>Sit in local Roman pizzeria, just enjoying an excellent pizza with some acqua frizzante
>My girlfriend and I love to come here because tourists don't know it
>No such luck today
>Two Burgers come waggling in, one lard packed ox girl and one stick figure, both obviously the liberuls Sup Forums warned me about. Tacky tattoos, tunnel earrings, pseudo-oriental robes and a terrifying accent
>They plop a book called "Europe on a shoestring" on the table
>They look like a comedy duo but what followed wasn't funny in any sense of the word
>They immediately start talking in English, poor waitress does her best to understand it but their shrieking voices and horrible accent throw her off her game
>They also have this cringe inducing sound in their voice, it's hard to describe. It's a sort of oscillating tone, the best way to describe it would be an anthropomorphic cat purring whilst being anally raped
>The rape however, hadn't even begun
>After they superfluously asked for bread, they also asked for plates, which led to some confusion, but the waitress reluctantly complied
>"Yeahhh could I hev, liiiiike, the waifai pehswurd?
>Every civilised person is hereby warned: what followed can induce severe distress with non-barbarians
>The fat sow reached for the bottle of olive oil on the table
>What is she doing? She doesn't even have an appetiser yet, what is she going to put it on?
>No, no... no please
>She pours the oil onto her plate
>The other burger reaches for the bottle of oil and repeats this atrocious act with her own plate
>The sow reaches for the bottle of balsamico. Mamma mia, per favore... non...
>Keep in mind that they barely talk to each other, they're just staring blankly into their phones, when they reach for something, they just literally swipe their arms all across the table and grab it, revealing all kinds of stupid and ugly small tattoos that say "let it be" and stupid non-original stuff like that
Why are liberals so barbaric?
Other urls found in this thread:
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youtu.be
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>Anyways, the sow drenches the well-oiled plate in balsamico. A shallow plate, now filled to the rim with a hideous mixture of oil and balsamico. There's basically half a small botle of olive oil and a quarter small bottle of balsamico on the table, divided over two plates
>The thin one does the same
>Next, they grab already cut pieces of bread and tear them apart like neanderthals
>Well, here comes the part you might have anticipated by now: they drag the amorphous lumps of bread through the oil-balsamico mixture, absolutely drenching it
>They eat the bread
>The tablecloth by now looks like a linen representation of the Deep Sea Horizon disaster
>Once they finished the normal basket of bread, the appetisers arrived. They apparently ordered just a plate full of mozzarella
>They rip the mozzarella by hand and put lumps of it in their beaks, but not before dragging them through the vile concoction on their plates, which has now been enriched with soggy pieces and crumbs of bread and mozzarella fluid
>Finally one waiter can't take it anymore and takes the oil/balsamico plates away
>Their extra basket of bread arrivea
>They seem to be confused about what to do with bread when they haven't a trough of oil and vinegar to soak it in
>They haphazardly tear pieces off it, look at them and throw them back into fhe basked, seemingly bored
>They order a bottle of white house wine, just after ordering red tonnarelli
>I can barely hold my laughing when I see them pouring it
>They fill the glasses up to the rim like it's they're jews at a no refill soda with self service in a fast food restaurant
>Literally, one of them had to move her lips to the glass on the table in order to not spill it
>After they violated the wine, the thin one procures a bottle of water she brought with her from home (a 1l bottle costs €1 in the restaurant)
>I leave after finishing my coffee, just in time to see the pièce de résistance of utter barbarianism
>They both have their left arm on thr table, elbow and all, holding a smartphone. They never talk or look at each other, apart from a half-assed sentence now and then, seemingly not directed at anybody in particular. The other arm stands vertical on the elbow, pricking and twisting in the pasta, clawing together a bunch of it and shoving it in their beaks with half of it draped out.
This was one of the most shocking things I ever saw. To think these were the "cultured" liberals who went to Europe and will probably return lecturing everybody else about how the Europeans do things and how they themselves know just whag Europeans are like etc. etc.
I would bet for drinking an entire American oil plate that even Cletus from the bayou would have better table manners and taste than these monsters. To think they probably see themselves as experts on Europe and will tell others about how cultured they are, it makes me nauseous.
Also, stories about barbarians thread
This is why I pretend to not be American while abroad.
I tell people I'm Romanian, they hate them less than Americans.
Include me in screen cap
Bump for OP
Someone make a cap, I would but my index finger is broken
In Greece they pronounce souvlaki wrong.
>>They also have this cringe inducing sound in their voice, it's hard to describe. It's a sort of oscillating tone, the best way to describe it would be an anthropomorphic cat purring whilst being anally raped
Something like this pizza boy?youtube.com
It's a plague on society, I agree.
I feel you. American women tourists are the worst. I don't know how American men deal with them.
I love dipping my bread in a plate of O&V.
XD
Glad that makes you so butthurt OP.
And on that day, Jesus wept, for His sacrifices were not to be mutilated by fat Americans using etiquette straight out of Gaul.
>americans are fat
>italians are stuck up cunts
nothing surprising or new to see here.
sound like you got triggered you literal faggot.
It's not even Americans in general, it's a specific type of Americans. I've met a lot of very decent and civilised Americans, of whom I couldn't help but think how they were right wing/Republican types. (Not that I asked, but most of them were decently dressed and had decent haircuts, which I usually don't associate with leftists. It's those liberals. They walk around like they know and own the place, solidly convinced they know how things are here because Bernie Sandals told them Europeans are just like liberals. I think they visited one of those Olive Garden hell holes once and assumed that is Italian culture
#NotAllAmericans, but I agree the liberal ones are a scourge upon humanity
What is oil and vinegar there for then?
You should be revoked of your citizenship
I love nothing more than dipping my crusty bread into the remaining oil in a bowl of garlic prawns.
>Seeing people eat like pigs in a restaurant should not trigger you
>Caring about a minimal amount of civilisation equals 'being stuck up'
I wasn't so much triggered. I was shocked at first but it became so bad it was almost amusing to witness
From my experience, fat Americans are fucking animals, while normal sized Americans are very fine people.
Yeah Americans are fucking retards god damn
fuck off americuck, this country is shitty and filled to the brim with niggers, jews, and a degenerate "culture". I can't wait to leave soon.
probably to daintily put across your bread or lightly drizzle in a sophisticated manor, and pretend like all of europe isn't full of fucking losers.
faggot. If you're so superior show them that Americans are normal people
Are you not supposed to dip your bread in the olive oil? woops.
top fucking kek that whole passage.
>They fill the glasses up to the rim like it's they're jews at a no refill soda with self service in a fast food restaurant
...
tourists in general are shit, but I have no room for self-hating Americans. Tourism sucks because it people rush through an area and never really get to respect the where they are.
If you travel you should try to represent your people well. I imagine since liberals generally look down on their own people, they feel no need to give a good impression.
Don't know if this women are always liberal. Yesterday i just saw 2 american women wearing very large hats like they are some kind of movie stars. I think they believed this is some Paris fashion. American men never act like this.
Other than how they went about it, what's wrong with bread with vinegar and oil? What's the Italian bread etiquette?
north american women are legit full retard.
I asked that too. He isn't answering. I guess it's because they were just eating like a sloppy five year old.
Modern Day Americans on average are classless degenerate pieces of shit
This is what happens when you raise a generation on cultural marxism. But to be fair Euro got infected with this shit as well via american media and youngsters these days are as retarded as the ones in your story
Also I will tell you additionally: they all watch a show called "Anthony Bourdain: Eating Abroad" or something, where Anthony Bourdain goes around the world and eats things, and literally because of this show they feel like insiders and world travellers. I think because Bourdain goes to one obscure place per episode and makes it sound like he's an insider.
Actually, I notice among liberals (millennials in general? they all seem to be liberals) that they really like the Food Network and food shows, but hate cooking for themselves, and eat out all the time, sometimes never cooking a single meal. You would think it was bad on your wallet.
Us Aussies are no different, our liberal "cultured" woman are overweight horror shows who burp and fart in public, with those disgusting fucking nose rings that are always getting covered in snot, with tattoos that look like they where drawn on with crayon, with coloured hair and shaved sides .At my local cafe I saw one these barbarians dip her stubby little digits in the communal honey jar, lick her fingers, then went back for round two. I was speechless at the utter piggishness I just witnessed. You are right OP, even our bogans have better manners then these animals, they are a waste of white skin
Generally I don't bother going out of my way of saying where I'm from, people can guess I'm American (not native) by how I speak English (no accent).
Some people have downright shit attitudes to people they have preconceived notions about.
My father told me he once had an american over at his workplace. She was a big round blob of fat who basically refused to eat the food they were offering her (some really expensive steaks with sallade mix or something) and ONLY wanted Pizza. She refused to eat anythint else than Pizza the entire week. Resulted in her getting a bad image of the corporation and whatever the deal she was there for never going through.
>American tourists are obnoxious
>Italian natives are smug faggots
nothing new here, move on people.
There's a site called Buzzfeed, it consists of a bunch of lists of random things, like "5 ways you can put glitter in your vagina" or "20 times Chris Hemsworth was really cute". You would think this would get boring after a while, but no, American (and Canadian) women really love it, and spend all their free time there. It's like the lists are made of crack or black cock.
Anyway they spend so much time there that they start getting their news and world events information from Buzzfeed, and since these lists are churned out like 50 or 60 a day, they are all low quality drivel. So I bet those women saw some list like "10 hottest Paris fashions of summer 2016" and the writer of the list had just found 10 images of hats on Google Images.
And this is how American tourists happen.
I never see many Italians though, only some faggots who think they are because some ancestor many generations back were Italian.
Nice dubs, you didnt witness americans today, you witnessed liberals who hate this country as much as iran does. Better watch out too, cause those tourists might have liked that place too much and want to move there! seriously! my cousin moved to italy cause she went there once for a week and its "beautiful
In a more civilized era she would be tut tutted and shown the door, and maybe not let in again.
In a less civilized era she would be glassed and maybe burned at a stake as some kind of weird witch.
We're in the opposite of a sweet spot, like a bitter spot, not civil enough or savage enough to prevent these people from existing / indirectly backwashing our honey
Wait is this fkn real? Can they be that stupid?
I always say I'm Texan and that gets glowing responses
They learned how to Italian from the olive garden.
You really hit the nail on the head there. Here is the (you) that you've earned.
>dipping their bread on a plate full of olive oil
This sounds like some shit hipsters THINK that native Italians do. Probably saw it on a movie or read in a book somewhere. They probably thought they were fitting in too. It's not an American thing, at least not one that I'm familiar with.
When you make posts like this the KGB wins. Fuck off and never post again you literal cuckold.
Pretty much this
Were you trying to make us laugh or something, OP?
Italian/mexican here
You'd take me for a leftist for sure.
Everyone does.
They all think I'm some pothead/criminal or something
buzzfeed.com
Front page headlines:
"We Know What Sex Stuff You’re Into Based On How You Eat Kraft Dinner"
"A Truck Full Of Mayo And Salad Dressing Crashed And It’s As Disgusting As You Think"
"The Tenor Who Slipped “All Lives Matter” Into The Canadian National Anthem Is Very Sorry"
There's also a news section, literally, so it's very easy for these women to say "I read the news" and they mean they read the Buzzfeed News
I feel you bro. This board has been flooded with military and government officials who shame anybody that disagrees with Kikemericas degenerate culture.
Native Italians are actually extremely friendly and welcoming, very hospitable
>Except when you are a raging cunt
I agree 100pct. Some degree of adaptation may be necessary, but the utterly failed attempt of liberals to 'act European' (because of the bread disaster. I suspect they think this is authentically Italian)
>sophisticated manor
Fuck off, you illiterate leaf boy
No, you're not, it's supposed to accompany the first course. It's not meant as a stand alone dish. Still, some. light drizzling could be acceptable if it's your thing (though conservative Italians will frown upon it), but the two individuals I had the misfortune to see eating literally drenched it like a sponge
Grazie mille
True, it's mostly the women
It should accompany the main course(s) or maybe the appetiser. Tradition states one piece of bread must be kept to absorb the last bit of sauce when all pasta is eaten
This too. They act all epicurean but they know jack shit about real food. It's because of the entertainment media. About eating out, millenials are notoriously bad with money
That sounds horrible. I thought only the 'bogans' acted like that
Stfu you literal ape
Absolutely. I tried to make the distinction between Americans in general and liberals, as to not paint the US with one brush, or oil-vinegar soaked bread if you will
True, I see those ""Italian"" stuff everywhere. People ordering "latte" and getting a glass of milk, people ordering espresso and all that stuff. They call "normal" coffee "Americano"
Says the man boob lard leaf, with tim hortons every block.
It's all about the Zimmern
>you don't dip the bread into the olive oil
kek. I guess that's an American thing. Blame your diaspora for teaching it like that. That's what everyone I've met does. Can't remember if I did that when I went to Italy but if I had the oppurtunity I probably did.
>go into ristorante for dinner
>order pizza
>gf orders fish
>I want beer
>she wants red wine
>waiter tries to tell my gf to drink white wine
>see through his sceem
>wants to sell us his cheap house wine
>tell him to fuck off and give us what we ordered
>he goes away
>food arrives
>pizza is not cut
>whatever
>start slicing it up and eat the pieces by hand
>get deadly stares from the waiter
>piece has almost no bottom and isn't covered entirly with cheese
>cheap bastards
>waiter comes to collect the plates
>"would you like an expresso?"
>coffee is actually a good idea
>order cappuccino
>they drive us out of town with pitchforks and torches
>mfw
Holy fuck that's accurate for a comedy sketch.
I have to agree, every bodega or restaurant owner was helluva friendly on Bassano Del Grappa. Memes apart, I can't complain at all.
Amo l'Italia , sto solo scherzando
But the expensive italian restaurant at the mall (the expensive mall with the Nieman Marcus and the museum artwork) had the plates and the waitresses would pour the olive oil and vinegar for you and tell you how fancy the vinegar was as she worked the comicly oversized pepper mill, that she carries around tied to her waist, over the saucer.
And if you don't tear the bread, how else will you get the maximum surface area and tendrily bits that will suck up all the oil?
I'm sure they can tell by the hat and ridiculous belt buckle.
>This kills the Italian
It's just easier to assume all women you will meet are like this. It's very rare when they're not.
Man, that sounds like a great story user.
Stop reminding me how horrible liberals are. I live in Commiefornia, and I hate it here.
On the bright side, my cousin in New York married an Italian who's family owns a five-star restaurant. Was probably the most expensive meal I will ever eat and I got it free because we were all there to celebrate them getting married. It was amazing. Nice guy too, friendly, if a bit quiet.
you trying to tell me this isnt actually a thing in italy?
>mfw i order cappucino after 10 am
...
Answer this Italy user, has my life been a lie?
That sounds atrocious. People have gotten ptsd for less.
I need to know too, I don't meet authentic Italians
Only when you keep your olive oil and bread basket next to your wood chipper and knock it all over
That sounds wonderful. And rare, most Italians are quite 'out there'
Kekkerino
>>Well, here comes the part you might have anticipated by now: they drag the amorphous lumps of bread through the oil-balsamico mixture, absolutely drenching it
>>They eat the bread
thats a common appetizer here.
...they do do that, maybe not a whole plate full though, but olive oil and balsamic vinegar as a dip for bread is pretty common.
Why the fuck are you insulting neanderthals?
Dude, everybody that's that with the oil and vinegar... There's literally huge chains of Italian restaraunts that do this for you, plus some Italian seasons mixed in it, as soon as the waiter comes to your table and brings bread.
It taste fucking delicious. I would have put some of the mozzarella on my bread and then dipped it in.
The wine stuff is pretty bad though.
>>Next, they grab already cut pieces of bread and tear them apart like neanderthals
>>Well, here comes the part you might have anticipated by now: they drag the amorphous lumps of bread through the oil-balsamico mixture, absolutely drenching it
When I was in Italy visiting my big sister and her boyfriends family they literally all did that.
>Actually, I notice among liberals (millennials in general? they all seem to be liberals) that they really like the Food Network and food shows, but hate cooking for themselves, and eat out all the time, sometimes never cooking a single meal. You would think it was bad on your wallet.
There's a decent theory about hipsterism, that explains how millennial whites secretly/subconsciously pine for a high-class European life prior to Americanisation and industrialisation.
This "foodie" thing is part of that, and what's extra sad is that if the traditional household and sex roles were still a thing, then these piggish women who've never been told "no" would be cooking these fancy meals for their families, instead of eating them with the table manners of babies after having bought them from a restaurant.
I really can't fucking get over this. Fuck the wops. That is delicious and I'll never stop doing it.
...
Don't worry about it, the wop in this thread is retarded and wrong. Visit Milan, Venice, and its in many restaurants.
I bet you guys thought pepperoni was a pizza topping in Italy too, huh?
Niggers need to kill all white americans and germans
>That sounds wonderful. And rare, most Italians are quite 'out there'
Oh it was. Full four-five course meal, iirc. It's been a while so I can't remember everything, but what I do know is that it was absolutely amazing. Nothing like the traditional Columbian food my grandmother made when we visited her and the rest of my mother's family in NY.
You can see it in the way that they try to preserve historic buildings and neighborhoods too. As if it was the buildings that made the society and not the people they destroyed via mass immigration.
Yes, don't drip your bread in olive oil and pour all this shit on your plate like it's some tortilla dip. Order Fettunta if you need a greasy experience to feel like at home.
Just Fuck off then you fucking traitor, you basically become as unprincipled and vitriolic as an average liberal if you actually hate America.
You are literally just as faggy as them.
>People ordering "latte" and getting a glass of milk
It's not?
> It should accompany the main course(s) or maybe the appetiser. Tradition states one piece of bread must be kept to absorb the last bit of sauce when all pasta is eaten
so basically eat it like a normal person eats food with source.
Using bread to clean the last of it off you're plate.
t. Hairy Southern Italian Arab rape baby
Oh user.
But if you're not allowed to drink coffee with milk after 10 AM, does that mean that Italians don't drink cappuccino at all?
I think this is done in Italy if you replace bread with finocchio.
And oil + vinegar with proper vinaigrette.
They have Prosciutto that they pretend is really different but it's not really desu.
next theyre going to say eyeties dont eat spaghetti
Liberal Yanks on vacation really are the most detestable.
I hate Americans as much as anyone other sane person,
But fuck Italian food and culture
>That most beloved of "Italian" salami varieties was first mentioned in print in an American ad in 1919
One night I visited my parents for dinner. My mother was pouring glasses of wine and made a remark on how small the wine bottles seem. I mentioned how I had heard that the standard wine bottle was the size it was so that two people could have three glasses each. I turned my head and saw her standing in the doorway holding a large wine glass filled to the brim. She then said "Really? Cause I only got two out of that bottle."