>colbert walks on stage
>audience applauds
>Heh oh, yeah, sure, yeah hehe.. uh..
>audience quiets down
>So uh, heh, uh... so, yeah...
>puts hands in pockets
>Hmmm, uhh..
>paces towards camera
>Yeah... so... umm...
>a slight growing hum can be heard from the crowd
>... Donald.......
>the audience collectively prepares themselves with such force that it sucks all air out of the room, producing an environment similar to the vacuum of space
>colbert licks his lips slowly, the saliva immediately boiling due to the difference in pressure
>a few people begin to experience dangerous side effects, some go unconscious
>colbert, unphased, closes his eyes in dismay as he prepares to speak once again
>... Trump.
>the audience's collective groaning sigh causes the room to rumble and the building's foundations to sway
>dust drops from the ceiling as the rumbling continues, light fixtures drop to the floor and shatter
>the shards of glass shoot out towards the crowd, killing several people instantly and leaving some with gaping wounds
>a large glass of water on a stand drops to the floor near a broken light, extending the current
>one of the stage crew accidentally slips and lands in the puddle, taking several thousand volts into his body and frying his brain
>the rumbling ceases immediately
>colbert smirks
>I mean, really?
>the audience laughs as the dead crewman's body catches on fire in the background
Colbert walks on stage
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9/10
threadly reminder colberposting is an anti trump meme
>*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*
what did he mean by this?
>colbert walks on stage
>audience on the edge of their seat, some begin preemptively passing out from excitement
>colbert smirks
>so....Trump this week, I mean...really?
>at once - a cacophony of shrieks and laughter of immeasurable magnitude erupts from the crowd
>colbert chuckles to himself and then points at the camera
>i mean c'mon people - im looking at you, white males
>all the women in the audience immediately begin twerking on the one black guy in the bleachers until the vibrations begin superheating his body to neutron star level temperatures
>the camera zooms in on colberts face
>seriously, do you not realize what year it is?
>the tidal forces resulting from the combination of applause, laughter, and tribal dancing starts to alter the very fabric of time itself
>colberts face begins to bend and contort until it loses any resemblance to its original figure
>the universe as we know it rips and vanishes into sheer darkness, leaving only one cardboard sign from the audience floating indefinitely within the endless abyss
>"it was her turn"
>colbert walks on stage
>audience begins to giggle in anticipation
>colbert begins
>"Can you believe what Trump did?"
>the crowd boos fill the auditorium
>"Of course I wouldn't expect anything less from a white male"
>all the white men's penises shrink as the accumulated inches are added onto the black man's penis in the audience.
>the camera zooms in on colberts face
>the black man's penis satisfies all the wives impregnating them with his god sperm
>laughter ripples through the audience as the white men commit mass suicide
>"He bombed Syria just to please his boyfriend Putin!"
Dead meme. We're making fun of Kimmel now because he advocates healthcare for children.
protip: there's nothing worse than a salty commie, commie
The 2016 presidential election was the worst thing to happen to this board
Not an argument. Who are you quoting? Prove me wrong: you can't.
/thread
Ninth post best post.
Imagine being a janitor on Sup Forums and having to be all like "damn, Sup Forums, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your porn threads and horrific disgusting BRAAAPposting. I would totally laugh at your forced memes, both my tripcode and my anonymous self." when all he really wants to do is delete the entire fucking board and redirect it to . Like seriously imagine having to do it for free while a BLACKED poster flaunts his thread in front of you, the "what's next for her career?"-posts barely concealing the off-topicness of Sup Forums, and just sit there, thread after thread, waifu after waifu, while spiderman discusses the merits of national socialism. Not only having to tolerate crab legs and cuckposting but Sup Forums's endless arguing about capeshit as everyone on says MARVEL BTFO and DAMN, HOW WILL DC EVER RECOVER?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and sift through the report queue deleting threads that make you want to kill yourself. You've been nothing but a hardass who curates forums and ensures high quality content your ENTIRE LIFE and once birthed a new way to look at 70s' cinema. You've never even seen anything this fucking repetitive before, and now you swear you can taste the reddit that's breaking out on the front page as Sup Forums continues to bathe in its own shit, smugly assured that you, the janitor, are enjoying the opportunity to DO IT FOR FREE and revel in Sup Forums's "contrarian (for that is what it calls itself)" memes, the memes it worked so hard on shitposting for years. And then a new DRUMPF thread appears, and you know you could ban every single person on this board before the admins could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're a fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator status over this. Just bear it. Delete the cunnypost after three hours and bear it.
>vacume in the room
>sound can still be heard
DROPPED
Him and john oliver fuck need to be killed right now.
I'm not joking. I'm serious. This isn't bait. Those two four-eyed fucks are CANCER to talk shows.
DORMORMONT GRARTH
youtube.com
go to bed, kid
...
STOP MAKING FUN OF ME, YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOTS
Jesus man..
>BRAMPFAL BRAAAAMPF
>this is a prime-time comedy show
jesus, Stephen
Gotta give it to Colbert, I had never seen trumpettes this anally devastated. They're making dozens of threads a day about this shit.
>so..
>donald...
>KILL ALL FAGGOTS
>I FUCKING HATE GAY PEOPLE
what did he mean by this?
It's just memes you dumb redditor
It's OK to be homophobic, to say the worst things imaginable as long as you're a liberal and are talking shit about Trump.
The supposedly "tolerant, progressive" left, ladies and gentlemen (and everyone and everything inbetween ladies and gentlemen).
Which is worse between the two? I don't watch their shows
>So...
The audience edges up on their seats. It's the sound of winter. You could hear a pin drop as the anticipation mounts -- where could this lead? This is surely one of the best joke setups yet. A dog barks in the distance.
>Donald Trump...
Urine fills the floor amids a tidal wave of laughter. TV cameras shake as an associate producer shits her pants. A 27-year-old grad students falls over the audience railing and snaps both ankles, impervious to pain as xhe descends into hysteria. The entire front row, between tears of joy, begins a "I'M WITH HER" chant, complete with fist pumps and choreographed dance. A woman prematurely goes into labor after severe abdominal strain caused by intense laughter.
>Is Orange.
The audience feverishly bumrushes the sage and carries off the entire staff. Rioting in the street begins at 11:40 pm that evening and lasts six days. A million-man march is organized and the Emmy nomination board is held hostage in their offices. The frothing masses demand immediate and decisive action to ensure "The Late Show" wins ever category the following year. Trained baboons are released and taught to build idols and statues of Stephen Colbert. The United States Federal Government cease their grants for cancer research and instead transfer them to generating Stephen Colbert embryos for in-vitro fetilization.
And that's just the first 5 minutes.
No, you're visibly upset. I wonder how many of you fat fucks started crying when you saw this on TV. This shit is gold.
>DRUMPPFF IS COKHOLSTER. LOOOL
edgy
>BLORGON PRIMFF IS A FAG
>DEUMFFF IS A FAG AND COCKHOLSTER WHO LIEK COCK!!!! LLOOOL