Walked into cinema

>walked into cinema
>fell into the manlet pit AGAIN
>missed the first 40 minutes of the commercials while trying to climb out

>go to cinema with gf
>pass penis inspection with flying colors
>the crab legs I get are nice and fresh
>at 6'3, I stride over the manlet pit. My falcon helps my gf fly over it
>sit down and don't miss even a minute of commercials
>after-movie shower was quite refreshing

I gotta say, today was a good day.

dumb frogposter

>missed the first 40 minutes of the commercials
well at least you caught the final 90 minutes along with the pre-show joust.

>tfw manlets always cling on to your shoes and calf as you step over the manlet pit and you have to stop to shake them off every time

How do you guys prevent this?

the last time i went to the movies (alvin & the chipmunks 3: the roadchip) i got lost in the hedgemaze and didnt get out until the movie was over

>sorry sir, birds no longer qualify as a second person. We only accept aardvarks or czechoslovakian traffic wardens at this establishment.

Spiked boots.

>gf

The first 4 steps are the same for me, but somehow my gf always gets taken to the bull pit. How do you avoid that?

>tfw manlets always cling on to your shoes
I always use a can of Robert's Slippery Shoe Sauce®, with extra semen.

>walked into cinema
>fell into the manlet pit
>kept walking

>tried paying local hobo to go to the local cineplex with me tomorrow to get around the no - singles policy
>he agrees and takes my money
>show up at the cinematographorium
>he has ratted me out to the kinoplex guards
typing this behind bars lads, fucking hobos have no code of ethics

just do what I do and stand on another manlet's shoulders. even if you get caught and thrown into the pit you can still pass the NSP

what is a manlet

Males under the height of 6'6".

Memeing aside, I overhead some people at class gossiping about how some guy called 'Alfie' had gone to GotG 2 by himself, and they were all saying how that was super weird and laughing at him.

Could it be this meme is rooted in reality?

i thoughts mods had to preapprove threads now

> head to cinema
> wearing 8-inch platform shoes but can't jump over the manlet pit
> find kinoplex sniper
> "excuse me, yesterday a manlet twisted my ankle trying to grab on when I jumped over and the doctor told me no jumping for a week"
> "we're very sorry sir! Have a complimentary time in our breeding section for your troubles."
> get escorted to the harem viewing suite via helicopter
> I finish at the same time the commercials do
> one of the concubines is pregnant with my manlet baby
> mfw

>Could it be this meme is rooted in reality?
most memes are tbhwy

>6'6"
Nice try little man, but the cutoff point is actually 7'2"

>6'6"
manlet detected

The bulls aren't considered part of cinema staff, so you are allowed to challenge them to a duel if they try to grab her. Most will back down from the challenge, but the ones who accept are dumb niggers who will try to fire the flintlock "gangsta style", guaranteeing they'll miss. Once you beat one of the they'll remember you're face and know to leave you alone.

>The designated cinema shooter is stuck in traffic so the Junior chief Projectionist assistant has to pause the commercials for an hour while we wait for him.

I knew i should have gone to see The Dark Knight Rises, their designated shooter always makes it in time

>the cinema suicide bomber is sick
>stuck with a shitty truck as a substitute

>be me
>go the nearest kinoplex
>flash my falcon to the kino sicherheitsbeamter
>the kino Sicherheitsbeamter tips his hat
>am granted access to the kino VIP corridors
>bypass the no singles policy
>circumvent kino sauna
>post on Sup Forums from my kino chair

Why is the manlet pit a thing in the first place? fuck you

>my reaction when this thread
epic win gentlemen, you might have just won the internet

>waiting in line to buy to my ticket
>today it's "singles day" so the no single policy is not enforced
>hyped for Guardians of the Galaxy 2
>normal people (mostly groups of young ladies) also come to the cinema for singles day but not for the movies
>watching losers going to the cinema alone has become an attraction (entrance is like 5 euros)
>they take pictures, talk to each other with their hands in front of their mouths, giggling, some of them have tears in their eyes from laughing so hard
>management of the cinema came up with the idea to put the biggest loser on display in a dunk tank
>I've never been in the dunk tank, feels excellent man
>suddenly, a very masculine man approaches me and says "you" and points to the dunk tank
>oh shit

t. oppressed manlet

I will never forget the time i entered the employees torture chamber by accident, it makes the manlet pit look like a fucking resort, holy shit

>go to local film house
>my kino licence is up for renewal
>have to watch The Mirror while in an mri
>get my results from the kinologist
>"unfortunately we have detected some abnormalities and you are... unsuitable for a licence. I'm not sure how they didn't pick this up last year"
>two orderlies drag me away and brand me before throwing me into the pleb pit
>forced to watch capeshit for 4 hours before i'm released

>Check online for film ticket prices at my local Movietorium.
>only 3 installments of £21.99
>Score! I order two for me and my peregrine falcon.
>Arrive at the cinema and pick up my pre payed tickets
>Get slapped with a whole bunch of unforeseen and unlisted side costs.
>£37.99 for a small popcorn and drink
>£13.50 for a hunting license for my peregrine falcon.
>£24.99 for anvil storage (x2)
>£3 locker rental to store my shampoo and soap and towel (it will get stolen if I leave it in the showers

all that BEFORE taxes. Don't forget the danm bureaucrats taking their cut too!
>VAT
>Falcon tax
>Anvil tax
>Shooter tax
>Ticket seller tip
>Food seller tip
>Anvil guardian tip
>Shooter tip
>Manlet patrol bribe (sorry I'm only 6'7 and I don't want to spen the whole movie with the rest of my fellow manlets in the pit)

Films are alot more expensive to go to these days. Naturally I didn't have enough money and ended up in the popcorn mines for a few weeks.

>suddenly, a very masculine man approaches me and says "you"
I think you just missed some vital part of his line

>my name is actually Alfie
I DID NOT GO BY MYSELF
I WENT WITH MY DAD AND BROTHER

this is not even clever memetics

>2045
>smart tv has a no singles policy and i can't watch any movies
>get the bright idea to use my sexbot
>WARNING! PROTECTION CIRCUMVENTION DETECTED!!!
>Singles swat team break through my windows, shoot my sexbot and arrest me
>sent to singles reprogramming camp

maybe you should get out of London lmao
At my local kinoplex, a ticket is £4, birds of prey are £2, sauna is £1, AND they always clear out the manlet pit

Your forgetting your tv licence.

>Paying for the sauna

>2020
>Iron Man 4 just hit theaters
>manlet pit temporarily sealed
>stilts available for purchase for 6 payments of $1299.99 plus tax and tip

this, a thousand times this!

i would upvote you all twice if i could!!!

For the price I'm paying for the ticket, I couldn't give a fuck about a paid for sauna

Is this thread a 9gag raid?

yup you caught us bro xD

Sauna attendance is mandatory, unless you own a five star falcon, graduated from the national avian academy.

You don't get as quality cinema shooters outside of London though. Here we import them direct from the source.

You don't need a tv license to go to the movies if you're all payed up on your Sharia tax. It's a little bonus they throw in.

...

>finally take a girl on a date11
>decide to take her to the kinoplex
>bypass no singles policy and finally be with a girl
>suddenly take a wrong turn
>end up in the cuck dungeon
>big bull comes up and beats me into submission
>forces me to watch star wars episode 7 while they gangbang the girl
>i blackout
>wake up on the street covered in blood
>never saw the girl again
>never visited my local kinoplex again

I know it's mandatory, that's why it is usually included in the ticket price.

reported you can expect the cinema spooks to take you in a couple of seconds, enjoy life in the popcorn mines

yeah because if you pay your sharia tax they use some of it to fund Sharia Friendly movies (so they're all shit)

You have to pay 49, 99 for the kino loincloth before leaving the sauna, they don't let you go naked to the auditorium.

Fucking jew run movie industry. Hidden costs everywhere!

>get some needle nose pliars
>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
>come back a couple hours later after the film
>see shit leaking into the hallway because the toilets can't handle people's monster turds