Meanie Genie grants you 3 wishes

> Meanie Genie grants you 3 wishes
> How do you make the wishes watertight?

>i wish i was eternally happy

fault that.

>>i wish i was eternally happy
>i wish i were eternally happy

Faulted and fixed.

Ted was eternally happy at the end of IHNM.

>makes you a drooling retard with an imbecile smile on his face.

never born. bam flawless wish.

Only problem is the genie gets sucked out of existence because this means I never discovered him. It will be extremely painful

I wish I had an active superpower where all insects and bugs in the vicinity of ten feet of my location would instantly teleport into a random persons mouth.

I wish all humans with less than 96% European DNA turned into piles of shit.

Yeah but that would be a lot of shit to clean, all those immigrants who work shitty jobs will be gone, no one will want to clean all the shit up.

Good one, let's not hope the randomized bugs all goes in your mouth, it could happen.

i wish Sup Forums never existed

I wish that I could have an 8 hour, good nights sleep, whenever I'm ready to instead of tossing and turning for an hour

who would be left to post on Sup Forums then?

>no other people within ten feet of you
>all bugs teleport in to your own mouth since there's nowhere else for them to go

What a dumb wish.

>kill all niggers
>kill all sandniggers
>kill me

i wish for half life 3

>not episode 3

Meanie Genie remains unchanged, waiting for another person to rub the lamp. Your wish was in vain.
Meanie Genie turns the people into scumbags/piles of shit.. In addition to having to deal with non-Europeans, they're shitty and annoying to you.
People would eventually figure it was you and throw you into a cell to rot away.
Meanie Genie grants you your wish. Every time you sleep you see wet dreams and jizz & piss in your pants, but you can't remember the wet dreams when you wake up.
Meanie Genie wills the game into existence. It's a broken mess full of bugs and your computer can't run it.
Meanie Genie makes you forget everything about Sup Forums.

I was all people who brapp posted had theri hands fall off.

i wish for all women to turn into handsome buff gay men

You get turned into a fat ugly woman with a peg leg

...

Genie grants it. The buff gay men still retaining their feminine psyche go MtF and become beautiful trannies. They start banging each other and ignore you. Why even live?

They are too buff, no chickenbreast for you

I wish for you to lose your wish granting powers.

Just wondering what would happen to the genie at that point.

I wish the number 3 was greater than infinity.

Would this work?

genie makes it greater than infinity but less than zero. also the universe collapses

welp nothing ventured amiright?

The genie couldn't grant wishes to others, but would still retain his own magical powers.
Sure you could wish that, but that wish has nothing to do with your other wishes. You're just wishing to change the definition of number three, not your third wish. Entertaining the possibility that it would work, the Meanie Genie would just stop granting wishes after the third one.

That would boost robotics. Now it's going slowly because it would create billions of unemployed

I wish I was omnipotent and omniscient.

>all those immigrants who work shitty jobs will be gone, no one will want to clean all the shit up.
We have plenty of white morons to fill in those jobs.

Genie grants your wish, but the infinite information overloads your brain and you die

This

You can't die when you're omnipotent

You can, if you didn't made yourself immortal. And since you died before you can make yourself immortal you died

I wish 100 million AUD in 100 dollar bills would materialize in my living room.

Have you confused omnipotent with immortal? You can still die.

I want the ability to stop time and go invisible
Final wish would be to free the genie cos I'm a nice guy apart from all the frozen time invisible rapes I'd commit.

I wish I could do anything I wanted with absolutely no consequences.

I'd wish for all the powers of a genie, but state clearly that I don't actually want to be a genie. Then I'd tell him to fuck off back into his lamp because I don't need him anymore.

Rip

My wish would be complete invincibility until I want to die

>the dollar bills are from the local banks and when you try to spend or deposit them, the serial numbers on the bills tip you off as the criminal
>the police aren't sure HOW you did it, but you have the incriminating evidence and I don't think they'll take "A genie gave them to me" as an excuse

>Didn't wish for the ability to restart time
>Once you stop time it remains stopped and you are trapped forever
>same thing with going invisible, with the added bonus of being blind because to be transparent light has to pass through you and if light cannot reflect you cannot see

Wow nice

Wish granted, but at the first thought of dieing you die.

This would include POSITIVE consequences, such as feeling pleasure or satisfaction, or even PHYSICAL consequences (such as interacting with matter), so you'd probably become some kind of 4D ghost that no one can see/feel/touch/etc.

>it turns out I'm not a total fucking retard that would attempt to deposit more than 10,000 dollars unaccounted for into any financial institution
I'd clean the money through change at small businesses, purchase luxury items with the clean money, write them off as gifts from my friends, sell them, and deposit that money into the bank.

That's not what I agreed to
You need to be tricked not decieved
Your greed needs to be your undoing

It wouldn't matter. You're not the first person to think of laundering money through local businesses. Eventually it would show a geographical pattern as to where the marked bills were being spent and tighten a police dragnet around you. One million $100 bills is a lot of paper to magically disappear. Should have gotten different denominations of bills.

You can, but omnipotence means all powerful. I can do anything, including making myself immortal, invincible, etc.

You never specified the nature of your invincibility. The genie could just put you into some kind of NEVER DIE POD like Pokey in Earthbound where you're stuck in it, alone, with no internet/TV/etc forever, until you want to fucking die.

But I don't need to get rid of all million of them. I'd want to make out of this around, say, 500-600 grand for a home. That's what, 6,000 100 dollar notes? That's a few years worth of transactions. the rest of it can just be rainy day money

You become the Meanie Genie. Because you know all things that ever were and are to be, and have the ability to do all things that ever were and are to be, you no longer know the feelings of corporeal enjoyment and resort to getting your kicks off of elaborately worded-wish manipulation games with lesser beings.

Genie grants you unlimited strength, but does not adjust your body durability. One swing and your arm is gone.
Genie grants you omnisciene.. in myrmecology. You know everything there is possible to know about ants.
Meanie Genie puts you into a coma, you're in a dream world.
Meanie Genie materializes the bills, they have the same serial number.
Meanie Genie grants you the powers of his friend Sneevie, he has the powers to make fart noises with his hands.

If it was USD, I might see you getting away with it in Burgerland based on the size and population density. But in Kangarooland, that many $100 notes suddenly vanishing from the bank vaults and the amount of locations you'd be capable of even getting change for a $100 note is a lot smaller and worthy of attention.

Unless Aussie police are also super incompetent.

I wish all humans on earth had no empathy for jewish people.

>Black people, feminists and communists still fall for the tricks of the Jews and society does not change

>Jews
>people

Nice try, Shlomo

Australian banks had 270 billion dollars in liquid assets in 2012. I'm certain this wouldn't be as tough as you make it out to be.
But that's not 100 million AUD then. That's 100 AUD. It's like if I delivered you a notice of debt for 100 dollars after I loaned you 100 dollars. Just because I give you the exact same notice another 1,000 times doesn't mean I create a debt of $100,000.

I wish for an asteroid roughly the size of Africa to crash into the Atlantic with no warning and no time for anyone to prepare, killing millions on impact and leading to the rapid extinction of all life on earth, including me and the genie.

What's it like being a person who actually deserves to die horribly?

The asteroid hits an alien space ship called "the Atlantic" out in space, killing millions of ayylmaos and extinction of all life on some dirt ("earth"), which also causes you to die, and the Genie was never alive to begin with so he shrugs.

That's better

I wish that I didn't have these wishes

Whatever as long as I'm dead

>the Meanie Genie gives you three OTHER wishes instead of the three wishes he originally gave you

I wish to become a self serving genie without all the lamp business
Then I do my own wishes
Then I wish for other genie to kill himself

I wish to die painlessly immediately after making this wish.

So if you hate jews then you deserve to die, yes thats totally not racist at all Schlomo.

The Genie destroys all other living beings and himself, as far as you know. Omnipotence and Omniscience are relative to human understanding - as the only living creature, you have literally all the power that exists, and knowledge only applies to something capable of learning and understanding, which is you. If you do not know about it, it does not exist - thus, you are "all knowing".

Congratulations. You played yourself.

what happens if I just don't spend my wishes? I ain't so arrogant to think I can outsmart him, I'll save myself the hassle and just not wish

Meanie Genie materializes your money as these bills. "In December 2016, it was reported that Australia may abolish its $100 note to close down loopholes used by the black economy." Your money quickly becomes worthless.

The genie removes the lamp, but you are instead bound to a ring (like old school genies).

You then have sex ("do") a physical manifestation of your wish to be a genie bound to a ring, which is depicted by two gay midgets dressed up as a genie and a ring.

Lastly, a sad Indian man named "Other Genie" kills himself.

I wish that I become a Meanie Genie with full powers and you become a powerless human, with an urge to make wishes of me

See how the fucker likes a taste of his own medicine

The original poster never specified. In most "evil genie" stories, they'll either threaten you with violence/death if you don't spend the wishes, or just wait for you to either make a slip of the tongue (saying shit like "Oh man, I wish I didn't do that"), or worst case scenario, waits until you sleep and uses your dreams as interpretation of a wish and makes it real (ala the "a dream is a wish your heart makes!" Disney meme)

wish for non tricky response to my wishes
wish for more wishes

1st Wish for Immortaltiy
2nd for Stop aging at 30
3rd for Superman's Power

I ask for stop aging because he can be a dick and make me immortal but I still age and I dont want o be a fucking old man forever

Meanie Genie once again contacts his friend Sneevie and temporarily grants you his powers and transfers his own powers to Sneevie. The human now wishes for you to make farting noises.
Meanie Genie gladly grants you more wishes.
Though he will still only make three of your wishes true.
Meanie Genie grants you immortality and you stop aging at 30. For the third wish, he grants you Superman's invulnerability, nothing else.
Your hair and nails keep growing, you cannot cut them cause you're invulnerable to everything. After years, you're a giant ball of hair and chitin, you can't move anymore. Your entire existence is being encased in your own filth.

Nice try faggot but Superman cuts his own hair and nails with his eyelasers.

OP here, let me have a go at this.

1st wish = I wish that my other wishes be granted to be exactly as I interpret them, not as you or anyone else interprets them.
Now I would scribble what ever on a piece of paper I brought with me.
2nd wish = I wish that everything on this piece of paper would be granted to me in real life right now.
3rd wish = I wish that upon dying of old age in the future, I would be reborn into my own body with my memories intact just before making my wishes.

What eyelasers? He was granted only invulnerability.
>3rd for Superman's Power
He wishes for one of Superman's powers, so the Meanie Genie granted him one.

There's no way to win here without first talking to a lawyer

I wish Sup Forums had actual on topic threads and not garbage found in Sup Forums like this thread

Wish 1: omnipotence
Wish 2: omniscience
Wish 3: omnipresence

bow to your god geniecuck

A little more BAKLAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

Nope wrong its not relative to human understanding at all anything you destroyed I'll simply recreate, literally all knowing all seeing all powerful, your fucked little genie the universe is mine

Wish 1: I wish for there to exist "iticars" Iticars will be identical to wishes except without any limits
Wish 2: I wish for infinite iticars from you
Wish 3: [never]

The Genie eternally extends the last syllable of your wish, making you effectively immortal.