Dr. Pavel, I'm overweight

Dr. Pavel, I'm overweight.

FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO SNACK ON MY AIRCRAFT

YOU'RE A BIG GUY.
>You too.

He wasn't uh... lean

Uh, you don't get to bring weights.
>they are not my weights

YOU'RE A WIDE GUY

"They were trying to grab your snack. They work for the diabetic man..."

Don't worry no charge for refills

Who payed you to grab Dr.Pepper?!

Get them on board, I'll order takeout!

WAS ORDERING FAST FOOD PART OF YOUR PLAN?

keke

Was getting guac part of your meal plan?

YOU'RE A BIG MAC.

Nice

The bile rises

Calm down doctor, now's not the time for beer. That comes later.

Scene so far:
>CIA crushing his bones to fit his fingers between belt and belly
>Dr. Pepper, I'm overweight.
>"He wasn't uh... Lean."
>Uh, you don't get to bring fries.
>"Don't worry, no charge for refills."
>And why would I pay for them?
>"They were trying to grab your dine. They work for the nutricionist, the Mars-Bar Man."
>Bane? - Get them on board, I'll order takeout!
>(Insert flight plan joke)
>First one to talk gets to snack on my aircraft!
>WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DR. PEPPER?!
>*puts him on a treadmill*
>He didn't walk so good, who wants to try next?
>Tell me about Bane. Why is he on a diet? ... A lot of loyalty for a
>(Shoot a man before throwing him outta plane joke)
>At least you can walk. Who are you?
>"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our gains. No one cared who I was 'till I put on some pounds."

>no one cared who I was 'till I put on some pounds

Congratulations! You got yourself a heart attack, now what's the next step of your masterplan?

Your a big guy
>Same UUUU

Master Bane, are you here to inspect your big guy clones?

WEIGHT?

Overweight, I'm Dr. Now.

...

>this thread
Baneposting is the gift that will never stop giving.

Said the facebook tourist

>Lisa, I'm Dr. Now
>The diet plan I just filed with TLC, this is me, my nurses, Lisa here, but only one of you
>First one to lose 100lbs gets to stay in my hospital
>He didn't diet so good
>Tell me about James, why does he consume 15,000 calories a day?
>What happens if we pop his leg boils?
>Lotta loyalty for a former cheating wife
>OR PERHAPS SHES WONDERING WHY SOMEONE WOULD MAKE A MAN DIET, BEFORE GIVING HIM A GASTRIC BYPASS
>At least you can talk, who are you?
>IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO WE ARE, WHAT MATTERS IS OUR FOOD
>NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS TIL I HIT 600lbs
>James?
>If I pop those leg boils, will you die?
>IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL
>You're a big guy
>FOR YOU
>Was getting fat part of your plan?
>OF COURSE
>Well congratulations, you got fat, now what's the next step of your master plan?
>EATING THIS CHINESE FOOD
>WITH NO LEFT OVERS