pig

I feel bad for the other guy

Get off Sup Forums and live a real life. She sounds like she’s a good woman and online porn has given you unrealistic expectations. Most of the shit online is a gross exaggeration. The stuff that’s real is usually that of a crack whore/meth addict. Don’t ruin your life on crazy false expectations.

Feel ya user.
Same shit here. She is great mum and perfect house wife tho. Sex is exactly same for last 9 years.

Worse oart is she thinks its great and there is bo problem at all.

>OP is married
>has had sex
>has touched a woman
Kek

Nah. She’s actually into him. He’s getting the good sex. She’s purposely bad with you because she doesn’t want it. You’re the paycheck, he’s the pleasure.

Because she finds you boring and uninteresting and all you want is sex. She doesn't care about you as much as the effort you put on the table other than sex.

sounds like you married someone you hate, which is a real big white boomer move

you should leave before you beat her to death, pretending it's her "fault"

pretty sure she swallows all of tyrone's load and even begs for more while he stuffs a plug in her ass

‘Crazy false expectations’ like expecting your wife to put your dick in her mouth once in a while?!

I'm not a violent person, nor have I ever thought about hurting her. I have however, wondered what my life would be like if she died from a car accident or cancer, etc. I mean, a $2 million life insurance policy will get me some high end hookers who know how to fuck.

Married in the same situation. I’ve been fantasizing about meeting another guy like yourself, so we help each other out. I’ve never done anything with another guy, but curious especially if I’m getting some relief too.

Some women just arent that into it. My wife is the same. Sure it's frustrating sometimes, but the goods outweigh the bads. Gonna get my wife real stoned then shove a plug up her ass and bite her nipples till they bleed later. I consider that her punishment for being so vanilla. Maybe you should do the same.

Sexual would be more fun and feel better if you weren’t cut lol

About 10 years ago she stopped sucking my cock. That's when I discovered craigslist and now doublelist. I've hooked up, probably 100 times and got my cock sucked, amazing blowjobs to completion by married men.

Maybe just eat her out more often. I bet when you guys have sex she doesnt orgasm. Women are queens and you better get on your knees and eat her pussy.

When I do eat her out, instead of moaning, she makes really weird sounds. It's a major turnoff

Things you should consider before you buy that rock and sign the paper work.

I’ve given up trying to go down on her, she always says not tonight or it’s not the right time etc . I’d gladly go down on her if it was reciprocated

then why the fuck would you marry her
what a dumbass lol

Some women change literally years into marriage, virgin

lol just get a boyfriend, he'll suck for free, it won't cost you half your paycheck

Like I said before, dinner is and has always been cooked, laundry is always done. Bills are always paid. Outside of her pathetic presence in bed, she's actually a great wife.

She makes more than me, has a nice pension and great benefits. And cooks, makes dinner and grocery shops and does laundry

I’m not going gay just for a blowjob

A woman turning down oral pleasure is 95% cheating on you. They absolutely love that shit. Unless the real twist is that your sex is garbage

Technically, if you're just laying back getting your dick sucked, is it really gay?

What a shitty, shallow, pitiful excuse for a human being you are.

Death is inevitable

Spoken like a guy who’s never had to face up to the fact he may never get his dick sucked again in his life

No I can understand that, but you have lost all sympathy when you say shit like this,
>She's actually a great wife
but that's after saying that you would be fine with her dying in a car crash so you can take the money and go hire prostitutes with it.
What the fuck is wrong with you. You obviously just don't really care about her at all, I'm really curious why you got married in the first place if that's the case.

I'm here with you bro. My new gf just moved in and I'm regretting it. I jerked off this morning before she woke up and enjoyed every sec of it. Way better than her letting me hit plain vanilla style. Shits boring.

When I do stay hard, I'll just fuck her so long and hard that she gets raw. Then I just pull out and leave the room.

Snook snookie uhnt oof ooff

I can identify with this. I jerk off to pornhub etc way more than I have sex with my girl. Gotta admit her pussy feels good that’s about the only thing that’s better with her, but porn has better variety and way less effort

All those things sounds pretty well

It's easy to convey different messages on the internet than our true feelings. Op loves his womern but wants her to bob on his knob once a year.

I can keep it hard and edge for an hour, easily. I love reverse cowgirl, so back in the summer I actually got her to stay away from her 3 positions, missionary, on top and doggy. It was so awkward and boring having her try it. She has no rythm whatsoever. I went limp. How the fuck do you have a wet pussy riding your cock so bad it makes you limp

Maybe she is shy or something why not talk to her about what you like and see if she is interested in learning

there is a really easy fix for this. Start telling her no, to sex. Women never hear No., It really really fucks with their head. Its not how the world works in their universe. eventually they WILL short circuit and start actually trying to get your interest. Unless she is cheating on you, then she simply wont care

I actually did this, so I know it works. When me and the wife were young, I would occasionally tell her No, for various reasons. She would get thourouly PISSED OFF. Reciently I just got tired of her being a lousy lay and a total bitch all the time. So I stopped even trying for sex. After a while she started coming around asking. I just said No, with no explanations. After being told no 5 times I could see it was fucking with her head. After a few weeks she pushed me down on the bed and gave me one of the best blow jobs I ever got from her. She is normally horror-able at them.

She's not cheating. That I do know.

She is a good wife, been married over 20 years. Shit goes in cycles. Years of getting along well, a year of so-so, then a bad year. We just ended a bad year and are back to good again.

Takes a man to please another man. #dumpwomen

Not my cup of tea, but I did hear that men give blowjobs that women cant even come close to competing with. Always wondered if that was true.

I'd suggest trying to get her to watch some porn together so you can point out what it is that you find hot and how awesome it would be if you two could try something similar, but it sounds like she's the type to think porn is disgusting.

Dont have that problem my gf is a lil cumslut and a great kisser

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Go away faggot.

Wait til you get married bro, it’s usually downhill from there

Aint that the truith

Unless you find the rare ho that actually enjoys sucking dick, guys are just so much more enthusiastic. They don't treat it like a chore to get through and are generally better in practice.

Sure it may be downhill but hey thats the future rn i own her and can use her as much as i want

Lmao i got lucky mine loves my cock and loves pleasing me