See this in theaters as a kid

>see this in theaters as a kid
>laugh at him
>see it today
>hits too close to home

DON'T REMIND ME

>as a kid
m8 ur not 40 yet

>See this at 5 in theatres
>think he's cool for not being married because i wanted to never marry and always live with my parents when I was 5

>be 27yo virgin
>can't really talk to normalfags because they always talk about relationshits and fucking
>so I have no friends
>know that no girl would be interested in dating me
>know that other guys just want to make their stupid jokes about muh virginity
>the only woman in my dating pool would probably be fat used up single moms
>want to kill myself but kinda want to know what Sup Forums is up to in the future
>its probably just more threads like this

brb ordering helium now

>want to know what Sup Forums is up to
i could never kill myself though
im too afraid of pain

but helium is painless death

>tfw it's been 5 whole days since you've had sex

I don't think I'm going to make it bros

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes,

>mfw never even saw a tit in the last 27 years

>Tfw asexual
>Tfw normies get buttblusted when I tell them

>mfw this guy wants to float away to death

They ALL float, THEY ALL FLOAAAAT!!

>Tfw when your blonde hair, blue eyed wife is 8 months pregnant and the sex stops very soon

Dunno what I'm going to do m8

Kek same, people don't believe me.

>about to commit suicide
>helium tank, gas mask assembly complete
>put on mask
>turn on tank
>lay down face up on bed
>close eyes
>mum opens door
>"user WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
>take off gas mask
>prepare the most dramatic speech that will make her cry for sure
>deep breath
>attempt to begin speech, forget that there's helium in lungs
>the words "you'll never understand my pain" come out in the squeakiest, queerest chipmunk voice
>she fucking starts laughing

If you're asexual you're literally a defective human being and should probably just kill yourself

Exit bag my friend, ease as fuck

This is what I was talking about, anyway, tell this to Pope Francis

I like this film

kinda dumb not to do it at night so nobody can interrupt you.

This is good though, even further incentive to go through with it. Next time you'll get it right bro.

Can't remember when I first read that pasta

Deep breath out friend, Turn the gas on and breath in deeply 2 times and drift peacefully into the night...

why, the whole point is it doesnt matter if youve fucked random sluts your whole life

>>the words "you'll never understand my pain" come out in the squeakiest, queerest chipmunk voice

it comes across as untruthful denial.
like being so depressed you just black something out.

Tfw no one on Sup Forums will believe that I denied a qt that wanted to fuck me.

Considering I've never masturbated to sex, but only to the idea of being digested alive, I think this counts as being asexual

But all the people who had sex before in this movie are a mess. He's the only one who isn't a massive moron

>friends ask me out for a few drinks
>talk about their gfs, dating and sex all the time
>meanwhile me, 25yo kv

how do i escape this hell bros?

stop hanging out with them

...

we're in the same class, avoiding them would be really awkward

tell them you busy
with korean shit

you tried asking a girl out?

I get that Sup Forums has some late boomers, but you should have had this panic at 20 and remedy it by 23

But Andy was a likeable social human being. He's far better than most people posting here today.

>be 25yo virgin some years ago
>ask some girl for her number at work
>have to repeat myself a couple of times until she gives me her number
>she never writes back

didn't worked so good, now still virgin.
fucking whores

i fear rejection way too much to try, frequent depression episodes dont help either

>you tried asking a girl out?

my problem is I can get a girl to go out with me. once, maybe even two or three times. but eventually she always just ends up ignoring me/tells me she's started seeing someone else. it's happened so many times now I've lost count. I don't even want to bother going through the bullshit/spending money on dates anymore. I have completely just stopped giving a shit about getting laid.

I was like that till 23, now I'm 26 and had a few gfs. You're not too late unless you're hideous.

>see this at 5
>movie came out 12 years ago
...

i don't like any of the girls i meet

think of it as money keeping your brain active female isolation gives you brain damage

I never even managed to get a date.

>was a huge misogynist growing up because of being fat and getting rejected
>get skinny and better looking
>still very awkward but eventually figure out how to get literally any woman
>even more misogynist now that I know the man behind the curtains
This is fucking awful. I wish I never looked up PUA shit. Talking to women has become so easy and formulaic. I'm never surprised and they're like slightly smarter dogs to me now.
The same shit works every single fucking time no matter how smart or aware they call themselves.
Fuck this.

>turn bi out of sexual frusration
>fuck a bunch of guys and traps
>still feel like a virgin because I havent fucked a girl

...

tfw ive had many girlfriends and boyfriends over the years but theyve always made the first step, I never approached first myself
To this day, i still dont know how to approach anyone

It's all over m8, say goodbye to sexy time, ain't never gonna return.

>be bi
>still end up 25 year old hhkv

>when the only woman that approach you are fat single mothers and literal crack whores

dude grindr

So what does a woman need to do to be smart to you? Is it the fact that they fall for the pickup lines or what?

I cant tell if im bi or asexual or what

>can see and understand men and women who are attractive
>never look at someone and think of actual sex with them
>fap, its pretty emotionless, will go a week or two without fapping again
>never wake up wishing I had a bf/gf

Its almost like I barely have a sex drive at all.

What's the secret?

most of the times i attract people from other countries, maybe its my italian charme or something
But everyone soon learns that behind the cool facade im only interested in soccer and videogames so they all eventually leave

I have nothing going for me, I'm just a random balding white dude.

Teach me, master

take zinc

enjoy your aids

>dodges succubi for decades
>this is seen as a bad thing

Women slowly suck out your soul.

suca

No but you can not be not interested in sex!!! kill yourself!!!!!!

clergy make a conscienceness vow to stay chaste (most are fags), the tumblr definition of asexual makes it sound like an orientation, which is pretty pathetic

I don't know the tumblr definiton of asexual, I'm not into sex but only into my weird vore fetish, doesn't that count as asexual?

>when virgins start believing their jokes

>wanting a roastie

for what purpose? they add nothing but useless responsibilities to ones life.
better avoid.

ma stai zitto bufu sei un coglione di merda bufu mongoloide che voi na mazzettata sotto ai denti non passare a roma che piji na sveglia che te a ricordi

>balding

Hahahahahahaha

...

you sound like a very special person user, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise

Nice strawman I guess?

ha menato darkside mo viene anche per te se non ti chiudi quella bocca di merda

I don't even care that much about it but normies bring it up all the time.

no I believe you, you can stop trying to persuade me

Persuade you about what?

this

>tfw jerk off to beautiful 10/10 woman instead of trying to get some 4/10 gf

for me RL woman lost when HD porn became a thing

Actually pretty sad when you think abour it; being okay with stroking your dick to girls getting banged by someone else

Asexual vore? I thought we were done here

C U C K

Yes?

I'm glad you understand

>the only woman in my dating pool would probably be fat used up single moms

Trust me, single moms still have better options than you.

...I've seen it.

I firmly believe porn is virtual cuckoldry

Unless it's lesbian

A baldie faggot like you dont deserve double dubs

Asexuality is a meme for virgins trying to cope with being worthless losers and faggots traumatized by having a bad sex once

>>want to kill myself but kinda want to know what Sup Forums is up to in the future
lol.

>want to kill myself but kinda want to know what Sup Forums is up to in the future

Has Sup Forums produced anything of worth in the last 4 years?

>want to kill myself with helium in the future once all the fun and hope dries up
>retarded americans are selling the worlds largest helium reserve for dirt cheep to kids birthday parties
>probably won't be able to afford what little helium is left in 20 years

FUCK

I saw an ass once, bunch of women coming home from hen party. One of them decided to drop their pants.

It never comes back. No really, first it's "I'm still healing", then it's "I'm tired from the baby", then it's "not while the kids are awake" and "but what if the kids wake up". Eventually you get used to the once a month schedule where you get 3 minutes and she just lays there spread eagle telling you to finish up.

That said I have 2 sons and they're fun to play with and actually have unconditional love for me so you lose somethings but gain others.

>I had sex

Fuck off.

what if you only fap to solos?

But I only watch solo stuff

checkmate

It's very, very simple.
You keep an emotional distance from them 95% of the time but occasionally target them with a very precise moment of emotion and opening up. It puts the delusion in their head that they're special and you only change and show vulnerability for her.
This switch between being an asshole and showing her love rarely is the kind of emotional roller coaster women are fucking addicted to.

can confirm

14 more years

>If i pull that off will you die?
>It would be extremely hilarious.

>solos
I'm not sure how that doesn't drive you crazy later on. Just some pixels on a screen you can't touch.

Legit had this same thought earlier today when I saw this while browsing Netflix.

Albeit I was 18 when this first came out, and even back then the film made me uncomfortable cause I wondered if I'd end up like him.

I'm 30 now.