Hello Anonymous

Chase Lee
Chase Lee

Hello Anonymous.
I've been stuck in this detectives office all day, looking for PI to help get me off for a crime I didn't commit, but you don't know the half of it.

The crime: bland food
The victim: anons taste buds
The sentence: Gordon Ramsey getting angry on twitter

But you and I, we're going to change all that.
Welcome to Cooking with Dorothy.
Join me or you are a louse, Anonymous.

Attached: 1-Welcome.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Other urls found in this thread:

twitter.com/scienceshitpost
twitch.tv/celtyplays
youtu.be/EBECALbKFiM

John Hernandez
John Hernandez

Today we're making a quick meal, clean cut, not dirty at all.
It only takes 15 minutes because that's all the time you've got in this fast paced world of ours.

And it's chicken. I love chicken.

Attached: 2-TodaysDish.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Levi Peterson
Levi Peterson

*eagerly waits for scraps*

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Luis Reed
Luis Reed

Might be a bit spicy for a dog, but that's life, right?
You can't always get what you want.

Kayden Jones
Kayden Jones

Here's what you'll need. It's straight forward enough. Clean and easy. If only more things in life were the same way.

Attached: 3-Ingredients.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Nathan Price
Nathan Price

First step, cube the chicken.

Cut into the flesh with reverence for the beast that gave it; the next dead body might be your own in this town.

Attached: 4-CubeChicken.mkv.webm (1.95 MB, 1280x720)

Eli Rodriguez
Eli Rodriguez

I'm really digging this noir aesthetic

William James
William James

I'm glad to hear it. At least someone is.

Next we need a little olive oil.
Just enough to give it some flavor and line the pan, so it doesn't stain like the wet work has stained your soul.

Attached: 5-OliveOil.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Carter Evans
Carter Evans

Hey, Alice. I love you.

Attached: 1.png (115 KB, 960x560)

Jaxon Jackson
Jaxon Jackson

She has no face left. She's begging to god to spare her family from the hands of the killer of her family. Meanwhile, Mandingo has a big BBC!

Alexander Cox
Alexander Cox

It's Dorothy tonight.

Throw some salt and pepper on the chicken, toss it a bit to get it nice and evenly coated.
Put as much salt on as you like.
We're not going to live long enough for it to come back to haunt us anyway.

Attached: 6-SeasonChicken.mkv.webm (1.91 MB, 1280x720)

Cooper Roberts
Cooper Roberts

This is the cringiest shit I've ever seen. This is about 6-7 levels below asmr waifufagging. It's worse than mlp.

Dylan Baker
Dylan Baker

Glad to hear it. Makes me proud I made you cringe so hard, you HAD to post about it.

Next we mix the other ingredients together into a sauce.
Be sure to get all the lumps out.
Don't contemplate how much it looks like blood.
Don't.
Stop it.
Seriously.

Attached: 7-MixSauce.mkv.webm (1.91 MB, 1280x720)

Oliver Foster
Oliver Foster

I was afraid I missed you.

Josiah Butler
Josiah Butler

what

David Gonzalez
David Gonzalez

Who the fuck needs directions to sprinkle honey and garlic on chicken?

Mason Martin
Mason Martin

Anonymous. You'd be surprised at what they need to be told to do.

Luke Howard
Luke Howard

You'd be surprised, friend.
You'd be surprised at what Anonymous is incapable of.
I sure was, long ago.

Next, we brown the chicken. Carefully cook it on a stove top until it is brown.
Don't leave the gas on.

Attached: 8-BrownChicken.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Justin Cox
Justin Cox

What's your favorite noir film?

Oliver Parker
Oliver Parker

Big O.

Jonathan Butler
Jonathan Butler

Cute pointing.

Kevin Harris
Kevin Harris

I haven't been here for about 5 years but the cringe shit on Sup Forums used to actually be fun too, not just some fugly attention whore waving with her face covered. Also, you'd already be doxed and your tit pics would be passed around like the trashy dishrag you are.

Julian Davis
Julian Davis

Hows Kansas this time of year

Josiah Flores
Josiah Flores

I've been doing this for 9 years. It's pretty clear you are new here. That's alright. We were all new once. I envy you.

Next we mix in the sauce.
It looks like inkblots as I stir it, but the readings are all wrong, distorted shapes and phantasmal screams.
I wish I could forget her.

Attached: 9-MixInSauce.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Julian Smith
Julian Smith

New faggot spotted

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Jonathan Gonzalez
Jonathan Gonzalez

2015. What a time. If only I had known then what I know now. If only.

Charles Howard
Charles Howard

Finally, we cook the chicken to 165F to ensure it's good to eat.
Life is precious in this world; don't waste the chickens life by refusing to cook adequately. Calories are movement, movement is survival.

Attached: 10-CookChicken.mkv.webm (1.89 MB, 1280x720)

Ryan Sullivan
Ryan Sullivan

Alright. It's done.
Success is fleeting, but I don't mind it one bit.

Attached: 11-ItsDone.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Mason Thomas
Mason Thomas

Life is precious in this world

Nah. There's a lot of it, actually. It's not a precious resource.

Ayden Fisher
Ayden Fisher

not even close to true

Henry Sanders
Henry Sanders

thanks for the recipe, alice!

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Nicholas Fisher
Nicholas Fisher

Pepsi not coke this time?

Benjamin Hill
Benjamin Hill

It's me, Ted Bear!

Food is carbohydrates! Carbohydrates means energy, energy means movement, and movement means survival!

Sorry, I had to, your sentence reminded me of that old Cyanide and Happiness short.

Thanks for the recipe!

Luke Foster
Luke Foster

Lookin' good.

Juan Jackson
Juan Jackson

Of course.

Dorothy.

I'm glad you got the reference.
Just for that, you can see the meal first.

Attached: 12-PresentDish.mkv.webm (1.91 MB, 1280x720)

Wyatt Baker
Wyatt Baker

Glad to hear it.

Attached: 13-Outro.mkv.webm (1.9 MB, 1280x720)

Adrian Butler
Adrian Butler

See ya next time, Big D.

Benjamin Phillips
Benjamin Phillips

Right back at you. I'll be streaming pokemon soon, if you want to join me.

Ryan Wright
Ryan Wright

I know Alice is a sweetheart, but damn. Dorothy just gives me the vibes of "I'll haunt your soul for an eternity user" and that just resonates with me.

I mean, who wouldn't want someone haunting your soul for the next eternity?

Angel Bennett
Angel Bennett

I could watch some Pokemon.

Grayson Parker
Grayson Parker

i just graduated college and got a job across the country. it's only been few months but i'm worried that i don't know how to make new friends.
the people i hung out with back home I'd known from high school, or met at college, or indirectly from parties with the other friends.
now i'm starting over and i don't know what the fuck people do here, or where to meet people other than who i work with.

Attached: 1559915049041.jpg (76 KB, 750x638)

Owen Gutierrez
Owen Gutierrez

twitter.com/scienceshitpost

Sebastian Flores
Sebastian Flores

Glad to hear it.

I see. That sounds rough.

You are a louse, Anonymous.

Dylan Cruz
Dylan Cruz

I'm sorry. :/ Can you forgive me?

Josiah Murphy
Josiah Murphy

Nothing to forgive.

Angel Bailey
Angel Bailey

Dorothy is less affectionate than Alice. Don't get thrown off by it.

Charles Cruz
Charles Cruz

Don't call me Shirley

Bentley Morales
Bentley Morales

why doesn't this one stutter

i can't cum to this

Luis Ramirez
Luis Ramirez

Don't call me Nathan

Asher Martin
Asher Martin

You got it, Door-thee.

Zachary Myers
Zachary Myers

Fucking newfag. Alice has been cooking for poor anons like me for years. Fuck off. It isn't all raids and pranks. Sometimes we like a nice thread with a home cooked meal. Go jump off a bridge, do a flip, belly flop, and gave a trap fish eat your left testicle.

Love you girl. Thanks for the grub.

Nathan Thomas
Nathan Thomas

I don't have time for one. Not in this life.

Joseph Torres
Joseph Torres

dr just told me i have Complex regional pain syndrome AND a borken leg
~N

Dylan Wright
Dylan Wright

Sounds awful. But you'll get through this.

I'll be playing Pokemon here, if you want to join
twitch.tv/celtyplays

If not, have the best night you can, Anonymous.

Sebastian Cox
Sebastian Cox

my internet it too shity for twitch
~N

Isaac Nelson
Isaac Nelson

i may be up to a year before i can walk agin

Attached: n1.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Wyatt Adams
Wyatt Adams

May I see a picture of your dog, please?

Attached: Ikarous.png (810 KB, 593x815)

Luke Jones
Luke Jones

i heard you were diagnosed with ligma recently

Alexander Phillips
Alexander Phillips

that is a pre existing condition

Attached: n2.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Gavin Brooks
Gavin Brooks

So you can fantasize about killing it?

Jacob Taylor
Jacob Taylor

why would anyone do that, wth

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Isaac Wood
Isaac Wood

nano is cute!

Attached: 327bc57b2b82f54eff3bafec0354eb60b5b8092f-hq.jpg (70 KB, 845x945)

Wyatt Nelson
Wyatt Nelson

you would because you derive sexual pleasure from harming animals now get the fuck out of alices thread

John Turner
John Turner

i want to pet the pupe "who is a good dogo"

Attached: n4.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Isaiah Mitchell
Isaiah Mitchell

more tits

Liam Cruz
Liam Cruz

who is nano da?

this isn't even her thread

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Wyatt Richardson
Wyatt Richardson

go away

Brandon Williams
Brandon Williams

yes it is idiot

Blake Gomez
Blake Gomez

I believe her dog was called something to begin with N
idk
is cute anyway

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Aaron Perez
Aaron Perez

but she doesn't have a twitch link...

ah okay do you have a pic?

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Gabriel Allen
Gabriel Allen

yes that is alices twitch

Joshua Lee
Joshua Lee

ARE YOU CALLING ME A DOG~
im ok with that

Attached: n5.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Wyatt Smith
Wyatt Smith

i wish i had a short lispy asian gf like alice

even though she smells a little funny and her parents are mean i'd still treat her nicely.

Thomas Long
Thomas Long

I dont save pics of peoples dogs frien
plus uh
why are you so keen on seeing her dog anyway
is this the white women meme but actual
bark for me~

Attached: 119364684-352-k564917.jpg (36 KB, 352x550)

Matthew Scott
Matthew Scott

puella puella puella puella puella puella puella puella puella puella puella

am i a good boy?

Attached: n6.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Jayden Fisher
Jayden Fisher

You fucks need to learn how to make chicken saltimbocca. It's fucking delicious you don't even know

Tyler Howard
Tyler Howard

i Rove u, i know i just met you but i Rove u

Attached: n7.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Lincoln Parker
Lincoln Parker

yes
good dog, nya~
wtf is a saltimbocca

Attached: f46b2eb4aa5629d8f5ada895281acb67396b6e91-hq.jpg (61 KB, 637x825)

Lucas Rodriguez
Lucas Rodriguez

so make your own cooking thread and teach anonymous

Jacob Edwards
Jacob Edwards

alice
be doxed
ask me how i know just how fucking new you are faggot

Aiden Bailey
Aiden Bailey

only time alice gets doxxed is when she doxxes herself

Camden Nelson
Camden Nelson

you seem nice
or drunk

Attached: mami-tomoe-puella-magi-madoka-magica-39727-2560x1600.jpg (517 KB, 2560x1600)

Kevin Wright
Kevin Wright

Saltimbocca is fucking spanish and it means "Jumps in your mouth" It's more or less good meat wrapped in ham.
nah, i'm not cute. Can't make /ck/ threads if you're not cute, that's the rule.

John Anderson
John Anderson

this is Sup Forums

Chase Lopez
Chase Lopez

boos stoped working for me
i dont think i can get drunk if i tryed

Attached: n8.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Tyler Fisher
Tyler Fisher

your typing seems a lil off friem

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Brody Ortiz
Brody Ortiz

The rule still stands.

Hunter Bennett
Hunter Bennett

no it doesnt
everything belongs on Sup Forums

Robert Stewart
Robert Stewart

Wait no it's italian, sorry.

Jackson Mitchell
Jackson Mitchell

idiot. that is a man.

Isaiah Bennett
Isaiah Bennett

thats a woman

Christopher Bennett
Christopher Bennett

very clearly not

Luke Wilson
Luke Wilson

i have been strugleing with dislesua all my life
dislesia
dalysexia
dislexia
disable
dialysis
dyslexia there it is

Attached: n9.jpg (2 KB, 119x117)

Jack Cook
Jack Cook

Fine fucker. Next time I'm making chicken saltimbocca you're invited.

Jordan Brown
Jordan Brown

do it loser

Daniel Cox
Daniel Cox

this called "normal life that everyone experiences". you're not describing anything out of the ordinary. as you get older your pool of close friends typically decreases significantly. you just get used to it or eventually you get so angry you go on a shooting spree and livestream it.

Adrian Anderson
Adrian Anderson

or you are just sad and lonely lmao

Camden Long
Camden Long

"normal life that everyone experiences"
ya no i dont have that

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Chase Nelson
Chase Nelson

sure you do
dont you remember penis inspection day

Adrian Gomez
Adrian Gomez

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William Foster
William Foster

no saging

Thomas Thomas
Thomas Thomas

who da fuk

Luke Roberts
Luke Roberts

go away

Joseph Rodriguez
Joseph Rodriguez

Attached: goofy.jpg (91 KB, 800x450)

Dylan White
Dylan White

youtu.be/EBECALbKFiM

Lucas Walker
Lucas Walker

no. sage.

Bentley Murphy
Bentley Murphy

the fuck

Mason Morris
Mason Morris

I feel like driving fast on an icy road.

Attached: norway.jpg (962 KB, 2624x3221)

Caleb Perez
Caleb Perez

y

Julian Cruz
Julian Cruz

fuck tard has been posting this in all the other threds

Ian Flores
Ian Flores

i think this thred is kill
thanks alice's sister Dorothy.

Attached: n16.jpg (4 KB, 119x117)

Wyatt Jones
Wyatt Jones

No worries.

Sebastian Reyes
Sebastian Reyes

We love you Dorothy, take care and dont fall for the ol' good cop bad cop.

Hunter Gray
Hunter Gray

thanks