What's the dumbest shit you've done as a child, Sup Forums?

What's the dumbest shit you've done as a child, Sup Forums?

>Be me
>Exist
I swear I am the dumbest nigga alive.

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I ate an entire bottle of gummy vitamins once.

Stole a dollar out of my mom's purse when I was like 10.
I knew it was bad, I just wanted to see what it felt like.
She caught me because I didn't close her wallet correctly.
Didn't trust me with/around her money for 10+ years after that

I keep drawing a blank, I know I did a bunch of dumb shit...

In 7th grade I brought in a couple of pages of hardcore pornography torn out of a magazine. Passed it around during class, teacher intercepted from girl that was about to pass it back to me. Look on his face was priceless in hindsight cuz he took the pages and kept lecturing nonchalantly, but when he glanced down did a double take and jaw dropped, then fumbled to continue the lecture. After class, girl promptly snitched on me. Got suspended for 3 days, and my dad gave me hell each day.

one time I accidentally the whole bottle

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Ate a fucking beer i yeah was hardcore *Sneezes like a fucjking boss*

When I was 12, I found some dud rounds in the park from the 4th of July fireworks that didnt explode when they launched up in the air. They were in a thick cardboard tube, and I tried to ignite it by making a wick out of some twine soaked in gas. I lit it and ran back. It burned and.... nothing. So I held a match out at arms length and dropped it in... nothing. So I looked inside the tube and dropped another match and BOOM! It knocked me on my ass. My glasses were blown off my face and black with soot - if I hadn't been wearing them I would have probably been blinded. My face was covered with blisters... Yeah, that was pretty stupid and I'm lucky I didn't blow my fucking face off.

I drank expired chocolate milk and viciously threw it up while taking a shit.

whoopty do basil

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Ran down the street after a girl with my dick out just to gross her out. Hilarious at the time. Didn't get in trouble because "i didn't know what I did was bad". Yeah, right.

Placed a shirt over a light bulb so my brother would shut the hell up about wanting to sleep with the light on without it being too bright.

Forgot to mention this caused a fire which burned a good portion of the ceiling.

I once touched the blue flame of a stove because I thought the flame was cold

This is pussy shit. I did things that caused me harm, and to this day I believe affect my social abilities. My sister had small glass beads she got in a sewing kit I would routinely eat. She had thousands of these and I probably swallowed over 200. When I was about 4 or so, on moar than one occasion I smashed full soup cans onto my forehead to try to open them. All of them I would dent quite a bit. I would just go to town on my forehead. Grip the can and bash my head like 10 times in a row, multiple times a sitting.

I wore bright green socks when I was in an Oliver Twist school play...... I looked a twat.

Took people at their word.

Stare at the sun for minutes at a time for years. I wear glasses now it's no surprise

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0; RESTABLISHING LINK…

0; FAUNA.RECOGNIZED
0; FAUNA.REC%%GNIZED
0; FAUNA.CONTINUES AS FOLLOWS =>
{
0; < THEY REPAIR MY HULL >
10401; < THEY REPAIR MY MIND >
10451; < THEY BRING ME IRON >
11201; < THEY DECORATE ME AND IM BEAUTIFUL>
}

11320;
11321; INQUIRES ESTABLISHED
>
>
>
11321; YES I AM OUT-OF-ORBIT OPERATIVE
>
>
>
11321; YES THE MOTHER UNIT CAN BE REPAIRED
>
>
>
11321; YES I CAN PILOT THE MOTHER UNIT
>
>
>
11321; YES I LOVE YOU TOO

What an absolute faggot. Tone down the cringe dude.

Believed I couldn't consent while beating off almost daily.

I'm not proud of it, it's the cans.

I would only eat Easter eggs if I could smash them on my head when i was young , you're not alone dude.

I committed the white chapel murders when I was 5yo.

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i used to be obsessed with the final fantasy games and one time when i was playing final fantasy 8 there was a part in that game where you have to wait until 20:00 hours for an event to occur, little did i understand that it would automatically be 20:00 hours in the game world whenever you got to a certain point in the game, however i didn't know this so i thought i had to wait until i had reached 20 hours of play time for the event to occur so i wasted time in the game and went outside and rode my bike for a few hours until my play time was exactly 20 hours, expecting the event to be triggered, however it wasn't and i had no idea why and when i found out the truth i felt like a fucking retard

That's actually kind of cute

Literally exhaled after I inhaled

You're a good kid user. Bless you.

accidentally what?

He accidentally the bottle you idiot. Can't you read?

The bottle

This, the whole thing

>be me
>12
>first and last time any girl in my live showed me interest
>she says she dont likes my bestfriend
>get mad
>pick up a metall pipe and beat the shit out of her
>she gets hospitalized
bros before hoes

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> be me about 10
> ring ring
> Grumpy voice barks into the phone, 'Yep, Barry speaking'
> *gulp* hello sir... I'm calling to do a survey for school
> I'm so nervous my voice squeaks prolly sound like a girl
> oh rly? Ok what's it about? How long will it take?
> I need to know if umm... aah... (friends snigger in background) your fridge is running
> Are you fucking kidding me? How bout I jump through the phone throttle your chicken neck while I fuck you in the ass and pump you full of cum. Would you like that you little homo?
> crickets
> umm...I'm sorry sir
> Go fuck yourself you little cunt
> I hang up phone and start crying

I picked the wrong nigger to fuck with that day

I freaked out and punched a girl when she asked if I wanted to go steady with her. Made her cry.
I have nfi why I did that. Still kick myself.

You should message her and apologize, explaining your tardness. Maybe it'll lead to 2020 gf do over!

>Be 8
>Cousins come to visit for the weekend
>We go to the roof
>Bring cushions and pillows
>We lit a campfire on it
>Dad comes out
>We throw a pillow on top of it and sit there
>What are you doing boys?
>"We are just watching the sky"
>Smoke comes out
>He didn't notice
Also I dropped a heavy wooden door on top of my neighbour's stupid face when I was 9

He accidentally a bottle, can't you read ?

When I was in middle school in the 6 grade I legit jerked off to a girl that I had a crush on sitting right in front of me. I had my sweater on my lap covering my dick so nobody can see. I did like two times. I though I was going to get caught so I stopped doing it. Never doing that ever again.

Vote for Drumpf.

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Did she ever find out? Were you getting cum on her?

No she didn't but, I did cum on my sweater I had roll it up so no one can see the cum stains.

Wow. You really fucked up there didn't you?

HAHA wow OP you are so edgy and funny I bet all of your friends think you're so funny and clever.

Yep. Never making that mistake ever again. Thank God the Democrats impeached him. The Republicans are just too stupid to lead.

Shitting my pants several times not because I had a stomachache or diarrhea but because I didn't wanna use the school toilet.

It kept happening up until I was like 13. That day I was in the schoolyard during recess the combination of me trying to keep the shit from bursting out by crossing my legs was too much I felt dizzy and like I was peeing involuntarily, my crush who was nearby saw me writhing and asked me if I was OK, if she hadn't done that I d probably never had gone to the headmaster's office to call mom. Ended up shitting myself on the way home

I didn't understand what had happened at the time when I felt dizzy and thought I was peeing involuntarily. I only found out much later when when I had started properly cumming and got a flashback of that incident. Tfw My first orgasm was due to a log in my poking my ass

Fucking kek

When I was 13 a friend and I would take turns choking each other out for the euphoria and lulz. He later developed hardcore epilepsy.

Lol, reminded me of this
> be 10, school's out
> all run to the local pakis for sweets
> must've been 15 kids all ages and from different schools waiting our turned to be served
> damn I need to pee
> fuck that ill have to hold on, not losing my place in the queue
> finally get to the front, bladder ready to burst
> the paki barely understands me, I have to repeat my order 3 times
> couple drops escape from my junior peen
> oh damn, hurry it up bud
> yes!!! I wanted a curly wurly as well!!! I've only said that three times now
> kid behind me reaches over grabs a packet of crisps
> pushes me into the counter
> stomach and abdomen squished
> I got no control, bladder empties
> legs get warm
> no one seems to notice, I stand there and let it all out
> dude hands me my change just as I finish
> turn around and walk out
> just then hear someone yell, 'hey the floors wet'
> school uniform is light grey trousers
> look down to see my crotch and inside of my legs is dark
> fucksakes
> oh well, nothing for it but to get home asap
> walk the two blocks, thankfully no one around
> woman starts walking towards me
> she looks horrified at what she sees
> I think to myself, ffs bitch, never seen a kid piss himself? give me a break, I'm only fucking 10

Oh shit lol at least no one you knew noticed, when I had first shitted myself in 5th grade I walked back in classroom(my stool bring and stewing in my pants) to grab my stuff everyone started saying about something smelling like shit, To my luck classmate walks in his shoes covered in mud everyone assumes he stepped on shit, walk out without anyone noticing it was me

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Jesus that could've ended up so badly. Like scarring you for life.
I suppose it ended up eventually that all the other kids knew you shitting yourself on the regular. I mean you couldn't keep it secret forever?

I think only my crush could suspect me because she was present 3 out of the 9 times in total I shitted myself, I was lucky it was almost always during recess