Be me, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnedain, the heir of Isildur Elendil’s son of Gondor

>Be me, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnedain, the heir of Isildur Elendil’s son of Gondor.
>Finally defeat Sauron, peace in Middle Earth.
>Become King of Gondor after singing an autistic song at my coronation
>All my friends fuck off to the literally perfect realm of the undying lands to smoke dank pipe weed all day
>I am left to rule over smelly gondor peasants
>At least I get to fuck my hot elf wife
>Have zero knowledge of economics
>Implement an incredibly poor tax policy
>Fuck it, I’m a wise and good king, nothing can go wrong.
>Land literally ravaged by war
>Farms trampled and ruined, no crops, no food
>Population begin to starve
>Get loan from Bank of Rohan
>Buy food from the west, problem solved
>Shit we ran out of food
>Owe money to Rohan, 2000% interest
>Try to enforce emergency tax collection
>Can’t - army gone because I didn’t pay them
>Streets of Minas Tirith crumbling due to zero investment in infrastructure
>Suddenly thousands of orc refugees turn up at gates
>They’re demanding welfare payments
>They begin to breed the women
>Hot elf wife cucks me with and Uruk Hai bull
>Best option at this point is to an hero Denethor style
>Praise Eru for gift of mortality
>Mfw all of this happened because of shitty tax policy

Gee, really lights up your beacons, I guess GRR > JRR after all :)

Tolkien was a hack, how is this not clear to everyone already

As long as meat was back on the menu, im good

But this never happened. Its implied that he had a good tax policy

No one gives a shit about taxes in a fantasy setting. Finish the last book you useless fat fuck.

JRR's retort to Garm doesn't get posted nearly enough.
Literally BTFO'd from beyond the grave.

>Dúnedain
this triggers my autism. singular is Dúnedan.

>Write a "serious, grounded adult fantasy"
>It turns into generic chosen one saves the day trash
>It gets completely convoluted to the point you can't figure things out because you've padded out the story so much to sell more books
>You're so lazy that your massive influx of new fans can't buy a new book because you'd rather blog and spend your time talking about better authors
>The TV series based on your work starts spoiling things you haven't even written yet
>You die before you finish your novels
>People finish your books using notes for that money

>>Be me, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnedain, the heir of Isildur Elendil’s son of Gondor.
>>Finally defeat Sauron, peace in Middle Earth.
>>Become King of Gondor after singing an autistic song at my coronation
>>All my friends fuck off to the literally perfect realm of the undying lands to smoke dank pipe weed all day
>>I am left to rule over smelly gondor peasants
>>At least I get to fuck my hot elf wife
>>Have zero knowledge of economics
>>leave the economic policies to expert advisers
>>everyone lives happily ever after

there

oh and what is the bank of rohan gonna do if aragorn owes them? he can slaughter them and take all their money and give them to his feudal lords, the fuck they gonna do? he's the motherfucking king of Gondor and Arnor

It's actually Dúnadan

Why are Rohan's interest rates so high?

because Aragorn fucked Eomer's hot sister

>>>expert advisers

is currency even mentioned in LOTR once?

Because great kings like William the conqueror, Charlemagne, Darius the great, etc., were all expert economists and without their deep understanding of tax policy their kingdoms and empires would've fallen apart, right?

Fucking critical theory marxist fags need to hang

Bravo GURM

where are their kingdoms now faggot?

William = United Kingdom

Charlemagne = France+Germany

Darius = Iran

too accurate

Carolingian empire = gone
Achaemenid empire = gone
House of Normandy = gone

>Fucking critical theory marxist fags need to hang

if they were all put in a gulag the world would be a better place

op is a faggot

>The only good kings are those whose kingdoms survived for infinity

I know you're shitposting but that's just remarkably stupid.

?
Where is it?

last two digits are number of chromosomes you possess

Daddy Trump will last for infinity

In the books and all the movie:
>muh gold
gold coins, it's what the hobbit is about
gold coins featured through out the LoTR trilogy

idk it was posted many months ago and I didn't bother saving it cause I thought it would put these pathetic trolls to rest once and for all, seeing as it was literally point for point a reply to garm's retarded criticisms
but no one has posted it since and these pro-garm trolls continue posting these threads about gondor taxes on a weekly basis

it was probably from one of his letters

Too bad, would have liked it.

GRRM didn't have Galadriel riverdancing though

when will LOTR shitposting end

Is taxposting back on the menu?

a few years after the next lotr movie is released.

>But within those few years a new one is made

is Flying by Eagle a Vouched Travel Expense or a set Allowance? would being leased one count as a BIK?

what's the story with this riverdancing meme?

We've 'ad nuffink but maggoty Rick and Morty posting for 3 stinkin days!

autism

This taxposting shit is so fucking dumb. I know it's just one dude spamming shit like this and hoping it will eventually become a bigger meme like Bane?

fuck offf

this

...

anything's better than le bane cia meme

>I now wish that no appendices had been promised! For I think their appearance in truncated and compressed form will satisfy nobody: certainly not me; clearly from the (appalling mass of) letters I receive not those people who like that kind of thing - astonishingly many; while those who enjoy the book as an 'heroic romance' only, and find 'unexplained vistas' part of the literary effect, will neglect the appendices, very properly.
>I am not now at all sure that the tendency to treat the whole thing as a kind of vast game is really good - certainly not for me, who finds that kind of thing only too fatally attractive. It is, I suppose, a tribute to the curious effect that story has, when based on very elaborate and detailed workings of geography, chronology, and language, that so many should clamour for sheer 'information' or 'lore'

>... while many like you demand maps, others wish for geological indications rather than places; many want Elvish grammars, phonologies, and specimens; some want metrics and prosodies.... Musicians want tunes, and musical notation; archaeologists want ceramics and metallurgy; botanists want a more accurate description of the mallorn, of elanor, niphredil, alfirin, mallos, and symbelmynë; historians want more details about the social and political structure of Gondor; general enquirers want information about the Wainriders, the Harad, Dwarvish origins, the Dead Men, the Beornings, and the missing two wizards (out of five).

It amounts to "I could have gone into autistic detail about everything, but no matter how much I write, I would never satisfy everyone and it takes away from the fact that LOTR is ultimately just a story"

that's not the one I was referring to but ok

the omission of the unimportant details makes it only really epic.

Daily reminder, taxation is theft.

>2017
>still being a libertardian

>taxation is theft
>exclusively libertarian

also, nice argument.

Property is theft

Umm... that literally doesnt count

I'd say it's extortion more than theft

>retort by someone who died decades before GRRM even got big

BTFO

(Its actually true, a lesson star wars fags could live by)

And if you think otherwise I'll have you sent to a camp to freeze to death in the winter or possibly buried alive. That's unless the mob doesn't murder you first desu senpai

How did the shire sustain itself?

lmao state of you

>how does a rural land full of farms sustain itself

That takes care of food what about the economic aspect, how the hell did that society even function

>extortion isn't theft

It was semi-feudal.

You don't usually get locked up or anything after someone steals something from you

they had a mayor

Trading of goods to nearby bree. I think its even mentioned in the lotr books

All the trickle-down wealth provided by Bilbo's treasure ensured the economy remained afloat

>tax day was this monday
>didn't see any gandalf "FILE, YOU FOOLS" threads

>mfw I render your property meaningless

He wasnt THAT rich.

Now that we come to it, bilbo has a mythril shirt that the dwarves value as 3x the entirety of the shire so how the fuck would he have cashed that shirt since everyone is dirt poor?

mfw grrm was right

That fat fuck only presided over and spoke at feasts. The Thain and the Master of Buckland had more power in their own lands than him.

Pretty much all fanboys actually. People (read: autistic nerds) over analyze The Simpsons for fuck's sake.

The same way niggers sustain themselves, hobbits are basically niggers living off welfare from Gondor.
EYO I NEED MO MONEY FROM DAT RASIZ BIG ASS KANG OF GONDOR

Its because its tribal. The mayor still holds the power and is elected into office its just the backwards yokels take more note of the "village chief"

lel

Like literally every village back in feudal times? They even grew tobacco so they had an export article.

The Ring of power would arguably reach a price higher than any other object at a Middle Earth auction

growing tabacco is tricky itself but turning it into something smokeable is really, really hard. How did they get this knowledge? Also i doubt they could properly dry the tobacco is this climate desu schmesu

Yes, I don't, but the other guy does.

>you need the sun to cure tobacco

hmm'm looks like GURM was right again

no but you need a dry climate

Tolkien wrote a whole preface about pipeweed / tobacco for LoTR
>growing tabacco is tricky itself but turning it into something smokeable is really, really hard. How did they get this knowledge?
Well so is building cities and crafting all the other shit they use and somehow they manage all that

but muh south farthing weed

Stop defending this childish banality user; Tolkien was a hack fraud

No you dont

When you have nothing to do but grow shit all fucking day I assume you learn a thing or two, specially when it comes to supplying a hobby to have to fill that endless void that is your life of growing crops for fucking ever.
Same reason people developed booze/Mead, you need something to do so you don't die from fucking boredom.

That and everyone was too retarded to not die from contaminated water.

I like to imagine all those hobbitses working in fields for rudimentary sustenance, but that's not how Middle Earth works, no, they are blessed with a literal paradise full of honey and beer

yes you do you fucking faggot. keep in mind they didnt have machines that could keep the humitity in a room low or anything like that. they had solely to rely on the climate and wind.

they had a resident isitari looking after them. not much can go wrong that way.

Even outside the Took and Brandybuck families, the Mayor didn't seem to have that much of an authority besides his office as chief of a grand total of 12 policemen.

At least read Tolkien's abortive sequel before writing this drivel.

King Elessar's reign was peaceful and prosperous and everything went well. It just got so comfortable that people started wanting power and influence because there was no longer an orcish menace. Still, things are good until he dies. After that, politics start coming into the mix, as well as privileged Gondor noble sons without anything to do establishing Cults to Melkor and dressing up like orcs (like a bunch of modern day satanists but actually evil) like during the days of Numenor

There is law enforcement in the Shire? Who wrote the laws

Well of course there is law enforcement in the Shire, you have to make sure the Hobbits pay their taxes

Ah yes of course
I bet Bilbo didn't pay his taxes on all the treasure he bought back from his adventures, better gather call for the police

Is this headcanon or is it in the silmarillion?

Wouldn't mind reading a got story set in middle-earth iibchwyfam

"I did begin a story placed about 100 years after the Downfall, but it proved both sinister and depressing. Since we are dealing with Men, it is inevitable that we should be concerned with the most regrettable feature of their nature: their quick satiety with good. So that the people of Gondor in times of peace, justice and prosperity, would become discontented and restless — while the dynasts descended from Aragorn would become just kings and governors — like Denethor II or worse. I found that even so early there was an outcrop of revolutionary plots, about a centre of secret Satanic religion; while Gondor boys were playing at being Orcs and going around doing damage. I could have written a 'thriller' about the plot and its discovery and overthrow — but it would have been just that. Not worth doing."

Holy fuck germ BTFO

>Bank of Rohan

literally what. like those horse-riding barbarians have any banks.

it's the Bank of Erebor.

You mean (((Erebor)))

Quads confirm. Chosen people after all

That 2000% interest makes alot of sense now

is 2000% interest even aloud? surely its usury

Why not just borrow money from the Dwarves instead?

She wasnt hot. Why do you think he gave her to Faramir while hes plowing foreign proncess pussy?