Seriously, how can one director fuck up so hard? I recently watched the Director's cut and every time Bloom opened his mouth he stuck out like a sore thumb with his totally insipid line delivery.
What's worse, he barely has any lines which I guess was a desperate altering of the screenplay in a bid to not let him shit up the movie, but instead it makes him come across as an almost mute autist who is given titles, important errands and a smoking hot woman for no apparent reason.
bloom was considered banakble because he was fresh off the lotr movies.
Zachary Young
this
OP btfo
Parker Reed
I will never get over that stupid as fuck face he is making on that poster.
Kevin Smith
hes fighting you stupid mongoloid
Lucas Lewis
The movie was a horrible distortion of the real life events.
Colton Rivera
How so?
Robert Reyes
Yeah and he still looks like he's taking a monster shit.
I'm sure you could cherry pick frames out of any action scene in any more where the actor is making a dumb face but you don't have to put it on a fucking poster.
It took every chance to portray the templars as villains, even changing history to do so. This list is pretty comprehensive. And Saladin was a piece of shit, though a great commander.
Connor Evans
The historical version of Balian was essentially Liam Neeson's character. The whole "bastard who grew up as a peasant" thing is a complete fabrication.
Josiah Wright
nobody cares
Austin Foster
That doesn't excuse shitty acting. I mean, they do screen tests and line readings before casting, right? Someone in the chain of command should have realized that he was going to suck.
Eli Parker
Dat Knight Hospitaller was based
>you march to certain death >all death is certain. I shall tell your father the man you've become
Josiah Green
I was responding to the person who asked, you faggot.
Justin Bennett
I fucking care, you underage retard. Take a nap and let the grownups speak.
Gavin Campbell
balian was never blackmsith, he was actually a well to do nobleman. sybilla was actually quite devoted to guy and never got involved sexually involved with balian. when saladin finally took jersalem like half the city's population went into slavery.
Ian Roberts
Bloom wasn't great in this, but decent. The theatrical cut made him basically the medieval rambo, but the directors cut takes a lot of the focus off him.
Directors cut is a 100x better movie btw.
Jordan Moore
>being this upset that a hollywood movie meant for entertainment wasn't historically correct
Elijah Gutierrez
Nope, just at you for being a faggot
Jaxson Young
threadly reminder that the hospitaller was literally an angel
Ayden Ross
The theatrical cut was. Directors cut not so much. They fuck with some of the people and events, but overall it's pretty accurate, and focuses more on the philosophy of the crusades, and the disillusionment of a lot of the crusaders.
Also points out that the muslims and crusader states weren't really mortal enemies, just occasional opportunistic foes like pretty much everyone at the time was.
William Evans
>The film Sybilla was kind, honest, yet meek. The real Sybilla was a frivolous, arrogant brat who was incredibly lustful.
You know what, she did come across as frivolous, arrogant and lustful bitch in the movie too.
>I'm not here to fuck you just because, Balian... >Let's fuck for no reason oh yeah
Evan Baker
Bloom wasn't even that terrible in the film, biggest problem was the way his character was written. They went for a complete "fish out of water" scenario, with this ridiculous arc of a simple blacksmith-turned legitimized bastard-turned jack of all trades in the Holy Land. If they kept it more historically accurate (Balian was always a noble in Holy Land) it could be a much more believable film.
Matthew Sullivan
Liam Neesons who band of rag tag knights were based. The berserker German Dane Viking, Lucious Vorenus, based black man, and who else am I missing?
Chase Mitchell
the part with Salidin respectfully putting the cross on the altar was the most pandering shit.
They actually drug the cross through the mud and shit in the streets for like 3 days.
William Hall
At times the muslims were dicks, at other times they were completely cool about it. They did allow all the christians in jerusalem to leave peacfully, after all.
Many other times they would allow christians to continue to live, and freely practice christianity in muslim lands.
One thing I think the film really tried to point out was that it was never a christian vs muslim war, even though that's what it was framed as at the time and ever since. Muslims spent way more time killing each other than warring with the christians, christians spent as much time fighting amongst themselves.
It was a war, which at the time meant it was a land grab....pure and simple ultimately. All the religion and symbolism is largely bullshit, which is what many crusaders were shocked to learn.
Leo Myers
Yeah they were really trying to make it look as one sided as possible.
Angel Rogers
Lupin was there too.
Yeah, the german babarian, the black guy and the roman just worked so well they stuck in my mind even though they were minor characters that died in the first 20 minutes.
That movie had so much chemistry and memorable details, Orlando Bloom was truly the bane of it all.
Kevin Wood
I always thought he was one of the weakest link in LOTR too. Yeah, he's like the prettiest character, but his acting was shit.
Michael Price
>tfw the pope will never raise a modern templar army and take back the holy land from the jew and muslims. And tear down the dome of the rock.
Adam Kelly
>tfw the pope kisses the hands of Jews these days
Ian Gonzalez
When the king decides to ask for his opinion on how to improve Jerusalem's walls was a huge wtf moment. Why would you ask him that? Because he is a blacksmith? You just schooled him in an elemental religious interpretation of the morality of war and he just sat there looking at you like a dog who looks solemn but doesn't understand what the fuck you're saying to him.
John Brooks
Well for starters, everyone was an asshole. Saladin was an asshole. Balian was an asshole. Other crusaders were assholes. The muslims were assholes. Also every event happened differently and mostly in a different order. Every character was different.
Dylan Thomas
I liked his elvish pronounciation but he had nothing going on besides that. Maybe he pulled the elvish off so well they decided to cast him. He didn't come off nearly as jarring in LOTR though, because LOTR wasn't trying to be a grounded grandiose medieval kino.
Landon Miller
I just realized it was Brendan Gleeson who played Menelaus in Troy.
The fucker disappears into his roles even if he is a fat irish ginger.
Jonathan Sullivan
Jesus thinks you're a jerk user.
Ryan Hernandez
They said he was a siege engineer before he was a blacksmith. I guess his experience in war was what made him use his skills for peace or whatever.
Ethan Sullivan
I guess he looks so dumb in a Zoolander-trying-to-look-serious way I completely disregarded that info
Alexander Jackson
Remind me again how did it end for the muslims living in Jerusalem when it got conquered by the crusaders vs when Saladin conquered it back.
Robert Ortiz
the muslims got killed and the christians got sold into slavery
Joshua Phillips
Orlando Bloom was fine.
Chase Rodriguez
"No!"
Joseph Price
Is this the last great Ridley Scott movie?
Luke Anderson
They fucking enslaved most of the population in Jerusalem while taxing the crap out of non-muslims.
Also slit yout own throat for viewing historical events through your own eyes. Fighting for your soul was of incredible importance. Nearly all the crusaders lost money and land in order to go. Jerusalem and the surrounding area was poorer then for example Syria or Egypt which the first crusaders mainly ignored. Shit, most soldiers and knights returned home after taking Jerusalem. The safety of your soul and securing it's place in heaven was the most important thing for people at the time.
Alexander Cooper
>They fucking enslaved most of the population in Jerusalem while taxing the crap out of non-muslims.
at what point? They alternated between total clemency and virtual enslavement. Depends when you're talking about.
>Fighting for your soul was of incredible importance
Most crusaders thought it was, before they actually got to the crusades. That is, if they actual got to the crusades as the majority would die in the journey there, or die of disease once they entered the desolate holy land.
> The safety of your soul and securing it's place in heaven was the most important thing for people at the time.
Once again, that's the reason a lot went, but when and if they actually got to the crusades, they discovered it was mostly europeans vying for power with one another, and a complete political war, which left many with a pretty bad taste in their mouth about the whole thing.
Benjamin Jackson
Yep.
But I've heard enough about Orlando not being leading star material for this movie. Who would you have put as the lead in this movie?
Thomas Hernandez
A young Clive Owen. He can do the stoic, quiet hardass that does what needs to be done very well.
