Be me

>be me
>no job
>no gf
>heroin killed all my friends
>live in an shithole with a lower life expectancy rate than Sudan because nobody can figure out how to make food without frying it
>10/10 in a lorry stops me (looks exactly like scarlett johansson)
>obviously mirrin me
>suppress autism for once in my life
>She's gasping for it
>Get her number
>find out later it there was hidden cameras
>It was for a movie
>go to the pub, at lest the people in this country only watch Dad's army and bumfights
>Bartender laughs and tells me he is a fan of "cinephillic kino'
>MFW

Such is life in Scotland

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_effect
io9.gizmodo.com/scarlett-johansson-really-picked-up-random-dudes-for-un-1545428479?IR=T
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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kek

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could have been worst my man
imagine being a britibongistani subhuman

>where is Scotland

...

>Such is life in Scotland
fucking Thatcher

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See this guy pretty often in London, think there was a BBC documentary about him too

At least you guys got to be in kino

Scotland is literally a first world country, and life-expectancy is over twenty years higher than in Sudan.

But you expect half as much from life when you are there.

you should have seen Scotland in the 70s.

>Sudan/Life expectancy 63.46 years (2014)
>Glasgow, life expectancy at birth is 71.6 years for men

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_effect

.>>>>>>>>Glasgow

Wait, I don't get it. Was it actually scarjo? Why the fuck were there hidden cameras? Do you mean you actually were in Under The Skin?

>As Glazer wanted the film to feel realistic, most characters were played by non-actors; many scenes where Johansson's character picks up men were unscripted conversations with men on the street filmed with hidden cameras.

>io9.gizmodo.com/scarlett-johansson-really-picked-up-random-dudes-for-un-1545428479?IR=T

Holy shit op, congratulations. Did you make it into the final cut? How convincing was she irl?

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It's not bait, I'm just retarded

This woman pulls up alongside you and offers you a lift. What do you do?

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this kinda made me feel bad desu

How was it?

QT t b h

Beats watching the girl you like on cam fucking her new bf because she forgot to turn it off

>This is how i became a cuck

Did you record it?

>forgot

Smdh dude

Lol she's not your girl and obviously doesn't care about you if she has a new bf while you're single.
Jacking it to her getting pounded is essentially the same as watching porn.
Just some random Stacy taking a dicking.

>lorry
It was a van m8

There's like maybe 2 scenes in the movie where she interacts with someone for 15 seconds that might not have known there was a camera. The fact that this movie tried to make it a big deal was a joke.

This board really is full of fucking retards.

Yes, a lot of the men in the film were picked up with hidden camera and didn't know they were filmed, however this guy was NOT. He was casted as the character he ended up playing and hew knew what was going to happen.

Inform yourselves before you spout shit, idiots

Would you have taken a lift from her? I think I probably would have been too suspicious that there were some guys in the back waiting to fuck my shit up.

In this day and age, you'd have to be really fucking dumb to get into a car with a stranger, she's probably part of a gang that robs stupid people looking for pussy.

I get suspicious immediately when any woman talks to me period.

user's not claiming to be the deformed guy, you fucking idiot.

Could be worse my friend you could be a nigger aka English/London

No, but he's claiming that the deformed guy was also filmed with hidden camera and didn't know it was for a film until later, when he was in fact the only one of the males to have been casted for the role properly

Well obviously everyone here would recognise her.

If it was another actress that I didn't recognise, it depends. I would be suspicious if she had a Scottish accent, but I'd be more trusting of an American in that situation because they're just less likely to be part of some dodgy local gang.

He's just using his face as a reaction image you autist.

Unfortunately this

>some attractive lady with an affected faux-London accent rolls up to you in the middle of Scotland
>'oi bruv, can I get some directions? While I'm at it, want to get in my suspicious van that probably has 4 guys with knifes in the back?

Seems like an incredibly retarded thing to do.

>Be at a bar
>10/10 approaches me
>Asks me to dance and tells me she loves tall guys
>We go to sit down and she pulls me in and whispers(shouts really because bar) "I want you to come home with me and fuck me"
>Turn her down because I was sure I was about to be robbed because this would obviously never happen in real life
>She calls me a faggot
>Friends call me a faggot
>Drink until I black out in the hopes that I'll forget
>Blogpost on Sup Forums

BTFO some stupid roastie is worth more than banging her.

Some of the randomers in the movie said they recognised her but just thought it had to be a lookalike because why would Scar Jo be driving around Glasgow in a van.

Would you... live your life with a face like that, but in return you get to do a completely nude scene with Scarlett Johansson?

>shorter than the girl

What a beta cunt

>Be me
>Scotfag
>Under the Skino torrented and ready to go
>need food/drink
>phone Chinese for collection and stop by asda for drinks
>get home
>KINO TIME
>SJ drives past Chinese I'm eating from and and gets directions to 'the big asda'
>mfw

What the actual fuck is that thing?

K I N O OF FOOD

That girl has a better profile than that midget

>the state of britain
shes ugly as fuck you autists

I'd bang her you fat fuck

because you live in britain the land of ugly shits, where pakis are the top of the food chain

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wheres the pizza?

isnt she indian. anyway who cares about race when it comes to attractive women

>live in an shithole with a lower life expectancy rate than Sudan because nobody can figure out how to make food without frying it
scotfag here, I'm dying

Manlets when will they learn?

Learn what?

That Britain is and always was a melting pot.

Ah, another redditard

No I'm just a manlet

>tfw it should be comforting that I don't have to deal with a life like his but it still does not help

We say "Yes"

Kek,even God hates them.

still time to move away to literally anywhere in the northen eu before brexit hits the fan

At least your not English.

While a small area of Glasgow (about the size of two American city blocks) had the lowest life expectancy some time ago, another area a few miles away has the highest life expectancy rate anywhere in the world, 2 years higher than Okinawa. The englishman, divorced as he is from any morality or spirituality, finds himself obsessed with anyone he can justify his meaningless existence by looking down on; of course he ignores the greater wealth of examples that are better than him, his egg shell ego wouldn't be able to bear it.

And the chippy cunt in the picture is english, and is by no means the ugliest englishman I've ever seen.

>unexplained
What part of "scotland" do they not understand?

Look at Malcom McDuncan getting all rustled up in here

That the big Asda south side? Maria Carey was shopping there about a year ago

> looks like Scotlands moving up

Really nice movie
Anything like this you lads could recommend :?

>AVG SCOTCUNT BREKKY

MUNCHIEBOX MADMEN

It's in a weird middle ground of comfy, unsettling and melancholic. Can't say I've seen anything quite like it.

Enemy is the closest thing I can think of, but I think it's a shit movie and a drag to get through.

And though they're not necessarily similar in theme I get the same feeling from some of Peter Strickland and Nicolas Winding Refn's movies, and a few assorted others like Byzantium and Holy Motors. Also some Jarmusch stuff.

this

>girl talks to me for barely a minute
>only purpose of the conversation was to make me do something for her personal gain
This happened everytime when I was in school.

This, so fucking true.

You are so fucking stupid

Literally.

>retards
>casted

i believe this

Who the fuck calls a tranny a lorry?

It probably took them forever to get the footage for the people who appeared in the film.

well consider if you were the deformed guy

he was probably on the brink of suicide and has never felt a womans touch before, he may have been on his way home to kill himself even
I'd risk it if I was in that situation.

If I die, oh well, my life was shit anyways. But there's a chance that I'm going to feel the embrace of a sexy goddess and have one happy moment in my miserable existence, im gonna take that chance