Becomes king

>becomes king
>starts singing
"somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me.."
What the fuck Jackson?! Shit movie desu

...

>whenever the [insert LoTR reference here] join him

pure kino tbqhwyf

I wanna meme but I haven't seen these movies since they came out in theater and I can't say I really remember anything about them besides like the ring and hobbits and shit.

>not watching them all annually without fail

The FUCK are you doing user?

OP my man, this was simply epic! xD

they're kinda boring and long to do that. I have no desire to watch them again

I didn't really like them when I was 14 what would have changed?

>inb4 some memes and possibly a reaction image

You are truly my greatest ally

Probably nothing. If you didn't enjoy them when you were 14 you probably won't enjoy them more now.

>I didn't like them when I was 14

>inb4 some memes and possibly a reaction image
>replies with a meme and a reaction image
>I was just being ironic xD
You should have thrown in some ad hominems and called me le rebbit

>Having negotiations with a messenger of Sauron
>Suddenly starts screeching autistically and beheads him

Wtf? why isn't he in prison for war crimes???

>this thread

>be king of the country, the peak of your kin, your word is literally law
>"why isn't he in jail?"

Aragorn could literally randomly murder people and get in no trouble at all.

>become king
>no one takes you seriously because you have no eyebrows

Back to plebbit you sack of shit go watch some capeshit

Why is he king though? who voted for him? the people of Gondor don't even know him not to mention what his tax policies are. Sounds like tyranny to me.

Everyone has their own opinions user!
Nothing wrong with being tasteless.

He is king by right. You don't get voted into it, you're born into it. His rule is literally unquestioned and his word is law.

It isn't LIKE a tyranny, it IS a tyranny.

He could drive Gondor so hard into the ground they'd be begging for Sauron's rule, and he'd still be king unquestionably.

>Somebody once told me the films were kinda boring but he aint the sharpest tool in the shed

Wow that sounds fucked up. What was Tolkien thinking.

...

Nice

He would have voted Trump.

>look at leaders in fantasy and history
>intelligent men with speeches that stoke a fire in your heart
>look at leaders today
>fucking retards

I know man fuck Drump and fuck white people

I wonder how accurate our history is of those leaders. I don't doubt that they were good leaders but I can imagine the people writing down what happened exaggerated quite a lot.

>starts singing
>doesn't immediately set up a tax policy
uh...wtf? ugh....sweetie that's so unrealistic

>speeches that stoke a fire in your heart

That's a nice way of saying "manipulating you to commit suicide"

Stay cuck

ikr s m h f a m d e s u

There are things worth fighting and dying for friend. Israel isn't one of them.

You shut the the fuck up reeee we need your help

>There are things worth fighting and dying for friend

Then why would you need big charismatic speeches? you'd already have fire in your heart.

You're just a cuck who likes being told what to do by alpha guys.

You sound very immature. I never said those speeches were calls to war either.

SOME

>not watching them weekly

And Brexit too

Only fellowship is good

>This garbage passes for CGI

Wtf Jackson?

>not using ~12 hours of every day to watch the LotR extended trilogy

>he doesn't watch the entire trilogy every day

>360vsPs3comparison

>y-you must like capeshit
>not my very very mature fantasy escapism

Nah, reddit would be not liking LotR but pretending you do

yeah I know that guy was a total pleb, haha what a loser
*ties greasy hair into ponytail*
anyhow my take on the rightful king of middle earth is...

/r/movies voted 2 of the LotR movies into their top 10.

Tolkien was, unquestionably, a hack. I think George R. R. Martin, a genius in his own right, said it best:

"Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?"

Tolkien's prose was drivel. His characters were archetypes with no depth at all. He had the most unnuanced, basic bitch philosophy of all time: hurr the world is good vs evil and all the good guys are perfect and selfless and all the bad guys were black clothing. The plot itself was just rehashed Biblical shit about divine goodness and demonic evil sprinkled with some slave morality shit about the underdog small guy winning in the end.

All of this, of course, sounds good to the autistics that browse here, since they would prefer to be engrossed in a childish world of delusions and fantasies since they are utter failures in reality.

>b-but he made languages for them, he wuz smart n shit!

Again, like I said, this is appealing to sperglords, since they believe that adding hollow depth to something can make up for shitty premises, prose and philosophy.

The movies were shit in their own right, but I don't blame Jackson much for this- I'd say he perfectly encapsulated and exposed Tolkien's shitgibbonry.

Where's this copypasta from?

It's not copypasta, I wrote it.

and thus a new Tolkein pasta was born

>"No!"

Everything I wrote was truthful and serious, faggot. Instead of memeing about pasta try and refute it.

"No!"

>think to rewatch lotr
>fellowship is cozy and fun
>rotk is 4 hours of people walking and boring battles

I know this is bait but Tolkien has literally done exactly this over the course of his books. Tolkien started out with the intention of making his books black and white but GRR Martin and his fans had/have such a circlejerk about of gritty and realistic his series is, which is was at least somewhat at first, when as of current it's as if not more black and white and cookie cutter as Tolkien's work. Problem is George is a shit writer and lacks the imagination and prose that Tolkien did to actually make that shit interesting.

>I know this is bait but Tolkien has literally done exactly this over the course of his books

GRR Martin I mean

>I'm a massive pussy who can't comprehend the idea of a binding code of ethics so I'll just project that on all my characters so they are as unlikable and morally ambiguous as I am
>Even though some of the greatest tales and legends ever told in human history were simple battles of good vs evil, I'm to intelligent for such simple storytelling
>I want to remove every fantastic element of the fantasy genre so that instead of sounding like wonderful tales of heroes and glory, they sound like advanced placement high school history textbooks written by a guy on shrooms
>Lol who the fuck cares about having a moral to your story and leaving behind a positive mark on those who enjoy then? I'm just gonna write about people fucking or shitting in a field because that's "deep" and "mature"

>You have my tax!

he is the last heir of the last king of gondor. and he has the sword and is literally crowned by a god. there are no contenders.

Yeah... everything changes after reading Nietzsche right? But remember where you are, you're cursing in church right now.

IN-COME TAXES! FILE EM, DEDUCT EM, PAY EM TO THE JEWS!

This thread needs more taxposting

> hurr the world is good vs evil and all the good guys are perfect and selfless and all the bad guys were black clothing.

Was Gollum good or evil? What about Boromir and Denethor?

this is remarkably good.

>becomes king
>starts singing
"aaaaaaall my taxes lives in Texas"
What the fuck Jackson?! Doesnt even make sense.

True to the books though, Tolkien was obsessed with detailing taxation in Middle Earth.

What were they holding onto, Sam?

That there are some deductibles in this world, Mr. Frodo, and they're worth filing for.

>becomes king
>starts singing
"MY EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY OF THE TRAMPLING AT MOUNT DOOM
WE WASHED OURSELVES IN HARAD BLOOD AND ALL THE EASTNIGS TOO"

>become king
>all rich elves leave
>dwarfs are busy rebuilding Moria and killing off all the orcs left, this could take centuries
>ents do not pay taxes
>whats left of humanity is piss poor and crippled from the war

YOU'RE TRIGGERING ME user

You're mixing fantasy and history. Historically 90% of leaders were no different that what we have today.

So what was his tax policy?
Could the riders of Rohan deduct the upkeep of their horses if they owned them? What about the value added tax? How high was it? Did something of it went back into preventing pipeweed addiction?

>what is feudalism

Why do you think he immediately started singing in elvish, dude? He knew which palms to grease.

>becomes king
>"I'm going for the flat tax"
Well that was a bit anticlimactic

WE'RE TAKING DOWN THE ORC MACHINE NAZGUL BY NAZGUL BY NAZGUL
THE WHITE TREE MARCHES ON

>Comparing kings and emperors who were raised from birth that they were divinely ordained by God to rule, to lead the nation in war, and partake in the liberal and martial arts to spineless psycophants who are corrupt and detest the people they '""""""represent""""""

Fag

kek

I have been waiting to use this a long time

>dude I've been fed false patriotism lmao
Most of those kings and emperors were just as degenerate as the rulers of today, nationalism and worshiping the leader are two different things that you seem to mix up.

>Some faggot drops his jewelery in hill
Wow, what a great way to waste 9 hours of my life

How did Gondolin sustain itself? They were isolated and had no commerce with any other kingdom.