Help Sup Forums I just jerked off into a condom and flushed it down the toilet and now my toilet keeps making sound and...

Help Sup Forums I just jerked off into a condom and flushed it down the toilet and now my toilet keeps making sound and it’s right next to my parents room and I don’t want them to wake up how do I fix it

Pic unrelated

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How the fuck does that happen? A toilet is literally built to handle monster shits. A magnum condom with the coom of a lifetime wouldn't affect it.

let me guess, upstairs toilet? Your probably fucked and will have to call a plumber but you can try the plunger.

Might be caught on something, just put a wad of TP in there, but not quite enough to get it to overflow, and flush it. Should catch the condom

You gotta jump in that shit, man. You have to commit, don't be a bitch.

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Go home kid

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Try this first
Then try the plunger

what kind of noise, like it isn't refilling? just take off the cover to the tank, grab a bowl and manually refill it. if they hear you pouring water just pretend you're throwing up and say you ate something bad

Why do you live with your parents?

Just drink all the water till it floats back to you

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My buddy had this happen years ago, idk if it was overtime or just one but it royally fucked shit up and they eventually had to call a plumber. Good luck

MODS UNDERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

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Good job you got the toilet pregnant. You're fucked for the next 18 years bro

Dont worry man im on it

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Stick your arm down the toilet and try and grab it

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The toilet won’t flush at all, I tried plunging it but it’s still making the noise everytime I turn the water on. I’m freaking out that my parents are gonna kick me out cause I fucked our plumbing by jerking off in a condom. Also I’m 21

Man you suck at life

Keep trying to flush it. Over and over. I'm a plumber and this is one thing you can do to fix stuff like this. Eventually it'll work if you just keep flushing.

Not today's toilet. The old school 5 gallon flushers would destroy what ever you put in there. Today, we got these water saver modes that barely do jack shit, you get like one gallon per flush.
.t plumber faggot

OP - try flushing more condoms. It might sound retarded but it'll attach to the others and form a chain that you can just pull the whole thing out.

Dump a bottle of hot sauce in the bowl and flush it. It'll break down the condom and clear the blockage. You're welcome

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you are going to have to tell them something and get a plumber. Better start thinking of something now. You have all night. Also, WTF as you still doing lining at home? I am going to kick my kids out as soon as they turn 18.

Okay, I’m retarded but I would like to look at my parents in the eye after this is over so what can I tell them if the plumber pulls out a condom when I am the only one home and I haven’t had a gf in 2 years.

Boil a ton of water and pour it in. Hot water dissolves latex easily

Better to make up a story that your dad can at least be proud of. Tell him you snuck a bitch over and plowed down, and flushed the condom like the dumbfuck you are.

I'm a plumber, a job like this would easily cost $500+. Unless you've got that much laying around, you should try the boiling water suggestion. Fill it to the top of the bowl, and flush. Keep flushing and it will dissolve the condom.

make up something that makes you sounds stupid instead of perverted, like I was cleaning out my wallent and found a old condom that was expired. I knew I couldn't flush it down the toilet in the package but I thought I could flush it. I didn't want you to find it and think anything crazy. Why didn't I just throw it away later? Hhaha guess I wasn't thinking.

Tell them you were worried that if you didn't use a condom the cucumber might break

Or lie and deny and pin it on your dad and then all the explaining lies between him and your mom. Then they divorce and you get to lol

>Fill it to the top of the bowl, and flush.
Confirmed for not a plumber


Take a big old dump in there. This will cause horror and confusion for your parents and the plumber. Alternatively, deny everything in the hope that your father gets the blame. Good luck kid.

The condom has my CUM in it. They're going to know that's bullshit

They'd be retarded to think you weren't touching your dick at that age.. maybe just once in your life; man the fuck up

You don't know my parents, dude. They're crazy strict southern Baptists. I'll be kicked out if they know I jerked off.

Will there’s still be cum in it when it gets digged out

the water should of washed it all out

Deny all day blame dad


They will tell your parents exactly what they find in the toilet after they dig it out.

Do not do this.

my mom always used to tell me to never flush condoms and now I know why. sucks to be you op but what else is new

Don’t flush condoms you retard. Throw them away in the trash like a normal human being.

My dad is 78.

this fuckin thread lmao

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Get the plumber to tell them some shit like it was backfire from the sewers or some shit.. can't see you failing to flush with boiling water though

OP here - I fucked up. I believed one of you in this thread like a retard, and tried to flush more condoms to create a chain. The toilets overflowing what do I do

Obviously the toilet is pregnant

Plumber here and this

Theres so much water on the floor

Maybe tell them you got laid, that might give them a glimmer of hope that you're on the path to moving out and not being such a loser.

Although you'd probably just get in more trouble for lying.

The solution is obvious. Talk to the plumber in private when your parents are in the other room. Tell him what happened and then bribe his as to not say anything to your parents.

Fuck how do I turn the water off its all over the floor like ankle deep

turn the water off. The knob is behind the toilet.

Its backing up shit water and tp this is so gross

Ok I'll look for it

In that case, getting kicked out will be the best thing for you. Hit the road and get some life experience you frail faggot.

I found the knob and turned but its not working the water is still coming I tried flushing again but it made it worse

I put like 10 condoms in there because someone said it would make a chain

What do i do

RP'er hijacking the thread.
Post pics or fuck off.

why did you have a dozen condoms on hand

guys i think op might be a faggot

Because I always jerk off into them retard I don't want to use socks or tissues

I don’t know how toilets work, but if you’ve flushed condoms down the toilet in the past but nothings happened. But when it fucks up and gets stuck when you pull it out would it just be the one condom or all the ones you’ve flushed in the past?

wayyyy too obvious/10

Ok fine I made the whole thing up

You know the rules, pics or it didn't happen

Just got back to this thread and no idea wtf is going on with this RPer, but I woke up my parents and they're really pissed at me so I have to pay for the plumber they're calling tomorrow. I told them that I accidentally dropped it into the toilet from my wallet. But i dont think they bought it. Problems solved, though. But it's gonna cost a bunch and I'm a NEET.

Thanks for all the advice, Sup Forums

Of course they didn't fucking buy it that excuse is weak as fuck. They are right this very minute disappointed and discussing what to do about their failure of a son.

And you're welcome.

I couldn't think of anything else in the heat of the moment. They don't know it was a used condom I told them it was just one I keep in my wallet. Praying the plumber doesn't go into detail.

Wish me luck, Sup Forumsros

weather it was real or fake your thread entertained me. good luck Sup Forumsro.

It's whether.
weather = shit the sky does.
whether = the word you meant.

Lift the thing the chain is connected to/should be connected to
>your problem is a 4 second fix
>learn how to use the internet nigger

Thank you. I knew that wasn't right but I'm stoned and I couldn't figure out how to get Alexa to give me the proper spelling.

>I couldn't figure out how to get Alexa to give me the proper spelling.
Holy shit, this is the world we live in.

I have Alexa connected to every thing in my house. I love it. I use her to turn off and on every light in my house, control the thermostat, control my garage door, some plugs, etc. I love her.

I once had a woman I was dating tell me about a previous date that turned her off because she went to his place and he had Alexa dim the lights. She found it the least masculine thing ever that this soft-palmed nerdy manchild was speaking to a gadget to control his lights for him. I actually met her while working as her carpenter. She later confessed to me watching my muscles as I worked. She came all over my cock.

Things that are bullshit for 500

Nope, 100% true.
Tip: As it turns out, women like men.

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Jesus they had you late in life assuming moms old too. Explains your retardation

Fucking betas.
One, you're parents want you to discreetly get hit by a car so you're hospitalized for a few weeks and they get rid of you for awhile.
Two, why are you so embarrassed that you jizzed a condom? That's what they are for, your mom doesn't want your nasty shit all over her towels. If they aren't grateful that didn't repaint the walls, wait till they leave. Get naked, put every towel in the house in the living room, cover yourself in butter and roll around till you ejaculate in her favorite facecloth. Don't clean up.

>I actually met her while working as her carpenter. She later confessed to me watching my muscles as I worked.

This guy is a biblefag who thinks jesus was actually stacked instead of just being a malnourished little jewish man-child.

In my experience, carpenters are fat or skinny. I've never seen a ripped carpenter.
Hell, there's a guy that builds boats and he is obese.

I did not say I am ripped and I wouldn't make that claim now. But strong rough hands, visible muscle definition, and practical know-how all get the pussy juices flowing. Specifically, she told me she liked my calves.

I see a lot of fat carpenters too. They're always lazy pieces of shit.

>They're always lazy pieces of shit.

Because it's easy as fuck. Unless you tryhard at it.

You should learn how to cook if you don't already know. It's easier than carpentry tbh.

Cat in the wall, eh? Now you're speaking my language!

Confirmed for butthurt Alexa-speaking manchild.

I do know how to cook too. That impresses a woman more on the 3rd date. Man things first, then cooking.

Look, they're not gonna call the police over this, so unless you have a science lab in your basement I wouldn't worry about that

i know how toilets work and that is impossible.

>Man things first, then cooking.

Learn more about food. They are drugs. The gut has more neurons than the brain, it is also responsible for most of the "feel good" chemicals and hormones.
Chocolate works best if you can make it even half good. Fresh hot chocolate cake with ice cream and molten chocolate sauce is easy as fuck, costs fractions of the price of bought stuff too if that's a problem.
>Ice cream = euphoria
>Sugar = energy
>Chocolate = happy
>Providing food = oxytocin
Kitchens also do stuff psychologically to people.

There is nothing unmanly about cooking.

>all that shit you said
Learn more about women. I've fucked a couple hundred and I know what it takes to get them interested.

Eh, you're going for a particular type.
Everyone loves food. Everyone needs food too.