Australia's Carp war is still going on

Please give a status report because I'm worried sick.

dont worry if you dont hear back for a while. giving carp herpes is damned hard work, and mate, theres a shitton

How can Australia jr. help? We have a navy

No one fucking cares mate.

I've been fucking as many as I can but I can only output so much volume yeah?
We've a few hundred men working across the clock. The only thing in the air is how long it will take.

Carp have control of most fronts. Significant footholds in the agriculture centres of the country. The media are keeping this from the public to avoid mass panic.

Carp herpes will save us

Kek

This. We've resorted to biologic warfare to save us another embarrassment.

A carp raped my sister last night, there was nothing I could do but watch in horror. There were 7 of them, and the biggest of all took my sisters asshole until it bled, I will make sure they pay for what they have done.

It's all part of China's plan to terraform Australia for them to inhabit

Shit m8, you guys really need to sever their communications with the emus as fast as possible

sounds about right

carps....winning...

send...
help...

use the boomerang m8

Their defeat and assimilation into Australian society is at hand. Soon those lips will be around Australian dicks and we will no longer require females

shit mate what front was that taken on? im currently on the West Australian frontlines, light fighting but we are expecting a big one tonight

$15million for one brave Aussie to fuck a thousand carp and give them all herpes.

t. carp

Hey you can't lose as badly as you did to the emu's.

This.

My dick is raw already

Carp supply and communication lines are vast. Most of our generals secretly concede the war will be lost.

I fear that the carp and emu will form an alliance

kek that pic
>you will never be strayan

Keep on fighting the good fight, Australia. Europe is proud of you.

>spain
>europe

what happens when they take over your cities?

your next mate, they will conquer the world

Will the Carp/Emu Coalition decide to invade the mainland?

Butthurt Carp detected.

Hey guys, isn't Sonia a FUCKING LEGEND?

Another war lost by AU to animals... maybe the Thylacine killed himself cause he was depressed.

yes, I want to marry her

We'll probably say "Not all carps" and ban free speech

The carp have taken my hometown. Thousands dead. Emus are behind it all. Carp cannot be stopped. Emus out for blood. Their forces will be here any day. Hope is lo

ALL IS WELL FELLOW HUMANS
REMEMBER THAT THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SUSTAINABLE FISHING
GLUB DAY

Why don't they just overfish it and sell it instead of wasting $11m/£8m

you know nothing about carp

Hey guys, Ausbro here what's up? Heard some rumour about a war but don't worry. That's just a conspiracy.

I know, I cook it and it's delicious.

sorry not related,
aussie bro is there really earthquake right now?

you only have moderate crap, we have to deal with radicalised carp

I would over-fish it and give it for free or half price.
It is actually one of the better fishes to cook , especially the European one, the asian one doesn't have much taste.

I don't know why you can't just fish it, can it, and sell it in China cheap. They probably don't even care what it tastes like but would be happy it won't kill them from eating it like what they get in China.

THEY ARE A SPECIES OF PEACE, RADICAL CARP HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ALL CARP

INFACT i know a moderate Carp myself, he's a good fish, you dont want to be demonising people like him dont you?

Perfidious cunts desu

But they are our brothers.

Less land does not equal less honor.

That video was taken in Illinois. The carp have now begun a mainland invasion of the US.

>I don't know why you can't just fish it
In Australia the carps fish humans.
They put a hook in their bloody mouth and use the fishing rod as bait.

Do you think it's time for us to add carp to fish'n'chip shop menus? To help our ANZAC brothers.

I mean it'd basically be a war crime but we have to do something to help the Aussies!

>we get to witness the rise of the Carp-Emperor of Mankind
I, for one, welcome our carp overlords.

...

Yeah, we put them there to draw you into the war. Show us the toys you've been hiding.

>INFACT i know a moderate Carp myself, he's a good fish, you dont want to be demonising people like him dont you?
But carp are non-persons. Literally.

>Show us the toys you've been hiding.
Well, we've managed to weaponize dindus to not only eat fried catfish, but to also eat other kinds of fish.

We are working on Carp Trials as we speak, and it looks promising.

Problem is that for every fish it fries and eats, it kills a white person. Also, it can't be controlled.

Recommendation: kill it after it kills one. Good thing is they breed just as quickly as the carp you're fighting, but it requires lots of gibsme and Jordan shoes.

Forgot about the dindus. Don't worry, we'll just send them to live in remote abo communities with no guns and watch the results at home.

>have dindus fry up all the carp
>have dindus and abos "solve" each other
Brilliant!

fug itz like anoder emo war xDDD

I never did bass to mouth with that young carp

If it looks like the dindus are winning we'll upgrade the abo's Centrelink payments so they can afford tinnys of Jim Beam and coke.

It'll be over in hours.

Shout out to the boys of the 114th. Bazza bagged this one this morning. Put up a hell of a fight

So a lively root, then.

If you help fucking fish up we stand at the ready.
All marine life must die.
fuck whales

Mate when they're that wet you don't have to work too hard to find a hole to stick it in

Jesus I cant write for shit.

If you need help *

Don't tread on me or my wife's son ever again

No worries, eat some Walters Mandler chocolate for me.

How in demand are people for fishing trawlers in Norway? I'm lead to believe its a pretty rough job.

Anglo Shapeshifter here.

You're basically doomed, Aussie scum.

This is what you get for oppressing the EMUS.

We've been living under their iron talon for the last 90 years.

Don't you even fucking talk about oppression

I think it would be easy enough to find work if you can take it.
It pays fairly well, but as you said it is rough work.

I know a couple of guys up north that are retiring and their kids dont want even want the ships. Living the lazy live in the city sounds better for most i guess.


Walters is pretty good but
fruktnott is the patrician choice.

I dunno m8

This story smells fishy

Keep me posted

Reported to the EMUWAFFEN.

Expect a visit.

Walters with caramelized almonds craps all over Fruktnott. Fruktnott's acceptable if you're in a mountain cabin, though.

n-no plz

So this is what happens on pol at 6 am. Neat.

> Fruktnott
>mountain cabin

Breakfast of champions.
Dont forget to bring some kvikklunsj for the trip aswell.

Fuck, I miss Kvikklunsj every time I eat an inferior Kit Kat.

I prefer fnbghfvsthh instead