You're given a 200m budget. How do you fix this hot pile of shit

You're given a 200m budget. How do you fix this hot pile of shit

convince mourinho with 200m to play attacking football against the big clubs

Buy a hitman to kill every player and coach of the other league teams

It's the only hope

literally just hire a better manager. they have a pretty good squad

Weigl
Ghoulam
Meunier
Mahrez

Sell
Jones
Smalling
Darmian

vidal, marcelo and marquinhos

Oh yeah and in last resort.
Tell Mourinho to switch the fucking formation, its disgusting how ugly they are playing for a squad this good.

He won't play attacking football against fucking Huddersfield Town, let alone big clubs.

Spend 40mi on a decent CM and spend the rest on fullbacks.

I don't get this obsession with attacking football. I have even see some people complaining that Mourinho was making a CM defend. What the fuck. A CM is supposed to defend.

People are disgusted by the fact that the 9, 7 and 11 have to go down to defend.
Even Pochettino makes Kane come back to defend.

no need for 200m, just hire a competent coach that isn't past it. United is obsessed with obsolete has-beens while everyone else (minus Arsenal) is getting hip coaches

the problem is that mou seems to do it with players that aren't good at it. he turns attacking mifielders into holding midfielders, wingers into extremely limited fullbacks, strikers into jon walters clones. it's effective in the short-term because the team will work well in counterattacks, but ultimately it stifles and pisses off talented players, and when other teams figure out that they can't create anything unless handed an easy opportunity, results start to decline.

This is modern football. Defenders are supposed to help the attack and attackers are supposed to help the defence.

The only time you don't do that is if you have a freak like Messi. Even Neymar helps the defense.

What?
Matic has been a DM since Benfica. And Young and Valencia are playing as fullbacks for a lack of option.
At Chelsea, he had Ivanovic and Azpilicueta. On Real Madrid, Marcelo and Arbeloa.

As for pissing the players, his problem in Madrid was mostly with defensive players.

Change the formation, in such a way that Lukaku isn't isolated, 3-5-2, probably, with Sanchez or Rashford as a second striker
Get rid of Smalling, replace with Harry Maguire, backed up by Fosu-Mensah when he returns from his loan.
Spend remaining 170m on an improved 10-year contract for De Gea with a 1 billion buy out clause.

Play midfield three of Matic-Herrera-Pogba

Drop Sanchez for Lingard/Martial/Rashford. He seriously needs to stop conceding possession

Maybe buy some full backs

Mourinho has

Pogba who's really good as a 6 and has to act on the defense due to his good holding of the ball and good long passing.

Lingard who has to come back for the ball from Matic/Pogba or the fullbacks

Alexis comes back for the ball in the same way.

Matic has the same talents as Pogba but is not so good on the attacking side.

McTominay who is quite good to hold the ball but isn't good at all on the attacking side, last match he should had been switched with Lingard earlier.

Martial and Rashyboy come back for the ball also, but never even once had to work as fullbacks, its actually the opposite, Shaw/Young/Valencia/Blind have to go on the front as wingers for the counter and to cross the ball.

Lukaku even if people seem to hate him for his first touch, comes back to clear the ball and recover it for the counter (see last match).

Mourinho has a weird way to play counters and attacking properly sometimes, but it doesn't mean he uses players out of position all the time.

>inb4 eto fullback meme

ask for another 800m and then win the league with zinchenko at left back

Its just my intuition I guess, but I feel if De Gea goes back to Spain he's gonna turn to shit.
Just from the pressure and lack of praise, and if he goes to RM, Atletico fans are gonna spit on him anytime they get the chance.

>Matic has been a DM since Benfica.
And they fucked up as well. God knows why everyone seems to think that Matic is a defensive midfielder.

My impression is that some people on the internet think of football like Brazilians thought in the 80's, where they ignore defensive stability and want the attackers to have no defensive responsibilities. Dunno if that's because they are new fans who started following football due to highlights.

As well as having to deal with the trouble of RM fans being petulant babies if they don't win the CL every year.

>200m

cant. maybe with 500m its fixable but even then winning the league would be hard

Desu I bet most people would actually like Mou's defensive football if it was actually defensive football and not mere lack of everything else.

I would agree to do it then spend the 200m on myself
as soon as fraud charges start coming in I would take a fistful of cocaine and go out scarface style. fuck united

he's amazing holding the ball and throws GOAT passes.

Exactly

I think its mostly due to the position names and structure.
Most guys I know think that if you are a CAM you have to be attacking and can't drop for the defense.
I usually prefer the classic number positions.

>The only time you don't do that is if you have a freak like Messi. Even Neymar helps the defense.

I must say that messi without running defends more than half the high pressing forwards, but its true he never goes down to help the defenders, not that Barca usually needs it.

They need a right back to act as Valencia's understudy; a centre back who isn't a calamity/crock/both, another midfielder who can pass the ball

---------------- >De Gay --------------
Valencia -- Bailly -- ???? -- Shaw
------------------- Matic -----------------
------------- Pjanic - Pogba -----------
Lukaku ------- Martial ----- Sanchez

de gay
meunier-de vrij-bailly-shaw
matic-herrera
sanchez-jogba-martial
lucaca

Usually he drops back to help the defense throw passes at him and relieve pressure, not to actually tackle or clear the ball.

Blow it all on former Man U youth players for inflated fees. Leave. Laugh.

I agree, Pjanic would be an excellent buy
Why Lukaku on the wing and Martial central though?

Meunier is good choice for RB
I'd get De Vrij for CB or Varane but RM are cunts.

A plane and a runway in a snowy place, start afresh

Because Martial is shit on the right and Sanchez presumably is not going to play there. Lukaku looks better when he drops on to the right and they can all rotate anyway

Alternatively give Mata robot-legs which make him capable of running

He's the same kind of DM as Xabi Alonso. You don't need to be a destroyed to play defensive midfield, with positioning, intercepting ability and passing you can retain possesion without fouling everyone

Sanchez has played on the right in the past. He wouldn't have an issue starting there (Right) and interchanging / overlaping with lukaku and martial / rashford.

we are literally one proper CM from fixing this mess.

I mean, ffs, Lingard is our current first choice CM with Pogba and Matic in a 4-3-3. That sums up the state of the midfield...

Our defense is fine if Bailly wasn't injured.

Literally spend 200 million on a midfielder or two.

just arrange a plain crash and hope man city gives you half their squad as sign of respect

I'd sell all the players and promote Manchester boys, just like the good old days

then I'd buy myself a house with all the money

Buy 2 more big power nogs. It'll eventually work.

Buy the refs

sup fergie

How good would United be right now if Fergie was in charge and given the amount of money Moyes, Van Gaal and Jose had been given over the last 5 years?

announce messi

Jorginho
Rose
Sidibé
Koulibaly

By the way I struggled to think of world class rightbacks in their 20s. Who are the best ones around right now who aren't already at an elite club?

He wouldn't have spent a fraction as much and would have the likes of Blackett, McNair and Wilson playing like world beaters

Milinkovic Savic
Sidibe
a good CD

Not enough money desu

There are not great rightbacks in any age.

>who aren't already at an elite club?
Widmer will probably make a move to a non shit club at some point

Add it onto Sanchez's wages

buy £200,000,000 worth of bus tokens

Step 1: buyout Mouyes

clone Pulisic, Howard

1 striker
1 right back
1 cm
1 or 2 cbs
to go jones/smalling/lukaku/fellaini/carrick
stop playing 4-2-3-1 and go back to 4-3-3.

jose can not be expected to compete on such a small budget

When are these bums going to buy pulisic

Just watched a porno where the guy looked like Alex Ferguson

When they want money from american customers

>You now remember Valencia, Evra, Ferdinand and Vidic with Van der Sar behind them

Oh lads, where did it all go wrong? How did we go from arguably the greatest defence of all time to Smalling and Jones?

Sir Alex

I dissolve it and give the money to United FC of Manchester

Remember when Herrera was good? Just fire Mouyes he's wrecking everything now after the little success of last season

...

Nooooooo he belongs to liverrrrr

Don't need that much at all

This

Literally buy more Lukakus

Valencia never played RB when the other 4 were at United.

Is Shaw any good?

Yeah, he's growing from game to game since his comeback. Bad thing is I think Mou still sees Young as no1 for the moment.

Put it in my pocket and wait for it to fix itself

>Pogba who's really good as a 6

I stopped there.