Confess my children

Confess my children

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I once sniffed my dogs ass

I burnt microwaved bacon yesterday because i put it in the microwave for two minutes instead of one.

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Your sins have been forgiven

I once sucked my mom's tampon clean

Dear father, I have not sinned, but I do hold secrets I am shamed of...

When I pop my pimples, I eat the pus. I have done this since 11-12. I am 32 now. Nobody knows I do this. I joked about it once with my friends asking if they ever tried but they were grossed out by it. I played it off as if I were grossed out too. But its something I do. Like when people eat their boogers. Only I eat my pimple pus..

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Why did you steal my confession thread ? Repent, user

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Your picture is sinful.

Exactly, the picture is to lure the lost sheep of Israel into my thread and confess their sins.

I have more desire to do something with my second girlfriend than with my girlfriend.

Mostly because the second one wants more sex.

My child, that is not the uniform of a believer. Perhaps you should confess.

But by doing that you have exposed yourself to that very temptation.

Im currently working on a short video of a tornado full of black people and the lighting is the bloods and crips shooting at one another, black church signers, and every building the tornado goes over turns into a Popeyes, kfc, or burger king. The eye of the storm is LeBron James screaming "DO YOU WANT A SPRITE CRANBERRY!!!!!!!!!????".

why when I pray for my most important wish is God not paying attention?

I once tried to put a duck out of it’s misery after it got seriously fucked up by a car. Had nothing nearby to use so I decided to gutter stomp it’s head. It’s skull didn’t cave in like I thought it would and all I did was pop an eyeball out of it’s socket. I freaked out and left it there still alive.

> summer 2018
> walking home after drinking with friends
> 3am, no one else out
> see car speeding down street
> crashes into trees on the median full speed
> 6foot diameter palm tree snapped like a twig
> the front passenger corner is where the car caught the tree and the impact causes car to 90turn to the right and flip over
> 1.5 flips, lands on roof, 200 feet away
> engine literally ripped out of the bay, 100 ft away from wreckage
> check for survivors
> see phone on ground
> 1txt msg:”drive safe, lmk when u home. Dumbass lol”
> tooLate.jpg
> find driver. Mangled up
> left arm in ribbons, must have gotten crushed from flying out the window & getting rolled over on
> head is cut up, bad
> chest gushing blood
> he’s strapped in, upside down
> pleading with me for help
> I just stare
> he tries to unbuckle seatbelt
> succeeds
> falls onto roof of car
> i hear a weird “SNAP” sound
> “user help me plz I cant feel my chest downward”
> him falling was enough to break his spine I guess
> he’s beginning to cry. Bawling
> passes out
> I realize the reality of what’s happening and call 911
> they arrive quickly
> no pulse
> medics try to resuscitate, no use
> tell me they cant do CPR because his ribs broke and spine is likely fractured
> he’s lost too much blood
> they call it Time of Death: 4:43AM

I think about that day a lot. Idk why I acted like that. I could have saved him maybe. Instead I sat around for half an hour to watch him suffer. He wasn’t too much older than me either. At first he was all “holyshit that was crazy “to in pain to pleading and i cringe when I remember him crying. He must have known he was going to die. He searched frantically for his phone.
The cops and paramedics praised me for calling it in ASAP because i lied

I regret this deeply

I can’t ever tell anyone IRL as long as I live.
Mr dudebro im so sorry

discord gg/rRVQkgw

full of pedophiles

I hope you want people to report it...

Bump

about to get kicked out of the military for drug tests, have it coming this weekend and have been smoking everyday for past month

Why not just ask your gf for more sex?
What Benefits do each have that keeps you interested in both and not just one?

This is where the term "quack doctor" comes from

You were in shock, he was going to die. I would forgive yourself for this one. Life ain't a movie, you acted normally,

My GF is under a lot of pressure at work...

The benefits of the second one is her age and her sex hunger

I masturbated yesterday

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Look man, coming from someone who's trained in Emergency Medicine, this is a totally fucked situation in which there was really nothing you could have done. Forgive yourself. At least he didn't have to die alone.