How often do you think about suicide?

How often do you think about suicide?

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Daily

almost everyday when i was a teen till age 20. these days, maybe once a quarter

way too often, not daily, but at least trice a week.

Daily since high school. Tried it once. Didn't take.

Why do you think about it?

What did you try? Pills?

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From the Xmas, 3-4 times day

Not much anymore, fat as I pushed was a gun to the head but too pussy for trigger, was like a cm away lol.

as a teen? just very emo and angsty... felt like a loser and shit.

these days, work stress and shit.

never gone through with it though.. too much hassle.

Lucky you. That shitty thoughts came back really hary. And they filling me up...

>What did you try? Pills?
Yup. A bottle of Ambien and a bottle of clonidine. Woke up 20 hours later, groggy and a bit sick, but none worse for wear. It's possible I went to the bathroom to throw up in my sleep. I'm not sure.

It depends. Sometimes it's on a daily basis, sometimes I don't think about it for months. I'm like this for more than 15 years now.

yeah, i "outgrew" that phase I guess. thoughts are still there including how i'll do it.

Life and death, separated by an inch.
Funny thought

Relatively speaking a little bit of hassle for a lotta bit of relief

Throwing up is how OD ends most of the time yeah.
Would you try again?

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Do you know why you think about it?

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true.. but i guess my pain was not bad enough to outweigh the hassle.

Because I hate myself and my life. I always feel I'm not good enough, don't make the right choices, not good looking. I have a shitty job and don't have a lot of money but have dreams too big to be fulfilled. The frustration is killing me on the long run.

>Would you try again?
Yeah, but not until I can save up enough to get a 10/10 escort again. See, last time I took out a bunch of credit under another name and took a sex tourism trip around the world as a sort of last hurrah. I've been on probation for a few years now. Once all that's over with, I'll be able to save up, get some hot ass (haven't been with a woman in two and half years) and then do something with a higher chance of success.

every few hours, but then i try to forget about it or preoccupy my mind with something else. it's been awhile since i've put effort in actually doing it and years since i've attempted it. at this point, i figure i am capable of doing it at any time i just simply havent got around to it.

Dying is fucking scary.

What do you dream about?

Good taste. Do you know what you'll try the second time?

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Going to Japan like the good weeb that I am.

yeah... scared me cuz i dont now if ill get relief

>Good taste. Do you know what you'll try the second time?
Probably jump, but I'm open to suggestion.

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What are some healthy things you put effort in?

Why is that too big to be fulfilled!
That shouldn't be too hard right?

Do you believe in the afterlife then?

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Multiple times most days for at least 12 years

Jumping is decent option. Just make sure it's high enough and you don't land on soft surface.
Head first, arms at your side and you're off to the next life.
Barring shotgun to the head I think jumping is one of the most effective ways to go.

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the only time when i do NOT think about it is when i am with a girl so from 1999 to 2006 then 2008 to 2020

Wow, 12 years is a long time! Congratulations!
What's she like?

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Just had a thought. Maybe I'll take up skydiving. Then once I've done it enough for them to let me do it without a chute, I just.... don't open it. What a thrill.

We're damaged people
Drawn together
By subtleties that we are not aware of
Disturbed souls
Playing out forever
These games that we once thought we would be scared of
When you're in my arms
The world makes sense
There is no pretense
And you're crying
When you're by my side
There is no defense
I forget to sense I'm dying
We're damaged people
Praying for something
That doesn't come from somewhere deep inside us
Depraved souls
Trusting in the one…

every day

discord..gg/7KUx4cv ((remove the extra dot))


server with no rules. Anything Goes!

loli, cp, gore, nudes, and A LOT of shitposting!

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Terrible.

Hahaa, that's gonna be high enough for sure
And who knows, maybe you'll love skydiving so much you don't want to kys anymore

Ooh, edgy

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

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i still do. maybe not in the religious sense but some sort of an afterlife.

I'm poor to the point where if I'm not managing my budget wisely, I don't have enough to buy food at the end of the month.

this is what she was like, she is/was the only one to take the pain away
youtube.com/watch?v=KY8H7QBPx7w

lol, right

Sounds like you've been brainwashed by a history of religion

What do you do for work?

I'm not gonna watch a 20 minute video!
So anyway, you like her because she's nice and makes you not feel depressed.

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>And who knows, maybe you'll love skydiving so much you don't want to kys anymore

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Before I turned 14 I never thought about dying, only running away. After that until I was 22 or so i thought about faking my death and running away. After that I thought pretty much daily, multiple times a day, "fuck it. Why bother any more? Things don't ever get better. Itd be so much easier to just quit and die already".
Then I picture methods or opportunities.

Funny enough, I'd never do it barring terminal illness. If I ever got that miserable enough but was otherwise healthy, I'd default to my teenage ideal and fuck off and start over in the woods or something.

she was the only one who loves me, not my mom, not my dad, no friends just her, then she left and now i only have Sup Forums

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I work in a school with little kids. It's tough to pretend to be joyful sometimes.

>Funny enough, I'd never do it barring terminal illness.
My biggest fear is I'll be in some sort of accident where I'll want to do it, but won't have the agency.
Like the guy that Metallica's "One" is about.

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Life is a random collection of chance, there is a chance something nice will happen
But prolly not

Eh? Did she break up this week?
You said till 2020

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Wow, that's an admirable job though. Must be emotionally draining too. I can't imagine what it's like.
Would you want to become an English teacher in Japan or something?

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Oooh, locked in syndrome. Yeah. That's why I have a living will.

I'm too old and scared to try to change my situation. Things can be better but also can be worse.

it is still 2020 and i am still depress
i was with HER 2006 to 2008

i take it this page is not a depeche mode fan?

Usually after big arguments with my wife. Feeling of inescapable misery

youtu.be/7tgPn6cbch0

I usually think about it when Im alone, probably once or twice every other day or so

I want to get a DNR, but I'm worried my doctor (who knows about my mental health history) will have me sent to the hospital if I bring it up.

Would getting "By resuscitating me, you hereby forfeit your right not to be murdered by me should I survived" tattooed on my chest be too edgy?

Doesn't it scare you more to know that if you don't do anything you will die, knowing you've wasted the opportunity to improve your quality of life?

Oooh, I misunderstood.
Have you not found another lover?

What do you argue about?

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that's what catholic school will do to you.. lol

You can't be forced to go to a mental hospital for something as trifle as that, even with a history
Just go get that dnr

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They can put you in for 48 hr mental hygiene check any time they want, man.

I knew it!
Something that really convinced me that all religion is be is reading about all the different kind of ideas, how much they're alike, and how much (most of them) claim to be the only one
Have you learned much about other beliefs?

Your doc will know the difference between "this man still doesn't care much about life" and "this man is on the verge of hurting himself or others"

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who would date a neckbeard with no job and a history of abuse...

thats called a 51/50 i have had 14 of those

>Your doc will know the difference
I would hope so, but you never know.

>who would date a neckbeard with no job and a history of abuse...

That girl you were with, apparently.

>thats called a 51/50 i have had 14 of those
Well America is weird then.
In the Netherlands they can only force something like that if they think you're an immediate danger to yourself or others. Even saying you're planning suicide isn't enough.

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Again, I don't how things go in America but here, apart from immediate danger being a requirement, there always needs to be a second opinion. They'll extensively question you to make a decision, cuz it's not a decision to be made lightly. It costs a lot of money to keep someone in a mental hospital

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Everyday actually.
I don't wanna live in this shitty world.
Motherfuckin' god, couldn't put me in a pure good world.

my ex wife is a lesbian, how do you think that makes me feel about my gender

Death is patient,
Death is kind.
Death does not envy,
Death does not boast,
Death is not proud.
Death does not dishonor others,
Death is not self-seeking,
Death is not easily angered,
Death keeps no record of wrongs.
Death does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Death always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Death never fails.

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I've only been sent involuntarily once. There was a second person brought in (I was at a mental health outpatient clinic for counseling at the time) but that took all of about two minutes.
>I don't how things go in America
>It costs a lot of money to keep someone in a mental hospital
First, you don't get a mental hospital unless it's long term. You just get the locked ward at a regular hospital. Second, nobody cares about the cost until the insurance stops wanting to pay.

>It costs a lot of money to keep someone in a mental hospital

3k to 5k per "visit"

I have suicidal thoughts a couple few times an hour usually. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy sometimes, and other times I just feel unloved.

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You think there are multiple worlds?

Must be pretty good if you're so attractive you hooked a lesbian.

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yenno, i laughed at depression growing up.
i truly believed that depression is only one feeling sorry for oneself, easily changed by incorporating one drastic shift in action.

then i thought myself into a pit. i thought myself into a corner as being a good looking 'B Class' star, much like Leonardo DiCaprio's role in the latest Tarantino flick (people always say i look like him)

and it's funny, the universe has given me ample opportunities to drag myself out of this rut by showing me so many avenues to improve.

>getting hundreds of thousands of dollars from insurance settlement soon
>still have loving family who houses and feeds me
>still have childhood friends who ask for my time
>still have a decent jawline

and yet, i want to just walk off the stage at the age of 21.. my self-inficted stress has caused me to break out in fucking acne...

fuck brain damage. i have become my own worst enemy

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I have had good experience with hospital food though. Not sure why it gets so much hate.

yeah, i learned about hindu, islam, buddism, judaism, taoism, and sikh... pretty much same message different versions.

it depends on the hospital
one time i had to to to hospital A because hospital B was shit

>the latest Tarantino flick
Jesus, that ending. I did NOT see that coming.

Nobody deserves to be happy, nobody deserves to be unhappy.
It's mostly just chance. There isn't some higher being going "oh, well user was naughty this year, I'm going cut off his happy supply"
There are bad people who have it good and there are good people who have it bad.
You don't "deserve" anything but you can try to arrange your life in such a way that you'll be most happy.

Ugh, microwaved cardboard meals
In the last place I spent time in, we actually got to cook ourselves

And you still believe in certain mythical aspects?

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she told me she was strait when we got married.
she changed, i changed her

believe it or not No.817704471 THIS is helping me

Pfff, you can't seriously believe that.
That's really giving yourself to much credit, user
Someone's sexuality changing isn't something that happens because of a bad experience
She was always into girls, she just got to know herself through being with you.

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>we actually got to cook ourselves
What could go wrong?

I think the reason people complain about hospital food is because they're in the hospital. They're usually eating it while in pain, or while they're alone, or worried. A three Michelin star restaurant could cater and they'd still complain.

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that is not what she told me.
that is not what her GF told me

You can click the post number to quote someone

Was the most delicious food I've eaten.
We were also responsible for cleaning and such.

I do think the presentation is partly responsible for the bad rep. A tv dinner style plate with mass produced dollops of food isn't exactly appetizing

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It's okay, user. Mine came out as a fucking Tranny after we split up. Try to figure that one out.

Is there any reason she or her gf would want to hurt you?
Because people don't choose their sexuality. They can only discover it

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Growing up with a suicidal mother and an alcoholic father that argued on the daily, beat each other up and left the house without saying anything kinda made the negative thoughts an everyday occurrence. Father died recently and now I'm left with my suicidal mother that is trying to convince me to assist in her suicide. Fuck this gay earth. Avatarposting here has always been and will never stop being cringe.

idk because i am a no good male.
all men are ___
she did not believe me when i told her i got 30 days sober

>30 days sober
I don't really believe you either.

i still believe some of the mythical aspects but not the organization if that made sense

religion is there to comfort us.
if it fails to do that then is is not a religion

How old are you?
Do you still care for your mother even though she's so manipulative?
Are you depressed yourself?

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So she's just being a bitch to hurt you.

Why do you still believe some things?

Religion is also there to manipulate the people and to scare them into following your doctrine.

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1) i think you are right
2) Religions ppl do that not the Religion it self, that is why i quit AA
3) YOU are helping me

My age doesn't matter.
I feel I have an obligation to do what I can to help her, but I'm at the end of my rope trying.
Yes, I don't feel like living any longer, and I'm only going on to not hurt the people around me.

How old are you?
Are you depressed?
Are you suicidal?
Why did you make this thread in reality? Is it a way to distract yourself from your reality by helping others talk about theirs? It's rare that someone asks this much to each poster. I hope you're feeling well.

you are not the only one. i am in the same bout

daily
dont have the balls to try

Once a year

Well, in the end all religion is made by people. So it's always people scaring people.

Age doesn't matter? Nothing matters, but that doesn't mean I'm not curious. Are you a little paranoid, user?

Why do you feel an obligation if she's treated you badly (and still does)? Don't you feel you've paid your debt already?

Why are you depressed?

>Why did you make this thread in reality?
I don't talk to people much in my daily life and Sup Forums is a nice place to talk to randoms in a very noncommittal way. It's nice

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force of habit and the ones i still believe in, i like so it doesnt hurt

What are some things you still believe in? Other than afterlife

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i do not fear god or god's
i fear people, people are the one;s who abused me,
not the torah/ bible/ Koran /AA big book

No, I just don't think it matters. You didn't answer my question about age neither. Are you paranoid?

She's my mother and my father feared out family would tear apart after bus death. He was right, as I can't stand any of them now he's gone.

If she kills herself I don't want to live with the knowledge that I could have done more. At least I'm trying, but soon it'll be enough.

Are you depressed?
Do you have something you want to talk about yourself?

it is sounding to me like your mom wants you to "save" her and she is becoming resentful that you are a in-perfict human. like the rest of us

>You didn't answer my question about age neither.
Oh, I thought you accidentally copied my questions.
>How old are you?
25
>Are you depressed?
Probably
>Are you suicidal?
Not anymore
>Do you have something you want to talk about yourself?
No

Do you think you should do right people just because they're related by blood or because they raised you?

What would practically need to change about your life to make you want to live again?

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>Not anymore
what changed?