Toilet issues you face

>urge to shit
>rush toilet
>feel the fat sturdy turd making a run for it
>SUDDENLY PISS
>Piss all over the bathroom because I can't control both my anus and my urethra
>have to clean up bathroom with pants down

>keeping your dick outside of the bowl
pissing and shitting at the same time is normal though

My extremely large schlong can't fit while I also shitting though

throw it over your shoulder, or wrap it over your leg so that it aims into the bowl

Shut up

What do you mean it can't fit you idiot. I'll humor you and pretend I believe it is that big.
Sit on the toilet, scoot all the way to the back of the seat, tuck your cock into the bowl then scoot forward again (to your normal sitting position)...provided you aren't hard this shouldn't cause you any issues.

Don't know why that would be so hard to work out.

>not putting it over your shoulder and down your back and then arsecrack to kill two birds with one stone

>scoot all the way to the back of the seat
If I do this I will spray the toilet seat with shit.

HOLD THE SHIT IN UNTIL YOUR DICK IS TUGGED.

Jesus christ.

But then I can't pee...

dig a fucking hole then

We don't have any mud where I live I can't do this

well then it looks like your only fucking option is to wear a diaper

It's all about diapers with you, isn't it

>flag

took you long enough

what are you supposed to do here.
Fuck standing on the grate but if somebody does and you piss on it you feel like a cunt
Who designed this

ignore it and just piss in the toilets

>pissing in a stall like a soft cock

You have to use the bars to scrape the shit of your ass

Just got back home after standing in line for my weekly designated spot

Tell us more about your enjoyable experience.

Nah it wasn't that fun. If it wasnt for my phone spazzing out for some reason, I could've just booked it online like always.

Maybe you should drop that leftist SJW roman canalisation meme and shit in the woods like a pure nordic