My job is consuming my life and it's hurting my relationship with my wife and son...

My job is consuming my life and it's hurting my relationship with my wife and son. I work the night shift 50-60 hours a week so I'm never home but this is probably the best paying job I can get with just a high school diploma and my family needs the money and benefits...They also need me as a husband and father and honestly I need some fucking me time too. Any of you anons work a lot and still manage a decent family life? How do you do it?

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do you communicate with your wife? does she see your perspective?

The reason those jobs pay as much as they do is because they know that they're difficult positions to fill given that it's almost impossible to achieve an effective work - life balance.

Solution: look for job opportunities for senior/experienced candidates in your profession that offer the schedule you need. Stay at your current job long enough to aquire whatever amount of experience those job opportunities require. Then apply. Until then, you'll just have to bare with it.

This honestly. If you don't get a trade or degree, experience is what you need to build on

We communicate. She appreciates that I take care of all the bills and that we all benefit from the company's benefits. But that doesn't detract from the fact that she needs help at home with our son and house work in general.

Yeah, we agreed it'd be easier if I worked 1st shift but we also currently need my night shift premium. After I get a couple more raises so my base pay is higher I could probably switch to 1st shift. But that'd be a couple years, I've only been here about a year. Its a factory if you didn't already infer that. I want to get forklift certified but I'm afraid of dropping shit and getting fired

I get that. It's just really hard in the mean time. It's nice not having to worry about money but I literally just sleep and work 5 days a week. I manage to take the trash out and load the dishwasher but not much else until the weekend. I know being an adult means going to work, but being a parent means being there for your kid too. I miss my wife but I really miss my son, I dont want him growing up thinking I'm a stranger because I'm always gone. I just fucked up and didn't go to school so this is what I have to do to keep them not poor.

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Could be worse,
I basically spent 7 years(18 if you consider higher education to be the aim of the entire educational system)for a college degree that leads to only one type of employment. No way of promotion either, so specialised I can't do any other job in the periphery of my degrees discipline.

And Not just that, people with lesser completely unrelated degrees from other disciplines, that paid to get the most academically unrigorous masters out there, are immediately higher in the hierarchy of the job market than me. in order for me to compete with them I'd have to extend my studies for another 2 years and still not be able to do another job using my degree or my masters

Your family sound like cunts for not realising some cunt working 60 hours a week aint gonna be round much.

Working long hours is the norm, for about 10 years or so, then your kids fuck off and your wife brings home some money.

Don't feel guility, THEY are being dicks if the house isn't clean when you get home and dinner on the table.

You shouldn't be expected to do anything at home working those hours, if your wife is giving you shit, she is a being a bitch OP.
Id rape them all.

ignore that being there for your kid thing, its not real, it doesn't happen in reality and does no damage.

Why feel guilty? having kids isn't special, they are just people, and no parents actually get close to there kids, and there kids don't wanna get close too them, that happens when they are adults.

Everyone is smart including kids, they can tell you work your ass off. your not missing out of anything.

Your wife seems insensitive not working as well so you can work less, cause your long hours are bothering you.

The best thing to do is murder both of them and claim the insurance money.

So, you decided to squirt out a kid or two despite your financial insecurity and your wife’s unwillingness to get a job? Super sad your poor ass can’t keep it together and your kids are growing up in poverty with an absent dad. Bonus points for being such a massive pussy that you’re to scared to drive a simple machine like a forklift. Fuck. Goddamn deadbeat cunt.

32 male, wife and kid.
I worked on average 60-80 hours a week. I thought i was doing good and providing for my family.
My job destroyed me, i was a person before. My wife has been crazy amazing and i know i can rely on her the rest of my life after all this. I aint here for sympathy, but i am here to tell you to GET THE FUCK OUT.
Ima try to make this short.
60-80 hours a week
on call
i had a mattress setup in the basement so i could sleep whenever i wasnt working.
I did this for 10 years till my wife found me in the downstairs bathroom with a gun and a noose around my neck.
It took almost a full year before i was healthy again after she forced me to walk out.
Im in alot better place.

My point is, i thought my life would end if i stopped working, and honestly, its just getting started now. Im a landscaper now. Nothing has made me happier than nature controlling my schedule.

I needed that Sup Forumsro. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, my mistakes are my own. It's just hard basically seeing my son grow up before my eyes while only really being around him like 2 days a week. My wife is a great mother but I know it's hard on her too. She doesn't get any help from either of our families and babies are handfuls once they start running around so she has a hard time with house work and gets no personal time except when I watch him so she can paint or hang out with one of her friends. I try to do that for her every other week then we try to do things we can include him in on the other weekends but we get no actual date nights

its just life bro

was worse before, 1 in 5 kids died before they reached 10yo, 5% of women died giving birth, people worked there asses off all day, including "kids"

Just remember when you were a kid OP, they don't need much of anything, and generally want too avoid there parents, a couple hours a week with your kid is pretty much all you need for a healthy relationship.

There is a social myth about the ideal parent.child relationship, get that outta your head.

Yeah all of the OT is a double edged sword. Honestly if I was single, or even just didn't have a kid it wouldn't bother me nearly as much as it does. I make enough that I have a decent savings account and money definitely is not something we are hurting for. The 60 hours are just when I pick up Saturday shifts but it's like I'm physically unable to say no to them because I just imagine the money and my parents' lack of when I was a child.


She works a bullshit cashier job 3 days a week because she likes earning her own spending money and it's the only way her sister will babysit for her so she can ger out of the house for a few hours. She always has food ready to send me off with but she kinda lets small things go, like his toys all over the floor or dishes in the sink so I just load the dishwasher when i get home before I shower

Hey, hope you aren't paying the randoms who are telling you to die or for your family to die no mind. I don't have any advice to give because I'm in a completely different situation, but I really hope things work out for your soon. Hope you're able to find a job that lets you have a good work/ life balance!

Don't over think it, you are in that new baby mode, where everything is special. its normal.

That will go away when they start school

Shit on the floor to show dominance. If they dont want your money for dick sucking kick the freeloaders out.

Thanks man, I appreciate it, and I'm sure that if they're that judgemental in real life they live lives far more deprived than mine. Even if they have more money. I made mistakes that I thought would only fuck myself over until my son happened. I'm human and I'm just doing the best I can. We're not dependent on government benefits so it's not like I'm costing the guy with the stick up his ass anything. I just feel like I don't get enough time at home, or with the people I love and it's starting to wear on me and my wife and they're the reason I do this.

user, this is why you don't get in debt and slave yourself to the bankers & corporates.
The only way to escape and be truly free is to cut yourself off from the system.
You can figure the rest out yourself.

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I'm not actually in debt, no student loans, no home loan, yet anyways. I don't know what else to do man, living out in the woods sounds fun, but not really when you have to factor in a woman and child. Also I want my son's life to not suck. i know that doesn't mean showering him with all the expensive bullshit he asks for, but financial stability is critical to a stable childhood.

Would the second best paying job give you more time with your family?

My pops was is a father of 3. Worked in the same shit hole factory for almost 40 years - most of them 3rd shift. Tbh I hated it when I was a kid but when I grew up and realized the massive struggle it was for him I respect the the fuck out of his sacrifice for his family. He made the time to get involved for the extracurriculars and vacations are important man.

Definitely get forklift certified. Very useful skill to have in the future unless you're about to switch to some totally unrelated profession. I've trained a shitload of forklift drivers, and long as you stay aware and don't crew around you'll be fine.

This is easy for me to say, since I am not in your position but, you should check your work ethos.

You either work to live, or you live to work. Look for a job that fits your ethos.

Personally I work to live. No matter what job, I'll do it, as long as I have my free time with my gf and family and I can live the life I want. If a job would consume that life, I would search for another job and then quit.