Be Jimmy Kimmel

>Be Jimmy Kimmel
>Do morning jog around the neighborhood
>Accidentally step on a snail
> Heart is broken
>Go on my show and tell audience the news
>Tears run down the face
> "I...I...sorry,guys.....I stepped on a snail today. As a parent, it was tuff for me.
>the audience weeps with him
>drumpf gets impeached

Other urls found in this thread:

apnews.com/b36ae122180848799a98aa1257be5393/Science-Says:-Kimmel-baby's-heart-defect-is-common,-fixable
youtube.com/watch?v=L2bVyMMj47Q
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

These types of heart conditions in kids are common and easily fixed.

He just wanted to be political .

...

What a cuck, amirite my fellow pol poster?

>be Jimmy Kimmelstein
>oy vey my ratings are dropping
>how can this be? I have celebs reading mean tweets, the goyim love celebs
>fuck I need to go political
>Oh I know! I'll exploit my kid's condition for sympathy and ratings
>what's the worst that can happen

This is like the time when Buckley made that Loss comic.

kill yourself you piece of shit

keep trying to defend this kike-nosed hack. his son deserves to die and you know it.

I don't watch this down syndrome fuck
What happened?

Damn straight my fellow pol poster!

snails a CUTE

>stepping on a snail

I'd be legitimately upset by this. The heart defect thing is nothing to be upset by.

apnews.com/b36ae122180848799a98aa1257be5393/Science-Says:-Kimmel-baby's-heart-defect-is-common,-fixable

His son was born with a heart condition so he used it as an excuse to shill Obamacare

If you dont want a son with a fucked up heart then dont breed with a Jew, especially if you're Jewish.

Not everything that happens is related to your infantile political viewpoint

at this point i have to assume these are false flagging liberals.

Except that's what happened.

Donald Trump tried to murder Jimmy Kimmel's boy but a snail sacrificed his life to save the child. Thanks, Obama.

Imagine being a janitor on Sup Forums and having to be all like "damn, Sup Forums, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your political threads and horrific disgusting BRAAAPposting. I would totally laugh at your forced memes, both my tripcode and my anonymous self." when all he really wants to do is delete the entire fucking board and redirect it to . Like seriously imagine having to do it for free while a BLACKED poster flaunts his thread in front of you, the "what's next for her career?"-posts barely concealing the off-topicness of Sup Forums, and just sit there, thread after thread, waifu after waifu, while spiderman says racist and anti-semetic things. Not only having to tolerate crab legs and cuckposting but Sup Forums's endless arguing about capeshit as everyone on says MARVEL BTFO and DAMN, HOW WILL DC EVER RECOVER?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and sift through the report queue deleting threads that make you want to kill yourself. You've been nothing but a hardass who curates forums and ensures high quality content your ENTIRE LIFE and once birthed a new way to look at 70s' cinema. You've never even seen anything this fucking repetitive before, and now you swear you can taste the reddit that's breaking out on the front page as Sup Forums continues to bathe in its own shit, smugly assured that you, the janitor, are enjoying the opportunity to DO IT FOR FREE and revel in Sup Forums's "contrarian (for that is what it calls itself)" memes, the memes it worked so hard on shitposting for years. And then a new DRUMPF thread appears, and you know you could ban every single person on this board before the admins could put you down, but you sit there and ensure, because you're a fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator status over this. Just bear it. Delete the cunnypost after three hours and bear it.

You're just mad you aren't paid to write slurs on the internet.

>kid pops out of Jimmy Kimmel's wife's vagina
>"hmmm, how can I use this against Trump?"

He exploited his newborn's heart murmur for political gain.

Well meme'd.

I nust lerned why everyone is making fun of kimmel.

The dude has half a billion dollars. He needs obombo care?

>triggered snowflake conservatives are trying to ruin Colbert because he made fun of Trump
>now they're going after Kimmel because he made fun of Trump

edgy

His argument falls flat, no?
Wasn't his argument basically "if I didn't have obamacare, my newborn son would've DIED (even though I have $35 million and can pay out of pocket)"?

>this is your brain on Sup Forums

>kimmel walks on stage
>the audience is so bored that their brains have practically gone numb from lack of stimulation
>kimmel chokes on his words as he desperately tries to speak
>s-so my s-s-son was... i.. uh... he was i-i-i-i
>the audience begins to shuffle as some people exit the building, others have gone so braindead that they are falling out of their seats onto the floor
>i-i... my s-son... he was... i...
>the audience is now mostly empty with the exception of a couple people who have gone unconscious on the floor
>my son was in the h-hospital
>kimmel looks up to face a horde of empty seats
>the lack of sound in the room is practically deafening
>kimmel wraps his hand around his eyes to hide his tears
>fine...
>BLUMPPF
>as if by magic the fleets of seats are suddenly filled and everyone is laughing and cheering
>kimmel returns to his desk
>while facing away from the audience he whispers to himself "I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. Donald." as a tear runs down his cheek
>he puts on a happy face and turns toward the cameras once more

>Sup Forums crossposters will mock Kimmel for having an emotional reaction to his newborn son's medical condition
>These same posters are severely triggered by Colbert mocking Trump

Really activates my almonds

>didn't even watch it
>still whines about political message that wasn't even stated
Just fuck off seriously

try watching the video before posting

>Be colbert
>make a joke about trump being a cock hole for Putin, expecting the left to love your joke
>backfires and they call you homophobic

yeah the conservatives are the triggered snowflakes here kek

boiling libcuck detected

Stop being so edgy, it was sad to watch Kimmel if you have a shred of humanity in you.

Kimmel gets 20 mil a year and hes been !oing it for 10 years. Kimmel is probably worth half a billion æt this point.

Obamacare means nothing to rich people. But obamacare literally forces poor people to buy insurance, or suffer a tax burden.

Rich white liberals pretend obamacare is saving poor people, but its literally a federally mandated tax, when free clinics and emergency rooms saved poor people.

But hey. Obombo drones will never admit this so who cares.

Hello Kimmel IDF.

everyone knows that children's hospitals literally turn away as many children with life threatening problems every second, obamacare changed that

His argument was that he was fortunate enough to be so wealthy that he could afford to pay for doctors to fix his son's heart condition. But to most Americans that's not the case and it's only thanks to the Affordable Care Act that these people don't have to just sit and watch their baby die because pre-existing conditions bs.

I don't, sorry. Thanks for the (You).

You're a piece of shit. It's still fucking scary.

multiply the outrage times a million if a conservative called Obama a faggot on their show

...

So edgy

aww, what a qtpie

Thank goodness that Trump was stopped in wanting to destroy Obamacare. What a truly evil man.

Sup Forumsacks are subhuman

>be american
>born with a heart condition
>die because you weren't lucky enough to be born rich

lmao

What's the joke

this a /moth/ board

Yeah, I've got a fucking heart condition too. I don't make enough money to qualify for Obamacare subsidies, and even if I did it would still cost $100 a month that I don't have for shit insurance that wouldn't help at all. So I can't afford insurance or to go to the doctor. Thank god I ended up being exempt from the Obamacare fines or I would be truly fucked.

...

TRIGGERED!

>be jimmy kimmel
>fuck sarah silverman
>day later, dick is all flakey and itchy
>whatever it'll go away
>date some qt and get her pregnant
>she has a baby. it looks like a lizard hatchling
>eyes starts bleeding and weeping pus as the newborn starts chanting in latin
>brand starts appearing on throbbing dickshaft
>666
>"yes my dark lord, thy bidding shall be done"

Wait wut? You really think obombo care opened up more beds in children hosptals?

Obambo care made more people eligible for buffet care in the overtrressed system

fucking kek

trumpcucks are so edgy.

when do they gain their chameleon shapeshifting abilities?

whats wrong with being edgy

...

Late night tv shows is just youtube whoring for boomers.
Didn't you figure that out yet?

'no'!
we shelly board

It's an exercise in bad faith

nobody cares, nigger

I hate donald trump. But i hate a federal mandate forcing me to buy a private insurance product even more.

How can you abomatards not see this? Obama xhanged the law so fucking hard. At this point the federal government can force you to buy time warner cable.

it makes me uncomfortable because im scared to express anything remotely socially unacceptablre because im physically and socially weak and scared of the repercussions that might follow saying something LE EDGY!!!!

he's not a piece of shit, he's just not a father
there's a reason teenagers are edgy and it's because vulnerability, and understanding your own vulnerability, comes with age.

before you've experienced heartbreak, that kind of drama doesn't resonate with you. The same is true of most experiences.

I wish we could just move to single payer already.

>guy gets sad is his son isnt healthy
>Sup Forums goes full alt-right over him
Get it the fuck together guys, holy shit.

Single payer is really the only way to go ag this point.

I hate paying taxes but we need a government. I think the government forcing me to buy a product is borderline criminal.

>guys
wow show some respect shitlord

your son is weak and he should have died

Ya' all a bunch of fucking retards. His point was about pre-existing conditions, which is pretty much universally supported by both the left and the right. Even the shitty republican health plan forces insurance companies to accept people with pre-existing conditions.

There's no god damn reason for anyone of any political standing to be offended by what he said.

kek
edgy like a dull spoon

the only people whom I've seen whine about Obamacare are those in fly-over states who's governors refused federal funding for their state's healthcare. No wonder they got shit insurance when they had no extra money to pay for the good plans

>Even the shitty republican health plan forces insurance companies to accept people with pre-existing conditions.

Actually they're advocating that states could choose to opt-out from accepting pre-existing conditions. Which is just a way to say they want to get rid of it, but don't want to get the blame for it directly.

>you're not edgy enough
>you're too edgy
pick your fucking shit, retard

Americans are so retarded they have to be forced to buy health care

KEK

Fuck, really? God dammit, republicans.

Americans truly are the laughing stock of the world. Bahahahaha

Voters like you are why the Democratic party will never hold power in this country again.

That's not really true, you lose the protection if there's ever a gap in your coverage. Switch jobs and go 30 days without insurance while you get switched over to a new plan? You can now be denied coverage for pre-existing conditions again.

instead of healthcare, we should subsidize coal mines. Did I win your vote with that one?

Bullshit. Jimmy kimmel has been hosting hia show for 10 years. His son is not 10. And even if his son was 20, any father gets health insurance.

Do you understand what pre existing means? If the kid gets diagnosed under the insurance plan, its covered.


Yes you are correct that the pre existing clause will be forever written out. But it isn't like trump wants to bring that back.

Obomacare literally forces you to buy a private product on the condition that you are alive. It completely changes law.

That's not even the worst part.

>X party is finished and will never be in power again

You have to be at least 18 to use this site kiddo. This shit is cyclical, neither the dems or the republicans are going away any time soon.

I accidentally stepped on scores of snails when i was a kid. Where's my applause?

...

you stupid fuck the us doesnt even actually exist.

>be anywhere else
>be born
>die
>blame rich people
>revolt
>establish dictatorship
>rich people die
>poor people die
>everyone dies

youtube.com/watch?v=L2bVyMMj47Q

This is literally you. Explain yourself.

>You want to drive? You HAVE to get car insurance
>You want to live? You HAVE to get health insurance

what's the difference really?

>democrats have absolutely NO ONE to run in 2020
>trump will have 3 supreme court noms and possibly 4

lol

Im not bitching about the cost. I am bitching about the fact that the federal government FORCES me to buy a private product.

How can you not understand this?

I eould not like it, but i would be fine paying taxes toward a sinle payer system.

Obamacare FORCES me to buy private insurance. From blue cross or united or farmers. Private companies. The governmrnt is forcing me to purchase a product.

You don't see the problem?

cringe

...

How the fuck is it australia is better than US when it comes to healthcare?

>colbert walks on stage
>audience on the edge of their seat, some begin preemptively passing out from excitement
>colbert smirks
>so....Trump this week, I mean...really?
>at once - a cacophony of shrieks and laughter of immeasurable magnitude erupts from the crowd
>colbert chuckles to himself and then points at the camera
>i mean c'mon people - im looking at you, white males
>all the women in the audience immediately begin twerking on the one black guy in the bleachers until the vibrations begin superheating his body to neutron star level temperatures
>the camera zooms in on colberts face
>seriously, do you not realize what year it is?
>the tidal forces resulting from the combination of applause, laughter, and tribal dancing starts to alter the very fabric of time itself
>colberts face begins to bend and contort until it loses any resemblance to its original figure
>the universe as we know it rips and vanishes into sheer darkness, leaving only one cardboard sign from the audience floating indefinitely within the endless abyss
>"it was her turn"

Haha, what an SJW beta cuck mudslime CTR shill lol xD

#MAGA

>muh freedom
You are a caricature

>says the white guilt faggot

I liked the Man Show. Unfortunately Kimmel went full Hollywood. He sold his soul for fame. His show should be named the Politically Correct Cuck Show.

At least Adam Corolla is still a man.

Why do leftists always falseflag?