I killed my wife

I killed my wife.
Now I'm killing your childhood.

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youtube.com/watch?v=uPIIeVH6joA
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I hope you think long and hard about what you value in life that allowed your child hood to be ruined by tvs son of tvs frank

I thought his wife OD'd.

she did, but of course patton oswalt disagrees with op's politics so he's obviously fair game for whatever hackneyed dead wife jokes you can fart out

okay, but what does MST3K have to do with my childhood?

Patton Oswalt is well known for absolutely shitting on anyone who doesn't share his exact beliefs so I don't feel bad for that cunt at all.

Negligence is murder too.

I'd OD if I married Patton Oswalt

How can he be so cold-hearted?

Hey guys, fuck trump, am I right?

>absolutely shitting on anyone who doesn't share his exact beliefs
like who? the people who troll his twitter?

>the husband has no liability in this
It's not like they lived in the same house or anything lmao

When will he apologize to James Rolfe?

>a family member commits suicide in your house
>therefore you are guilty of murder

wew lad

>suicide
Do suicidal people really do a shitload of coke mixed with dog dewormer

people talking over movies was a big part of my childhood

I really look forward to this nerd approved adaptation of talking over movies

you do realize she was his wife and not his daughter right? how is he liable for another adult in the house dying?

...

Just call him Max the Wife Murderer

why would she be doing dog dewormer?

>if constantly tweet about liberal values, maybe no one will notice that I've been close personal friends with A. Wyatt Mann for the past several decades...

Why would you let someone you love that all that shit?

She was fucking Patton, so it seems pretty obvious why she would be taking dog dewormer.

because human beings have agency

...

DAYUM

W E W

I expect suicidal people to do literally crazy thing.

That's not even close to a reasonable amount of evidence to suspect murder.

People that sleep with Patton Oswalt do.

it was mixed with the fucking cocaine, can't you faggots read?

God damn! Shots fired #rekt

my sister was suicidal so every 2-3 hours we would always check up on her to see how she was feeling so yeah you kinda are liable

they're too sheltered to know about things like drugs getting cut

but why what does dog dewormer do to cocaine?
>too sheltered
sorry i wasn't raised in a shithole country where everyone does drugs

Your point?

Guys

I am with the girl of my dreams but I always hear sad stories about loved ones who die young and I just don't think I could take it if my GF dies due to cancer/some fluke

What do I do so I'm not paralyzed by this fear

send her to JAIL

1. She didn't threaten suicide ahead of time, so why would anybody be checking on her?

2. I could kill myself a dozen times in 2-3 hours.

3. Some possible liability =/= guilty of murder

lock her away in your dungeon so nothing can get to her but you

yeah, canada is a real hellhole.

since you clearly never leave your mom's basement i'll explain it for you, dealers mix cocaine with other white powders because drugs are sold by weight and it means they can make more money

Kill her yourself to avoid the chances of her dying surprisingly.

you are correct canada is a real hellhole
youtube.com/watch?v=uPIIeVH6joA
see

>Does coke each night before bed along with a cocktail of every other drug she can get
>How was I supposed to know she could die?

It is just as much Patton's fault as it is his wife's.

You didn't read his comment. I'll clarify though.

What does dog dewormer do? Most of the cocaine is either cut with speed or vitamin b, and won't kill you outright. what does dog dewormer do to a human?

Yeah, lets defend the drug addict that got his wife a super controlled substance.

youtube.com/watch?v=9Td7jZaOqgY
even more proof canada is a shithole

look at it this way

it gives you an excuse to be single the rest of your life without anybody thinking you're a pathetic loser

>she had lots of drugs so that means she did them all at once all the time
are you the same guy who didnt know what cutting coke was?
probably nothing
>DRUGS R BAD EVRYONE WHO DOZ DRUGGS SHOULD GO JAIL

>be a big fat cokehead
>die
ohwow.jpg

A FUCKING LEAF

Just to add to that thought, it's like defending matthew broderick.

You behave extremely irresponsibly, someone dies, and you keep getting movie deals.

...

>wake up from your benzo and painkiller stupor one morning
>look across the room and see a disgusting 5'4" 230lb troll ''practicing his routine" by making dart noises into the mirror
>he looks at you and goes "Oh morning my beautiful Princess Leia, would you mind if I make us breakfast (which means he drives to Burger King for Croissanwiches if it isn't past 11am)"

She had a moment of pride and cognizance by killing herself desu

i found out what matthew broderick did today he's fucked dude

lost all respect for him after his 2 last special. just awful.

>american flag on porch
>not canadian accents

Everyone who supplies drugs to someone that gets them killed should go to jail, yeah, I think so. Those are highly controlled substances, not even street drugs, far more powerful. There is no synthesized opiate stronger than fentanyl. You are a fucking idiot.

those are clearly canadians who love america a lot

good god kill this man

I almost always skipped through the interlude sketches and go straight to the riffs, but I have to say I wasn't even a little impressed with it. They kept telling the same "let's eat the flesh the drill picked up" joke and I turned that shit off.

Only half funny line was when they said "Nothing says International like the Capitol building." Is it even worth sitting through?

So why did he just let his wife die? Didn't want the alimony? Very odd that Democrats spout so much about feminism and then kill their wives to avoid alimony as well as try to normalize fundamentalist Islam values.

>He believes the "everyone who disagrees with a celebrity is just an evil troll" meme

More like anybody who didn't vote for Hillary. Check his election day tweets.

What did he have against Bernie?

>So why did he just let his wife die?
It sounded like a good PR stunt for Ghostbusters at the moment.

One second in Google later

Jesus Christ that's vicious.

Murder? Really?

Have you gullible fucks ever heard a rumor you DIDN'T believe?

Bernie's campaign didn't cultivate celebrity endorsements like Hillary's did.

>Do suicidal people really do a shitload of coke mixed with dog dewormer

yes

I heard Trump was making pee babies with two Russian prostitutes and James Comey saw the babies and the baby looked at him

This is Bone Tomahawk-tier savage.

Way to divide people from voting for your rigged candidate you fucking idiot

Was it because he was a jew?

>taking fentanyl, especially with other drugs
>not suicidial

>Queens accent
>Canada

>xanax is a super controlled substance
it's a house wife's pick me up m8

Chances he's an addict too?

Biggest case of rekt I have ever seen on twitter.

It's obvious that they (you know who) covered it up. Why do you think he's been mass shilling for them (once again you know who user don't play dumb) since the incident?

>queens accent
HUH

Felicia day better up her antidepressants since she has to work with goblin man now.

Why is the tweet deleted? Do twitter just delete stuff that hurt ppls feelings?

MORE LIKE MSTAK3 AM I RIGHT?

Several anons had this issue with the first episode, while feeling that subsequent episodes weren't as poor in comparison. Did you have any other issues during the riffing?

nevermind found it

Spouses of drug addicts almost always are one of the following.
1. Drug addicts themselves.
2. Enablers. They keep the person's life in order while they abuse the drugs.
3. At the very least know about the addiction.

It's highly improbable that Patton didn't in some way contribute to his wife's death.

Wait, what's this?
Is Patton Oswalt buddies with A. Wyatt Mann?

>Being Jewish
>Bad at getting you Hollywood endorsements

Being a Jew helped his chances, he was just too stupid to try to win endorsements at all.

>Was it because he was a jew?

>Rant constantly about "billionaire greed."
>Get the endorsement of a bunch of millionaires who work for billionaires