I've thought about killing myself but I have so much responsibility...

I've thought about killing myself but I have so much responsibility. My cats would need to be rehomed my husband would be homeless my roommate wouldn't be able to pay for the rent. My mom would be upset. I hate being alive so much but fuck can I really ruin it for all the people that depend on me. I just have to live in agony for the benifit of other people. I have no purpose, no enjoyment the greatest thing life can offer.is a hollow piece of trash. My life sucks my job.sucks even if I made it better would I really be happy. I feel so detached from reality. Im.so close to a better life and I don't even know if it would make being alive worth it.

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>female complaining about how hard life is
fuck off. you have it on easy mode.

Imagine being this detached from real life

Why does your life suck? What, exactly, is causing the suckiness?

Im.a dude

Imagine being this new again.

I graduated and am still poor my exwife tried to kill me an I cant get past the idea that she should have succeeded. My life is.meaningless and i carry this constant emotional torture.that i can.shake.no matter what. I dont understand humanity or myself and i hate where society is and where it has the possibility to go. I find myself hoping a horrible tragedy will happen just to shake things up. I dont fear the hardship i do fear complacency

Have you considered uprooting and just throwing yourself at the mercy of life? Say your goodbyes, sell your stuff and get on a bus or flight somewhere. It's a better option than killing yourself. Though if it turns out to suck even more, you can always revert to the default option.

Life's an oyster etc

I think that the approach of "oh what the hell does it matter, if it doesnt work ill just kill myself" has certain value to some people. You can take literally any risk, and it wont leave unhealable scars on those close to you (at least not yet)

That's the crazy thing I have this longing. To run away chase the road and shit but it would be the same as dying. My cats cant come my husband would be homeless no one likes him but me. I fee bad about leaving everyone high and dry just for my own well being

I understand that, but at some point you must care for yourself. I'm sure even your husband would rather have you alive than dead, even if it means youre no longer present with him. The cats can be released if youve spayed them. Let them get the same opportunity as you.

I dont know if he would. Hes disabled and no one likes him. Hes basically dead if I leave

Can you bring him with you?

Maybe? Hes really attached to his shitty friends

Well you could ask him. If he says no you at least gave him the option, which should lessen your burden a bit.

I will I still worry that it wont be enough.

Why? You're giving him a free choice.

That doesn't mean it will be the right choice or that running will.make me.feel.any better

At least its better than suicide?

How couldn't he survive without you?

No. He depends on me for his every need. Hes disabled

Is this purely pity? Is he even a decent person? If nobody likes him do you actually like him or do you just feel too guilty to do anything negative? It sounds like this is not a good situation for you from the beginning.

>I have no purpose
>all the people that depend on me

Not getting the full picture just leads to too many questions. You say noone likes him but he's attached to his friends? He sounds like an abuser and you sound pretty Stockholm syndromed. My bets are he'd rope someone else in if you left just like he did to you

I usually like him but he has negetive quirks. Hes blind, and epileptic. Hes attractive and very loving but hes work. Everything has to be done for him. Getting around is a chore, having seizures in public is a chore. He also tends to alienate people who aren't down to clown with his disabilities. Weve lost.scores of friends because people got tired of the work that being a part of his circle requires. At the same.time he makes me.feel needed. He treats me specifically like a king. I'm his whole world. It's a dichotomy.

Man up, as men, death isn't an option. If your weak and can't keep it together how do you expect your family and friends to live?

His friends are casual. People that hang around and enjoy his company but as soon a he has a seizure or gets lost or depressed they pass him off to me. They give him companionship, I take care of him. I feed him, I cloth him, I pay his Bill's, they take him to drink

Wait husband, ditch him and restart life. Unless he is ex military and can't walk fuck em. Rmbr number one, that's you.(and ur kids if any)

Add me on FB, off plz epic trolls. Carlton Fisher abq nm. Talk to me and my wife, everyone I personally know from childhood including my sister is dead. Life is worth holding. If you need to talk to someone, the rest of you too anons.

He's not wrong.

I am not female as stated

I honestly feel worse for your husband now. At least you said your mom would miss you.
No one would miss him.
Fucking cats before the husband...
Obw work of art.

Lul.

If your a puss I'll tell you to webcam it is.

Than man up. Humanity doesn't need thin skinned weak men.

You're right no one would. No one has the patience to take care of his needs

At first i felt bad but fuck man... Really? Puss

You can talk shit but were on our 6th set of roommates who hate his guts because hes work. Because you can't just be his friend. You have to invest labor into him unless.im around. He won't use a cane he wont take.siezure meds he requires human effort for his basic needs. And if you refuse you arent a friend any longer with the exception of me.