What keeps you alive? fear, or self-delusion?

What keeps you alive? fear, or self-delusion?

Banter

I want to presence the world on flames. I kinda feel Something is about to happen but It never happens.

>tfw you live for the happenings.

I want to know why we're here

Anger

The latter
I keep telling myself things will change while sinking deeper and deeper into the whole I've dug for myself.

Hatred of foreigners.

wine

Rage and will power do.

I can either continue to experience existence for a limited time or stop experiencing existence forever

When you look it like that, unless your life is 100% pure suffering, temporary existence > eternal non existence

this

Consumption :)

because im a normal non self hating human being

I don't know

Positivitivity

but wat if my laif is 100% suffering

inertia

that counts as self-delusion

Mostly my mother.

But weirdly one of the things that get me going is that I for exempel wanna watch a movie that comes out late 2018. Reason to stay alive.

Momentum
I'm not depressed enough to want to end it and i'm not motivated enough to strive

>temporary existence > eternal non existence
Fallacy. You can't compare existence with lack of existence

Apathy

ich sag nicht ja zum leben, aber es ist eben da deswegen halt ich auch nicht allzu stark dagegen

Since I cut all contact with women, my life has improved drastically. I never realised how poisonous their nature is.

if I kill myself mommy will get sad

mostly hatred and the fact that i feel this need to become someone in life to keep feeling superior to people, only to then have some kids with a woman i won't love so that i can pass on these nonsensical obsessions to someone else who'll suffer in my stead.
Also you can't take drugs if you're dead lel

this but i have never contemplated suicide

Этoт

Fear of pain. If I had a shotgun I would do it right now.