Say "JOY LANE"

Remember when they said there was going to be a Dark Tower movie, starring everyone's favorite token "British" negro?

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So there isn't? What happened to it

I like Idris Elba.

HOL UP

Considering it has been delayed twice, and there's still no trailer, it might as well be dead. Sony is sitting on its heel, trying to keep this steaming turd hidden in its anus as long as it can.

What a fucking disaster

>people actually think this will ruin the series because idris elba is black
>they always fail to mention that the series went full retard on book 5 and beyond

Is it even possible for the movie to be worse than Wolves of the Calla? Or the fates of Jake and Susannah?

>token

There's at least 3 well-known british black people in american tv and cinema, and a shitload of other british actors playing americans.

With every passing day I feel like the entire series seems even more stupid than the day prior. Its like the more you think about it the more everything, not just past 5, but past the first installment is just total trash fiction.

Didn't a trailer get leaked and for some reason it takes place in modern day new york like some shitty marvel movie?

I haven't read the books but I thought it was a fantasy western thing.

I don't care if he's green. And you're 100% correct. And yes, it will be even worse. People want a cross between "High Plains Drifter" and "Excalibur". Sony is serving up the aborted fetus of Will Smith's "Wild Wild West" and "Stargate".

here's a leaked trailer

youtube.com/watch?v=UYyQsSGm2po

Some of it takes place in NYC. The characters jump to different worlds.

AYO HOL UP
WHERE OMAR AT

>fantasy western thing.
its some sort of western with a lot of hidden technology ala lost

so what's the chances this movie never comes out? Has a studio ever done that? Produced an entire movie but cut their loses and forgot about it?

this isn't based on wolves of the calla

It has happened. Sony will probably release it with minimal marketing (in progress, actually). No sequels will be made. They've been hedging and paring the budget since Akiva (((Goldsman))) got involved.

>have plans for a massive universe with multiple films and tv shows
>start your franchise off by rushing a shitty film

stop doing this. it never works

The mistakes start with not trusting the source material. Changing story lines to make it "more marketable" etc. etc. etc. As if there isn't a built-in fanbase of millions who just want to see a Sergio Leone tier spaghetti western with magic n shit. I can't for the life of me understand hollywood "reasoning".

Idris is a pretty good actor, why the fuck does it matter?

They really should've just made a high budget mini series of the Gunslinger. It's the best part, it works as a stand alone, and you could branch out into the rest of the series if you wanted from there.

Instead we're going to get a trainwreck.

cause roland is white

>its just the protagonist goy! its not a big deal to change him!

>see OP image

Cool, so Blade 4 is a go, right? Right?

Tons of people are "pretty good actors". Stop baiting.

How is he not British?

they have tv plans but since this movie will bomb the show wont happen

indiewire.com/2016/09/the-dark-tower-tv-series-idris-elba-wizard-and-glass-adaptation-stephen-king-1201729178/

They'll probably dump it in January 2018

WE

Only agree up to the point where you said the series went to shit after book 5. W&G was best :^)

This could have been the next huge fantasy series like LOTR/HP but Sony had to make something this generic looking.

I feel sorry for Rorschach. Hopefully he gets put in the IT sequel as an apology.

lmao, cuck

WUZN'T

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DECENDED FROM ARTHUR ELD

>A gum-chewing cutie with rollers in her blonde hair sat in the box office listening to Led Zep on her transistor and reading one of the tabloids of which Mrs. Shaw was so fond. To her left, in the theater's remaining display case, there was a poster showing Clint Eastwood.
>Jake knew he should get moving—three o'clock was almost here— but he paused a moment anyway, staring at the poster behind the dirty, cracked glass. Eastwood was wearing a Mexican serape. A cigar was clamped in his teeth. He had thrown one side of the serape back over his shoulder to free his gun. His eyes were a pale, faded blue. Bombardier's eyes.
>It's not him, Jake thought, but it's almost him. It's the eyes, mostly ... the eyes are almost the same.

my god... the resemblance is uncanny!

dark tower can't be a movie i don't know why they even bother

stop being a faggot

WHERE IS THE FUCKING TRAILER? I have an honest question. Does this movie even actually EXIST? Or do they have some half-finished thing that needs to come out in a few months and they have no idea what to do?

>he hasn't seen the leaked trailer

I have and I can tell you that it's utter shite. This is coming from an avid Dark Tower fanatic.

Not only because Roland is being played by a nigger. They've got the whole tone and chronology wrong. At its core it needs to have a western vibe which the film doesn't.

It's not a perfect comparison, but the same thing happened with adapting "The Golden Compass". Big plans, high concept, A-list cast, parallel world... but they couldn't just trust the source material. "No one will get it!" "Needs MORE CGI!" (((They))) completely tanked a viable franchise before it got off the ground. Same thing will happen here and it's a damn shame.

Let's make a Ghostbusters starring women they said.

Let's take a series of mythic gunslinger books and cast a nigger as the lead they said.

He fucking ruined that sweater.

That's all of Stephen King's work for you.

Say, let's cast this nigger as JAMES BOND for no reason other than to appease niggers and the SJW self-loathing white middle upper class closet faggots who hunger for their dicks. Seriously, maybe if niggers were sub-human animals who have NO CULTURE then they'd have their own fictional heroes and wouldn't need to desperately guilt people into casting them as white characters.

Fucking niggers, the world would be a better place if every last one was wiped from the face of the Earth.

Redpill me on dark tower.
Why is he dressed like a cowboy and why is all the cover art and shit wild west inspired but all these set shots look like they're on a regular city street?

that's not a disagreement, since W&G was book 4.

this plus trying to save money by hiring some nobody director with little experience. Same mistake as IT.

This deserved an auteur.

who is Haley supposed to be playing? another incarnation of Walter O'Dim? a new character written just for the film?

Roland is the last gunslinger in a "world that has moved on." It's a desert western landscape. There are occasional scenes in New York City in the books, but I can't remember any with Roland himself in NYC. Just other characters who go through doorways into Roland's world (although Roland occasionally inhabits somebody's mind in NYC).

The producers have said the movie is telling a completely different story from the books. And it's also clear they abandoned the western/gunslinger themes and cast an urban guy in an urban environment. It doesn't really resemble the source material at all.

Remember when nit was supposed to be released in February?

>What looks like a shit movie adaptation of a shit book series
>produced by Sony
>August 4, 2017 release date
>Almost no marketing

Jesus Christ I hope they're starting to realize that Blacks are unprofitable in media. Because I've had my fill of niggers being shoehorned into literally everything since 3 years ago

The story is supposed to follow Book 7 with roland in his new loop. weird choice considering this is a start of a franchise

This tbqh. The Stephen King pasta isn't entirely wrong in that he has a large normie fanbase that will watch whatever has his name on it, and the Dark Tower is his most 'epic' work.

If they'd wanted to edit shit out, they should've saved it for post W&G. How can they be this retarded

>Market and present a Stephen King story as an Eastwood-tier western (with magic, demons, and tweests)
>make hundreds of millions
>don't go autistic until book 3-5

The Gunslinger and Drawing of the Three aren't niche at all and were perfect for the GoT/R&M/Breaking Bad demographics.

He's a nigger

WHEE ORE CONSULIN THEE OPOKOLIPSE

According to Wikipedia, it was originally scheduled to be released on February 17, 2017, then in it was pushed back to March 2017, and now it's scheduled for released on August 4, 2017. The trailer was leaked on October 10, 2016.

Apparently, Sony originally wanted DT to kick start a cinematic universe, with a tv show and sequel movies, but that doesn't seem very likely now. It's just another example of Sony being retarded; They wanted to do the exact same thing with Ghostbusters and Spiderman.

I stopped reading when Doombots became a thing.

I wanted to, but I'd already invested so much time that I couldn't. You didn't miss anything at all.

>we will never get a Dark Tower movie series with Clint Eastwood as aging Roland who now can finally complete his adventure because he picked up the horn of Eld in this timeline

is there a movie studio that is a bigger bunch of fuckups than Sony?

I'd ask what kind of out of touch fools run the show, but I get the feeling it starts with a J and rhymes with news.

>Almost no marketing
they haven't even released a trailer it was never supposed to be competing with the summer blockbusters so they don't know what to do with it

How do the books end

might as well push it into january 2018

With the beginning.

Awful

its a copout of an ending

the timeline jumps back to the beginning of the series with the hero gaining knowledge of a mistake he made that must be corrected the next time through the loop

roland climbs to tower to realize that his journey and the entire series has been a part of a loop. just one out of hundreds, because he keeps fucking up. roland wakes up at the start of the first book with King implying this is the last loop because he has an arbitrary horn. Idris elba roland has the horn.

Worse than awful.

Whats the word for that

I've never read this shit. Are there any racial implications or issues? Is the subject even brought up in the books?

why didn't they cast Scott Eastwood

yeah it was a terrible way to end the series, but you could see it coming from the way that books 5-7 were rapidly degrading in overall quality and coherence

books 1-4 and book 8 (which is book 4.5 in sequence) are all pretty good tho -- so its a bit like Dexter or Lost or possibly GoT

they're saying that to justify all the changes to the story

>guyz it's a new iteration we can literally have Roland do anything we want!

That shit's gonna bomb.

...

Yes, there's a black female character from 1960s New York, who is a civil rights activist and has a split personality. Sometimes she's a sweet nice lady and sometimes she's a hateful anti-white psychopath. This half initially despises Roland and Eddie ("honky muh-fuhs"), but Roland hypnotizes her or something and combines her two personalities into one strong woman with only the best of both personalities.

She's a major character books 2-7. She and Eddie (white guy) fall in love and are a couple in books 3-7.

tbf she gets her split personality when jack mort throws a brick at her head.

then later he pushes her in front of a train that amputates her legs

mort is later possessed by roland to get some antibiotics after a giant beach lobster gnaws off his trigger finger and roland stops mort from pushing jake in front of a subway train which creates a paradox


it goes on like this

OMAR COMIN YO

Don't forget how the black woman literally clamps her vagina to trap a demon she proceeds to rape

The dark tower books are fucking retarded

Probably because he's worse than shit-tier as an actor with only the minor genetic gift of a pretty face given to him by his dad.

Why is british in quotes here?

What did OP mean by this?

I've read the first book of this series, but it's been awhile and I only vaguely remember it. Is the rest of the series worth reading? I hear a lot of mixed things about it.

Absolutely not

It sounds like you probably wouldn't enjoy it.

What makes you say that? I think I liked the first book, but I read it all in one evening years ago and can only remember little bits and pieces from it.

Don't know why they put Viggo in blackface, the book says he's supposed to be white

then go ahead and read them. the first 4 are pretty good

...

the second book is probably the best, so read that.

Race of a character shouldn't be a problem unless its a conflict in the story its self

is a conflict whit one of the other characters, quite a big one at that.
Since they are not doing the story form the books, they can do whatever anyway.

>I see a black man
couldn't he just say I see a cowboy?

Leftism tends to do that

How can you forget the face of your father is you never knew him?

It has happened
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j1p0_R8ZLB0

I've noticed that the alt-right gets especially cringey and predictable about this time of night. Is it an Aussie thing? You guys alt-right down there mate with your shrimps on the barbie and good sheilas?