Hello students, my name is Professor Werewolf. I'll be teaching you evil magic

Hello students, my name is Professor Werewolf. I'll be teaching you evil magic.

Evil magic was what JK Rowling cast on Humanity when she wrote Harry Potter, the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously, each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

But first, could one of you children direct me to the nearest wc?

Kek.

That opening.

Why did Tumbledoor hire a werewolf to teach at Hogwarts again?

Did you eat my chocolate?

everytiem

...

>Keeps picking monsters & death eaters to be professor of the dark arts
>Somehow still headmaster

10/10 writing

iirc the position is cursed

Affirmative Action

Daily reminder

YAAASSS SLAY QUEEN

Best teacher desu

...

Keep up the good fight user.

>"No!"
Always worth a chuckle.

than you based dullest franchise poster

>first book had to change title because Americans don't know what a philosopher is.

A reminder to everyone that Voldemort did literally nothing wrong and that JK Rowling tried to write a Nazi allegory where the people that the Nazi's were comprised of were objectively superior to the "untermensch". Just like in real life

>Huxley below Orwell
Huxley was right though.

Good vs Evil?

V.M. VARGA

10/10 opening

turns out that between the werewolf, the deatheater in disguise and literally voldemort, the worst teacher to ever grace the position was the one the ministry forced on him

nobody wants to be the guy to stir that pot

Because he's good at his job and he has the werewolf thing under control when he's not being too stupid to take his meds.

One of the best openings I've seen for this