Stop right now infidel scum!

Stop right now infidel scum!
Cite me a quote of the Qu'ran (of your own choice) or perish!

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Spaghetti carbonara

The one about fucking goats???

"Christianity is the one true religion and America will be made great again."

Im paraphrasing but I think it was on page 4

behead all those who insult the prophet

blow it out your ass

>Draw a line in the sand
>"This is Mohammad"
Worth it

If a man lay with a man like he does with a woman, he shall be stoned

[The Prophet said, “Listen and obey (your chief) even if an Ethiopian whose head is like a raisin were made your chief".]

this child shall be my bride

You fucked up, bring a gun next time.

Ficki Ficki goat muhammed desu nEeEeeeEEEee!??

tfw quoting random line from bible and everything gonna be just fine :D

Take neither Christian nor Jew for your friend. I'm free to go now, right?

Mashallah brother. Let me quote from the manual of Sadiq ibn Londoni, when approaching an infidel you must first ask him the to state his allegiance.

>like he does with a woman
Rubbing dicks is fine.

Can't do that with a woman.

Takbir, Allah wakbar.

Ofc a bong knows the fucking quoran

"Kill them wherever you find them"

The only one I can actually remember 2bh

Alhola Snackbar

Sancte Michael Archangele,
defende nos in proelio;
contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium.
Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur:
tuque, Princeps militiae Caelestis,
satanam aliosque spiritus malignos,
qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo,
divina virtute in infernum detrude.
Amen.

wow its like a real life version of [citation needed]

if one muslim calls another a heretic one is right

Being a hooded zealot in the year of your lord 2016, well meme'd, my radical friend.

I would but the goat ate it :(

Reported 'Aisha (RA): ‘the verse of stoning and of suckling an adult ten times was revealed, and they were (written) on a paper and kept under my pillow. When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) expired and we were occupied by his death, a goat entered and ate away the paper.’
- Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1944

And on the seventh day the Lord said "fucketh thy goats"

*thud*

that was the sound of a sandnigger getting knocked the fuck out

* or Paris

Surat al-nisa: 34: "Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

>mfw this is a fucking hadith from 'Aisha and not a quote from the Qur'an

The ahadith are a qur'an fan-fic, and the Qur'an is 50 shades of gay.

truly allah is the greatest deceiver

"Figh those who believe not in Allah nor in the Day of Judgment until all say "la illaha ill'allah".
David Wood keeps repeating this one, so I know it almost by heart.

the slavic way

"And in the time of judgment the Jews will run and hide behind trees and rocks, yet the trees and rocks shall be given voice and cry out: 'Oh Muslim, servant of God, there is a Jew who hides behind me. Come over here and kill him!' "

This. Do you have the reference?

"We shouldn't waste our time, muslims brother. We need to apply surah 8, verse 12 to these kaffir immediately"
>relieved and hopeful, Ahmed looks away and holsters his fag knife
>put a bullet in his sand-filled head

Apparently I was mistaken. They're from the hadiths, not the Quran. According to the internet, "Sahih al-Bukhari" and "Sahih Muslim" are the collections you'd be looking for.

It doesn't come as a surprise. Lots of the worst stuff comes from the ahadith.

I'm increasingly getting the feeling that the actual fuck of both Islam and Judaism lies not in their holy books, but exclusively within the bonus material (ahadith and talmud).

And then the Prophet (pbh) said unto Allah: 'if her age is on the clock she's old enough for cock' - Bagdahidi 4:20

Sahih Muslim. It's actually a pretty legit source for them. The kind of stuff they take almost as seriously as the Qur'an.

It's certainly true for the Jews. If you take away the Talmud and the gazillion other lawbooks they made up, it's just the Old Testament, which is still pretty awful, but the lawbooks are very specific.

As for Islam... The ahadith contain everything and it's contrary, and there's a lot of foul bullshit. Sharia and fiqh are pretty bad, too.
The Qur'an itself contains some brutal shit as well, like the command to beat your wifes into submission (4:34) and generally, the threat of hellfire which is a constant throughout the whole book. You find it at the start of Sura 2 and you find it in the last ones as well. Also, circular thinking: God cursed Jews to have bad faith because they had bad faith.

Mohammed akbar'd.

"you can make sex to the sheep in the poop" Shamalamadingdong, book eight, verse eleventeen, eat bacon.

And God said, let there be light [spoiler]note: light comes from bombs[/spoiler]

Fuck you and your children's fairy tale book. All religions are a fucking lie.

Have you stopped 3 times today to think whether you have wronged a person or not habibi?

>Qur’an 18:83-86—And they ask you about Dhul-Qarnain. Say: “I shall recite to you something of his story.” Verily, We established him in the earth, and We gave him the means of everything. So he followed a way. Until, when he reached the setting place of the sun, he found it setting in a spring of black muddy (or hot) water. And he found near it a people.

this quote may save your life

"Hara tikule, hadur mokur"

Oh fuck - black Americans and Obama?

>cursed Jews to have bad faith because they had bad faith
"This is what got you damned, now you shall suffer from it forever" - makes sense if we assume that faith is an inherently good quality (like a religious text no doubt does).

>Blah blah sleep with 9 year old girls

Sunni islam is ideology of submission to cheif, to political people.

> Order to obey the men in power even if they are satanic

islamlab.com/ordre-dobeir-aux-hommes-de-pouvoir-meme-si-ce-sont-des-sataniques/


>Sweden yes !
>this is so tolerant, Captain Sweden

There is no god but kek

>the bomb has been planted
you are free to go :D sorry for the inconvenience

Is it alright if I just show you my Qu'ran instead?

>makes sense if we assume that faith is an inherently good quality (like a religious text no doubt does).
No, it doesn't. Not to me. It's circular. Makes my brain melt.

Only acceptable if you put a slice of pork in it as a pagekeeper.

No? I feel that in a twisted sense it's only logical that faith, if assumed to be inherently good or useful, would be sorely missed when lacking; meaning that the text tells the Jews: "You have not managed this resource well, you shall have no more." All this, however, hinges on whether the rewards/uses of faith are defined at all; entry into paradise being the most common and prominent one.

Inshallah