/got/ general

Cock merchant edition

/maturemen/ BTFO

Why did Rhaegar name both his sons Aegon?

>fanbase is so stockhome syndromed by GURM that they have resorted to autistically analyzing every detail in the books in hopes of finding something interesting to talk about

Damn Reddit is angry
When he divorced Elia he also divorced his children and was starting over fresh with Lyanna and a brand new Aegon that wouldn't be half Dornish.

jonsafags are such hypocrites.

They deny the leaks because Jon fucks Dany and they think the rest is retarded, but latch onto ladspart2 saying Jon mirrors Ned by shoving Littlefinger against a wall

When's the next season start?

What was the point of this character again?

July 16th

>autistically analyzing every detail in hopes of finding something interesting to talk about
welcome to every fanbase ever

>he also kicks all the smallfok out of the castle

Only he didn't, plain fucking written in the Blackfish/Jaime argument.

But I'm glad we're getting such an intensive analysis from someone who didn't read the books.

You don't know what over analysis is until you watch preston .

Is that ADBC?

Yes he's in season five
To waste a great actor I guess.

Is dorne white? Asking for a friend

of course it is

jaime's conversations with blackfish and edmure were the best part of AFFC

with the blackwoods/bracken too.
All Jaime is based in affc.

the white book too, and talking with all members of the KG.

(I think that's all AFFC anyway)

Probably not all of it is super important to the plot, but it's comfy as fuck, and good characterization for Jaime.

>"This was my father's solar," said Tully. "He ruled the riverlands from here, wisely and well. He liked to sit beside that window. The light was good there, and whenever he looked up from his work he could see the river. When his eyes were tired he would have Cat read to him. Littlefinger and I built a castle out of wooden blocks once, there beside the door. You will never know how sick it makes me to see you in this room, Kingslayer. You will never know how much I despise you."
shit was great
although i don't know why he gave him his life story just like that

That's up there but The Reaver is one of the most fun chapters GRRM ever wrote

Modern day Isaac Hempstead Wright

dorne is afghanistan

Friendly reminder that Syrio Forel survived and is currently disguised as Meryn Trant.

based user continuing to bring impeccable taste and class to every new thread, these uncultured pigs dont appreciate all you do for them

>tfw you used to be attracted to Meera's actress for a little while and now have no idea why

The real question is why you are no longer attracted to her.

because she got too fat and jewish?

King Robert has been mauled by a boar, and as he lies dying, he names YOU, his bastard, as his legitimate heir. Then, he dies.

You can pick four of the following Houses to ally with. The other six will rise up in rebellion. You gain control of all of their vassals and sworn servants, and you must choose your Small Council, Queen, and Kingsguard from this pool.

House Stark
House Tully
House Arryn
House Greyjoy
House Lannister
House Baratheon of Dragonstone
House Baratheon of Storm's End
House Tyrell
House Martell
House Targaryen

Who do you choose?

Can my Queen be from one of the other Houses that are rebelling?

>splitting baratheon in 2
I refuse to participate in this heresy.

Complain to Renly and Stannis

based STAB alliance wins every time

Same time as Robert actual death? ( kinda matters for Targaryen ).
and assuming, book version?

You have to pick a Queen from your four houses and their vassals in order to secure those alliances. You'll have to find a way to get rid of her if you want to marry a rebel.

At first, Targaryen is just Viseys, Danerys, and Varys (Targaryen loyalist).

If you pick Targaryen, you can wait to ally with them at a later date (i.e., you could wait three years and get Dany's full army). You get no help before then.

Stark, Arryn, Lannister, Tyrell.

Sansa is my Queen, breed that bitch and my kid will be tied by blood to three Houses.

I also sell out Gregor Clegane to House Martell to help appease them.

I'm not gonna get into too much detail about the small Council, suffice to say that Ned, Randyl, Tywin, some Redwyne and based Bronze Royce will be on it.

Kingsguard won't get into much either but definitely Loras so he can't betray me.

>Sansa is my Queen
have fun with your retarded kids

My retarded kids will be royalty tied to half of Westeros and no worse than the Targaryens.

I'll set up marriages for them to the Tyrells and Lannisters.

>tied to half of Westeros
but you've just made the tullys rebel against you

Tyrell
Lannister
Targaryen
Greyjoy

These are the only 4 houses that present any kind of threats.
Starks/Martell/Baratheonx2/Arryn have no men, and Tully are "PLEASE RAPE US" in every war.

Tyrell and Lannister have most men, most wealth, Targaryen have the only dragons, and I take Greyjoy only to avoid having to chase the Iron Fleet around, plus Euron is a fucking wild card who knows what he can do, I don't want to have him against me.

Queen : Margaery
Hand : Randyll Tarly
Master of coin : Olenna Redwyne
Master of laws : Kevan Lannister
Master of ships : Paxter Redwyne
Master of whisperers : Can I get Varys? I mean he's either with the Lannister or the Targaryen and I have both... If I can't, I don't know Tyrion or some shit.
Grandmaester : Samwell Tarly (Randyll gonna like that, but I have control of them you said so who cares!)

KG : Loras Jaime Garlan Victarion.. And 3 nobodies I guess. I don't have many strong knights in my houses but who cares.

But they won't. Family, duty, honor, and kinslaying, Tullys won't do shit.

And my kids by Sansa will still have Tully and Stark blood that flows through Sweetrobin and obviously Edmure too.

did you not read the original scenario?

I did, but just because they rebel doesn't mean the Tullys suddenly stop giving a shit about their House words or that they're tied by blood to the Starks or that Westeros and the Houses stop caring about kinslaying

not that guy, but the scenario is "pick 4 houses the other 6 rise in rebellion against you"..
You can't pick 4 and say "Well the other ones probably won't rebel against me".

fair, but being from a different family isn't going to help if that family is rebelling against you
maybe they won't kill you all if they take the capital I guess?
also
>wanting your queen to be 1/4 practically common-blooded

Well if it makes sense that they won't, yes I can.

Tully words are Tully words and kinslaying is still kinslaying, this shouldn't make things illogical where people just kill whoever and the world is black and white cause no one gives a fuck.

>1/4 practically common-blooded

What?

How do Ned or Cat practically have common blood?

whents are upjumped knights

Yeah I guess the Tully didn't rise in rebellion when Sansa was bethroted to Joffrey and later on married to Tyrion, right?

Well then I take the first 4 houses whatever they are, then I queen someone from the 5th, my HotK is someone from the 6th, I put #7 #8 and #9 on my small council and #10 is my lord commander of the kingsguard so all houses are loyal to me and never rise in rebellion after all despite what the scenario said.

Tyrell, Baratheon of Dragonstone, Lannister, Stark.

First move is to use Lannister gold to hire faceless men to kill Daenerys. Maybe Viserys/Griff too if it's affordable.

Lannister and BoD give me immediate control over King's Landing, lending legitimacy to my reign. Renly is neutered without the option to ally with the Tyrells or Stannis, so I'll deal with him first and pick up the rest of the Stormlands

The Riverlands are completely indefensible, and I have them surrounded, so I'll focus on that next. Once they're subdued, the Neck and the Trident should serve as natural barriers to Arryn invasion for the time being.

Dragonstone and the Redwyne fleet combined should prove more than enough to stop the Greyjoys. I want to defeat them in the field to give me leverage to shake things up in the Iron Islands and try to make them less shitty.

House Martell is completely useless on the offensive. They don't have much that I want, so I'd be willing to grant them independence if they can't be brought into the fold through marriage. I'll send them the Mountain and Amory Lorch to improve relations if it looks like that will help.

I'll leave the Vale for last. I might be able to arrange a favorable marriage with Lysa in order to placate them, but I'm not threatened by a kingdom led by Lysa Tully and her son without practical alliance options. Littlefinger is the only factor to be wary of here.

Small Council:
Tyrion Lannister as Hand of the King
Tywin Lannister as Master of Coin
Eddard Stark as Master of Laws
Olenna Redwyne as Master of Whisperers
Davos Seaworth as Master of Ships
I'll try to use Oldtown influence to get a better Grand Maester, too.

Kingsguard:
Lord Commander Jamie Lannister
Sandor Clegane
Greatjon Umber
Loras Tyrell
I'll leave the remainder open as bargaining chips

Queen is Margaery
Stannis and Randyll Tarly are my field commanders

Sansa was a hostage, then forced to marry Tyrion and they were fighting to free her, beat the fuck out of the Lannisters that burned their home and killed Ned.

Ned's on my side, Cat's on my side, I have 5 half Tully on my side and married to one, and I didn't burn their land but I sure as fuck can with the Vale on my side where Lysa don't give two shits about the Tully words.

I think that's why we were only supposed to pick our staff from the 4 houses loyal to us.
It's too easy if we don't, we can get like 7-8 houses in good terms with us.

Well now you're just being nonsensical, retarded, and completely missing my point but implies you can't just pick someone from the rebel Houses to join you, which isn't even what I'm doing.

Gamemaster here, the Tullys WILL rise against you and at least make an effort to rebel. However, your picks leave them with few allies and make them easier to bring back into the fold. You'll have to fight a few battles first, though.

>I'll send them the Mountain and Amory Lorch to improve relations if it looks like that will help.
kek I read that wrong at first, like sending them raiding parties, see if that help :^)

See I'm not picking anyone outside of the 4, I'm not even saying the Tullys are my allies and will fight for me, they just won't likely actually try and kill me, there is such a thing as neutrality or making things difficult without fighting on the battlefield, especially when I'm surrounded by their fucking kids, grandkids and nieces and nephews.

Fair enough

But Tyrion was a fucking terrible Hand...
Granted he was not in a good position, obviously, but still... He spent so much fucking time and effort fucking aroudn Cersei and hiding Shae, and keep in mind he knew he was in desperate situation... but whatever, lets just spend the whole day getting to shae and shit, it's not like I'm at the same time expressing my fears of hearing about Stannis sailing form Dragonstone and Renly coming up the Roseroad.


And even without that... He spent all his time thinking Cersei was the big threat to his "rule", while LF and Varys where actually the dangerous ones ( which he kinda discarded and focused on Pycelle after his little trick ). Cersei only wanted to keep on some kind of rule, and protect her children. Meanwhile LF was scheming to murder the king and rise in power, and Varys scheming to obliterate the ruling houses to bring in a new king.

Tyrion was fucking shit. And the worst thing is that he thinks he'S fucking good at it. Which is ironic because at many points he has thoughts like "Cersei probably thinks she's clever for doing this or that but it is stupid!" while Tyrion is doing exactly the same.

Apologies I'm mentally challenged.

Guess I'm too used to call Sansa a Tully on /got/

You need to stop posting. If it weren't for him and the stunt he pulled at blackwater we'd all be speaking autismo right now.

>that time he dedicated all the steel/iron production of the capital towards making a defense against ships when all the biggest threats to the capital come from inland
just another example of lannisters fucking up but it working out anyway

Tyrion's better than he gets credit for, and most of his flaws came from family dynamics which wouldn't matter if I was in charge and not Tywin or Cersei. He wouldn't have to worry about hiding his whores, he wouldn't have to mess around with Cersei (who I would send back to Casterly Rock ASAP), etc.

Tyrion has a lot of natural ability in the role. He has most of the same talents Tywin did, but he'd be less likely to stab me in the back so long as I treat him well. He singlehandedly won the Battle of the Blackwater, he was pretty good at arranging marriages, he doesn't have the popular support to usurp me... Tyrion is a good Hand pick.

Making a good move in a war =/= being a good hand of the king.

Also Tyrion using 10k urns of Wildfire that CERSEI commanded done, isn't exactly all Tyrion. Sure she only planned to use it as ammo, but you get the point.

Tyrion only used what he was given. Like Dany.

And anyway, again, it's not his only duties as hand. Tyrion was good as a battle commander you could say. Nothing more. He was a fucking shit hand.

The dwarf kept the streets safe, humiliated stannis using strategy and managed to fuck a qtp2t regular sized girl. I'd say he did pretty well.

>kept the streets safe
>King Bread.txt

>The dwarf kept the streets safe
The Royal family ( + sansa ) was almost annihilated in one stroke during the riots.

>humiliated stannis using strategy
strategys and wildfire that was Cersei's idea. MOstly wildfire.
Oh and Stannis' fleet wasn't even the big threat. He probably wouldn't have taken the city in even without the wildfire. The wildfire didn'T save the day, Tywin/Tyrell did.

>and managed to fuck a qtp2t regular sized girl. I'd say he did pretty well.
How is that relevant? Jeez he told bronn "Hey go pay some whore for me" and Bronn did it? 10/10 HotK.


I'd give Tyrion a battle command anytime. Even with very little experience he figures out what to do, and he's not a coward, that's a plus.
But I wouldn't give him a position like HotK. Too easily distracted/commited to random shit, and doesn't know who to "fight" against his his job.

and the worst is that he KNOWS lf/varys are big threats. He keeps going on about this man is dangerous, lf this, varys that... then he goes fuck it, let's find out how I could piss off Cersei some more today.

He knows who they are, what they are (well not entirely, but he has ideas), he knows they control most of the city behind the scene, and completely ignores it and does nothing about it. Just focus on shae/cersei, lancel so he can spy on cersei, it's all the same shit he ignores the bi g threats to focus on the small irrelevant stuff.

>finds out LF framed him and almost got him killed
>does nothing about it
are we meant to believe that tyrion is smart?

What could he do about it at that point?

>Tyrion knew. "Spikes," he sighed. "Heads. Walls."

Do you think Varys wanted Tyrion to kill Tywin? Do you think he knew Tywin had been poisoned?

Isn't Varys the one who poisoned him?

Why didn't the ironbabbies just bonk ramsay on the back of the head while he was unlocking the hound cage?

shirtless ramsay with 20 alright men ranks 3rd on the best fighters in westeros tier list if i remember correctly

Anyone knows if it's legal to call yourself a writer if you don't write?

don't worry, I've already drafted a suit against gurm. will begin litigation after s7 ends

he writes plenty
about wildcards and football and 50 more targaryens that no one gives a shit about

Probably Oberyn

>literally the first person that everyone would suspect
even dorneniggers aren't that dumb

Take the fat fuck to court

Friendly reminder that there's zero evidence that he wrote a single page since 2011

...

Priorities in George's life

>The Giants
>The Jets
>Meat pies
>Wild Cards
>The Hugo Awards
>Worldcon
>Jean Cocteau Cinema
>Complaining about his fans
>Huge, dark nipples
>Editing anthologies
>Fucking Sibel Kekilli
>Wolves
>Santa Fe
>Drumpf
>Winds

Oberyn's plan was to either be gone or dead before anyone would notice. He wanted war with the Lannisters anyway.

Well a dozen or so chapters have already been released. I suppose they could have been written before 2011 though

They were. All of them were the shit cut from ADWD and AFFC.

how do you know?

Lannister, Tyrell, Arryn, Stark

Myrcella would be my Queen. She's cute and sweet so I don't have to worry about her too much. Margery is too scheming, and Sansa is too retarded.

I just need Olenna and Tywin in the chamber to figure out the politics and Robb can go lead the army.

I'd own Westeros in 5 years flat, and the rest of the world in 10.

The fanbase doesn't like GRRM anymore.

>LF tried to get me killed by framing me for murder
>I know! I'll put Cersei in a 2 days coma with some poison so I can send away 300 loyal Lannister soldiers! Cersei is really dangerous because she asks the right to veto some of my decisions. This is worse than trying to kill me

Jeez I guess they would certainly assume it was Oberyn and if he demanded Trial by combat to prove his innocence they's surely be unfair and force him to fight some monster of a man like Gregor Cleg...
Oh.

why are people picking stark?
their lands are mostly barren, they have zero navy because some retard burned it hundreds of years ago and apparently all his descendants were too retarded to rebuild it, no (recent) military commanders of any particular note and it takes them forever to assemble a meh-sized army with not much cavalry that will take ages to march anywhere useful
what's the appeal?

Who would be your myrcella or choice, feminist myrcella or tiger myrcella?

First Myrcella is Feminist Myrcella, right? Well I don't like her views but I can't resist suckling on those tits

I would suffocate myself in her cleavage and die happy

Some of them put Eddard on the small council so think you got your answer.

I mean he lasted 250 pages alive on the small council I guess that's something.

>no (recent) military commanders of any particular note

What about Robb? Kid is a military genius. Roose Bolton aint bad neither


Ned is not a bad choice though if you want at least one person on the Council who will be loyal and a little more willing to compromise than Stannis

>What about Robb? Kid is a military genius
not finishing off tywin asap was dumb, and he (probably) didn't have a plan to draw him west because otherwise he would've told everyone about it
his actual victories can mostly be attributed to warg hacks + gay uncle

I don't know, maybe because Robb managed to fuck up Lannisters despite his "meh-sized" army? Imagine what he could do if he had access to all that other shit?

Tiger. She looks like a blonde KStew... and that girl is down to fuck, if you get my westerosi.

The North is fucking enormous, which makes up for its low concentration of resources. Mostly, it's a counter-move .The Riverlands or the Vale become much more dangerous if they're allowed to ally with the North. The North would also be extremely difficult to conquer, and the Starks could continue to wage war for years. Storm's End falls the moment Renly dies, Robert Arryn's death would trigger a huge power vacuum in the Vale, etc... but the North is a problem that isn't easy to solve.