Hello Anonymous. I've been stuck in this detectives office all day, looking for PI to help get me off for a crime I didn't commit, but you don't know the half of it.
The crime: bland food The victim: anons taste buds The sentence: Gordon Ramsey getting angry on twitter
But you and I, we're going to change all that. Welcome to Cooking with Dorothy. Join me or you are a louse, Anonymous.
Today we're making a quick meal, clean cut, not dirty at all. It only takes 15 minutes because that's all the time you've got in this fast paced world of ours.
She has no face left. She's begging to god to spare her family from the hands of the killer of her family. Meanwhile, Mandingo has a big BBC!
Alexander Cox
It's Dorothy tonight.
Throw some salt and pepper on the chicken, toss it a bit to get it nice and evenly coated. Put as much salt on as you like. We're not going to live long enough for it to come back to haunt us anyway.
This is the cringiest shit I've ever seen. This is about 6-7 levels below asmr waifufagging. It's worse than mlp.
Dylan Baker
Glad to hear it. Makes me proud I made you cringe so hard, you HAD to post about it.
Next we mix the other ingredients together into a sauce. Be sure to get all the lumps out. Don't contemplate how much it looks like blood. Don't. Stop it. Seriously.
I haven't been here for about 5 years but the cringe shit on Sup Forums used to actually be fun too, not just some fugly attention whore waving with her face covered. Also, you'd already be doxed and your tit pics would be passed around like the trashy dishrag you are.
Julian Davis
Hows Kansas this time of year
Josiah Flores
I've been doing this for 9 years. It's pretty clear you are new here. That's alright. We were all new once. I envy you.
Next we mix in the sauce. It looks like inkblots as I stir it, but the readings are all wrong, distorted shapes and phantasmal screams. I wish I could forget her.
2015. What a time. If only I had known then what I know now. If only.
Charles Howard
Finally, we cook the chicken to 165F to ensure it's good to eat. Life is precious in this world; don't waste the chickens life by refusing to cook adequately. Calories are movement, movement is survival.
Right back at you. I'll be streaming pokemon soon, if you want to join me.
Ryan Wright
I know Alice is a sweetheart, but damn. Dorothy just gives me the vibes of "I'll haunt your soul for an eternity user" and that just resonates with me.
I mean, who wouldn't want someone haunting your soul for the next eternity?
Angel Bennett
I could watch some Pokemon.
Grayson Parker
i just graduated college and got a job across the country. it's only been few months but i'm worried that i don't know how to make new friends. the people i hung out with back home I'd known from high school, or met at college, or indirectly from parties with the other friends. now i'm starting over and i don't know what the fuck people do here, or where to meet people other than who i work with.
Dorothy is less affectionate than Alice. Don't get thrown off by it.
Charles Cruz
Don't call me Shirley
Bentley Morales
why doesn't this one stutter
i can't cum to this
Luis Ramirez
Don't call me Nathan
Asher Martin
You got it, Door-thee.
Zachary Myers
Fucking newfag. Alice has been cooking for poor anons like me for years. Fuck off. It isn't all raids and pranks. Sometimes we like a nice thread with a home cooked meal. Go jump off a bridge, do a flip, belly flop, and gave a trap fish eat your left testicle.
Love you girl. Thanks for the grub.
Nathan Thomas
I don't have time for one. Not in this life.
Joseph Torres
dr just told me i have Complex regional pain syndrome AND a borken leg ~N
Saltimbocca is fucking spanish and it means "Jumps in your mouth" It's more or less good meat wrapped in ham. nah, i'm not cute. Can't make /ck/ threads if you're not cute, that's the rule.
John Anderson
this is Sup Forums
Chase Lopez
boos stoped working for me i dont think i can get drunk if i tryed
Fine fucker. Next time I'm making chicken saltimbocca you're invited.
Jordan Brown
do it loser
Daniel Cox
this called "normal life that everyone experiences". you're not describing anything out of the ordinary. as you get older your pool of close friends typically decreases significantly. you just get used to it or eventually you get so angry you go on a shooting spree and livestream it.
Adrian Anderson
or you are just sad and lonely lmao
Camden Long
>"normal life that everyone experiences" ya no i dont have that