[ TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=EzrhArE9urs
youtube.com/watch?v=4eDxjxVl8S0
xhamster.com/movies/5223443/satisfaction_massage.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>Starts vigorously so I can cum right in time to see censored titties and sweet tanned flat belly

>Watch Insomniac on Comedy Central circa 2003
>This plays for most of the commercials

>hot part is on
>hold on for a better part
>it never comes
>chance is gone
>end up fapping to infomercial ankles

>always imagined girls gone wild to be the most magical and amazing thing you can never get
>turns out it's the tamest shit ever
weird feeling

Me on the left

Did you people not have HBO and Cinemax in your teens?

>have the remote on the last channel button so if someone comes no one knows what you were watching

In 1990, we figured out if we give college girls free booze and shirts they'll show their breasts.
In 2010, we realized the booze and shirts were optional. Just need an arrow pointing up.

[Steel drum intensifies]

The ones shaped like tits were the best

No not everybody had rich parents like you.

Fucking THHHHIIISSSSSS HOLY SHITTT

and then change the volume real quick so the lingering channel number goes away, so no one knows you just switched channels.

It's about the college girls and the... the wildness... they're going wild or something?

come with me and you will see, a late night freakshow jubilee

>those times they would get identical twins to make out with each other

Looking back, that's really fucked up.

...

>hears tin drum
>Pavlovian boner ensues

>tfw didnt know what masturbation was but still got a hard on
what a sad time

Today, this would be considered sexist, and we should be proud of the girls for showing their bodies like this.

All those girls are probably dead now.

>prison blues rockabilly music starts playing

>[ TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHY CAN I HEAR THE MUSIC SO CLEARLY!?

Ew, really?

>1 girl was 17
>game gets banned

Thanks for reminding me to do my seasonly viewing of Commando

>fuck off whore i am trying to watch south park!!!!

LITERALLY CANT HEAR STEEL DRUMS WITHOUT THINKING OF SLOPPY DRUNK SLUTS

BETTER PROGRAMMING THAN MKULTRA

always a get-away plan

>2005 - 2009
>AKA the golden age of masturbation
>every friday night watch horror movies until midnight, when showcase starts showing softcore porn
>stuff like emmanuelle travels the world, and cheap european lezzo porn
>occasionally bust a weird nut to shows like Kink
>and then
>get satellite receiver
>HBO and the movie network
>every night
>3-4 different hardcore pornos with that fucking goofy looking dude with the long hair
>get introduced to gianna micheals through late night smut
>when I had computer access, no holds barred
>paheal, aerisdies
>/h/ before they could all read fucking moonspeak and stopped translating
It was a different time. A better time.

Steam port when?

based Showcase

I pretty much spent my entire youth like that, even when I wasn't watching anything out of the ordinary. Not a fun way to live desu.

>accidentally cumming when a man's on screen

>tfw discovering Cinemax one summer night in 2005
>tfw would fake feeling sick so the rest of the family would go out to dinner
I miss the simpler times, I don't even think I actually came until I was 16.

>born 1997
>outside of a couple sports illustrated magazines early on all of my porn has come from the internet
it seriously blows my mind you guys had to beat it to these shitty commercials and couldn't just search for porn vids to beat off to.

>discover a new fetish when you keep stroking into the commercial break

too much too fast, it's over for you

youtube.com/watch?v=EzrhArE9urs

>christmas 2007
>finally get own TV
>watch tv super late
>bust nuts to wild on and emmannuelle while wearing headphones so i could hear the porn
>cum in my socks
>get pc with internet access a year later
>red tube and x hamster all day
Fuck I miss being 14

Yeah, I'm 5 years older but I remember internet porn being way too fucking slow until like 2009.
It felt more rewarded when you actually found something to whack off to though, I kind of miss the thrill of waiting for my parents to leave and trying to get one out to whatever I had available.

I love having so much available to me now but at the same time I don't feel the same reward from actually going at it, you know?

>tfw watching Greece Uncovered on Sky One in a German hotel
Europe was a crazy place to be for someone going through puberty.

I wish I never found hentai

Bikini Cavegirl!

>tfw never got to hear the music because tv room was right next to parents bedroom so volume had to stay super low

Bro I know what you mean.
Back when I was a kid , I lived at my grandma's with my mom and sisters.
The PC was in the guest's room and I would hide behind the guest bed so that when my grandma would go into the room to make sure I had gone to bed, she would not see me, this assuming that I was in my room.
After she turned off the lights and went to bed I would spring up like Ethan Hunt with the themesong playing in my head and jerk off for 2 hours/play GunZ the Duel until my eyes were hurting.

Are you saying you never just put your ears close to the speaker before?... The thought never occurred to you?

>in an alternate universe we all never found hentai and became successful adults

*blocks your boner and puts you in a laughing fit*

H-Hey, I'm doing okay now.
$15 an hour isn't that bad right? Fuck I was supposed to get into business.

>mom and pop used game store near me has this in stock
>priced at $120
>ask if they know it has child porn in it
>"that's why it's so expensive"

>mom finds your socks

Depends on the area you live in and your education. Median household income is around $51k, and 60% or so of households are dual income. Full time at $15/hr with a partner you don't have who does about $10/hr at full time would put you at the median nationwide.

...

>never knowing the experience of downloading naughty pictures over dialup in 1996.
You damn whippersnappers have it so easy these days with your hamstertubes and chatsnappers...

>tfw lowering the volume so my parents won't hear it

One day we will be the only generation to remember a time before little kids had access to hardcore pornography on their tablets and smartphones.

thinking back I had a stash of cum soaked underwear mostly from wet dreams that I never washed until like 5 years later. There is no way my parents did not find those at the bottom of my dresser drawer. the smell was probably terrible too. god damn

checked and kek'd

Well at this point I'm living at home and still doing work for college so I guess it's alright in that regard.
I still kind of envy some of my friends who moved away and seem to be experiencing the world, I'm in no hurry to rake up debt though.

>tfw looking up at pictures at alscan and animenet and memorizing them

wonder what our guy Dave Attell is doing these days

>teen years.
>every night, watch x files reruns before bed.
>one night, after the episode, 30 minute sex chat commercial comes on.
>no narration, only a phone number hovering at the bottom of the screen.
>,just chicks in bikinis and lingerie laying around or sun bathing or whatever.
>this commercial airs every night for like 3 months.

It was a simpler time.

Getting his jokes stolen by Amy Schumer.

>tfw finding sister's anatomically correct Barbie dolls
>tfw she found out I was hiding them in my dresser with my girlfriend when I was 13

Yeah as long as you don't let yourself sit in mediocrity for years at your job and try to move up, you should do fine. We all hear about the success stories, but most of us are working for sub 20 wages. $15/hr while living at home and enrolled in college, you're doing pretty well for yourself. You're probably just in a bubble where you don't know many poor people but are exposed to more affluent and connected people at college. That median household income is people across all ages. There are so, so many people who are just service sector workers for life, doing retail, bartending, waitressing, fast food etc. who make just enough to live on.

I wish I could go back to that. Life was easy. I'd watch that, and if I didn't cum I could just close my eyes and let my imagination take me there.

Now I have over a gigabyte of porn pics and thousands of videos bookmarked. I hardly ever fap to the same thing twice, even when I'm in the mood for a specific fetish fap.
The endlessness of the internet has ruined me.

I wish I could just fap to mildly attractive girls making out just once more like I used to.

SHE WHAT?

Got a link, articles, anything? This pisses me off.

Post your favorite GGW girl.

holy shit I remember saving this gif from Sup Forums back in 2007

Fuck fags I would watch a blurry as fuck cinemax every once in a while you would see a tit or a clit.

She had some great tits but I held out when they had that minute long censored make out session with the twins.

It's in here somewhere.

youtube.com/watch?v=4eDxjxVl8S0

Somehow I still manage to primarily get off to lesbian porn after all these years, I don't even understand how.

I wish this site didn't turn me part gay sometimes though

>cinemax shown softcore porn at night
>because timezones they aired a bit early
>getting turned on with what they show
>frustrated because there wasn't a single shot of a dick
Thank god the internet, being gay was fucking frustrating specially when these shows couldn't show dicks on screen

fuck what happened to being turned on by normal porn. can that be a thing again.

Underrated

>word around class about cinemax showing some late night "porn"
>stay up late at night hoping to see it
>fell asleep and woke up seeing the movie over
>next day everyone saw it but me

fuck that shit man ;_;

That's especially shitty because he used to promote and support her before she was actually a thing.

What kind of lesbian porn? Tribbing or strap on is good. It's basically the intensity of hetero sex but with 2 girls. Ultimate Surrender is great. I don't care about the "fakeness" of a strap on, porn is fake anyways and I'm watching for the women.

>fuck what happened to being turned on by normal porn.
Your brain got used to it, so you needed more extreme stuff to get off. It's exactly like drug addiction. The only cure is for you to go cold turkey.

Kids like you and me knew the advanced strategies

I hope when you were finished you also changed it to another family friendly channel so that no one could accidentally hit the channel return button themselves and wonder why you were watching that other channel.

Not him but reluctant lesbians and/or forced facesitting is pretty hot, but the annoying voices of Latina girls make it a bitch to find good videos.

Dude that's gay.

I always liked seduction, lingerie and massages myself, also been getting more into milf stuff lately.
This one has a god-tier mix of all four:
xhamster.com/movies/5223443/satisfaction_massage.html

Like 1/30 softcore stuff there showed that, it was an unwelcome surprise for me, made weirder by how rare and random it was.

>tfw keep whacking off to 80's porn because the girls are cuter and the world just seems comfier in their timeline
>tfw will never have a threesome with Christy Canyon and Erica Boyer

Why not? Are they dead? They're probably washed up and cheap enough by now.

>used to watch adult swim
>parents didn't like me watching adult swim but didn't really care to stop me
>volume turned low
>they assume I'm watching adult swim and don't want them to hear
>really I'm trolling the adult-oriented channels for titty infomercials
GGW was a classic, but there were some other alternative softcore video infomercials I'd catch. "Paid Programming" in the late night channel guide was my bread and butter.

I remember staying up late to see these comercials on comedy central
Now they seem so tame and mundane
Porn is a fucking cancer, i wish I could be rid of it for ever and fix my fucked up brain.

Erica Boyer died in a car crash 8 years ago, I was actually legitimately sad when I found out since she was my first real fap.
I meant more in their prime though.

We should be going somewhere with our type of skills

me too. i literally would wait around at night seeing if it'd come on.

How the fuck did you not figure this shit out on your own at around 12 or 13?

>tfw Aunt Peg died

This looks like the dude from Blue Ruin

Sex is more of a taught thing than you think. So many European royals were never taught about sex and were complete retards, like the guy might just toast his dick in her and consider that sex. The peasants knew about it because they shared close quarters with their parents. Many sheltered royals had to be educated on how to properly consummate. Masturbation is even more detached. There are some cultures that don't masturbate at all.

I know exactly what you mean. My family PC was positioned directly in the line of sight of my parent's doorway. Shit gave me amazing reaction reflexes.